AN/
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Warning: Slash
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Plotting Planning and Worshipping
Chapter Four
By ScreamForSOH
Draco's POV
BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH…
I swear to god that was all Pansy seemed capable of, constantly nitpicking about people's clothing, hair, friends, family, speech, mannerisms, expressions, stance, posture, makeup, intelligence, money, shoes, wand, name, everything. Each morning was the same, she would see something she didn't like and tell me all about it, what was so wrong, how it should be, go into the background of everything the 'culprit' had done wrong during their time at Hogwarts and once she was done with that person, which would usually last until we got to the Great Hall and started eating, she would then start complaining about the food, the set out of the food, the set up of the furniture in the room, the placement of their table, the layout of the school, the spells on the ceiling, anything that could be complained about, was complained about. And that's how it was all… day… long.
Now don't get me wrong, I agreed with most of what she was saying, this didn't mean that I wanted to hear about it. Especially in the morning, and with that off key whine that the stupid bimbo got when annoyed, I'm surprised I never forced a muting potion down her throat. The thing was, I still loved her, well, loved her like a sister; because I knew for a fact that the voice, the mannerisms, the flirty touches, it was all fake. It had to be, her behaviour meant that she wasn't paid attention to, and therefore could eavesdrop so much easier. Plus, being known as the gossip meant that she was the first to find out anything, because she was the first anyone went to, whether to spread a rumour or to verify its validity. Which would build the information she already held and with a mind built for gossip; she was able to keep tabs on almost everything going on in the school, without the hassle or risk of documenting it. The one thing she loved most was knowing how to get under people's skin and how to keep herself and friends happy.
Each morning I would sit beside her and nod, muttering a "Yes Pansy, of course Pansy, really Pansy?" whenever necessary to keep her happy and to keep the façade up of who I was meant to be. Though at times I wasn't sure of who that was, I didn't know what I was doing most of the time or why, the only thing I tended to pay attention to was school work, and for some unknown reason Potter, though I try and tell Pansy it's all in her mind, though deep down inside I know that I do pay attention to him, and really the only reason I will allow in my mind is that I want to understand how he deals with the pressure of the war on top of everything else. I kept up with schoolwork to prove that I have a brain, and that I'm not just some tool to be used in the war, but also to prove that I am not someone who has everything and so won't work a day in my life.
Beyond Pansy, I don't really talk to anyone anymore, and even then it's not like we used to. I've found the other Slytherin's reactions to Dumbledore's death just plain wrong. They treat me as a god now, and though they had already looked at me as their leader, even early in my schooling years, I don't think that following me word for word is the way it should be, especially after last years' events and their belief that I am one of Voldemort's pawns. I had noticed this year that a lot of the younger years acting and thinking as the children of Death Eaters were expected, and I hated it. They had only just started opening up and believing that maybe they didn't have to be like their parents, that they could change the name of Slytherin to something more dignified and be looked up to rather than just outright feared. But all the work I had put in building up my name and status in the house to help them was to waste for all it did was prove to them that they are meant to become murderers, and at an even earlier age. I was meant to look out for their happiness, to ensure that they would survive their years at Hogwarts and have them as good memories with friendships and bonds with others to last later in life, have them learn how to make choices of their own, but all that ended up happening was they heard of their house leader turning dark, murdering joining the Dark Lord's ranks and if that's how I was acting, then they should to, as I had drilled into them very early on.
Talk about backfire.
And though Pansy tries to tell me to stop blaming myself for everything, for the little shits starting to beg their parents to let them go on raids, to learn dark spells, I can't help but feel responsible each time one of my house leaves school early to help their lord. Such a waste, for each of them were so talented and special in their own way, now they are marked and have just become yet another cloaked figure, so much the same as every other person in his ranks. What was worse, they had given up their education for him, so if he fails, they will fail with him, but should he succeed, well what are they going to do then? With no training beyond fighting and raids, they're more or less going to only end up doing meagre jobs that they should never even consider doing with the talents I can see at such a young age.
Every day, I have to keep a brave face and pretend that I still believe I own the school, because with that appearance, who's going to dare question me? So after breakfast Pansy and I would head off to class, her complaints continuing on, sneering and leering, until one morning I noticed that her heart didn't seem to be in the bitching, her mind seemed elsewhere. After years of hearing her morning after morning complaining, a slight change was easy enough to pick up on after all. Waiting until we had entered the Transfiguration room, which was thankfully empty at that point, I asked her what was up. She just smiled and told me nothing was wrong and continued complaining about who Hannah Abbott thought she was wearing her hair the same way Pansy had earlier that week, with more enthusiasm than before.
If I didn't know any better, I would say she was up to something and she was keeping him out of it. But why would she do that?
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