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Hello all, Again. We're back, but sadly Sokka and Iroh weren't ready to be published this week, but Good News! This week's chapter is by a new author, who has joined our little circle of mayhem. This one didn't go through quite as much editing as previous chapters, but it should still be up to standard quality for grammar &c.
Read, and then review if you feel inclined to - we'd appreciate it.
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The smoldering remains of L's house were still lit by embers, crackling all around him. Half of his face was burnt, and he was in agonizing pain. He clutched the wall for support but collapsed on what used to be his chair. Gasping for air, he reached up and pulled himself up, the flames still crackling about him. He heard another sound; cackling. An evil, menacing laughter, a malicious, malevolent malefic laughter, which masticated his eardrums, mauled by the massive shockwave . L opened his eyes and peered through the smoke and ash to gaze upon a frightening figure. Suddenly, a fanatic fanfare of frightful fiendish laughter fountained from the Figure's mouth, frightened by the fierce fickle fiend, L stood motionless.
The character walked toward L slowly, stealing the silence with the not so subtle sideways sliding of his shoes' soles across the surface of the smoldering, smoky floor. The silent persona lifted his face slowly, still laughing, and spoke in the sinister style of the snake:
"And I thought my alliteration was bad."
The man was about six feet tall, standing upright, wearing a purple coat, green vest, blue pants, and abnormally large clown shoes. But most disturbing of all was his makeup—his face was painted white, with blue shadowing around his eyes and red smearing across his mouth and two inches above where his lips ended—on either check, a scar,which made him appear to be constantly smiling.
The Joker stepped forward and reached out a hand.
"Need a hand?" he asked, grinning.
L reached up to grab the hand, but the Joker let go of it and L fell flat on his ass, realizing immediately that he was holding a fake rubber hand.
"Ha! Hoo! Hee! Need a hand! Get it? Ahahahaaaaa……" The Joker, suddenly serious, then glared down at L. "Sooo… not feeling too whimsical today? That's okay, because today we are going to have—"
"TRYOUTS!" The voice sounded exactly the same as the clown standing above L, only it came from a different source. What appeared to be an exact replica of the Joker standing above L swaggered into the room - except that he was wearing a hospital nurse's outfit.
"Who in Aang's name is this?" asked the first Joker. "Hello beautiful," he called out to the new Joker, "…and you are beautiful."
The "nurse" Joker scoffed at his counterpart. "Actually I'm a guy, but thanks anyway."
"Well this is certainly awkward," remarked the original Joker. "It reminds me of the time—"
"When I got these scars," finished the nurse Joker. He then proceeded to grab L by the collar of his shirt and drag him upright into a standing position. The nurse Joker took a knife out of one of his pockets and stuck it in L's mouth, and pressed it against the side that wasn't burnt.
"You see, I had this turtle…" he began, and proceeded to recount a full tale of his life ambitions and dreams, and about the time when they were suddenly shattered by his drunken father beating him with a broken wine glass, which would eventually lead to him receiving an odd lightning bolt shaped scar on his forehead, which in turn lead him to be accepted into a full-time wizard military academy, which lead to him to take on one of the greatest quests of all time, which included destroying an evil charm by throwing it into a boiling pit of water, and though L stopped paying attention after the aliens in the nurse Joker's story invaded for the third time, he managed to piece together that this, in turn, lead to the close death of nurse Joker, who was only to be saved by a dashingly handsome vampire named Edmund, with whom he fell desperately in love with... and the story continued in this convoluted, mind-breaking fashion for five days until it finally concluded with the fall of the Roman Empire.
"...And that's how I got these scars," finished the nurse Joker. L, his eyes bloodshot from not sleeping in three weeks, nodded absent-mindedly. The nurse Joker sighed.
"No one ever listens to the end…it's the best part! Anyway, what we can take away from this is, I'm like a car chasing dogs. Even if I ran one over, I wouldn't know where to stop for dinner!" Upon this remark he pulled a loaded revolver and placed it into L's hand, as he took the knife out of L's mouth with the other hand.
"Introduce a little anar—" BANG! The instant the trigger entered within L's reach he fired a shot straight between the nurse Joker's eyes. The sound startled the original Joker, who had been sleeping at the time, it was roughly 11:00 at night, instantly jolted awake, and noticed his clone dropping to the ground.
"Well that was truly tragic. I would have loved to—wait a tic, that's it!" He jumped up, pulled out two revolvers, and leapt to where the door used to be in L's apartment.
"I honestly can't tell, and don't care to tell where you're going after this, but I've got cloning to do!" And with that he leapt out off the burnt apartment, which had in the previous three weeks ceased to be burning in one way or another. L simply stared, looked down at the revolver in his hand, reached up and felt the burnt side of his face, then ran back out of his apartment. There were zombies in the streets; people running around with baseball bats, and the messiah of the spirit world and a playboy billionaire genius teaming up to stop it.
It was time L introduced a little anarchy.
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NEXT WEEK: Sokka and Iroh Appear! "What else" you ask? We don't know! It hasn't been written yet! Possibly Ichigo, possibly Konata. As we said, we need to put ideas into the computer, so we don't know yet.
