Alessin rose with the sun, as all good Holdermen did, and went hunting for his breakfast. He found Gemna - industriously stirring the porridge and feeding Suno bits of fruit - and Telea, looking wan and exhausted.

"Where's Talia? Lying late abed again, I suppose." he said with all his superior, masculine disdain for feminine weakness.

"She had the child last night, sir." Telea said cautiously. "They are both well and asleep."

His face transformed, now wreathed in pride and glee, as he sat at the table and served himself a heaping bowl of oatmeal.

"Another son for me!" he crowed, then, seeing the look on the midwife's face, his expression went downhill rapidly.

"A girlchild?!" he demanded, wroth.

Talia was woken out of her sound sleep by Telea gently shaking her shoulder, and Alessin's stomping steps outside the door.

"He's not best pleased." Telea warned, then took the sleeping child from beside Talia just as Alessin swept in.

"Couldn't do any better than a girl?" he inquired immediately upon entering, barely bothering to cast the babe a glance.

A wave of anger swept through Talia, heating her face and making her hands shake. With great effort she modulated her voice.

"I'm sure the next will be a son." she murmured, fighting to keep her tone neutral.

Alessin stalked over to Telea and pushed pushed the blanket away from her face.

"Selia." he announced, "After the Goddess. May she be as silent and obedient as her namesake." and then he stalked out of the room.

Telea and Talia regarded one another with carefully blank faces for a moment until Talia raised her arms in a mute demand for her daughter. Telea carefully placed the child in Talia's arms and admonished her to sleep as long as she could. Talia nodded by way of reply, and Telea left, much more sedately than Alessin had.

Talia carefully rolled onto her side, and regarded her sleeping child. Somberly, she brushed her finger across one, soft cheek and sighed.

"Be silent, but only when your father in near." she whispered, "But be brave, like the Shin'a'in goddess. Her name is Kal'enel, and...you're going to grow up wild and free." she decided, spur of the moment. She would not stay a moment longer than she had to in a place where she would be required to raise her daughter the way Talia herself had been, and then have to give her up to marriage and childbirth in thirteen years.

"And your name isn't Selia." Talia continued. "Your father wants you named after a goddess, so you will be, but not Sel'inel. Your name is Kalene, and we'll be leaving as soon as your Mum is strong enough to travel."

At once both relieved and terrified by her decision, Talia quietly stared at her tiny daughter, memorizing every detail from her wispy, brown hair to her tiny fingernails until she fell asleep again, one finger being held securely by a tiny hand.


"Make the brat be quiet!" Alessin's voice was an angry snarl, and his emotional tone was full of sexual tension and annoyance at the week-old "Selia"'s cries. He had been growing increasingly angry over the last sevenday whenever he was reminded of his daughter's existence, and Talia was beginning to fear for her daughter whenever Alessin was in the same room as her.

He hadn't made any attempt to hold or interact with her - that wouldn't have been typical for a father, as far as Talia knew - but he glared blackly in her direction whenever she made a peep.

Talia put down her knitting and picked Kalene up from the rocking cradle immediately. The baby didn't quiet, and Alessin's mood went from upset to rage.

"If you don't make her be quiet," Alessin promised in deceptively smooth tones, "I'll make her be silent and she'll stay that way," and turned back to mending worn harness pieces, still invisibly seething.

Eyes hugely wide with terror, Talia turned to shield Kalene from her father's view, and wrapped a layer of her shield over her, wanting nothing so much as for her daughter to be invisible.

To her shock, Alessin subsided immediately, even though Kalene's cries continued. Talia held the peculiar shielding she'd done by accident and sent calming waves over her daughter, who quieted quickly.

Cautiously, Talia took her long length of wrapping cloth and secured the newborn to her chest, then sat back down in her chair and picked up her knitting. Alessin completely ignored both of them. When Gemna walked through a few minutes later, Suno dangling off her free hand, Alessin relieved her of the basket of laundry with a smile and deposited his son by Talia.

