Coldwave Aladdin AU!

So looking forward to this!

Please read, review and enjoy ?

….

"NOOOOOOOO!" Eobard screamed as he watched the cave collapse in on itself, burying the two thieves and the lamp along with them.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

….

"You know, I expect you to join me for dinner when I command it!" King Lewis growled, as he stormed into his son's room, "If I have to start having people drag you down there, then I will!"

Len twisted around and glared at him, "Instead of focusing on me, why don't you keep control of your advisor?"

"… What do you mean?"

"he's making decisions about dealing with criminals behind your back… how long until he starts making other decisions? Where the money goes, for example?"

When his Father's face darkened in fury, Len couldn't help but smirk triumphantly.

Got him, hook, line and sinker.

…..

"I fucking love this rug…" Mick grunted, as he and Cisco lay on the stone, cold floor, "… I feel like I should mention that more often. Fucking. Love. This. Rug."

During their struggle, it appeared as though the rug had gotten free from under the boulder and had just managed to catch the pair before they hit the lava, getting them to safety as the cave collapsed.

"I mean, we're fucking trapped, but we're alive. Big bonus!"

Cisco, who was rubbing his head (having landed a little heavily), glared at Mick. "Why didn't you just give him the lamp?!"

"He wouldn't have let us live either way! And nobody cares that much about a lamp, without some other reason."

Pulling the lamp out from his inside pocket, Mick carefully started to examine it. "Yeah, it looks like a piece of junk, but it must be worth something… there's a bit if writing here, maybe it's a manufacturer?"

The writing was unclear, so Mick decided to give it a bit of a rub…. Only to promptly drop it when the lamp started to quiver and shake, glowing bright red as fireworks shout out of it.

"What the- "

In a cloud of red smoke, a fully-grown man was standing in front of them, dressed in a long brown trench coat, sparks dancing around his fingers

"I'm telling you… "The figure sighed in a clear Scouse-ish accent, "… ten thousand years will give you the biggest crick in the bloody neck. Hang about mate, let me straighten myself out first."

Mick and Cisco watched as the strange man rolled his neck around and stretched out his arms.

"Alright!" the man straightened up and smirked at the pair of them, "Three wishes, let's get this over and done with."

"A genie…" Hissed Cisco, "… an actual fucking genie…. I hit my head, I must have done."

"Name's Constantine, and you are?"

"… Mick… and Cisco." Mick eventually answered, his eyes still wide in shock.

"Nice. Short… love it." Constantine then turned to the rug, "Do you smoke? Mind if I do? Hey Barry, haven't seen you in a few millennia! Give us some tassel!"

He high-fived the rug… Barry, as Mick shook himself out of his shock and straightened up.

"So… you're a genie… and I'm your master?"

Constantine started to clap slowly, "Well done… so what d'ya want? Muscles to make Hercules jealous? Freedom from the law? Sexier voice? But no wishing for more wishes! Three and that's it! No substitutions, exchanges or refunds!"

"I'm dreaming…" Cisco was still muttering in shock, "… I'm totally dreaming!"

Ignoring him, Mick leaned forwards. "So, you'll grant me any three wishes I ask for?"

Constantine groaned, burying his head in his hands, "Not quite mate, there are a few things I won't do… call them my outstanding morals."

"… Morales? You guys have morals?"

"Ever met an evil genie? Trust me, you'll appreciate these morals."

Mick rolled his eyes but didn't argue any further. "Alright… lay them on us."

"Number one, I'm not killing anyone for you, so don't ask! Number two, I can't make anyone fall in love with someone else… Number three, I won't raise anyone from the dead. It's not a pretty picture! I don't like doing it!" Constantine then shrugged, "Other than that, you got it."

Mick and Cisco glanced at each other as Constantine lit up a cigarette, communicating silently as Mick smirked.

"Provisos?" He sighed, "As in, limitations on wishes? Ha, some all-powerful genie!"

Cisco nodded in agreement, laughing as Mick continued to mock Constantine.

"Can't even bring back someone from the dead…" Mick shook his head, "… I tell you what kid, I bet he can't even get us out of this cave. Looks like it's up to us."

Constantine, who was starting to growl and scowl at the mocking tone, grabbed Mick by the sleeve. "Are you kidding me? You're the one who rubbed my lamp, woke me up and brought me here… and now you're just going to walk away? I don't think so… you're getting your three wishes so sit down!"

A gust of wind knocked them onto their asses, with Barry catching them before they could hit the ground.

"Keep your arms and legs inside the carpet because we're out of here!"

"I can't fucking believe this!" King Lewis ranted and raved, as Darhk knelt before him, "I am the King Darhk! I decide who lives and who dies! NOT YOU!"

"I assure you Your Highness, it won't happen again."

King Lewis sneered at the advisor, "It had better not Darhk…. You get one chance to defy my rule like that. One more time and you'll find yourself on the wrong side of the firing squad!"

"… I believe public execution is frowned upon now-a-days."

"I'm the King, I'll bring it back!"

King Lewis then turned to Len (who had been watching this all in amusement), "And you…" he growled, "… if I ever here about you leaving this palace again, you'll join him in the firing squad! Lisa's husband, when she gets one, can be the heir."

Len remained silent, keeping his face neutral as his Father stormed out of the room, leaving him and Darhk alone.

