Hey guys, so I know I've posted this Chapter already, but I wasn't happy with the first version, so I decided to go back and edit. Sorry about that, the first version was way too rushed and sloppy, this one I hope will be better, and I hope you enjoy it (I mainly changed the last half, just and fyi). Please remember to leave a review, I want to get 5 reviews again before I update. Just tell me what you think of the story or chapter and if you want, you can ask a question and I will put the answer in an A/N up here at the top. Okay so before you read, I would really like to thank TributeandProud, Jasmine, anonime, GoChlollie, and Jounah for the wonderful reviews. I promise a chapter in Gale's POV will be coming up, I just have to figure out how I want to do it. I also want to thank Bpyxis and Jounah for the Favorites, and taytertarts, TheHalfBloodTribute, Jounah, GoChillie, and Tisha110802 for the follows. You guys rock, and inspire me to continue my writing!
(Disclaimer: Once again I dread to inform all of you that alas, I never have and never will own many aspects of this story. The only things that belong to me are my own characters and ideas. Anyway, enjoy.)
Chapter Four: Off to a Bad Start.
I go back and forth between being numb and fuming with anger. The sadness hasn't overtaken me yet like the other two, and I'm beginning to wonder when I'll break down. I feel it coming, but I know it's not here yet. I should be upset, crying my eyes out like I felt I was about to do earlier- but instead, I feel nothing. I feel like an empty shell of myself. I can't scream anymore, I have no energy to do so. I just lie back on my bed and stare at the ceiling. I watch as the rays of sunlight dim and transform into rays of moonlight. I ignore the calls of my dad as he tells me that I need to eat, that I need to do something. But I just stay there, still on my mattress. Eventually he gives up and decides to leave me alone. After hours of trying to drift to sleep, I realize that I have to get out of here. I know that it's late at night, but no matter how hard I try, I can't sleep. I force myself to get out of bed, and my body takes me to the woods. I leave a note for my parents and a filled syringe on the kitchen table. I just can't be here right now. I have to go outside of the district, or else I feel like I'm slowly being suffocated.
The walk to the woods and jumping the fence becomes a blur, and I feel a strike of pain when I reach into the hollowed tree trunk and accidently pull out Kat's bow and arrows. I quickly release them and grab my knives. I feel the anger bubbling up inside me and even as I try to cap it, I can't contain it anymore. I let out yet one scream, and then another. The mockingjays around the forest pick up on my yell and some begin to echo it, causing an eerie absence to become apparent. I walk to the usual hunting spot, but I'm careless in my footwork. I trip over several fallen branches and logs. I stumble and trip along the route. Eventually, I make the idiotic mistake of landing my foot in one of the mysterious snares. I feel my body lift up, my head smashing into the hard forest floor. My ankle throbs from the metal digging into my flesh. I curse myself for not paying close enough attention to avoid this. I try to curl the upper portion of my body up to untie the wire from my foot, but it only causes the metal to sink farther into my flesh, and I let out a small howl of pain. Tears fill my eyes from the pain in my head and foot. I try to clear my mind and aim for the wire where it is attached to the tree, so the wire will release me and I can be on my way. My first three attempts fail, and I get lucky on the forth. My lower half slams into the ground with a loud thud, and I let out a small whimper of pain. I get myself together, and gather my knives once again.
Moving over only a few yards, I begin to chuck the sharp weapons at a tree trunk. I have to get my anger out before I explode. Every throw is accompanied by a thought in my head. 'Why did this happen?' Thud. 'Why does it have to be Kat?' Thunk. 'It could have been me instead, and it should have been me instead.' Hit. 'I wish it was me.' Clank. 'I wish I would have volunteered before Kat had the chance to.' Thud. 'I wish my name was the one called.' Thud. 'I wish none of this ever happened.' Thunk. 'I wish neither Peeta nor Kat had to suffer like this.' Thunk. 'I wish this entire thing was a nightmare.' Miss. 'I wish the Hunger Games were never created. I wish the Capitol was extinct. I wish Panem never existed. That the disasters had never happened and that we didn't live in the ruins of an old country.' But that's all they are, wishes. Empty wishes that will never come true, because that's the way life works in Panem. No one gets the happy ending. Even if you win the Games you have to face the reality of what you did in order to gain the title.
