A/N: I have to admit that I have encountered certain difficulties in writing something for this pair.
DISCLAIMER: op. cit. *
ECSTATIC EMERALD PAIR
Inui, as was his character, opened his famous green notebook, leafed through some pages and reviewed his treasure: data of the Seigaku regulars.
Momoshiro and Kawamura seem to do well with their plan. Probability of success is 89%.
Fuji and Kikumaru are 94% successful with their. The remaining percentage is an allowance for the probability that they are plotting against me.
Tezuka, Oishi and Echizen seem to be working hard, though. The progress is 33.33% slower than Fuji-Kikumaru pair and 12.1 % slower than Momoshiro-Kawamura pair. It is still not bad considering than Echizen is irritated 59 % of the time now.
Ii data…
Kaido hissed. There was nothing new to this like his senpai's data gathering. What he was pissed off was the fact that Momoshiro Takashi seemed to have found a way through his "hellish" diet while he, Kaido Kaoru, self- considered as better-than-Momoshiro-in-any-way was nowhere near accomplishing anything in his list. The viper let out another hiss.
"What is it Kaido?" Inui inquired as he closed his notebook. Out of all the regulars, he would probably be the best person to know Kaido Kaoru's mood based on the number, the tone, and the tempo of hisses that the kohai made. How he figured out, nobody knew, just like how he concocted his juices. But you have to give it up to him. He IS Inui Sadaharu—he HAS his ways. He probably had snake charming lessons just for his Ii Data.
"What about us senpai?"
"What 'us' Kaido? I'm contented with our status as it is."
There was nothing wrong with the word 'status' and Kaido was far from having a Facebook account or even attempting to make one, but it was THAT word that ran a shiver to his spine. The poor boy blushed. This was what he got from observing Kikumaru and Fuji senpai-tachi the past few days. "That is not what I mean."
Inui stared at Kaido, but no one could attest to this since his eyes were hardly visible through his specs. We could just imagine him tilting his head to his kohai and staying in that position while sun glinted on the reams of his spectacles and the wind tousled light objects, creating what could have been a very romantic atmosphere. "The probability that we are having miscommunication is 50%."
Kaido hissed. For the sake of beating Momoshiro, he must make his senpai listen to him for once. "We haven't done anything yet."
"What exactly do we need to do?"
"Senpai!" Mr. Bandana yelled out, his emotions getting the better of him.
Inui on the other hand remained calm. "Kaido, you don't need to shout at your senpai, right?"
"Senpai," the younger repeated through gritted teeth, muffling the tension inside, "What are we going to do with the plan?"
"Kaido, I have answered that already. What exactly do we need to do? The things I have written in the regulars' lists are quite manageable. How they have interpreted it was unfortunately out of my hand. Demo, I have to admit that I have overlooked that since it was a mere 0.00001% chance." He added his last statement as if he was only wondering out loud and not talking to Kaido. The latter then thought that the matter was over.
Kaido turned and was about to walk away when Inui spoke again. "Don't be pressured on how the other regulars ease their burden. We've been through a lot and even tougher diet and training plans."
"Demo, senpai…"
"Nani?"
Kaido Kaoru hesitated. He was a man of few words after all. He had hardly raised questions to his senpai even if Inui would make him the guinea pig for the latest Inui _ Remix version _. However, since pride was at stake—Kaido could imagine Momoshiro looking down on him. It was enough a motivation. In fact, he was fired up very much like Kawamura in burning mode—he decided to go for it and through his humblest voice, asked, "What about your list, senpai?"
"My list? Naze?"
"Senpai, there is a sixty percent possibility that your list is the easiest among ours."
"T-Tha…THa…" Inui Sadaharu found himself stuttering. He did not compute that. Sasuga, Kaido. He has picked up my habits. Summoning his old self, he adjusted his glasses, "Do you have any suggestion?"
"Give me your list senpai. Onegai," Kaido hastily added the last word knowing the possibility of the senior handing out his list was quite low.
Inui carefully considered this proposition and thought of the consequences and the advantages of handing out his plan. After much thought he concluded that nothing could go wrong out of his calculations, he pulled out his training plan out of his pocket and gave it to Kaido. In return, he received Kaido's copy.
"I will return this to you tomorrow senpai." Kaido said it as a farewell and really left before Inui could ask him about he would do. Inui could only trust the respect that he had painstakingly earned from the kohai.
….
Kaido Kaoru's residence:
"Kaoru aren't you going to have dinner?"
"I will, in a minute…"
Kaido reviewed the list he had edited. He let out a rare smirk.
Inui Sadaharu's diet plan:
1. Run 50 laps before Tezuka buchou says so.—this way, he will not always think that you are after him.
2. Don't let Echizen drink even a gulp of Ponta—I don't know why you are asking us to do this but I will keep this.
3. Wash your face regularly.—I heard Kikumaru senpai said you don't do so.
4. Wear extra underpants.—senpai, onegai.
5. Stop making vegetable juices. –no one likes them. You can make an extra for Momoshiro though.
6. Stop collecting data.—it creeps me out.
7. Don't touch your computer.—see number 6.
8. Don't hide behind bushes.—see number 6. Besides senpai, your height makes your effort worthless.
9. Don't wear your glasses. –how many times must they be broken before you decide to use contact lenses? Senpai, didn't you put that in your data?
10. Don't scream when you are using waterfall.—your spit gushes out.
Kaido evaluated and re-evaluated the things in the plan. He knew he was a little harsh on his senpai and some words he had added might hurt, demo, he reasoned out that he had just copied how his senpai had written his commentaries. Also, he believed that Inui Sadaharu would still be objective after this. This was for the team after all.
