CH 4
Rogue turned sullenly and followed Remys receding back. He was her way home and not only that but curiosity was filling her, she wanted answers, she wanted to know how and why and he was the one who could tell her that. She caught up with him her steps drifting in time with his. He took her hand in his and squeezed hers lightly.
"Later chere, you need sleep first" he whisper as if reading her mind.
Rogue turned slightly to look at him and nodded. Upon reaching his bike Remy let go of Rogues hand and climbed on sliding the helmet on his head. He waited until Rogue had got on behind him and wrapped her arms tightly around his torso. Running one hand along her arm he then picked up her hand and kissed it lightly on the knuckles.
"Don't fall asleep yet chere. Just hold on tight, it won't take long"
Remy lifted the drowsy Rogue off the bike once they stopped
"Can you walk?" he asked
He watched as Rogue took a few drowsy steps before stumbling and nearly losing her balance.
"With your help?"
Remy just strode over to her and picked her lithe form up into his arms and carried her towards her room. He placed her form on the bed and covered her carefully. Turning away he pulled the curtains closed over the dying sunlight. He walked back to the bed a sat down next to her stroking her silken hair with gentle fingers.
"Don't leave" she whispered reaching out to hold tightly to his wrist.
He looked down at her pale flawless hand holding onto his wrist. Crawling under the covers with her, she then loosened her grip and move closer, he wrapped his arms safely around her and waited until she fell asleep before closing his eyes and following suit.
Rogue walked out of the bathroom, her hair dripping and wearing fresh clothes. She sat on the edge of the bed and looked at the sleeping form of Remy. Turning away slightly towards the window she found her eyes settling on a familiar object. The knife lay abandoned on the floor and ray of light struck it from through the curtains illuminating the red blood the still clung to the knifes blade. Panic forced its way into her body and pain struck into her chest. Her breathing became labored and forced. She forced herself to move, to look away. Slowly she made her way to Remys still sleeping form, crawling slowly, her breath still labored and forced. Her body collapsed just as she neared his torso, her arms stretched one straight in front of her, the other across Remys hip.
"Rem" she choked out hoping he heard her.
"Chere?" his voice came in a sleepy reply
Lifting his head he saw Rogues fallen form. Helping her to sit up he carefully leaned her back against the wall. He moved around the room search for something to help her until he came up with a simple paper bag. Handing it to her he help her with breathing into it until her breathing became normal again.
"What happened chere?" he asked now holding her in his arms
"The knife. Pain. Panic" she whispered in incomplete sentences
Remy leaned over to see passed the side of the bed and saw the knife still lying blood covered on the floor. He released Rogue from his hold before picking the knife up and washing it in the bathroom sink. He then slid the cleaned knife safely into his bag.
"It's ok chere, it's ok" he murmured kissing her hair lightly.
Kitty looked questioningly at the professor
"Is she ok?" she asked
She is fine Kitty; she's not alone. She will return eventually"
Rogue sat cross-legged on the empty bed. Remy has disappear off to god knows where and she was left all along. She stared at the objects in front of her; each placed so perfectly. She picked up the pocketknife in her hand running her fingers over the smooth coating. She placed it down next to the other two objects, a pen and plain pieces of paper. Picking up the pocketknife again she carefully flicked it open testing the sharpness of the blade on her thumb. Blood prickled through the thin cut. She didn't know whether she wanted to kill herself of not anymore but she wanted the pain, the control she had over it when she had control over nothing else in her life. Holding the knife over her left wrist she ran it down following the vein in one movement digging it in deep enough to hurt but not kill. She exchanged hands that held the knife and slit the other wrist. Prickling tears of pain tickled her eyes. She simply picked up the pen and began to write.
In this moment we both know it's all over
Just look who's dying now
There's no escape, only fear
Regretful of the past
Slit wrists redeem the wrong shameful rings of blood
But nothing can change it
It's too far gone
But look who's dying now
You've done it wrong
Nothing can change the truth
It doesn't matter what you say
It never mattered anyway
In this moment look around
We both know it's all over
In this moment,
It's all over
Blood escapes for the pain of another.
She looked down at the deep black words written so neatly on the page. She lay back on the bed pulling her body into a fetal position while also hiding her arms from view. She finally let the tears fall blurring her vision before everything turned black.