"Watch him for awhile." he ordered, and seemingly didn't notice his daughter. Talia nodded and took Suno's hand, mind whirling as she processed the implications of this new development.

Good mood restored, Alessin disappeared with Gemna, who followed him meekly.

Talia turned her attention to Suno, clinging to her hand soberly. He regarded her unblinkingly.

"Where Sel-ee-ah?" he asked, over enunciating his half-sister's name.

"She's sleeping right now." Talia responded with a tiny smile, loathe to let anyone lay eyes on her daughter at the moment, and handed him his stuffed sheep.

Suno played on the floor with his sheep and her knitting basket as Talia sat, one hand covering her daughter's head as she tried to understand exactly how this hiding shield worked.


"...so get the boy's things packed right away; his grandfather's wives will raise him. The next eldest son will inherit this Holding in a few years..."

Gemna knelt on the floor, holding the sobbing toddler as Talia nodded, blank-faced along with the priest's injunctions.

"...be staying here, of course, until the Holding is packed up. Once that's done your fathers will doubtless have new marriages arranged for you."

Talia blinked and carefully maintained her mask - and the hide-me over Kalene - although inwardly she was dancing and blessing the bandits who shot her late, unlamented husband off his horse. She was also cursing them as well, however. She'd planned to run away in a month or two, when her post-child bleeding had stopped and she'd regained some strength, not some three weeks after the birth!

Gemna was outwardly calm, but inwardly a seething, roiling turmoil of relief and terror. Talia could tell she was still favoring her hip from where Alessin shoved her into the - thankfully unlit - stove earlier in the week, and Talia herself had painful, finger-shaped bruises along both arms from Alessin's tender mercies.

Doubtless the underwife was terrified to go to a new husband, especially since it was most likely they'd go to different men, and as underwives.

Talia mechanically showed the thin, ascetic-looking priest to a spare bedroom and went directly to the attic and began packing all of Suno's clothes and toys. She'd hardly finished before Julin arrived with sons, wife, and cart in tow to collect his grandson and his son's body. Two of the sons went to the cellar to fetch Alessin's shrouded corpse, and another disappeared into the attic for the lone crate of Suno's belongings.

Gemna carried Suno to the cart and handed him to his grandmother, who was just as blank-faced and dry-eyed as her daughter-in-laws, but extremely tender as she took Suno from his step-mother.

"He loves porridge." Talia volunteered, following Gemna to the cart. She was unwillingly feeling sorry for the woman and her deep grief for her eldest, terrible son. "His favorite toy is the sheep in his bag."

"He sleeps through the night." Gemna added, eyes downcast modestly. "Unless he has a nightmare.

"Having other children nearby will probably help with those." Alessin's mother mused, and the heartache in her eyes faded a little as Suno grinned and patted her cheeks.

Talia and Gemna slipped away back to the house and continued packing. Everything of Alessin's was put into crates and trunks and left in his room. Some of those would go to Suno as he neared his adult height, and the rest would go to those of his uncles who were old enough to run their own Holdings.

Talia and Gemna, of course, would go with all their scant belongings to new spouses - or at least that was what everyone but Talia believed.

There were other people around all day, moving the flocks, herds, and equipment back to Julsholding, so Talia held her tongue and worked quietly with Gemna. Once night had fallen and the two retired to their bedroom, Talia blatantly dropped the hide-me over Kalene where Gemna could not help but notice, and waited for the reaction.

"Wha...what?" Gemna's eyes widened. "That's Selia! How did I not notice...I forgot about her!"

Talia untied the wraps holding her daughter to her chest and began changing her diaper.

"Yes; it's part of a Gift I have." she responded, "And her father may have called her Selia, but I have named her Kalene."

She finished cleaning the baby and redressed her with swift, economical movements in the warmest of clothes she had for the child. Once she was done, she sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed and put her to the breast, then regarded Gemna with a stony face.

"They intend to marry us off again."