I continue to assault the tree with my knives, venting out any and all anger left in me. Soon there is only one knife left, and as I go to throw it, my fingers seems stuck to the small metal object.
That's when the dam breaks. The only thing holding back my tears was the anger I felt, and now, all of that anger has dissipated. I crash down to my knees and sobs rock through my body. I can't see anything as my vision is blurred with the water droplets. I curl into a ball and let myself sob. I allow myself the chance to be vulnerable, to show weakness when no one is watching. I finally allow my walls to crash down in the privacy of the woods, and cry until there are no more tears left.
*The Next Morning*
I awake to rays of sunlight dancing down through the trees and on to my face. I would have thought yesterday was just a nightmare, but then my mind recognized the woods that surrounded me, and I came crashing back into reality. Judging by the sun's position in the sky, right now is the normal time I would be in the woods with Kat. That means I probably fell asleep at some point in my hysteria, but it's all blurred together. My anger and numbness has been washed away, as well as my sorrow for losing Peeta and Kat to the Games. All of those emotions have been sidetracked, and a feeling of determination has overwhelmed me. Right now there is only one thing I can think about, what can I do to help the two of them, all the way from twelve? But, no matter what I come up with, I have all day to come up with ideas before I can put them to any use. After all, I have to make my morning trades before I go to school.
I stretch my arms above my head and begin to push myself off the ground when I notice a small blanket draped across the lower half of my body. I know for sure I didn't bring a blanket with me. And the next thing I notice my knife sheath is filled with all the knives I used to vent my anger last night. I have no memory of picking up my scattered knives after throwing them at the tree. My gaze shifts up so I can see the multiple marks I made in the tree, giving evidence that all the events of last night did indeed occur. 'Where did this blanket come from? And who packed up my knives for me?' These two questions disturbed me, as it meant someone knew of my trips into the woods. If it was Stonerick then I have nothing to be concerned about, but if it was someone I didn't know, why were they out here in the first place?
I try to push the questions aside, and focus on retrieving a substantial haul, from now on, I no longer have to worry just about my family, but the Everdeens as well. And I make a mental note to stop by the bakers later in the day to see how they are holding up. As I walk around the woods hunting, I have to be careful not to limp from the cuts on my ankle.
After an hour I return to the District, making my first stop at Stonerick's shop. The bell dings just as it always does as I enter the building. This morning Stonerick's wife is behind the counter.
"Oh, Madge." She says as she rushes to me from behind the counter and envelopes my body in a comforting hug. I feel yet another pang in my heart- craving a mother's comfort which is something I know isn't available at home considering the circumstances. "How are you holding up, darling?"
"I'm okay. Could be better, could be worse. But I have to- I have to keep going, I won't just give up, I can't." My voice is shaky and soft spoken. But I try to reassure her by offering up a small smile. That smile is one she returns, but her eyes are still full of concern. "Anyway, are you up for a trade this morning?"
She lets out a small chuckle. "Well, what do you have for me today, Madge?" Rather than giving her a verbal answer, I pull out a few birds and a sack of berries I collected for them. As she collects the money from the register I also pull the, now folded, blanket out of my bag.
"Does this blanket belong to your family?" I ask while offering it up to her for further inspection. "I found it in the woods this morning, and I wasn't sure how it got there. I was wondering if Rick was out this morning or last night and maybe left it. Otherwise I have no idea whose it could be."
She nods, and I let out a held breath in relief.
