Unexplored truth, it seemed was a haunting thing. It had dragged Valkyrie straight down an inescapable mouth in the dirt with nothing but the dying of the light to ease her passing into the ever looming dimness. Memories of those who had once trusted her cut her like stones as she scraped down the wall of her own head. Self-hatred had previously caved over her, its reeking malice everywhere. The suffocation had been intense.
But then there was a voice, reaching from beyond the darkness. It soothed her and promised there would always be hope. It didn't lend a hand down to help her up, because it believed she could do it and that was more strength than anyone could physically give her.
Valkyrie hadn't realised the constant ache for food in her belly until Skulduggery placed some steaming liquid in front of her. This should have been unsurprising, really, as she evidently had not eaten since –
She shuddered and cast the thought of Darquesse having possession of Valkyrie body away from her mind.
The rich scent of chicken soup drifted towards her and she felt the heat radiating onto her face. It made her hollow stomach rage and without even picking up the eloquent silver spoon laid out in from of her, she grabbed the delicate bowl and shoved it up her mouth. The heat spread though her body. It trickled down her throat, slightly too warm, but she didn't care. In about thirty seconds, much to Skulduggery's amusement, she had guzzled her way through the whole bowl.
In an odd sort of way, it was comforting to see that at least chicken soup hadn't changed. She laughed out loud and received a puzzled look from Skulduggery in return.
"Wow," she smiled, "I'd forgotten how great chicken soup is. You know, it's like a warm hug on a rainy day?"
"Yes," he said in a very serious voice, "I absolutely agree. I just can't have enough of the stuff. Had twenty portions of it in the last week."
"Wait, what?" she said, confused.
"Oh dear, Valkyrie. Your IQ seems to have lowered even more that it already was. It didn't think that was possible, but again you seem to exceed even the expectation of one with over four hundred years of odd experiences."
After a few seconds it clicked and Valkyrie rolled her eyes.
"Oh my God, Skulduggery," she groaned, "Apparently your jokes are getting even worse too. I didn't think that was possible."
"Wait, no," he protested, "You can't say that. I said first that I didn't think it was possible you could get more stupid, you can't use that back on me."
"Who said so?"
"Well, I'm pretty sure you did at some point."
"Me?" she said, widening her eyes in pretend innocence. "I did not."
"Yes, you did," he insisted, "It was that time you called me a moron and then I called you a moron -because you are clearly the moron out of the two of us - and then you said that I couldn't call you a moron, because you were apparently not a moron."
She tried her best to keep a straight face, but she felt her top lip betraying her by trembling then ended up laughing uncontrollably, "You, Skulduggery Pleasant, are a total moron."
"I think you meant possibly 'total genius', but as you're not that bright yourself I think I could find a place in my metaphorical heart to forgive you."
She rolled her eyes then made an agile swipe at his fedora. Valkyrie seized it then held her prize triumphantly in the air.
"Not such a genius to avoid that," she teased.
Skulduggery shook his head then hurled himself at Valkyrie. Mid-laugh, she was caught off-guard and her body soared backwards, feeling the air trajectory shift as Skulduggery cushioned her fall against the sofa. He strode over and tried to grab his hat, but she clutched it firmly and hugged it against her chest.
"Oh my God, you're going to regret that!" she shrieked, passing a movement through her free hand ready to take her revenge.
He froze, his arm still outstretched to he and watched as Valkyrie's smiled faded. She stared blankly at her hand as it hung there, limp. On top of all the guilt and horror, she hadn't really seen the gaping vacuum left in her personality. Magic, with all its beauties and flaws, had been essential to her life before just like her ability to read and write. Despite all the years she had used it, the anticipation and adrenaline seemed as clear as she first remembered as a twelve year old. In fact, as she had developed and grown with her magic she'd began to appreciate it more and more. The addiction had bleed into her like a drug and maybe it was that in the end that had opened the door for Darquesse in her attempt for the destruction of humanity. Skulduggery had been right, power – especially the sort magic brought – was intoxicating.
The hat slipped between her fingers and landed softly on the floor. She stared at it for a moment, transfixed by how even though the history and the anguish and the suffering it had seen, it still remained creaseless.
Valkyrie saw Skulduggery's gloved hands reach to pick the fallen object up.