"I wouldn't feel too pleased with yourself Darhk…" Prince Len eventually spoke up, glaring at the advisor, "… know this. When I am King, I will have the power to get rid of you… and the firing squad will seem like a holiday compared to my methods."

Before Darhk could retort, the Prince stormed away, missing how the advisor's face darkened and he cursed under his breath.

"If only you'd gotten that fucking lamp!" he hissed in anger, hearing Eobard zip to his side.

"It was an unfortunate situation, you were the one who decided a thief was the best bet! How are you surprised that he stole the lamp?"

When Darhk growled, Eobard only shrugged. "You'll only have to find another 'diamond in the rough'… unless you want to be a simple advisor forever?"

Darhk was clearly not happy with this, as he started to pace around the room, heading out onto the balcony before he could truly lose his temper. This continued on for a few moments, until Eobard suddenly had a thought.

"Why don't you marry the Princess… or the Prince if that's more up your alleyway?"

Turning to his companion, Darhk frowned, "What did you say?"

"Marry one of the royals… Len would probably be the best choice, because you'll then be made King. Once you're King, you can then get rid of Lewis, Len and Lisa in one fell swoop… a tragic boating accident perhaps?"

"Hmmm…" Darhk walked back into the throne room, taking a seat on the royal blue cushions, "… the idea does have its merits. Eobard, have I told you how much I love how your twisted little mind works?"

"It could be said more often."

…..

"Thank you for choosing Magic Carpet for all your travel needs. Please do not stand until the rug has come to a complete stop."

Mick and Cisco rolled their eyes as they got off the rug, onto beautiful golden sand… on an island in the middle of nowhere.

"Well…" Constantine lit up a cigarette, "... how about that Mrs Doubtfire?"

"Yeah, you sure showed us… now about those three wishes?"

"Do my ears deceive me? You are down by one boy!"

Mick smirked at this and shook his head, "I never actually wished to be let out of the cave… you did that yourself."

Constantine was clearly about to argue, until his eyes widened in realisation and he started to curse furiously. Once the tirade was finished, he pointed angrily at Mick, "Alright, I'll give you that… but no more freebies!"

Mick couldn't help but smirk at this, "Fair enough…. Three wishes." He started to pace, "Well, I want them to be good… what would you wish for Smokey?"

Knowing that he was being questioned, Constantine frowned. "What would I wish for…. Nobody's asked me that before." He then chuckled, "Well in my case- nah, forget it."

"- What?"

"No, I- "

"- Tell me."

Constantine took a deep breath, "Freedom."

"… You're a prisoner?"

Shrugging, Constantine shook his head, "It's part of the contract for genies…. Phenomenal cosmic power… itty bitty living space."

Mick frowned at this, "That… sounds like it sucks."

"Yeah…. But to be free! Not have to go 'what do you want?' What do you want?' What do you want?' To be my own master… that would be greater than all the magic, all the treasure in all the world!"

Sensing that he was getting a bit more animated, Constantine nervously cleared his throat and shrugged nonchalantly. "But let's get fucking real here, it's never going to happen… time to wake up and smell the bullshit."

"Well… why can't it happen?" Cisco asked.

"Kid, the only way I get out of this contract, is if my Master wishes me free… guess how often that's happened."

Mick thought to himself for a few moments, before shrugging. "I'll do it… I'll set you free."

"Yeah. Fucking. Right."

"Honest! First two wishes are mine, and then the third wish will set you free. Cross my heart and all that crap."

Constantine frowned at him for a few moments, before sighing wearily. "Alright, here's hoping… but enough about that, what's the first wish gonna be?"

"Well… there's this man- "

"- I'm going to stop you right there." Constantine held up a hand, "I don't know if you want me to kill him, or make him fall in love with you, but it ain't happening!"

"You'd understand if you saw him… I swear, his smirk with those eyes almost made me- "

"Alright, alright, alright…" Constantine shook his head and held up his hands for Mick to stop, "… You like like him, I get it."

"Yeah… except he's the prince of Central City. Heir to the throne and all that." Mick shrugged, "To even have a chance, I'd need to be- "He stopped and looked at the genie, "- Can you make me a prince?"

"Is that an official wish? You gotta say the words."

Mick smirked at this, "Constantine. I wish for you to make me a prince!"

"Done and done…" Constantine started to circle the larger man, narrowing his eyes in thought, "… first, we need to do something about these clothes…. This screams 'thief'…." He paused for a moment, before he clicked his fingers and Mick found himself wearing a dark blazer and trousers, a white shirt and a tie.

"Actually, forget the tie and open the shirt a little, it'll look much better."

Another click, and the changes were made, with Mick turning from side to side and examining himself in the recently conjured mirror.

"Perfect… but there's something missing." Constantine thought to himself for a few moments, before snapping his fingers, "An advisor, Princes always need someone with them to organise the meetings and all that… kid, come here."

Ignoring how Cisco muttered something about being "not a kid", Constantine snapped his fingers again, and Cisco's clothes were replaced by a smart tuxedo and glasses.

"I don't need glasses." He tried to protest, only for Constantine to wave his hand in dismissal.

"Every advisor has glasses. It makes them look smarter. Alright, you've got the outfit, you've got the advisor, but we're no-where near done yet! You'll be the best bloody prince there's ever been!"