A/N: I AM SO SORRY FOR TAKING THIS LONG TO UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have absolutely no reason as to explain why I haven't updated when I had two chapters up for reading, I've just been swamped with school and family and all that. So to make it up, I'm posting both chapters and am gonna hopefully get another chapter up ASAP!!!
Tommy woke up Monday morning, noticing that the little girl was still asleep. They've been having a sort of rocky first month getting to know each other. The little girl still wasn't used to seeing Tommy everyday, and Tommy wasn't used to being any sort of family member, at least not anymore. Tommy cracked open the little girl's bedroom door slightly, she was cuddled up in her favorite blanket, hugging her teddy bear and sucking her thumb. Tommy couldn't help but smile at the image. He walked down stairs and into the kitchen. He put in a mix CD he had made a few weeks before and the first track was 'Banana Pancakes' by Jack Johnson.
The smell of pancakes filled the house, and the little girl heard the soft sounds of the acoustic guitar. She unwrapped herself from her blanket and stretched a little bit before getting out. When she reached the foot of the stairs she could hear Tommy singing along with the song and doing silly dance moves. The little girl let out a small giggle, which caused Tommy to turn around and smile warmly at her.
"Why, good morning Alicia," Tommy said flipping one of the pancakes and placing it on the plate.
"Good morning," Alicia said standing still.
"You can go ahead and sit down, I'm making pancakes," Tommy took out her Disney Princesses plate and started placing two very small pancakes on it.
"Oh tay," she said hopping on one of the chairs. Tommy buttered her pancakes and poured some syrup on them before placing it on the table in front of her. When Tommy brought his pancakes with him to the table, Alicia decided it'd be time to start talking. "Did you...um...sing stuff?"
"You mean did I sing in Toronto?" Tommy asked.
"Yeah!" Alicia said with a wide smile.
"A long time ago I did. Before you were born," Tommy replied. "Orange juice?"
"Yes pease!" Alicia exclaimed. Tommy was surprised at how much she was already able to speak, he had a hard time talking to her a little, forgetting she was only three. "Tommy?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you really my brother?" Alicia asked.
"Yep,"
"Then how come...you didn't used to live here?" Alicia said, swallowing two pieces of pancake at once.
"I thought it was time for me to start a life of my own. Mommy had already taught me so many things and took care of me," Tommy added.
"Then how come you didn't come to visit?"
"I didn't have enough time," Tommy said sadly finishing his pancakes.
"Are you going to have enough...to take care of me?"
Tommy looked at her with loving eyes and rubbed Alicia's back in small circles. "Of course I am, you're stuck with me forever now kiddo, you aren't getting rid of me so fast,"
Alicia smiled back at him and continued to finish her pancakes.
Sadie was making herself a cup of coffee when she saw her father sitting at the kitchen table, the same solemn look on his face since he had told Jude the truth about who she was. Sadie sighed and took a seat on the empty chair next to her dad.
"Jude's ok, Dad," Sadie said rubbing her father's back in comforting circles.
"I hope she doesn't hate me. I should have told her sooner, your mother and I should have," Stuart said rubbing his eyes and then looking back down on the table.
"It's going to be ok, Jude is coming back. I'm not sure when, we just need to give Jude her space and her time right now," Sadie added.
"I just really wish your mother hadn't left. Me and her aren't exactly friends, I know, but she could have at least left after we both told Jude," Stuart mentioned.
"I think she deserves to know," Sadie said.
"Who?"
"Mom,"
"There's no way to get a hold of her Sadie,"
"Next time she calls. You should tell her that Jude knows now," Sadie stated.
"Yeah, I should. Next time she calls," and the phone started to ring.
Sadie looked at her father and got up to answer the phone. "Hello?"
"Sadie it's me, Jude," she said into her cell phone.
"Jude? Hey, how are things going?" Sadie asked.
"It's good, I'm at a small inn in Ohio now, right outside the city of Columbus, I'm just calling to give you guys an update," Jude was sitting at the table of the inn eating breakfast.
"That's good, are you liking the states?"
"Heh, it's no Europe," Jude remarked.
"Yeah, um, do you want to talk to Dad?" Sadie whispered into the phone.
