Precious Time; Chapter Four

Cut it out, drop it, count me out - baby stop it
Life is too short, so why waste precious time
Life is too short, so why waste
Precious time, precious time, precious time
Oh, precious time
Life is too short, so why waste precious time

Emily came over every day when I needed her to; she changed the bandages and helped me wash my hair. She said it would take months for the wounds to heal fully and to never expect my stomach to look the same, the scratches on my arm should heal fully though, I had moved my arm soon enough that Jake's nails hadn't gotten too deep.

I unceremoniously said good-bye to all two-piece swimsuits; it was side affect I could live with.

Two weeks had passed and I hadn't heard or seen Jacob, Emily gave me updates but they were all dire. He was still taking the whole incident so personally even after I told him (through Emily) countless times that it wasn't. He had cut himself off from the entire village, living in seclusion in the nearby forest.

I had told Charlie that I had fallen down the stairs and hurt my back; I just had to make sure that Charlie never saw any of the bandages. I didn't really have to explain Emily coming over, even after coming out of my zombie phase things were never the same with Angela and Jessica. I guess in Charlie's mind it made sense that instead of explaining everything I would just go a make new friends, I didn't want to be bothered with his questions so I didn't ask.

Life slowly went back to normal, not pre-zombie normal. But normal enough for me to go to school again and Emily to stop coming over every morning to help me shower and change the bandages.

But, Jacob never called.

I called over there at least once a day and on the bad days- well, much more frequently than once.

"Is he okay?" Emily had come over after school, not just to help me with the bandages (now just a precautionary, wouldn't want to accidentally rip the scabs open and have them bleed everywhere at school) but also just to talk. It would be hard to explain everything that had happened to anyone at school.

"He's fine, Bella, as fine as one can be. Sam was like this for months before I got through to him," thanks for the spark of hope.

"Can you drive me down there?" staying in Forks obviously wasn't helping the situation and I did need to talk to him again. What was the worse that he could do, ignore me? Attack me again?

And what exactly did I want to talk to him about, did I want to get back together with him, be his girlfriend again? I wasn't sure about the relationship to begin with and maybe this was just a sign that things couldn't work out between us. That Jake being over protective of me and me being so stubborn would always end badly.

But even if romantically things didn't work out between us we could still be friends, right? But, could things ever be the same between us now that we had acknowledged our feelings?

And did I ever really have feelings for Jake? Sure, he was a great friend and he got me through a really hard time, but did I feel the same way as I felt about- Edward?

The answer was simple, the question unnecessary.

I could never feel the same way about someone else as I had about Edward. There would never be another Edward in my life, there never could be. A large part of my heart was still Edward's and always would be Edward's.

Certainly, Jake had a piece of my heart, but not in the same way Edward did. If you were in a burning house and a fireman rescued you from certain death, he would have a piece of you heart too, right?

"I just want to talk to him."

Emily drove me down to La Push and walked me to the forest behind his garage, "He can tell you're here, he'll be here soon," she smiled at me and left. And at the moment I was incredibly thankful for everyone at La Push, it was as if they were my guardian angels; whenever my life got really tough one of them was always there to help me through it. I wasn't sure I would ever be able to thank them properly.

The trees began to rustle and I could hear someone's footsteps coming close, "Jake?"

"Bells, you shouldn't be here. I don't want to hurt you," his face had lost the color and he had lost too much weight. Instead of looking like the man he had grown into he looked like he had only months ago, except, somehow, more awkward.

"What are the chances of that happening again?" I tried to laugh, even though we were out in the open I could still feel the tense waves coming off of him, "You killed Victoria, it's not like she can come and try and attack me again," I paused again and tried to catch his eye, "There aren't any other vampires out there after me."

"Something will happen, Bells. I can't trust myself anymore," he was staying in the shadows of the trees, as if the sun would hurt him. As if it would remind him of the human world he was missing out on.

"I trust you, don't leave me," my entire body went cold and dry. Don't leave me. It was happening again. I would endure more pain, just like last time. Except no one would pull me back up.

"It's better for you, Bells. At least for now, maybe in a few years, when I get a handle on things," he reached out into the light and ran his hand down the side of my face. The heat from his hand nearly hurt my chapped cheeks; he was always so warm, even in the dreariest situations and coldest storms, "Sam and Emily worked out, right? Maybe we can too."

He stepped fully into the light and he looked even paler, his eyes looked pained as he slowly bent down placed a chaste kiss on my lips.

"I love you, Bells," he looked at me. Was he waiting for an answer?

I hadn't made up my mind yet.

Before my decision was made he ran back into the wood.

I slowly walked back to Emily's car and I sat down quietly. She looked at me, waiting for me to say something, but I didn't know what to say. I was being left again because I happened to be a danger magnet. It wasn't something I could help.