"How do you do it, Skulduggery?" Her voice was thin, as though there was a hand tight around her throat. "How do you…"
A voice flew from behind, "Forget? Accept? Move on? Learn to live with yourself?"
China Sorrows looked at her, a painful, broken ghost of a smile etched upon her usually composed features. It was like the usual glass covering her eyes was smashed and they looked at Valkyrie sadly. The rawness of this new unmasked China Sorrows would have made Valkyrie feel uncomfortable if she wasn't so desperate.
"How do you think I carry on, knowing that I am partly responsible for the deaths of Skulduggery's wife and child? A child." China's voice cracked.
"But you carry on, don't you?" said Valkyrie, not bothering to hide the apprehension slashing out of her that she needed to here this. That she needed to be reassured.
"Carry on?" China laughed, "My child do you have any idea how ludicrous that sounds to me? You don't carry on, not really. Physically, you walk on, yes. You meet new people, maybe find a new hobby to try and burry everything under, but really you're stuck watching your same mistakes over and over again. It doesn't change what you did: some things I've seen will as always be as bright as flame in my head and over the years as you learn more and more of what it is to be human you find even more atrocities in what you did. Tiny details that seemed irrelevant before just replay and replay and you know and understand that pressing the pause button would simply be an insult to their memory."
Out of the corner of her eye, Valkyrie noticed that Skulduggery wasn't looking at China as she spoke, but simply started into a corner of the room. Not for the first time, she wondered what went on behind those empty eye sockets.
"I know," Skulduggery said, still in an almost trance. He snapped up and turned to Valkyrie. "But for you it can be different – you are not directly responsible, not like me and -"he paused, "China."
"But if I had been stronger, then she would never have taken control, all those people wouldn't have died," Valkyrie interjected.
"From the information we seem to have gathered, it's incredible that you held Darquesse off for that long anyway. With her immense power as shown, she should have had a lot of influence on you," said China, "Remember that in itself seems to be a miracle."
"But it doesn't matter, does it? Whatever she did, it's still on me. It was still because of me that it happened."
"You are not to blame, Valkyrie," Skulduggery said softly, "Of the three people in this room, you are the one that we still have hope for not the responsibility for a teenager to deal with Darquesse. It should have been me, or China. We should have helped you."
Despite him being Valkyrie's best friend, Valkyrie seemed to find little comfort in his words.
"I know why you don't believe me Valkyrie. Especially me," he added.
Valkyrie bit her lip guiltily and sadness flushed inside, because she knew something had changed between them. It was unspoken - and something she hadn't really realised - but it caught on her throat like ice cold water.
Before, Valkyrie had learnt to forgive Skulduggery for the monster he had been as Lord Vile, despite the initial shock. It was her own stinging fear that let her accept what he was. She was so terrified that she'd end up like him and it was easier to deal with if she wasn't so completely repulsed by the wreck of a man that stood in front of her. But she could see now, the mass killer he was; the murderer of his best friend's own mother. His thoughts and emotions were no longer a spider web of mystery impossible to untangle as they before. Now everything seemed to lay flat clearly in front of her, because now she could see how horribly similar they were.
"I'm sorry, Valkyrie, "China said, her face half-pitiful and half something that Valkyrie couldn't quite identify.
"Sorry about what?"
China sighed, "You think the only option ahead of you is to end up like Skulduggery or myself: two people that aren't exactly known for their compassion. But I promise you this: we aren't the only futures that you could choose."
"I don't know!" Valkyrie said, her arms raised above her head helplessly, "I just don't know. I'm sorry."
Valkyrie spun around and stalked off away from them. She could feel their gazes latched onto her, but she kept moving. When she got to the small room that had been appointed as her own she shut the door, not bothering to make little noise and flung herself down onto the bed. The mashed her head against the pillow, shut her eyes and let herself sink into the darkness. The duvet was soft against her skin, but it wasn't reassuring like it used to be. It reminded her of her own bed – back in Haggard – and she clenched her muscles in pain as she remembered how Alice used to wake her up early in the mornings, grinning that little grin of hers and giggling in glee. She hadn't noticed she'd been holding a breath, but let and it out and as she did tried to push and thoughts of her family or her former life away.
