Bright lights were burning into Tobias's closed eyes. He wasn't sure were he was, but he got the feeling something was happening, something important. He could hear voices over his head, a man and woman arguing about child custody. Suddenly he knew what was happening, he was on TV just like he dreamed; a day time soap opera how wonderful! Grinning like the Cheshire cat he prepared himself mentally for his upcoming performance.
XXXX
Michael Bluth was hanging from a bungee cord that was painfully riding up his uhh, well anyway he was uncomfortable and incontinently stuck. Swinging back and forth, it really didn't help that GOB was laughing at him in front of the world. And yes I mean the world, TV. crews from 4 different stations were surrounding the burned out remains of the Bluth building, with the president swinging 10 feet in the air helpless to get down. This was by far one of Michael's worse ideas…
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"What are you kids doing here, should you two be at work?" Lucille faked interest while pouring another Martini
"Work, I think you mean school Gangy" corrected George Michael
"Yeah right there" Sniffs her martini, then starts drinking vodka straight out the bottle
"School, How could be at school at a time like this? The company's burned; Uncle Buster and my dad are in the hospital…" Dramatized Maeby
"Well that isn't as bad as Michael embarrassing us publicly" retorted Lucille
"My dad's embarrassing you, how?" Asked a very timid George Michael
"See for your self!" Grabbing the remote Lucille tried turning on the fake TV
"Why isn't this thing working?" Shaking the remote around in annoyance
"Um, that's not a real TV Gangy, here the kitchen TV works." Maeby got up and turned on the small portable TV
"And in recent news another bad day for the Bluth's, as it appears after the building burned Lindsey Bluth was arrested on charges of indecent exposure…"
"What the, oh god she is humiliating me!" cried Maeby jumping to her feet and running upstairs
"I thought you said my dad was the embarrassment?" George Michael was having a hard time focusing on his question, since he was watching Maeby's receding back.
"Well he did embarrass us, it just hasn't come on yet"
2 stories and 5 commercials later there was a brief mention of Michael Bluth hanging in mid-air from a botched rescue mission to save his brother and sister. Only GOB and Lindsey had already escaped the fire by climbing down a tree. Which had torn off Lindsey's shirt and bra in the branches; only she didn't know it until being arrested at the bottom of the tree. Everyone was so distracted by Lindsey's free show the crane operator went to see for himself; Leaving Michael swinging ten feet in the air, feeling very stupid and not too happy.
"Now just think of the impact this news would have had on you if, it had been on right when we had first turned on the TV!" Taunted Lucille to George Michael
Going up stairs George Michael could not believe this day, what had started out so great had warped into something unimaginable. He wanted to comfort Maeby about her mom, hell he wanted to just be near her, but was nervous after what had happened after Buster had seen them….
flashback
"What are you kids doing in there?" Buster peered into the stair car window perplexed
"What, no nothing; nothing at all!" squeaked George Michael finding it hard to talk
"It looked like you two were up to some funny business" Ventured Buster slowly
Maeby looked from her right to left, George Michael on one side Buster on the other.
"What are you two doing here?" Buster loved impersonating law and order detectives
"What are you, doing here?" Shot back Maeby defensively
"Well I was just hit by a car, and you two trouble makers?" Buster was getting a rush feeling like an adult.
And that's when it happened George Michael could barely believe his eyes, right when he thought they were busted, Maeby reacted: Slamming her car door into Buster so hard he fell to the ground.
"Drive, drive!" Yelled Maeby as George Michael quickly complied
They had spent the day hiding in the secret room talking about pointless things, Maeby had come out when she heard Lucille arrive, and making sure Lucille knew nothing from Buster before giving George Michael the okay to come out too.
XXXX
And now here he was standing in front of their bedroom door fist raised to knock; he froze listening, hand beside his ear. What was that noise coming from inside? Lowering his hand he covers the door knob with his fingers, slowly begins turning, hears the pins rise and click admittance. Could it be what he thinks he's hearing Maeby say, no time like now to find out…
XXX
Lying right beside Tobias watching Jerry Springer was Buster. He rather enjoyed hospital stays and planned on making this his permanent home, somewhere away from mother.
Sucking orange jello through a crazy straw, having 'his own place' cable, and room service; what more was there to life? Believing the sicker he appeared the longer he could stay Buster worked extra hard to appear ill. Even going so far as sticking an ice cube in his ear, so when the doctor checked his temperature he would be as cold as he looked. He was going to put a heated marble in his ear but found it too painful to grasp let alone insert it in. The only bad thing about Buster's new home was that his bed was right between Tobias's and Berry Zuckercorn's. Occasionally Berry would mutter profanity, but what was most interesting was Tobias, when he would yell out about being a single mother in the hood doing the best should could… It really wasn't Berry or Tobias that made it uncomfortable since they both were unconscious; it was their frequent guest, they seemed to always visit when no one was around. Several strange looking women, that were too tall or a little too hairy for comfort. Some would come in to thank Tobias for his book, "The man inside me" other would come to threaten Berry for not paying them. All in it, Buster wasn't sure how they were getting in, since none appeared to be relatives….?
"Save them with the company's bungee crane says kitty. Why do we have a company bungee crane, you might ask because GOB thought it would be cool for a flying trick, which he of course charged on the company account. Why couldn't I have used the company helicopter you ask, because Lindsey traded it for a fur coat! And of course I look foolish publicly, but I'm also heckled personally for trying my best to save two or the most un-grateful people alive! I am sick and tired of looking stupid for these people, never again!" Declared Michael slamming his beer onto the table feeling revived after letting out his outrage; only to pass out shortly after, and have his wallet stolen by the man sitting next to him.
