Disclaimer: I do not own Companions of the Night. As much as I'd like to, I don't.

Chapter 4: Death Wish

"Damn-it, Kerry!" the frustrated voice yelled out. Then there was a crash of a beautiful crystal vase. I jumped from it as it slammed into the wall next to me.

"Stop being like this, Kerry!" he demanded.

I shook my head, looking into his intense blue eyes. He made a stride this way towards me, and I moved out of his path more towards the side. He caught hold of my shoulder and shoved me against the wall. I saw glint of anger in his eyes and then he sighed, making his eyes turn just cold. "You're too cold, Kerry. I know you know this. This is a death wish."

"I don't want to anymore…" I trailed off, trying to get away from his eyes that were burning into me. His grip got tighter on my shoulder, "Besides, I fed three nights ago."

He gritted his teeth and then shouted, unable to contain himself, "LIAR!" I didn't jump even though he was right there in my face.

"Michel…" I began softly, but he cut in.

"Two weeks, Kerry…Two fucking weeks!" he was frustrated with me and upset and worried. I could see the mixed emotion in his eyes. "I CAN'T let you do that." He yelled in my face. "Not to yourself! It's temporary and you know that!" his voice was sharp but with concern.

I began to slide to the floor to sit on the cold marble, but I was even colder then it. He guided me down and sat, still facing me.

"Is it because you're my maker?" I asked softly.

He seemed baffled at that for a moment and recovered, grabbing my wrist, "Maybe it's more of this," he said softly now, tracing the bite mark on my wrist, "then that."

"Either way, both?" I asked, now in a daze as I felt another hunger pain come on. Something far worse then I have ever experienced.

Before he could answer, I clutched onto his wrist as tightly as I could to make the pain in me ease. I closed my eyes real tight and waited for it to be over. It felt like my whole body shook. I felt Michel's arms wrap around me. He felt so much warmer now.

I realized that I was up off the ground and he was carrying me. I didn't open my eyes, but heard him kick a door open.

"Get someone for her to feed off of now!" Michel yelled with urgency. I clung to him unconsciously.

I then shook my head as I heard a girl scream. I felt Michel grab my chin and I could feel him looking down at me intensely. He dropped me to the floor gently.

I heard the girl scream out again. By then, I realized my hunger pain was gone and I cracked an eye open. Michel had grabbed the girl and threw her at me.

"Kerry…" he growled looking at me as I just sat there. The girl stood there looking at me for a moment, terror in her eyes. She knew what would happen if she ran.

"Kerry!" Michel barked, "If you don't drink then you're going to die! Is that what you want?!" I could feel the urgency in his voice.

"Please, Kerry," I finally heard him drop to a whisper. His eyes swirled in nothing but pain.

I finally slowly stood up and took the girl in my hands, turning us so her back was against the wall and not mine. She just was so confused.

As I leaned in, the girl asked in a tremble, "I have a choice right?"

I pulled back. I was surprised. I had never heard someone ask that before. I may have had my mouth hanging open. But I finally nodded.

I stared at her, waiting for her to acknowledge that fact.

She finally said, almost choking it out "I just wanted to be sure."

I stared at her for a few more seconds then I finally leaned in and heard her pulse. I sunk my teeth into her and she let out a hiss of pain but then she relaxed her body. Like everyone else, she saw all horrors. But she was also curious in ways I hadn't seen up until now. She was especially curious with me and what was going on. She was debating on taking the offer…

I finally pulled back with her completely drained, but enough so she can have a choice. To my surprise, when I held my wrist to her mouth, she took it. I gasped out loud. To have someone here take the offer was so rare. It hasn't happened in so long. It hasn't happened since me and Michel has gotten here.

I sat there staring at her in disbelief. Michel's arm then appeared and pulled me up. He pulled me away from her and back to our room. I walked in as he turned and shut the door. He stood there, not facing me, leaning his head against the closed doors. I sat on the bed, looking at him.

"How could you?" he whispered, still not looking at me.

I turned away from his stiff body. I felt him walk over when I did that. He sat down next to me.

"You can't do that, Kerry," he said to me softly, but sternly. He paused for a moment and I turned to look at him, "It scares me way too much. You scared me today. I thought…" he trailed off, "I knew that you weren't feeding. I knew you were lying. But…I was hoping…but it wasn't…I thought it would be too much for you to handle and you would break your fast soon. But two weeks, Kerry…" he trailed off yet again. "That's too long. That's deadly."

I turned away from him again. I couldn't stand to see the pain in his eyes. But he grabbed my chin and yanked it towards him, "What the hell possessed you to do that?"

"This place did…" I replied softly.

"Please don't do it again. I don't think I can stand to see you like that. I could barely today."

"I'm sorry…" I said quietly.

He let my chin go and he began to rub my cheek. He leaned in looking at me intensely. His lips crashed down onto mine deeply. I kissed him back as he slowly laid me onto the bed, where we made love.

And when it was almost sun up and I was in the crook of Michel's arm, he whispered to me, "Being your maker has nothing to do with it. If that was the thing, if you wanted to die…then that was that. But you…" he grabbed my wrist with his mark, "this is the reason. Because I love you. It pains me to think of what you were trying to do." He pulled me closer, "Just a few more years, Kerry, and we'll leave. But please, don't ever do that again."

I nodded, "I'm sorry," I whispered.

He kissed the top of my head.

He cared enough to yell at me.

He cared enough to make me kill again.

He cared enough to save me from a death wish that wasn't worth it…