The Cost of Pride
Megatoxic
**Disclaimer: I do not own any Bioware/DA characters. I am simply an avid fan with a day dream about her favorite RPG game.**
[Trigger Warning in This Chapter]
Chapter 4: The Magic Within
I watched silently from my new pillow-less bed as Solas set wards around the cabin. It was an interesting sight to watch if I'm quite honest. He worked wordlessly and wherever he placed a ward there was a soft blue light that seemed to come from his hands. Where the ward was placed, the area appeared to flare up and spread out like a spider webb until it reached the ward next to it before dimming and becoming invisible. The strangest part about watching him place the wards was being able to feel what he was doing. There were raised goosebumps on my flesh and I felt something warm seeming to pulsate from within him and stretch out to meet me. When he was done, he climbed into his bed with his feet pointed in my direction so I could no longer see him. "Ma serannas Solas," I said quietly not expecting him to hear so I was surprised when a faint, "Hamin, Fallen," met my ears.
I was unsure what that word meant, but I was assuming that he wanted me to be silent. I soon heard his breathing become soft and even, and I figured that he had slipped away into the fade. In a way, I envied him his escape. I took this time to reflect on the past day. I learned from Cassandra that I was unconscious three days prior to awakening. Apparently, I also had magic that I had never used in my life, and The Dread Wolf himself was now my keeper. Oh and said wolf believes me to have elven blood in my veins.
All I could do was sigh and roll my eyes at the whole situation. I had no idea who created the portal that brought me here, but I had every intention of finding them as soon as possible so that I could go home. I glanced over at Solas' feet and found myself thinking about the man in general. He was packing more sex appeal than the game really let on in my opinion. I would never have guessed that he was so tall. He easily stands about 5 feet 11 inches up to possible 6 feet tall… I mean are all elven men that tall? It didn't seem very likely from the lore that I knew of, but I hadn't met any others as of yet to compare him too. His eyes were a brilliant shade of blue and his voice was as hypnotizing as I remembered from my play throughs. When I had first entered the cabin I had been terrified of him, but as we had talked I had managed to calm down a bit. When he had broached the subject of me being half elven I almost denied it, but hey… when in Rome. The truth is that I had never grown hair on my body other than my head. Every girl I'd ever known had always been immensely jealous of this fact, and the two men I'd been with had appreciated it. As of five days ago, I would not have considered it a possibility, but now I wasn't so sure. What if one of my parents had been an elf? At this point, I couldn't say it was impossible.
My father, Vaughn Silcox, had died when I was five due to a drunk driver hitting him while he was out jogging. I had a handful of memories of him and they all included him looking like a normal human man. My mother, Velahra Silcox, had been a single mother after that and as a CEO at her firm I rarely saw her. I knew that I looked like her per everyone else telling me so, but I did not see her for months at a time and this made it difficult to really pay attention to her appearance after so much neglect. Don't get me wrong, everything was provided for me and I never wanted for anything. Martha, the live-in nanny that mother had hired for me, attended to all my needs both while she was gone and when she was present. My mother was a distant figurehead in my life. It had been a very lonely childhood and the day after I turned eighteen I had moved in with my twenty five year old then boyfriend, Mitchell, and I hadn't spoken to my mother since that day. Surely, I would have noticed if she was elven.
My fingers subconsciously ran through my curls and I was thankful that Cassandra had been kind enough to take me to the bathhouse. In the game, it was never mentioned or seen in Haven but it was actually a building behind the Chantry that was built over a hot spring. The seeker had also stopped by the requisition tent before taking me there and had acquired a change of clothes for me. When I had taken off my tattered sundress, I noticed that my wallet and keys were missing. I asked Cassandra if anyone had found any of my belongings, but she told me that nothing else was found on or around me. I suppose they must have been dropped somewhere in the attack I had endured. I sighed heavily again and rolled onto my side so that I was facing the wall.