"Yes." Gemna dipped her head and that terrible apathy consumed her again. Her face went blank, and she stripped off her clothing with mechanical, jerky movements.

"I intend to do nothing of the sort." Talia kept her voice even and almost emotionless. Gemna's head jerked up and her cloud of apathy was startled away in shock.

"I...I...don't understand. You have no choice but to -"

"We have options." Talia cut her off, leaning forward with fire in her eyes.

"Remember Healer Rathis? Well," she continued when Gemna nodded uncertainly, "While he was at Julsholding we had many, long conversations. Before he left, I resolved to leave the Holdings as soon as I was strong enough after the birth. I'm still not strong enough, really, but this is our only chance."

"B..b..but you were never alone with him. How did you talk?" Gemna was reeling, out of her depth in this near-blasphemous conversation.

:Like this.: Talia sent as gently as she could. Gemna shot to her feet.

"What was that?" she all but screamed.

"Mindspeech." Talia reverted to speaking aloud. "Rathis has left a purse and instructions at the nearest Guardpost for me to be escorted to the nearest town. We'll be able to find work easily, I'm sure. We're young and strong, even if I have a babe and you're with child."

"Us?" Gemna queried.

"Us." Talia confirmed. "You have a talent for singing. Mayhap you could learn to be a minstrel or even a gleeman! Or," Talia uncrossed her legs and contrived to look bored, "perhaps you'd prefer to be married to an old man who may be even worse than our late, honored husband." she pronounced the last words with sarcasm; disdain dripped from every syllable.

Talia uncurled from the bed, arms carefully supporting her daughter as she nursed, and padded over to Gemna.

"I don't want to be remarried."

Gemna looked up at her with unshed tears in her eyes. "Goddess forgive me. Neither do I."


It was only a half a league from Alessholding to the main road, but by the time Talia and Gemna reached it, Talia was already tired. Nevertheless, she knew she couldn't have made it the half a league a few weeks prior. She put a hand in the small of her back and arched it, popping the bones from her hips to her shoulders.

"From the road, the nearest Guardpost is three leagues away." she recalled Rathis telling her, and wondered if she could walk that far.

Talia clutched Kalene to her chest, grateful the babe slept soundly as her mother slipped through the night.

Her back and shoulders ached unmercifully, and and her legs shook. She was weak yet, from the birthing, and even the half a league to the road from Alessholding had wearied her.

"Three leagues..." she thought, "I'll be lucky if it takes me five hours in my state."

The waterskin at her side was full, she had a bag of pies, bread, and smoked venison; she knew she would have enough food, and few bandits would prey on a road so near to a Guardpost, and yet Talia shook with more than weariness and weakness. She had never been so far from a Holding as the Guardpost. Even when she traveled from Sensholding to Julsholding the journey had been less than three leagues. Had she been allowed - and so inclined - she could have walked the league to her childhood home in under an hour.

A hard knot of fear gripped her stomach, but her chest was light enough to burst. The moonlight painted streaks across the horizon, and though she feared (oh, how she feared) the wrath of her kin, it was not enough to turn her back to the Holdings.

Gemna, sturdy and silent, trudged along behind her, laden with more belongings than Talia had packed, even counting Kalene's tiny clothes and nappies.

Talia blinked. It had come on gradually, but she noticed the night noises had been steadily supplanted - nay, joined - by a rhythmic, bell-like tone. Her forehead creased as she stepped into a deep shadow, Gemna joining her with deference and a quizzical sound beginning to escape her.

"Hush." Talia hissed, and the younger girl clutched at her stomach and obeyed. Talia spun her hide-me over Kalene and pressed more strength into it than she'd ever attempted before.

My daughter will be safe.

They remained in the shadow, the sound - almost like horse's hooves, if not for that bell-like tone - came ever nearer. Nearly a quartermark passed before a pale shape emerged from the nearest switchback, climbing the steep road towards them. Talia touched her daughter's fine, downy hair and pressed contentment into her as a precaution to keep her asleep.