"I didn't know Rick went out last night or this morning, but then again he could have snuck out while I was asleep. He knows I'm not found of him risking himself like that, especially right after Reaping Day." I'm not sure how to respond to that, considering I was in the woods most of the night, so I just stand there quietly until she hands me my payment. "There should be three coins for the berries and six for the birds."
"Thank you, Mrs. Stonerick. I really appreciate your business."
She returns my thanks with a small smile and a nod of her head. "Anytime Madge. Don't be afraid to visit if you need someone to talk to, or a place to escape everything." And at that she busies herself with her work behind the counter again.
After leaving the Jewelers, I make various other stops around Town to make trades and then head off to school. I gather a few textbooks and sheets of paper from my designated locker in the hallway before I make my way to class. It's strange to be walking these halls again without the comforting presence of my close friend. Our conversations don't fill the air and give this institution a sense of familiarity anymore. Instead the building feels cold, and foreign, as if it has been transformed into a completely different place than what it was last week. Classes pass by in a blur, and I can't even force myself to concentrate. Usually I have no issues being interesting in what the teacher is saying. My mind may wonder off and on, but I always absorb the teacher's words. Today is different though. My mind is focused on the Opening Ceremonies tonight rather than classwork. Time passes at a snail's pace and at the speed of light at the same time. It seems as though I still can't manage to wrap my head around the reality of yesterday. Everything is different, just because of one small piece of paper.
The bell sounding for lunch causes me to jump. And I slowly make my way to the cafeteria, where screens will be replaying all of the Reapings from yesterday. I sit in the usual table that Kat and I occupy on a normal day. It's weird thinking she'll never be here at school with me again. I'm not saying that I think she will die in the Games, but when she becomes a Victor, school will be of no use to her. I feel weird sitting at the table alone, and it's almost as if I'm back to being the friendless Madge I was when I first moved to the Seam. Almost, but before I can take the first bite of my lunch another blonde takes place across the table from me. I feel a bit of relief as I recognize the girl sitting across from me, Charm Hain. At first glance you would think we were twins, but when you take a closer look, you see the countless differences. Her eyes are a light green color rather than being a deep blue like mine. Where my hair is curly and golden blonde, hers is straight and light blonde, with hints of light brown undertones. Her build is much different from mine, and she also remains a few inches taller than me. Her skin a few shades darker than my pale pigmentation. The two major differences though, are where we are from, and the fact that Charm is a year younger than I am. Charm is the daughter of the victor of the fifty fourth Hunger Games. He originated from district one and when they were growing up, he and my dad were friends with one another. Hain claims he wanted to move to a less crowded district in order to escape the chaos of district one. It is common knowledge that districts one and two have the most victors, but there is no way they would run out of houses in the Victor's Village. I don't know why he was so keen on moving to the poorest district that is covered in a thick layer of coal dust, but I know it's not from overpopulation.
"Here," Charm says as she slides a small piece of brown desert over to my side of the table. "It's chocolate. It should release some endorphins that will generate happiness, maybe take some of the stress away." I know she means well by her actions, but being from the Seam, I don't see too well to acts of charity, even if they are small and are with good intentions. I shake my head no as I slide the piece back over to her. "Come on Madge, do you really want to eat that?" She motions down to the district school regulated food in front of me. It really shouldn't be called food even- the correct term for this substance would be unidentified mush.
I hesitate before accepting the small amount of food. And Charm smirks, relishing in her small victory. "Just this once." I remind her.
"Whatever you say." The friendship between the two of his is only slightly different than my friendship with Katniss. Charm and I used to be extremely close friends when I lived in town, and although her father frowns upon our friendship now, she's been determined to keep the bond between the two of us strong. About once a month or so, Charm will join Kat and me in the woods for hunting, as she loves the freedom of being outside the district just as much as we do. In a way, Charm is like Peeta. Not stuck up from her position in Town, and not having any prejudices toward people from the Seam.
