Hey!
I'm happy today:) Is anybody else overjoyed? Let me know!
So…Peeta and Delly huh?;) …Wish it was me…:)
Thanks to all you good people who sit patiently at your computers and wait for this, I hope its worth your time is all…Peetame, Destined627, justcuz123, ElsterBird, Torygirl, complicatedness,(I gave myself a big hug from you, thank you!)kismet4891, dnino, Bright Lights and White Nights (Where did you vanish to?:) ) passionately- curious, Bubba98, Mirage Rules kaitoukiddo87, Smiles Laced with Cyanide and hungergamesaddict0812 for Alerting/ Flagging/ Reviewing this story!:)
SilverMistKey…Camoflage!;)
"Are you sure that that was your first time?" she asks, climbing out of bed, her long fingers slipping on her briefs and reaching for her bra on the floor.
I rang her up half an hour after Delly left; the tremors of abhorrence became overwhelming and vodka was not helping. I watch her long, smooth, unscathed back as she slips her high heels back on, one at a time.
"Yes, why?"
She leans her head over her shoulder so that I can see her eyes beaming into mine in the hazy light.
"I thought that you and Katniss had perhaps…?"
My head slumps back into the pillow, our eyes never breaking contact as I breathe deeply, an answer plotting in my mind.
"No…no we didn't…Why?"
"Peeta…for a virgin you knew a lot more than I'd given you credit for"
A small lovely noise slips out of her mouth as she says the last bit, her cheeks reddening slightly at the remark. Our eyes still smoulder into the others as she leans in for a kiss; and a different feeling takes over from the usual rage that brews inside of me.
"I'm full of surprises"
My voice is silky smooth and reeking of seduction against her velvet ear.
"I'll bet you are"
"Hmmm… So…?"
I look at her with fake nonchalance on my face, my arms hooking to her sides before tumbling back down together, skin to skin. Her fingers comb the side of my hair and my thumb skims her cheek as the kiss deepens, my free hand twitching the clasp on her bra.
What about morals? Old Peeta wouldn't have done this. Fuck, he didn't have the balls to tell the girl he'd loved for so long how he felt about her until it was too late. He died back in the arena, along with the slim hope of a better future for himself…a future that involved the girl who went in with him. And all that was left of that hope were scars and the remainder of skin that once was his left leg. There was still hope left for him, not for the ideal future he had planned but maybe with someone else. Maybe in time he could regain some of his old ways, rediscover the old Peeta, the one that hadn't been claimed by the Games.
Until then, the feel of her beneath me as our pelvis grind rhythmically together will have to do. She squirms, feeling me entirely hidden within before rocking against me, the pressure intensifying until I collapse on top of her, rattling the bed frame against the wall as we both crash. Clambering away from her, the euphoria doesn't last for long, even with her hands strumming all over my skin, soothing me, exhaustion setting into my bones. She retrieves her clothes again, except this time I don't bother watching or talking to her. Her lips press against my hair one last time before the door shuts behind, leaving me alone again. Alone with the thoughts of how that should've been with someone else. It should've been her. No one else.
Do I hate life this much? Is it worth being in a prison that I can't escape from for the rest of my life, knowing that it will never end? Can I live knowing that the one person who actually mattered most deceived me and denied my affections all for the sake of survival? What does it even matter? She's made her point crystal fucking clear now that her family are taken care of and starvation, along with finance is taken out of the equation. What else could Katniss possible need apart from that and Gale? Why did I even think that I had made any sort of impact or change to her, it was all a lie in the end.
I reach out for my bedside drawer, naked, tired and hidden under my sheets for the emergency vodka bottle. It isn't long before my eyes give in and the world around me becomes one large swirling mess, a comforting sign that soon I'll slip away and hopefully lose myself a little bit more to her. Because no matter how much I try to distract myself, the end is inevitable. I will have to face her someday soon, and I will have to deal with it and act as I did in the Arena…apart from this time…she won't be pretending to be in love alone, I'll be acting alongside her for the Capitol's show.