The pale shape vanished into the shadows, then reappeared suddenly enough to make Talia gasp and jerk back. Gemna stifled a scream, then began to laugh with a tinge of hysteria.

"It's a horse!" she pointed out. Talia blinked and the imagined monster resolved itself into a pure white horse, tacked up in a gorgeous saddle and bridle, and entirely missing a rider.

"Hello, gorgeous." Talia let out a shaky breath of relief and clambered back onto the road. "Where's your master?" she held out a hand for the horse to sniff, then caught its reins.

"Maybe we should take it. At...at least to the Guardpost?" Gemna suggested, and Talia rather thought the notion was a good one. With her free hand, she tugged her loose coat to cover Kalene's head more thoroughly, and eyed the horse.

"It appears steady, but it might throw us like its previous rider." she pointed out, unwilling to risk being tossed with her child strapped to her chest.

At that moment, the thick cloud which had been obscuring most of the moonlight blew away, and the full moon shone bright as sunrise. Talia had been petting the horse's nose, and found herself staring straight into the creature's brilliant blue eyes.

:Yes, at last, it's you. I Choose you. Out of all the world, out of all the seeking, I have found you, young sister of my heart! You are mine and I am yours and never again will there be loneliness.:

Talia felt a sudden shock of pure joy and acceptance. It was more than a feeling; it was a bone-deep understanding of a fundamental link which until this moment she hadn't known she lacked. Here was a piece of herself she never knew was missing. Her breath caught, and tears sprang to her eyes.

:And now,: the resonant mind-voice sounded regretful, :Forget. Forget until...:

Talia slammed her shields shut, briefly alarmed that she hadn't noticed them dropping when their eyes had met. Abruptly, she woke out of the haze of blue eyes and Choosing in which she had been caught and took a fast step backwards. Reflexively, she checked the hide-me and was relieved to note that it still wrapped Kalene surely.

"What do you mean, forget?" she demanded, voice shrilly. "And what did you mean by Choose?"

Something in her pointed out that she was talking to a horse, but with the memory of a ringing presence in her head, she couldn't find it in herself to be self-conscious about demanding answers from it. Gemna, entirely left out of the most recent events, made a noise of pure puzzlement.

"It talked to me. In my mind. Then tried to make me forget it. I want to know why." Talia said over her shoulder without taking her eyes off the horse-creature.

"What?!"

"I know. Yes." Talia agreed with an internal sigh.

The horse shook its mane, setting every tiny bell on its bridle to jangling. It took a step forward and nudged at her shields with a purely emotional request for trust, companionship. Oh, how that made Talia long to throw down her shields and immerse herself in the bond it offered, but she had not only herself to take care of, but Gemna and Kalene as well.

:You used Mindspeech before,: Talia pointed out, :I suggest you use it again to tell me what this "Choose you" means, and why you tried to make me forget about it.:

If it were possible for a horse to look surprised in a human manner, this one made a valiant attempt at it.

An image - a tempting image - of Talia astride the white horse, cantering effortlessly through the beautiful countryside, hair streaming in the wind and laughing was sent to her.

Talia raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

:That might have worked on me a year ago, but I'm perfectly aware now that life isn't that easy.: she pointed out tartly. :Words. Explanation.:

Another image was sent, of a kindly looking man in a room full of books, speaking to a thrilled-looking Talia, who was nodding along with his every word. An implication was included in the emotional undertone of the sending, that he would take her to people who would explain everything.

:Words!: Talia made her mindvoice intentionally grating. :You're not including Gemna in these sendings; am I supposed to leave her behind? You can't convince me like this. I don't like being seduced, I like explanations!:

Talia was vaguely aghast at herself. When did she become so mannish in her demeanor? No true Holderkin girlchild would ever demand anything like this from anyone, not even another girlchild.

It felt good. Talia was nearly drunk off the euphoria of her not-so-daring escape and the thrill of saying exactly what she wanted with no repercussions. It wasn't like this horse could force her onto its back, and she was fairly sure, even with Kalene, that she could climb a tree to get away from the animal if it proved obstinate.