We sit and eat in silence for most of the hour. I can tell she wants to talk about the Reaping, but avoids doing so in order to spare me from talking about it. It's not like it would affect me very much right now, considering they keep replaying the Reapings over and over again in the Cafeteria. I watch and try to pick out who will be a threat. The couple from two will most definitely be a challenge to defeat in the arena, the girl from five looks sneaky, and the boy from eleven looks like a large threat. As soon as I see the little girl from eleven, I'm almost positive Kat will have a soft spot for her in the Games. I watch the screens until I've memorized all of the faces and names of every tribute. When the recording of twelve's Reaping replays and shows Prim's hysteria, I hear a few snickers from a few tables over. I see a group of boys from Town laughing at her reaction to Kat volunteering, and I feel the urge to kick all four of them in a place the sun doesn't shine. As lunch is almost over, the group of Town boys passes us, muttering unpleasant comments under their breath. The moment I hear "-just a lousy Seam rat, she stands no chance. I wonder how the two's will take her out." I practically jump out of my seat, ready to rip their throats out. Looking the leader of the group, Taino I think, straight in the eye.
"You do realize that's my friend you're talking about, right?" My scowl is met with a glare.
"Oh, I forgot Seam rats stick together in packs. What are you going to do when you have to watch your friend slowly die in the arena? Go running home calling to your Mommy for comfort, knowing you can't do anything to stop her death? And even if you tried, you'd never have anything to give to help her."
Within seconds I have Taino pinned to the wall behind my table, my forearm pressed up against his throat. I can feel his adams apple move as he attempts to swallow, probably the fear and shock is what causes this. My entire being is seething in anger, and I have to restrain myself from taking one of the knives off the table. "Don't you ever, ever, insult my friend again, while you're too much of a wimp to go into the Games yourself, Katniss will be in there winning. She's stronger than you, and while you would drop dead in the arena as soon as the bloodbath started, Katniss will be coming home. Being from the Seam is an advantage in life. It prepares you for the reality of the world. Whereas in your case, at the first sign of something going wrong, you'll be going home to your Mommy, sucking your thumb like the baby you are." And with that, the bell rings. I release Taino from the wall and walk away with a small and triumphant smirk on my lips. Not only do I think I've proven my point to the privileged Town boy, but his words gave me an idea. I could start a collection pool for Kat- send her money so she can receive gifts in the arena. But before I can think over the details of my plan, my thoughts are interrupted.
"Madge," I hear Charm calling my name from behind. "You know they were just trying to get a rise out of you. You shouldn't have reacted like that. One, you could've been caught by a teacher. And two, people from Town will take that as a threat. You can't just go around pushing people against walls when they insult someone close to you."
"Thanks for the concern Charm, but I was just trying to prove a point." I feel her hand enclose on my arm as she forces me to turn and look at her.
"No Madge, you don't understand, Taino doesn't just walk away from something with his head down. I know him well enough to know how he'll react, and trust me, it won't be pleasant." Once she finishes she scurries back to her class. And I'm left pondering her words. She is right. I can't go around doing that when I hear something I don't like. I'll have to learn to have a thicker skin and not react too rashly.
The rest of the day's classes pass faster than this mornings. I still don't pay attention though. I'm too busy working out the details of the collection pool. I'm sure people will donate at the Hob, and if we put a jar in the Bakery we can even raise some money for Peeta too. At the end of the day, I rush to my locker so I can put my plan to action. But once I remember I have to take care of Prim this afternoon, and the mandatory viewing of the Opening Ceremonies is tonight, I slow my pace. Once at my locker, I place my books back in the metal container and shut the door. And as soon as I do so, I'm greeted with Gale Hawthorne's face.
"Why did you see him? Peeta. Why were you, of all people, saying goodbye to him when you'll be rooting for your friend to kill him and come home?" Once again, Gale addresses me with and accusatory tone.
"Why should it matter to you?" I retort while trying to walk by him. But he grabs my arm, forcing me to stay.
"It's my business because I was just as close to him so you were to that Catnip girl. Only one can come back, and you can't cheer for both of them. Why did you see him?"