I was terrified to begin "training" tomorrow. How would I ever begin to use something I'd never known that I even possessed. Also, I was feeling equal parts excitement and fear at the thought of meeting the other members of the Inquisition that the Herald had surrounding her so far. Was Blackwall here yet? Had she gone to collect Mother Giselle yet? I was eager to know where exactly on the timeline in Haven I had fallen in at. I had to remind myself that I could worry about all that the next day. I really needed some good ole shut-eye. Before I drifted off my last thought was about reigning in my country accent and out of place sayings.
I was so small and frightened. I buried my face into my mother's long red curls and clung to her fiercely as she ran through the forest. I had no idea what we were running from, but I knew that it had my mother terrified so of course I was too. She kept stumbling and falling down as tears streamed down her face, "I will get you somewhere safe Fallen. My sweet dalen, you will never have to live in such fear again." She kept repeating this to me like a mantra as she continued to push our way through the forest…
I awoke enough to realize that I had been dreaming and I rolled over to my other side so I was facing towards Solas' feet again.
Trigger Warning
Then I found myself being held down. I was in the back of that horrible black van, and my attacker was on top of me. His gloved fingers were pushing up my sundress and I felt his breath hot on my neck. I would not be this woman again. I would slit my own wrists and allow my blood to bleed out of my body before allowing another man to take away my light.
I felt something inside me force its way to the surface as if it was trying to make me explode from the inside out. My attacker was suddenly rolling off of me and screaming. I opened my eyes and all I could see was fire because he was literally on fire! A blood curdling scream left my throat as I backed away from him…
Trigger End
I woke still screaming and felt strong hands on my shoulders shaking me. "Fallen! FALLEN! Please, you must wake up!" Solas' panicked voice got me to open my eyes. When I did, I could see his brilliant eyes focused on mine, "You must stop this. You will burn our cabin down if you do not." I looked behind him and saw the curtains in the window were on fire. As soon as I thought, oh no, please stop, the flames died down and disappeared. The smoke lingered in the cabin, but the curtains were burnt, crispy tatters at that point.
Tears sprang into my eyes as I met Solas' gaze again, "I'm so sorry." That was all I got out before I started coughing from the smoke. Solas released my shoulders and went to open the shutters on the window. I could see through my blurry eyes that the skyline was starting to brighten. A new day was coming for me. That's when the tears really took over and I was sobbing hard. I could not deal with this! Then I felt a gentle hand on my back and a warm body sitting on the edge of my bed, "You have never used your magic before." He said it softly, but I could tell it wasn't question.
I shook my head and brushed my curls out of my wet eyes, "I promise you I had no idea that I was a mage until I fell through that portal." Solas nodded encouragingly, "I believe you now. That was the mark of a new mage. It was all emotional and you pulled on the fade too quickly and in too large of an amount for the little damage you did." He tilted his head slightly and his eyes narrowed a bit, "I am unsure until we get into your training, but I believe you have a rather larger pool of mana than most."
For some reason, his reaction pissed me off, "Oh and what about your wards? I thought those were supposed to keep me safe!" At that Solas' eyes softened as did his whole demeanor, "They did Fallen. Without the wards, you would have been easy prey; however, the wards do not protect us from the magic within us or our own thoughts and fears. Sometimes we have internal demons."
"You must think I'm so ridiculous," I stated sullenly while looking down at a spot on my blanket. I felt a long graceful finger slide under my chin and pull my face up to meet his, "I do not trust you and I do not believe the stories of your past; however, in this matter I promise to help you. You are not alone in your fear or lack of control as every mage experiences this in the beginning. It is a beautifully promising sign that you put out the fire so quickly. Do not sell yourself short." As I looked into the enchanting eyes of Fen'harel, I could see why he had been so successful and powerful at betrayal. He was an exquisite liar.
Translations:
ma serannas: my thanks
hamin: rest
dalen: child or small one
Resource:
http/dragonage./wiki/Elven_language