"Yeah, is he there?" Jude hesitated a little but decided she should.
"Alright here he is," Sadie covered the phone and called Stuart over. He looked at Sadie surprised and then walked over and grabbed the phone. "Uh, um. Hello?"
"Dad, it's me," Jude said a little nervously.
"I know, Jude I'm-"
"I know, really sorry. It's ok, I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye to you when I left. But everything was just so-"
"You don't need to explain Jude. I know that usually the parent is supposed to be angry right now, but I'm just glad you are ok. I really wish you had taken someone with you," Stuart was tapping on the counter.
"I needed to do this alone Dad. I don't know if you've noticed, but I've just been so, un-me like, and I needed this," Jude said playing with her food.
"I have noticed pumpkin. I just didn't want this to happen,"
"I know, but it needed to. I needed to get out and think, everything was just getting to be too much and I couldn't be there anymore. Please try and understand Dad. I don't know when I'll be back, I still have a lot to find out once I get to California, so, in about a week or so I should have an idea of when I'll be back," Jude explained.
"Alright sweetie, be careful, and be safe on the road. Some Americans are known to be horrible drivers," Stuart said protectively.
"I know, I know. I love you Dad," Jude said.
"Love you too, bye,"
"Bye,".
Jude finished up her food and left enough for the check and walked out of the inn. The sky was cloudy and a little chilly out. She took in a deep breath, smelling the rain in the air, and then walked to her car and started on her route again. It only took about fifteen minutes until Jude was finally driving the streets of Columbus, Ohio. And she couldn't help but love the look of the downtown area.
Jude pulled over to another small Inn and checked in.
There is no way I'm going to be driving for 3 days straight...
Jude flopped onto the bed of the room she paid for, and drifted off into an hour's worth of sleep. When she did finally wake up, she decided to go look around downtown Columbus, Ohio instead of just driving right through it. Jude grabbed her messenger bag, cell phone, and wallet and was out the door.
For once, I'm going to explore town the old fashioned way, walking. Ever since Dad and I got that Mustang working, I've been driving like there's no tomorrow, and right at this moment, walking sounds better than sitting on my ass again. And because I'm so stupid with short distances and can become easily lost, I'm only going to walk within the next couple blocks or else I'll never find my way back to that Inn.
Jude walked down the street and found herself at a small low key shopping center. It was filled with small shops with music, coffee, clothes, gifts, perfumes, everything. Jude walked into the first shop she saw, which was a clothing store. It was filled with original designs she had never seen before. The shirts looked more like sophisticated splattered paint canvases than actual designs. But there was one shirt that had caught her eye. It looked like it was papier mashay, and on the right sleeve was a newspaper picture of her performing. Jude let a grin slip and she pulled the shirt off the wrack and looked at it more. All over it were pictures of different newspaper clippings of different artists and bands. Jude hugged the shirt for a little and then walked up to the young woman working at the counter and put the shirt down.
"Hi, is this all for today?" the employee asked.
"Yeah, I saw that shirt and immediately thought I had to get it," Jude said as she took out her credit card and handed it to the woman. The woman looked at the name on the card and then at Jude, and then at the picture of her on the sleeve.
"Oh, I'm not getting it to be conceited or anything, it's more of a memento than something I'd actually wear. But don't get me wrong, I'd totally wear it if...and now I am rambling like an idiot," Jude proclaimed as she stopped herself before she gave the lady a head ache.
"Heh, it's alright really, I totally understand. I hope you enjoy your time here in Columbus," the worker said handing Jude her card and a bag with the shirt in it.
"Thanks, I hope so too," Jude said, but the woman stopped her before she started to walk out.
"Um, do you mind if I ask you for a favor?"
"Uh, what's the favor first?" Jude asked with a questioning glance.
The lady pulled out her shirt which was exactly like the one Jude had bought and laid it on the counter, "Do you mind signing it for me? I'm a big fan..."
"Yeah, no problem. You got a sharpie?" Jude asked leaning in towards the counter.
The woman nearly squealed as she handed Jude the sharpie. "What's your name?" Jude asked.
"Jenny," the employee said excitedly.