"Because, as much as you don't want to believe it, Peeta was my friend too. Unlike some people, he didn't see a problem with befriending someone from the Seam. He didn't care that my family wasn't as well off as his, and he didn't accuse me of trying to steal something or having an ulterior motive." I spit out the words, and I have to force myself to stop before I say anything I'll regret.
"Look, I didn't mean anything about what I said the other day, but you don't exactly have the best attitude to judge."
I scoff, "So you still think it's perfectly fine the judge someone without getting to know them?"
His eyebrows furrow, and a hint of a smirk grows on his face, "Are you saying you want me to get to know you better?" I guess no matter what, he'll always be the Town flirt, as well as a jackass.
I laugh, before I can keep it from bubbling out of my throat. "Do you really think that after you have accused me, judged me, and forcibly confronted me that I would even be slightly interested in you? Hell no. If I were you, I would deflate my ego and try not to be so arrogant." With that being said, I turn on my heel and begin to head toward the school for younger kids, the one Prim attends. After taking a few steps I stop and look over my shoulder. I can barely speak above a whisper as I tell Gale one last thing. "And for your information, I'll never root for Peeta's death. It'll be too hard to bear to even watch it. He never deserved this, and I wish there was something I could do to stop it all." And with that I leave.
When I pick Prim up from school I can tell she's nervous about the Ceremonies tonight. The ways she bites her lower lip and doesn't have the same bounce in her step are clear giveaways. After dropping off my money and supplies from trading this morning at my house, I go with Prim to the District square. There aren't very many people there yet, so Prim and I manage to get a couple good spots up at the front. The two of us pass the next hour by trying to distract ourselves of the reality of the situation. We talk about classes and how our days went. Prim's face lightens up when I tell her my idea of the collection pool, and she makes sure that I plan on doing a collection for Peeta as well. Soon after that Prim is busy talking to her friends who have now arrived, and I stand there looking around the crowd. I notice Charm up on the stage in a position beside her dad and brother. She makes a weird face at me before returning to the conversation among her family. As I look around the crowd I also spot a pair of grey/multicolored eyes staring at me. Gale stands across the lot with his friend Thom, whose family owns the restaurant in town. Today his stare doesn't unnerve me like yesterdays, but instead it looks like he's trying to figure me out, watching my every move, calculating. He's probably wondering if I truly meant the words that come out of my mouth.
Before I can think of anything else the Capitol anthem blares around the square. I watch as chariot after chariot roll along the screen. I find myself paying more attention to the elaborate jewels adorning the tributes than the clothing choices. District one is too much to be pretty, and the next two districts have none. District four and district seven both represent an element and their jewels are gorgeous. Four has rocks that glisten as if they are made of water and seven's are rocky, rough, and earthy to represent the trees. Beyond those districts not many others wear anything of interest. But once our districts chariot rolls out Prim grabs my hand, and my heart nearly stops. That is, until we realize that the fire on Katniss and Peeta is not actually real. But it looks real. They crowd cheers their names and they wave, blow kisses, and soak in all of the attention. It surprises me to see Kat like this, but I know it's only for the sponsor's she'll gain.
After the Ceremonies, I walk Prim home and she babbles about how spectacular Katniss' outfit was. How Kat will have sponsors lining up for her just from the Opening Ceremonies alone. For the first time in a long time, I fall asleep feeling content and happy. It's the exact opposite of how I felt last night. But before I fall asleep I realize that the Games have yet to start and when they do, things will be getting worse, very quickly. The thought of how quickly stays in my mind as I drift into sleep.
And Done! I hope you guys like this one better than what I originally written. Anyway, please make sure to leave a review, and tell me your thoughts of my story. Also, I'm curious to see how you think Gale is from Town? Please give me your answer that in your review. I hope for another 5 reviews again before I make another update. I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas, and make sure you stay safe this holiday season! See you next chapter!
