Disclaimer: Much to my dismay, Criminal Minds is not owned by me!
A/N:Here we go guys, this was on with the last chapter, but I decided to cut it down so it wouldn't be like a 6,000 word chapter =P And it bides me more time to get more updates ;)
Thanks as always, and enjoy!
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"You okay?" Derek asked as Penelope slipped her arm onto his. He felt her slowly dragging her feet and it finally kicked in how quick the effects of this were kicking in. After sitting with her for the rest of the duration for her chemo, she had listened to call Kevin and then they had sat and waited for his call. In between the end of the session and the arrival of her boyfriend, her body had finally tired to the extremes.
Penelope put her head to his shoulder, "Just tired," She yawned and spotted Kevin's old car. "He's here."
Derek felt her pull away, but Derek kept her close, "I don't think you have the energy to make it on your own, so let me just do this and then I can hand you over."
Feeling the smile pull on her lips, Penelope realised there was a reason why she loved this man so much However, the smile disappeared as upon opening the car door, Penelope was greeted as she was met with her boyfriend's defensive whine. Involuntarily she groaned out.
"What the hell is he doing here?" Kevin asked defensively. "I thought you went alone. Did you set this up because I wouldn't go with you?"
"Don't start," Penelope stopped him as Derek helped her into the passenger side of Kevin's car. "I'm tired; and I can't be bothered with it." She stopped him; she really didn't have it in her to take Kevin's nitpicking and whining on. She wanted him to just man up and realise that Derek was going to be a big part of her life, especially now.
"She just needed a little sidekick, Man. Hotch let me go from the case and I promised Pen that if she needed the support I'd be here. That's all, now you have to take her home and look after her," Derek told the other great guy in Penelope's life. He thought of the irony – if he were great he would be there every step of the way.
"Fine," Kevin whined and looked to Penelope, "Was it okay?"
"It was fine," Penelope told him blandly and looked to him with a small smile. She wasn't going to go into details when details weren't what he wanted to hear.
"See!" Kevin chirped in an I-told-you-so tone of voice. "I knew you'd be okay. You didn't need anyone there to do that. It's all down to you, Plum Sauce."
Penelope scoffed and looked up at Derek, "Thank you, Handsome, for today. I'll drop you a text later so you don't worry."
"Okay, Baby Girl," He said and leaned down to look at Kevin, "Get our girl home and look after her."
"On it," Kevin said and smiled as Derek closed the door. He couldn't lie, he felt hurt that Derek had been there, but he had dug this grave and now he had to live with it.
Looking to her best friend, she felt her heart sink a little as Kevin put his foot to the gas they drove away, leaving Derek behind on the sidewalk. It was like he had done his job and now he was discarded of completely.
Derek watched Kevin's old, worn down car drive off and he hated the sinking feeling in his chest. He didn't want her to go off with him, she deserved better. She deserved him, not Kevin 'wimp' Lynch. She needed strength and courage and she needed a man that would mingle both of her worlds together and make her feel positive and empowered.
Walking towards his car, Derek guessed he would just have to suck it up and be her best friend and noir hero.
Exactly how Penelope loved him to be.
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As soon as he had gotten her home, Kevin had put her to bed. He had tried to get her to eat, even stay up for meal and movie, but all she wanted was to sleep. Respecting her wishes, he helped her change into her pyjamas and then he went downstairs.
In his house knowing she was upstairs, he felt extremely lonely.
He kept checking the time, and realised that he couldn't just sit around and feel like this, so he took himself upstairs and joined Penelope in bed. Crawling in next to her, he felt a sense of adoration creep over him as she sought out his arms for comfort. With her asleep on him, he closed his eyes, placed a kiss on her forehead and went to sleep.
It didn't seem real when he felt Penelope push away from him and bolt for the bathroom. It was still dark out and he was disorientated from the rude wake up. He had an inkling of what had happened, but he had no idea as to what to do.
Penelope threw up the moment she was near enough to the toilet and rested before she felt the next urge to bring up the contents of her stomach. The more she retched the more the pull came on her stomach and she felt all the more pathetic. She rested against the toilet for a moment before the convulsion in her stomach occurred again. She knew if this carried on then she would start bringing up pure bile. She had hardly eaten all day and now she was throwing up. This wasn't destined to end well.
"Penny!" Kevin called out to her sleepily, "You okay?"
Am I okay? Penelope's mind asked her and the only response she had for him was to just throw up all over again. No! She wasn't okay! If anything Penelope wanted to sit and cry at how awful she was feeling so suddenly. Sure she had been warned that the first chemo session would be gruelling, but she thought her body might have cut some slack and allowed her to gain some strength before this kick started.
