Today My Life Begins

Chapter 4

It's been nearly a month since I've let Rose and Jasper in on a little bit of my background.

They come by every day, the days the boys have football practice, Rose and I hang out at the bleachers if it's nice or we come home and talk. It's been great therapy for me, on top of the weekly therapy I have with Esme, which I've now learned is Edward's mom. I was nervous at first, her office is in her house and I was afraid Edward would hear. She assured me no one could hear and that Edward isn't that type of child, which I'd learned being around him at school. He was quiet, had the same tastes in music and movies as me, but he had the world's worst girlfriend. She was a raging bitch some days. Always complaining about what people wore and bitching to me about always wearing sweats. Jasper and Edward had put her in her place one afternoon and she'd more or less stopped, but still gave me dirty looks. Today she wasn't there, Edward asked our opinion on breaking up with her. They all begged him to and I just nodded in reassurance.

Rose and I were in the bleachers today, whispering and talking about our pasts and she was telling me how she finally just snapped out of it one day and took her life back. She said she still has bad days, like the anniversary of it or if she gets a certain smell it'll trigger a flashback, but she was tired of being a victim. I told her I was too and wanted to be able to trust again, I was tired of being scared of my brother and father.

"Bella, I know yours is a lot fresher than mine, but I had no one to vent to, who actually understood what I was going through. The only person I DID trust was Jasper. I couldn't let my parents touch me, especially when they'd pushed for me to date him." She shook her head.

"I-I want to trust Jasper too." I looked up to her and smiled.

Rose let out the biggest squeal and was bouncing up and down, causing the entire football team to stare at us. Instantly causing me to shake.

"Shit! I'm so sorry Bella. I'm just so happy to hear you say that. You're ALL the Jasper talks about you know?" she smiled the biggest smile I've seen ever.

"It's OK, I've got to come out of my shell a little, right?" I sighed.

"Yeah, it's best for you to. Jasper is a great first step. He's quiet and won't ask too many questions. He's fiercely protective and he's a great listener. Not to mention I KNOW he likes you." She squealed again.

I just shook my head at her and laughed. It felt good to laugh.

"Why don't we plan dinner and movie night again? But go out this time." I asked.

"Really? You ready for that?" Rose asked concerned.

"Yeah, I talked to Esme about it and she thinks it'd be a good idea, especially with a trusted group. She knows how much I trust you guys." I shrugged.

"I can't believe I'm doing this!" I paced in my bedroom talking to Rose.

"Bella, you'll be fine and I must say you look smoking hot in these clothes. I'm so glad we went shopping. Even if you'd only go to Target. Those jeans hug your ass girl!" she laughed and hugged me.

"I don't look like a whore do I?" I whispered, suddenly worried.

"What? NO! Please don't let him into your head." I held her hands.

"I'm trying not to." I smiled.

"I like the scarf, now you don't have to feel worried about people staring." She smiled, she knew my insecurities so well.

"Come on. They're waiting." I took a deep breath and let it out.

"WOW!" Was all I heard as I walked from behind Rose. Emmett and Jasper staring at me.

"I've got my sister back." He hugged me tightly and whispered a thank you to Rose. "Thanks for letting them in sis. We're both getting some normal." He kissed my head and released me.

The night went off without a hitch.

Jasper didn't even complain as I latched onto his arm with a vice grip while we were walking from the restaurant to the theatre.

"Sorry for cutting off your circulation." I blushed.

"No worries Bella. You can always hold on to me." He smiled and squeezed my hand.

We sat there staring at each other in the back of Emmett's Ford Explorer.

"Bella, I know you haven't shared everything with me and I'm OK with that. But I'd really like to ask you out, as in being my girlfriend." He said shakily.

"Oh, wow! I- I haven't had, I mean dated anyone since…" I let it drift off as always.

"I understand. Just know the offer is open whenever you're ready." He smiled.

"Can we start with friends? Um, maybe you walk me to classes since Emmett really wants to be with Rose?" I smiled softly.

"Yes!" He practically yelled.

When we arrived home we all climbed out of the truck and Emmett walked Rose over to the car she shared with Jasper. It was a Mustang and fit them both.

Jasper walked me to my front door while the love birds made out, again.

"Thanks for the wonderful night." I smiled at Jasper.

"You're more than welcome." He beamed back.

We stood there in awkward silence for a few seconds before I reached up and kissed his cheek and whispering a quick 'thank you' again and disappearing into the house.

I fell asleep with a smile on my face, that hadn't happened since that fateful night.

AN:

ENJOY!

Progress?

Maybe?

Setbacks… Of course!

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