Jenny,
It was nice to meet you in Columbus, I wish you the best with everything you do, and the shirt kicks ass,
xoxo
Jude Harrison :)
"There ya go, bye," Jude said as she waved and walked out of the shop and on to the next. As Jude walked down the street and stopped in front of a vintage record shop. Inside were all sorts of records from the 50's, up until now. Jude bit her bottom lip, pushed the door open and walked inside. All over the walls were posters of different musical artists, and the ceiling was covered with old record covers.
"You from around here?" the young man asked walking towards Jude who was admiring the ceiling.
Jude looked around and then back in the direction of where she heard the voice. She gave a small grin and then began to speak. "Um, no actually. Just passing through."
"Well, what's a successful instant star doing here in the small unknown shopping center of downtown Columbus, Ohio?" he asked, Jude looked down then back at him, obviously not wanting to talk.
"Am I that recognizable?" Jude asked opening her arms out as to gesture at herself.
"Only to someone who lives off of the music scene. Are you up to answering my question?"
"Would being sick of answering that question wherever I go be an answer?" Jude rebutted with sarcasm.
"Ouch, so-called angry rock chick has got some bite," he responded feigning a pain in his chest.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Jude asked growing slightly annoyed with the employee.
"It just means I'm not buying what you're putting out there,"
"And what exactly is that?"
"The whole, 'I'm a bad ass and drink everywhere I go. I can kick your ass if I wanted to' image. Your music screams something totally different," the man pointed out.
"Well then, would you look at that. At least one person is catching on to that then," Jude said under her breath, but loud enough for him to hear as she walked towards one of the racks of records.
"Ok, now you've lost me. What are you talking about? Isn't that your way of attracting your fans? Being a wannabe and then making them buy some music that's really just about a mature teenager who just grew up in the course of one year?"
"You need to get your facts straight. As does a lot of music fans who are on the outside looking in. What is shown in tabloids and magazines of me, are lies. I do not party, I do not kick people's asses, and I sure as hell don't want to be a bad ass. When I got into this business, all I wanted to do was make great music that could change people's lives. But I had no idea I'd pay this big of a price. Now, you want to know how real musicians are, listen to their music. Well, the ones who write their own music, and then you'll know who they are," Jude explained pointedly and started to rummage through the racks of records.
The young man was startled with what he had heard. His whole life he knew the industry could force people into what they wanted their audience to believe, but he had always thought there was say between the artist and the industry. Now he had just been proved wrong.
"Sorry for judging you like that," he murmured leaning against the end of the rack.
"You were just feeding off the lies the media tells you, it's not your fault," Jude added still flipping through more records.
"Well, after that lovely discussion, I guess I'll go employee customer on you and ask, can I help you with anything?" he asked a little stupidly.
"Oh man! You guys have this record!? My-" Jude stopped herself mid-sentence at the sound of dad coming out of her mouth. She knew he was her Dad, he did indeed raise her. But it was just so weird thinking how someone who knew her so well, wasn't her actual biological dad.
"Your what?" the man asked looking at the record.
"My um, my dad has been looking for this record ever since I can remember. It's not very common where I live," Jude said holding the record and admiring it a bit more.
"Oh well, it's not common here either. That's the first time I had ever seen that record before, first time it's ever been in this store. But wow, that's quite a price for it," he mentioned.
"I gotta get this for him. He's gonna be so excited that he could add this to his collection," Jude said walking over to the counter. She paid and the two said goodbye and Jude left. Even though the two cleared whatever it was up, she didn't want to stay in there much longer. Jude walked down a couple more streets, watching as everyone either walked in a group or pair.
There was never a time I had felt so alone. Not even when Tommy had left. When Tommy left, I had known even then that at least I would still be me. Now, walking down those streets, I felt as if even what used to be me is gone. I felt like a shell of who I used to be. There was no way everything could be the way it was. Now with so much that has happened, with Tommy gone, and me finding out what I had known about myself was a lie, there was no way I could find someone who had related to me.
Jude sat down on a bench in front of a small cafe. She heard the small pats of when the human palm hits the drums, and the acoustic guitar jump from chord to chord making smooth transitions. The voice that held the words and brought the ears of the people who weren't so intuned with music had molded in with the beautiful sounds. Jude walked towards the entrance and stood at it for a moment and watched as the young woman sang her song.