After feeling her body calm and her stomach settle, Penelope got up shakily, flushed the loo and grabbed a glass of water. Going into the bedroom, she fell onto the bed face firstand was instantly asleep, only just feeling Kevin's hand rub her back comfortingly.
Her sleep didn't last long as she felt herself need to throw up again. This time the urge wasn't as urgent and she grabbed her phone as she went. When she stood she felt worse than before, her head now pounding and her body shook a little. Sliding down the wall by the toilet she used her foot to kick the door shut and put her head back to the wall waiting on the nausea to stop.
Checking her cell, she realised that she had a messages from Derek. She smiled as she read them and got to the final one. 'I'm hoping the silent treatment is you resting up, BG x'
-I was, not anymore I'm afraid, Hot Stuff xx
'Now you wake up? At nearly 3am? x
-Why are you even up? xx
'Uh uh, Doll face, I asked first x
-Sickness... Mamma feels like crap xx
Penelope awaited a text back, but her phone started ringing. "Hey," She whispered down the phone to him. How was she supposed to not love a man that continued to put her above everything in life? How did she try to deny her heart what it called? Especially when her boyfriend was sleeping in the other room.
It was as she sat alone, in the middle of the night, her best friend on the other end of the line that she realised just how quickly she had fallen out of love with Kevin. That was a prospect just as scary as being told you had cancer.
"Hey yourself," Derek responded lightly. "I'm guessing that because you answered Kevin's not up."
"Nope," Penelope responded, "I don't think he calls the bathroom a perfect sleeping ground."
"But you do?" Derek quipped, and Penelope could almost see Derek said with a quizzical look on his face, one eyebrow cocked up, giving her that same questioning look that beat it out of her every time.
"Safer to befriend the toilet," Penelope tried to joke. "I woke him up already running for here earlier. I feel bad as it is; I don't wanna feel guilty too."
"Has it gotten that bad?" Derek asked her cautiously. He could hear it in her voice just how ill she was feeling all of a sudden and he could feel his restraint to stay where he was when he knew she was feeling sick and now she was feeling bad for hurting her boyfriend's feelings. He felt a bubble of anger pop within her as he thought to Kevin – The man should be there!
"With Kevin or with the side effects?" Penelope asked back a little hesitant as she put her head to wall and closed her eyes.
"Both," Derek said back warily to her.
Penelope smiled, "They coincide," She mocked and yawned heavily. "I think I need to try and sleep a bit more."
"Sounds a plan," Derek responded, "Think Kevin will actually step up and help you out? I mean, because right now I want to push him out and take over, Baby Girl. I just need to know he's going to start taking better care of you." Derek teased, "More importantly, do you think he'd mind if I came over tomorrow?"
"If he does then I'll threaten to erase his history," Penelope sarcastically said. "You both want what's best for me so I don't see it being an issue."
"Well text me in the morning, let me know how you slept," Derek demanded lovingly. "Okay?"
"Got it. Await my call, mere mortal," She teased lightly. "Night, Handsome," Penelope told him and smiled, "I love you, thank you for today."
"All in a days work," He batted the attention away. "Love you too, Baby," He replied, "Sleep tight."
Ending the call, Penelope just lay down, lavishing the coolness of the floor and closed her eyes, not seeing the text flash up on her screen - 'Remember, good or bad, I'll always love you, BG. You're my little fighter xx'
Kevin woke up to the same empty bed, Penelope's side stone cold. Getting up, he saw the bathroom door slightly ajar.
When he went in and found her asleep on the bathroom floor, her phone clasped in her hand he knew exactly who was keeping her company. He grabbed the phone and saw she had message, reading it, his heart clenched fiercely for a moment. Sighing, he put the phone on the side and went into his bedroom, grabbed Penelope's favourite blanket and a pillow and went into the bathroom.
He noticed she had the shivers, but when he touched her she was hot. Putting the blanket on her and placing the pillow under her head he pushed some hair back and knew he was breaking already.
It was supposed to be an excuse, but really he didn't want to see Penelope in a hospital getting chemotherapy, because he didn't want this to be real. He was in denial, and being like that was costing him everything – even his sanity. Detaching from the reality of it all, he kept his mind set on it being any other day in their semi-normal lives. One where there was no cancer or no potential threat where Penelope's life was endangered by an illness.
For once, he wondered if 'the get out' Penelope had offered would have been better for everyone, Instead of subjecting her to this relationship any longer. He knew he loved her and she loved him, but he just couldn't offer her the solace she was after.
Kevin knew right away, as he lay awake feeling helpless, that he would not get used to this lifestyle.
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