Title: Journey to Silent Hill

A/N: I know its been like forever since I have updated this chapter. I'm glad you all are enjoying this. I have nothing else to say in here other than keep those reviews coming! And Darkcomet you get your butt in gear and finish that Silent Hill 4 parody young man or no dessert! Okay, lets go shall we?

Disclaimer: I don't own Silent Hill...well duh!

Warning: crude humor, some mild violence, crazy rantings, language, and all out OOCness.

Before I know it I get hit in the head by a flying tic tac while I am sleeping...

Me: Ow! DAMMIT! (look around sleepily) huh what is...OH CRAP! THAT CUTE BABY PYRAMID HEAD SEQUEL!!!! CRAP CRAP CRAP!

Me: Sorry it took so long...

Walter: About damn time woman!

Me: Shut up!

Where we last left our heroes they had recieved a distress call from Peter that something is eating his people in Silent Hill and his dad is too injured to protect them so he hires some of the characters from various Silent Hill games to check it out and destroy the monster. But in the story (somewhere around chapter two I think) Richard eats a strange mushroom and starts hallucinating thinking he is back in 'Nam or something and shooting tic tacs at his own friends.

Everyone has scattered off and are seperated.

Lets see how this goes...

Walter, Eileen, and Peter are hiding behind wrecked cars. Vincent, Claudia, Henry, and Maria run off while Harry, James, and Frank try to talk Richard down.

Frank: Richard! This is Frank! Lay off the drugs and put down the tic tacs!

James: Yeah Richard listen to daddy, he knows what he is talking about!

Frank Yeah...wait...(turns to James) What?

James: Remember dad, on my fifteenth birthday you took a whole packet of mints and started freaking out?

Frank: James its not the same thing...those were spiked after dinner mints.

James: Oh...once again...how many times do I have to apoligize for it!?

Frank: Until the day I die!

James: (takes out his pistal but Harry waves his hands back and forth mouthing the words "no" at him) Huh, what was that, you know I can't read lips-

BANG!

James, being a moron that he is, forgets to put the safety on and accidently shoots his dad in the foot.

Frank: AHHHHHHHHHHH! OH MY GOD THAT FUCKING HURTS! (falls to the ground in pain) I AM BLEEDING! YOU MORON, YOU SHOT YOUR OWN FATHER!

James: (panicky) Why are you yelling at me daddy?! T.T

Harry looks up and sees that Richard has disappeared, concluding that the sound of James's gun chased him off he wraps one arm around Frank's waist and pulls him up to his feet with the other arm over his shoulder. (if you have ever been in first aide class you know what I am talking about) Frank hissed in pain when he pressed down on his right foot, the one that had a bullet hole in it, and nearly collasped over Harry.

Frank: This is is...I am dead...go on without me...tell my second wife...I love her...

James: And me daddy? What about me?

Frank: Harry...tell my son...he is going to hell...

James: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! (cries like a baby)

Harry: Dont be so melodramatic Frank there is Brookhaven Hospital just up ahead its only a ten minute walk.

Frank: (brightens up) Oh really? Well then how convient! Lets go Harry!

Harry resumes standing Frank up again like before being careful this time not to have Frank bare his weight down on his bad foot and proceeds to escourt him towards the hospital for medical help. James puts away his gun once again forgetting to put the safety on and puts it in his jacket pocket making it blow a hole in it. But being a dumb-ass he dosen't even notice and runs over to his dad and friend to catch up.

James: Wait for me!

A couple of miles up ahead...

Frank: (looks over to see his son waving) Oh shit, move faster Harry, move faster!

Harry: Why, is Richard or that monster following us?

Frank: Worse, its my son!

Harry: O.O CRAP! (starts to move as fast as he can holding a invalid)

Meanwhile..

Walter led Eileen and Peter safely into the bowling alley (you know the one I am talking about: the one that you leave Maria outside and you see Eddie and Laura talking) where it was very dark and empty. Eileen put Peter down and allowed him to explore while she tried on the lights. But the electricity for some reason was crappy in Silent Hill and so they had to find candles and light them to see in the dark.

Eileen: Don't wander off too far now Peter

Peter: (somewhere among the lanes) Yes mommy Eileen!

Eileen and Walter took a seat at the tables.

Eileen: (giggles) You know...all these candles are sort of romantic...don't you think so Walter?

Walter: Actually, they remind me that I should really start working on the '21 Sacrements' by now, I have to stop putting it off.

Eileen: (sighs) Uh, since you and me are...well...going out...making me into your mother might be a big deal

Walter: Oh, how so?

Eileen: Well, its just that...that...dosen't it bother you that you are dating a woman that you want to be posessed by the spirit of your dead mom?

While they are talking, Peter is down in the lanes pushing the bowling balls through the gutters.

Walter: Technically Eileen, you are posessed by that of the room not mother herself.