I hadn't ever heard something so beautiful. It wasn't my style of music, but it hit a nerve in a me. It was such a pretty song. I couldn't help but fall in with the music and feel as if it had always been missing.
"It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
It doesn't matter if I cry
Don't matter if I bleed
Feel the sting of tears
Falling on this space you left
For years..."
The song ended and the whole cafe applauded as the young woman bowed and left the stage. She walked up to the counter and grabbed a cup of coffee and then was headed for the door, with her notebook tight in her arms and her guitar strapped on her back.
"Hey!" Jude said to her just before she was about to walk right past her.
"Um, yeah?" the woman said confused.
"I uh, I wanted to say that was great, your song in there. Are you with a label?" Jude asked not sure what she hoped her response would be.
"I'm not into the whole label thing," the woman responded, immediately thinking Jude was trying to offer her a deal.
"Oh, I'm not a record representative or anything. I was just hoping where I could get that song you played tonight. I really liked it and was hoping I could put it on my ipod," Jude explained.
"Oh, here," she said reaching into her bag and pulling out a copy of her music. "It's got about 10 songs of mine on there. Track 3 is 'It Doesn't Matter', the song I just played,"
"Thanks, I hope you have a good night," Jude said turning to walk away before the woman stopped her.
"Tara Reynolds," she said holding out her hand.
"Jude Harrison," Jude replied shaking her hand.
"Jude Harrison, huh? Instant star. How's that going for ya?" she asked.
"Can't say I'm ecstatic, record labels can be a pain in the ass," Jude replied as the two walked down the street.
"Yeah they can, gotta say though, don't take this the wrong way, I am not your biggest fan," Tara admitted bluntly.
"Eh, that's ok. Can't please everyone," Jude added kicking a rock that was in her way.
"Ah, you're not like all those wannabe artists who HAVE to please everybody," Tara stated.
"Nope, I'm me, don't like it, don't by my cd. Simple as that," Jude remarked shoving her hands in her pockets.
"You lost your music didn't you?" Tara asked with a know-it-all grin.
"Are you a mind reader or something?" Jude asked with a laugh at the end.
"Nope, but I've been playing around the cafe's and open mics around here for a while to know a beginner, amateur, and pro. You Miss Harrison, are on the brink of goin' pro," Tara remarked.
"What do you mean? I won Instant Star, I was better than everyone there," Jude mentioned now becoming confused.
"Well duh, you did more than just shake your ass and sing three notes. But that's not what a pro does. A pro breaks through all the forces blocking that thing deep down in you that's holding you back. Once you get there, and face what's holdin' you back, you can write freely. You're facin' that thing right now," Tara explained pointing to Jude's heart.
"So you're a pro?" Jude said with an eye brow raised.
"Well, I'm not a self-proclaiming one who's conceited. But with what everyone's responses are, to all the deals I've been offered, and still get offered, I can't say I'm an amateur," Tara said in a not-to-brag tone.
"Nice, so why don't you sign on with a label?" Jude asked curiously.
"I don't wanna be tied down. I get what you're trying to do, get your voice out there, do what you love and what not. But I'd rather just play small places around here, get paid when I need it, and then write what I want when I want," Tara answered.
"Makes sense," Jude stated.
"So what are you doing down here in Ohio? Don't you have some promotional tour to do or something?"
"Yeah, but stuff came up. Had to get out of there, figure shit out," Jude said as they turned a corner.
"Big family shocker, or huge revelation?"
"Both, and throw in an MIA producer," Jude added.
"Ouch, good luck with that. Where are ya headed?"
"California. I know, I'm crazy for driving, but I thought it'd buy me more time," Jude explained.
"Yeah, I understand that. Well, I'm gonna head home, I'm that way," Tara said pointing to the direction opposite of Jude.
"Alright, oh hey," Jude said grabbing a piece of paper from her notebook and scribbling down her address and email. "Write any new songs, mail me the cd or email the tracks to me,"
"Heh, alright, will do. If you're ever in town again, we should record a track,"
"I'll take you up on that, see ya," Jude said as she started to walk away.