Kaido nodded to himself and went down to sup.
The next day came and the first thing that Kaido did was return his Inui's plan. Inui was silent for a couple of minutes. After rereading the list for at least three times, he cleared his throat and said, "Kaido, you are really a man of absolutes. You did not even mention any percentage."
He then handed out Kaido's diet. "Demo, I can also be that kind of man."
Kaido abruptly checked his and found out that his diet was rewritten on a fresh paper. Clearly, most that had been originally written were edited.
"Kaido, we are quite used to our training sessions. I agree with you that it's now the time to be serious."
Teme…Kaido mentally cursed. This is not serious, senpai!
Kaido Kaoru's Diet:
1. Hissing is forbidden.—muttering incoherent curses is also forbidden.
2. Drink Inui's vegetable juices-fiber is really important for endurance player.
3. Wash your bandana.—I cannot get an accurate data whether you change them twice a week or they change in color due to dirt.
4. Refrain from eating Bento—yes it's complete. It's complete with all kinds of calorie too.
5. Stop being discreet in loving animals—you look more awkward when you try to hide how you adore kittens.
6. Be friends with Momoshiro—to what extent, it depends on you but at least stop bickering in front of the other team members.
7. Get enough sleep—I have figured out that that's the reason you're wide-eyed always.
8. Refrain from bullying your kohai—don't think you can get away with it just because you are a regular.
9. Run 50 laps—it will give you better impression.
10. Stop Echizen Ryoma from drinking Ponta.
How Kaido Kaoru wanted to grab what he had written for his senpai, apologize, and return to the original plans. However, since pride was at stake, better risk it.
Another good day shone its face upon Seishin Gakuen. The team members of the tennis club gathered themselves in the court. Some, particularly Kikumaru and Fuji who were passing each other water bottles, were already running laps. Kawamura and Momoshiro were doing some push-ups. Tezuka and Oishi huddled in one corner while Echizen Ryoma swung his racket with more force than usual. All of them stopped their activities though when Kaido and Inui came in.
Or were they Kaido and Inui?
"Ohayou gozaimasu!" Kaido greeted everyone cheerfully. He even smiled at Momoshiro who turned pale. The viper looked less like a snake and more of a puppy. He was extremely friendly to everyone.
"Wa-was that Mamushi?" Momoshiro asked, aghast at the turn out of events.
"There is a 34 percent chance that he is," Kawamura replied, forgetting the number of push-ups that he had done.
Inui on the other hand looked at the end of his wits. His face was squeaky clean. His hair, well kept. The big difference was the absence of his eye-glasses. It gave him a dull and life-less look. He felt really uncomfortable. What made it worse was the fact that his pants were quite heavy and thick.
"Inui, daijobou ka?" Oishi asked. It was his first time being worried of Inui's condition.
Inui, trying to keep himself composed stood straight. However, his hands started to fidget because of the lack of the familiar feeling of his notebook. He attached them to his sides. "Usu," he muttered.
"Eh?"Kikumaru, whose bandage was on his forehead, looked at Fuji. "Fuji, they got our idea."
"Daijobou," Fuji whispered picking on Eiji's plaster and sticking it on the latter's chin. "We'll think of other players to imitate."
Tezuka approached Kaido who was about to lie down on a bench. "Kaido, practice time is not yet over."
"I already ran, 50 laps this morning, buchou," Kaido smiled and covered his mouth to stifle a yawn. "Let me just sleep for thirty minutes." With that, he shifted to a more comfortable position and snored. Tezuka's glasses glinted in the sun.
"Inui, run 40 laps. Kaido is under your care. Things like this will not be permitted."
Inui nodded, still unconfident without his glasses, notebook, and vegetable juice. "Usu."
"Tezuka!" Oishi exclaimed. "Something is definitely wrong here. You have permitted all of these in the first place. Don't just blame Inui!"
The regulars looked at Oishi to Tezuka, back to Oishi. It was their first time hearing their fukubuchou scolding their buchou.
"Hai," Tezuka conceded to the surprise of the members. "Inui, 25 laps then."
"Didn't know Oishi's got that in him," Fuji chuckled.
"That's what you call Oishi Territory," Eiji contributed earning more laughter from the tensai. "Fuji, your eyes."
"Hai hai. Gomen," came the reply and the tensai opened his eyes once again.
"Demo, Oishi is so fired up today. He is not worrying but his demeanor is stronger," Kawamura observed.
"Sasuga, fukubuchou. But more importantly, why are Inui and Mamushi acting like the Hyotei regulars? I can't understand this, I ccc-" Momoshiro clamped his mouth shut before he could repeat his words.
"Mada mada dane, senpai-tachi," Echizen smirked as he turned and drank from his water bottle. With a satisfied gulp, he went back to practice, giving himself a tap on the shoulder. This whole diet thing turned out to be more interesting than he imagined. And he, being Echizen Ryoma, the Prince of Tennis, was enthusiastic in beating his senpai-tachi in their own game.
A/N: Yay! I'm finally through this and FFN has already sorted its problem. Am I happy! Inui's and Kaido's plans are really different from the others since they are quite used to having weird diet plans (according to the anime that is). There is 99.98 percent chance that you know who the Hyotei regulars being imitated in this fic.
Pray, tell me. Is this fic going beyond your expectations? Hontou? Then review! Saa…minna…yudan sezou ni ikou.
