Callie could hear someone whispering. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but she didn't care. Sounds meant nothing to her. The silence meant nothing to her. She couldn't feel anything, yet she felt everything all at once.
''You weren't on the freaking plane!'' someone whispered. Callie looked up and was surprised to find nobody there. It had come from her head; from her own mind. But, Callie reasoned, it hadn't really. It had come from Arizona's mouth.
If she had the energy, she would break down. But she didn't; she didn't have the energy.
The sounds from the hospital came from so far away they felt like they were coming from another universe. That's just what happens when you don't sleep; it's what happens when you don't feel.
Callie wanted to see Arizona, but she didn't. She didn't want to see the woman she felt like she'd destroyed; the woman who felt like Callie had destroyed her. Callie saw the look in Arizona's eyes as she told her she's lost everything. Those eyes had accused Callie of taking everything from her.

Suddenly, those eyes were there. Callie stared at Arizona through the window. Arizona was standing there, unmoving. She wasn't laughing this time, but Callie could not read the expression on her face. It felt like Arizona had all the power; it felt like she was enjoying it.
Callie blinked and Arizona was gone.

***

Hunt saw Arizona walking away from Callie's room.
''Hey'', he called after her, running to catch up. ''You ok?''
''Yeah,'' replied Arizona, ''yeah''.
''Is she any better?''
''I don't know,'' said Arizona, ''I've not been in. I erm…I don't know if she wants me to''
Hunt looked at her sympathetically.
''Is she recovering?'' she asked Hunt.
''The wound is healing,'' said Hunt, matter of factly, ''but, to be honest, we're concerned about her psychological state. She's still not eating. Or talking''
''I don't know what to say''
''We don't know what to do. We need to see some improvement very quickly''

***

Meredith came in.
''I brought you a Twinkie'' she said, placing it next to her, ''I don't know if you like Twinkies but then I don't know anyone who doesn't like them. But if you don't, that's totally fine. But I brought you one anyway. But you don't have to eat it''.
''Thanks'', said Callie, not touching it.
''I can get you something else'' offered Meredith.
''No, it's fine. Thank you''.
''How are you today?''
''Yeah, I'm fine'' stated Callie.
''You're not fine'', said Meredith. ''I've seen fine. This isn't fine''.
''I think Arizona is planning something else'' said Callie, finally.
''like what? What do you mean?''
''I dunno, just, like, the way she looked at me this morning''
''she's been here?''
''she didn't come in. she just stood outside. It was the way she looked at me''
''in what way?''
''oh, I don't know. Like she was planning something''

***

''She thinks Arizona's planning something''
''Like what?'' asked Cristina
''She's not planning anything'' said Karev.
''I don't know, she sounded pretty convinced''
''And she has been weird lately'' pointed out Cristina
''She hasn't been weird'', said Karev, ''she's upset about Callie''.
''she doesn't look upset'' Cristina argued.
''Yeah'', Meredith added, ''if that were Derek…''
''She feels guilty, is all'' Karev continued to argue.
''And she sent that message''
''Yeah, well…'' started Karev, but stopping suddenly.
''What is it?'' asked Meredith.
Karev looked thoughtful for a moment. ''she's lying'' he said.
''who's lying?'' asked Cristina.
''Callie'', he replied. ''she's lying. About that message. Robbins left her cell at home that day''.

***

''What's your game, Torres?'' Karev asked her.
''Did Arizona send you?'' she demanded.
''No, she didn't. Arizona's not even talking about this. Why did you say she sent you a message when she didn't?''
''Who told you about that?''
''it doesn't matter''.
Callie was angry and confused. Had Arizona told him? Was this part of the plan she had? She felt cornered. She didn't know what the plan was, so she didn't know how to play; she didn't know how to protect herself.
''Just leave me alone, Karev''
''Look, you need to talk to Arizona. She made a mistake. And yeah, I know, I shouldn't be getting involved. But you're hurting her. I know she hurt you, but it's not a competition. She's not a bad person. She deserves a chance. Just talk to her''.
Then he left.

Callie wanted to talk to Arizona, but she was afraid. She didn't want to face what she'd done to her; what had broken her so much that she punished her by sleeping with Lauren. Arizona was still punishing her. She'd sent Karev to remind her how much she's destroyed her. Callie knew she deserved it.
Her cell beeped again. It was a message from Arizona:
''destroy yourself like you destroyed me''.

Callie didn't know exactly what that meant. Arizona was cold and broken, thought Callie. She is dead inside. Callie wanted to cry, but the days when she could seemed so far in the past.
She knew what she had to do; she had to destroy herself.
She looked around the room. There were wires she could destroy herself with, but they were on the other side of the room.
Callie pulled herself out of bed. It was difficult to move on one leg. She'd never realised just how difficult it was until now. She stumbled and grabbed the bed. She realised that, deep down, she was comforted by knowing this struggle was only temporary; that if she weren't about to do what she was about to do, she would one day have full use of her leg again.
It was weird, how people didn't articulate thoughts like that; that they never realised that thoughts they never felt were comforting them.
She felt pain for Arizona that she'd never felt before. Then crashing guilt as she realised she probably should have.

She had the wires now. She didn't think she could make it back to the bed, but she had to. She had to reach the curtain rail.
She pulled herself onto the bed, then upright onto her feet.
she tied the wire to the curtain rail. She tied a noose into the other end. She placed her neck into the noose and thought, ''ok, this is it'', before letting herself fall.