Eileen: (takes out the Silent Hill 4 manuel) Nooo, I am pretty sure that its the spirit of the mother...I mean, don't get me wrong, I am happy we are sharing each other's hobbies its just that this may be alot like incest.

Walter: (reaches out and takes her hand) Well, I am glad you are taking a interest in my hobby, I helped you sponser "Nudist Day" even though that really didn't work, but it dosen't mean anything is going to change sweetie...

A/N: Ah god this is getting boring! Lets switch to someone else shall we?

Somewhere Else in Silent Hill...

Henry, Claudia, Vincent, and Maria have reached Sunnyview Apartment and go in.

Henry: Hello...is anyone here?

Maria: Uh, what do you think moron? This town is full of monsters, I am sure that-

A cancer family appears (a family of cancer monsters I should say) from the shadows waving to thier new friends. Its a mom and dad with three little cancer babies tagging along.

Cancer dad: Hi, isn't a little dangerous for you humans to be out there when a monster is attacking and eating everything in sight...come inside you must be hungry after your long trip.

Vincent: (excitedly pushes Henry aside) That would be great! I am starving!

Cancer mom: Well, come with us, we've just about finished setting the table but I am sure we can make room for a few guests. Bobby, Darla, and Ray will you go upstairs and get the extra chairs from the storage closet?

Bobby, Darla, and Ray: Okay mommy! (they huddle up the stairs)

Claudia: Awww, how sweet!

Maria: (thinking) My street woman's intuition tells me that something is not right...perhaps could they...be the ones that we are looking for?

The cancer family was too nice...way too nice...and that didn't sit well with her. From her years watching horror movies and being chased down by them. She knew that if a family of monsters invite you over for dinner, than that usually meant they were going to have you for dinner and not as a guest per say. She tried to tell Henry who seemed to be the most sane out of the whole bunch or at least, the group that she was in right now.

Maria: (whispers into Henry's ear) I have a bad feeling about this

Henry: (whispers back) What do you mean, they seem very friendly, nicer than the pack of monsters I had to deal with in Ashfield.

Maria: (hushed voices)Yeah but...wait, what do you mean other monsters, there were monsters in Ashfield?

Henry: (hushed voice)Yeah...didn't Eileen tell you?

Maria: (hush voice) I just thought she meant douchebag men.

Henry: (normal voice) Hey! I would watch that if I were you that is offensive!

Maria: Oh my god you're a douchebag?

Cancer Mom: Please dont say that word around the children

Henry and Maria: Sorry...

Vincent: Can we pleeeeeeeaaaasssssseeeeee go up to your guys' place now I am starving!

Cancer Mom: Oh right...we better hurry before dinner gets cold...come along now.

Vincent: Yay! (he runs up the stairs to the third floor where the baby cancers are setting up the chairs)

Cancer monster Mom and Dad lead the rest of them up the stairway. Henry and Maria are walking behind them still whispering to each other. The prostitute still has a bad feeling about attending a Silent Hill monsters' family dinner.

Henry: (whispers to Maria) By the way, I didn't mean I was a douchebag, I meant that would hurt Vincent's feelings if he overheard you.

Maria: Oh...right...

The Bowling Alley

As Eileen and Walter were talking about 'couple stuff' they suddenly heard a clank and a baby squeal coming from the lanes. They turns thier heads and only to see that poor little Peter, who was being courious as to where the balls went after they disappeared down the lane, had poked his head in there and unfortunely the machine that puts down new pins after the others had been knocked down fell on his cone-shaped metal head and made him stuck. Now all they could see was his bottom half sticking out of Lane number 4 wiggling around terrified.

Peter: MOMMMY! MOMMMY! MOMMMMY! HEEELLLLLLPPPP!

Eileen: PETER! (she rushes over to Lane 4) Oh no he has gotten his cone stuck in something again!

Peter: (crying) I AM SCWAREDS!

Eileen: No sweetie...you mean 'scared' you are scared...'scwareds' is not even a word...

Peter: (wiggling frantically) HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP!

Eileen: Okay okay! (grabs Peter's waist and tries to pull him towards her but he dosen't budge) Dammit! This is just like when you got your head stuck in that hole in the bathroom wall!!!

Walter: (over Peter's wailing) What do we do?

Eileen: (lets go of Peter and pushes on the pin pusher thingy) its stuck in there good, I know, we will slick him out...too bad we have no shortening though...Walter find something wet and slippery we can use to get him out with...hurry!

Peter: HURRY UNCLE WALTER IT SMELLS LIKE CHEESY NACHOS IN HERE!

TBC

Oh no! Will they get Peter out? Will he learn how to pronounce 'Scared' properly (like Eileen has any room to talk; when you are paired up with her in the game and she goes through her posessed moments she belts out "I am scrwared" like a little child that is where I get that joke from) and will Maria's suspicions be founded. Oh, and what happed to Heather?

I want to say find out next time but instead I should say I will have the next chapter up as soon as I can. Til then enjoy my other fanfictions (some non-SH ones) and let me know what you think. Good bye for now!