A strong, strong mental sigh, tinged with something like pride.

:It isn't done this way.: that resonant voice complained, and Talia froze again. It seemed so unreal; a horse, with a mind and a voice!

:It's done this way now.: Talia retorted.

:Usually if someone doesn't know what Companion's Choice is, we suppress the memory of it and take them to Haven so the Heralds can explain. Not all Companions have strong Mindspeech like me. Most couldn't speak to you at all - you don't have mindspeech; only empathy.:

Talia snorted, aloud.

"What's going on?" Gemna whispered behind her.

"We're talking. In our heads." she explained absently to Gemna's obvious incredulity, then,

:I'm the one who initiated this conversation. With Mindspeech. I think I have more than a touch of it. What's Companion's Choice? Are you a Companion? A real one? Where's your Herald? Oh, Goddess; is your Herald injured? Do you need...:

:Peace.: the horse - Companion?! - sounded amused now. :I am a Companion. You are my Herald. Companions are compelled to seek out their Herald at some point in their life. I have been searching for you for months, and now I've found you.

:And you're right.: he sounded a little puzzled. :You are mindspeaking with your own ability. I did not expect you to have a secondary Gift, considering how strong your Empathy is.:

Talia was completely speechless. She gaped at the horse - her Companion! - for several long moments. Gemna nudged her.

"What's going on?" she demanded insistently. Talia was brought out of her reverie.

"This Companion says he's picking me to be his Herald." she sounded dazed.

"Can you talk about this while we go to the Guardpost?" Gemna was either unimpressed or covering her shock very well. "It's cold. I'm cold."

:Will you take us to the Guardpost?: Talia asked the Companion, who inclined his head.

:I can. However, there is a Waystation somewhat nearer than the Guardpost. We could rest there and proceed to the Guardpost in the morning. Why the Guardpost, though?:

:I met a Healer, once, who taught me to control my Gift. He said if I ever wanted to leave the Holdings, to go the Guardpost and he'd leave a purse and supplies there for me.: Talia responded as she climbed laboriously onto the Companion's back, discovering that mounting a horse was very difficult while holding a baby.

She checked her hide-me around Kalene once more while Gemna got on behind her. She would want to have far more information about what being a Herald would mean for her daughter and Gemna before she accepted, after all.

Talia pictured herself a year younger meeting a Companion, what she would have done, and what her reaction would have been. A year before, she knew, she would have flung herself onto the Companion and galloped away without a second thought.

But she had responsibilities now, and had been forced to learn to think through the consequences of every action. Being a Herald was a childhood dream come true, but Talia had long since ceased believing in childhood dreams.

As the Companion - Rolan, he introduced himself - took them to the Waystation with his impossibly smooth gait, Talia questioned him cautiously about Companions, what being a Herald meant, and what would be expected of her once they reached Haven.

His answers were vague on the details, and heavy with emotional undertones. There were wistfully happy scenes of Trainees in Gray having snowball fights and spirited class discussions. Heralds and Trainees wandering a peaceful, green field with their Companions, completely content. Friendly Healers waiting to Heal sprains, strains, and heartaches.

It was an attractive picture, but Talia mistrusted it. The night was growing colder and Talia was exhausted, so she decided to wait till morning to weasel the pure, unvarnished -and she was sure it would be much more bleak - truth out of him. Rolan. Possibly her Companion.

Talia managed to clean, feed, and tend Kalene without dropping her hide-me or arousing Rolan's suspicions, she thought, but Gemna was happily snoring by the time Talia was finally able to drop into one of the small bunks and close her eyes, Kalene sleeping on her chest peacefully.

Rolan woke them up early the next morning simply by rising to his feet inside the Waystation and making his hooves ring out against the floor. Talia, barely accustomed to functioning on the small amount of sleep that tending a three week old infant allowed, came awake all at once, mentally preparing herself to deal with Alessin, and reflexively checking the hide-me on Kalene. It had truly become second nature to keep her tiny child hidden as much as possible; Talia had distrusted the betrayed and resentful look in her deceased husband's eyes when he saw the baby.