As China had built the shack for a place to hide against her many enemies, it was unsurprising that most of it was in the form of an underground bunker. Even so, when Valkyrie had discovered that the outside was indeed deceptive she'd gasped in astonishment, a feeling which was immediately replaced by excitement and an eager curiosity to explore. They'd been a lot more rooms than she'd anticipated for, but most were just filled with endless wooden shelves of delicate books and some with odd objects she assumed were some kind of magical instruments or artefacts. She'd really wanted to see what they did, but she had enough knowledge of the magical world to know that this wasn't such a good idea. Furthermore, China would probably skin her, then bury her alive, if Valkyrie ever damaged or broke anything by accident.
There weren't a lot of rooms made for actual living space, due to China's general choice to be alone (although Valkyrie sometimes wondered if this is what China really wanted). However there was a few bedrooms and Valkyrie had chosen a small one, seeing as she didn't have many possessions to store. The walls were mainly white but there was a pretty lilac floral pattern that floated around the edge of the ceiling that she liked to look at. The paint looked to be a thin coating and there was some odd splodges where it hadn't been painted evenly. For example there was a spot like this just over her bed, which was also simple, with plain white covers and a wooden headboard at the top. It wasn't exactly lavish, but Valkyrie had more pressing things to worry about than her living arrangements.
There was a gentle tap at the door in the corner, but Valkyrie didn't move her head from where it was squashed in the pillow. She really didn't want to talk to Skulduggery or even China right now, but she doubted whoever it was would leave. As she suspected, she soon hear the bottom of the door scraping against the wooden panels on the floor.
She let the silence settle for a moment, save for her and the other person's breathing. Breathing? China's breathing, then.
"Skulduggery suggested that you go outside to the forest. He said you'd feel less trapped out there."
Valkyrie didn't reply. If Skulduggery wanted to tell her something, he could do it himself. Although, as it pained her to admit it, she would feel less trapped outside. He really did know her well.
China continued, "You know, I forget you're only eighteen, sometimes, with everything that has happened to you. You act far more like a woman than many of the mages I have known for years. But then, occasionally I guess your youth returns to you, as if you were trying to catch up on your missed adolescence."
Valkyrie unwillingly smiled onto the pillow. It was slightly amusing how she returned to her room when she couldn't handle something – a stereotypical action of a teenager. She turned her head so China could see her.
"Yeah, okay. Sounds good," said Valkyrie.
A few hours later and after swallowing down a bit of bread, Valkyrie was back wandering through the forest she had arrived in. It seemed lighter than when she had arrived: the trees less intimidating, the wildlife less agitated and the natural paths more clear. The lack of company, whilst not being under the threat of danger was nice. She was alone, but she didn't feel lonely.
For about ten minutes, she walked, just listening to thoughts inside her head that wouldn't shut up. She detected the sound of water trickling she and after pushing through some wild undergrowth she found its source. Valkyrie emerged from the leaves that irritatingly flicked back in her face. Her mouth and eyes wide, she instantly dropped back behind the greenery.
The water that she had heard was a shallow stream, but around it was a full on campsite. There were about ten tents of dull green and grey colours scattered around. In the centre there was the remains of a campfire, soft wisps of smoke still flickering up into the clear sky above.
Valkyrie snuck another glance. This time she noticed that is was apparently isolated. She couldn't hear any human voices, so maybe whoever was there had gone on a day trip. Even so, she felt slightly uneasy about being here. She crept back, now wishing to get back the bunker, which was some half hour away. Now she'd wished she'd brought a phone, or had some way to contact Skulduggery or China.
Valkyrie rushed back to the bunker, the leaves beneath her feet disturbing the leaves as she hurried past. The door was unusually wide open as she flew in panic.
"China? Skulduggery?"
A skull appeared from up the stepladder leading down to the bunker. When Valkyrie had first been here, it had been covered with a rug, but now the gap in the floor was clearly visible to see.
"Yes?" said Skulduggery.
Valkyrie put a hand on her chest and breathed out, relieved and said, "Don't worry, it was just –"
"Valkyrie, move!" Skulduggery yelled.
She twisted around and her muscles froze as she saw Saracen Rue's fist fly towards her with a hardened expression on his face.