Gemna, somewhat less paranoid and having spent much less time married to Alessin, woke up gradually, bleary eyed and yawning.

:We should make an early start.: Rolan sent to Talia eagerly. :We can leave Gemna at the Guardpost and be twenty leagues farther towards Haven by sunset.:

He looked at her expectantly. Talia laid Kalene in the nest of blankets and crossed her arms defiantly.

:I haven't agreed to go with you yet.: Nothing but pure, steely determination accompanied her words.

Rolan sent back nothing but shock and astonishment.

:Why do we have to leave Gemna behind?: she asked as a starting point.

:You're my Herald.: Rolan said matter-of-factly. :Gemna isn't. There's no point in her coming to Haven as well.:

:She's all alone in the world.: Talia flared, :We know nothing of how life works off a Holding, we have no practical life skills, she's three months pregnant, and only thirteen years old! I won't abandon her at a Guardpost - I'm responsible for her! That means she goes where I go. What do you do when someone you want to Choose has a child? Force them to leave them behind?:

Rolan was nearly stuttering in his mindspeech when he responded, something Talia hadn't known was even remotely possible. :Why is she your responsibility?: It was almost petulant.

:Our husband died, we were going to be sent to marry other men, and we didn't want to. I convinced her to leave with me, and I am - was - the Firstwife. I'm the only authority she has right now, and she doesn't know how to function without one.:

Rolan sputtered again. :Both of you had the same husband? And she's only thirteen?:

:That's the way life works on a Holding. My father had eleven wives, nine living when I wed Alessin, and at least forty or forty-five children. I don't know for certain.:

She had only thought that Rolan was shocked before. Now waves of incredulity were rolling off him. :Thirteen? Thirteen years old?:

:I was thirteen when I wed.: Talia pointed out implacably, reluctant for some reason to disclose that she herself was only one year older than that now.

Rolan visibly collected himself and his mindvoice became calmer.

:What do I have to say to covince you to come to Haven? I need you, Talia; Valdemar needs you.:

Gemna was very obviously ignoring the girl and horse staring at each other, as ignoring things was one of her greatest skills when faced with something uncomfortable or inexplicable. Talia decided to continue the conversation while being useful, and rose to help Gemna fix porridge.

:I want to have choices.: she sent fiercely after a moment of contemplation. :I've never had a single choice left to me in my life until I chose to run away. Now you're trying to take an entire lifetime of choices away from me. I want to know exactly what my life in Haven will entail. I want to know if Gemna or I will be in danger. I want to know...: she ran out of demands. :...everything!: she finished.

Rolan was silent for long moment, then buried her in a deluge of information. He sent it in a compacted ball of information, much like Rathis had done, and it unfolded in her head in a logical progression.

The origin of Companions; what Monarch's Own meant, and what it entailed; how the Collegium operated; Talamir's unexpected death - possibly murder - and the senior Heralds' suspicions that it had to do with Selenay's troubles with Elspeth.

Talia absorbed it all, letting it settle in her mind.

:We need you, Talia.: he finished. :Desperately. And I need you; you're my Chosen.: all the emotional aspects of that last word were bundled up along with it and given to her. Longing, a sense of completion now that he'd found her. Joy at her presence, and relief at touching her mind.

Talia rose and threw her arms around his neck.

:I still don't know why you picked me, but I'll go with you, dearheart.: she told him, relieved to be letting down her shields and permitting the nascent bond with him to spring to life. Relief and joy flowed along the bond from him; it turned to concern as Talia lapsed into somberness.

:What now?: he asked. Talia wrinkled her nose.

:We need a plan to keep Kalene safe.: she told him.

:Kalene?:

Talia padded across the room and picked up her daughter and turned back to Rolan. Theatrically, she dropped the hide-me, revealing the just-waking infant to the stunned Companion.