"Do you want to go home?" Emily asked.

"Yes," I nodded my head slightly, in case my voice was to soft to hear. I could feel my heart breaking again, albeit it didn't hurt as much as last time and I wasn't going to run after Jacob, it still hurt.

Emily dropped me off, the house was still dark so I assumed that Charlie was still out, "Do you want me to stay?"

"No, thanks though, I just need to think for awhile. I'll call you if I want to talk," I got out of the car and before closing the door and heading up to the silent house I turned back to Emily, "Thanks for everything. You've been really kind and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to return that."

"It's not, problem, Bella. I know where you've been. Things will get better," but she didn't believe what she said. And she hadn't been here before, yes, her love had ripped apart her face. But her love hadn't saved her from the heartbreak of another love. She had no clue where I was right now.

I walked through the door, wondering what I was going to do? Could I forget the few moments of happiness I had spent with Jacob? The few moments where the empty pain was forgotten.

The only thing I wanted to do was lie down on my bed, take a large and dangerous dose of pain killer and sleep off the pain and agony of today.

Of course, since my ex-personal Greek God was sitting on my bed, face buried in my pillow, the whole going to sleep part was going to be a problem.

"Edward? What the hell are you doing here?" I was too shocked to be angry. He had promised he would leave me alone and Alice had promised that she wouldn't tell him anything. Did he see it in her mind that she had talked to me?

"Bella? Is that really you?" he stood up and walked over to me but stopped a few feet short. I suppose being away from me for several months caused my scent to be stronger to him- that or the side wound had opened and I hadn't noticed that pain because of my intense emotional pain.

Either seemed plausible.

"Last time I checked it was me," it came out harsher than I had intended, "Sorry."

"No, you have every right to hate me," he said calmly.

I looked at him closely, "I don't hate you," I wasn't the one who had left the relationship. I smiled though, I sounded like a cliché romance movie.

He ignored my comment though, "Rosalie said you were dead," his voice broke at the last word. Did he really care? "Alice said she saw you jump off a cliff."

"Yeah, I did," I said nonchalantly, his jaw tightened but I continued, "Jake saved me," even though his face was made of stone it fell.

"Oh," his pause made me anxious, "That's the wonderful, Isabella," another pause, "Do you love him?" he had made the assumption that Jacob and I were together.

I sighed and chose my words carefully, "I care for him."

"Well, you know what- that's great for you. Very," he searched for the right word, "human." I scoffed and pain ran through my side, a crease marred his perfect face, "Isabella, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing, I need to go to sleep, that's all," I couldn't look in his eyes and lie to him.

I brushed past him on my way to the bed and he stopped me, his hand grabbed my arm and spun me around, "Why do you smell like werewolf, Isabella?"

Pain was ricocheting inside me, I looked down but still couldn't bring myself to lie, "'Cause Jake's a werewolf," I pulled my arm out of his weakened grasp and sat down on the bed, clenching my teeth together. The wounds had definitely opened up again. Maybe Edward would remember the promise he had made to me: to leave me alone forever.

But in typical Edward fashion he didn't. Instead he came over to the bed and looked me in the eye, what was he trying to say? He lifted my shirt and ran his hands over the white bandages, slowly being seeped with red.

"Bella, he bit you?"

"No," I cried out resentfully, he looked at me incredulously and I sighed, "he scratched me."

"Did you have a doctor look at it?"

"What exactly was I going to tell them? Hey, my werewolf boyfriend got attacked by a vampire and in the process scratched me, can I have some stitches and some antiseptic?" even through the pain I managed to get the sarcasm out, "We don't exactly have a doctor specializing in the supernatural now," I added quietly.

"Can I take you to go see Carlisle?"

And although I knew that would mean I would get to see the rest of the Cullen's I wanted to resist, "It's healed now, that isn't necessary."

"It's bleeding, Bella, you can't fool me."

"Are they all at the house?" I was still not accepting his proposal.

"We are a little ways outside of town."

"How little?"

He looked away, "Canada."

I was quiet certain my jaw dropped to my waist and I said the first thing in mind, "As in bacon?"

Edward's lips twitched into a gorgeous half smile (no, mustn't think that way), "No, as in the country."

Duh. Of course.

But his smile was warm and wonderful, just the way I remembered it. No, better. Everything about Edward was better than how I remembered it.

"Please? It would make me feel better."

I felt a headache beginning. What could it hurt though, as much as I trusted Emily I wasn't to sure about her medical skills and who's to say that the wound wasn't going to get infected or I would develop some sort of horrible side effect like horns or a tail, maybe Emily wasn't being honest with me.

"Fine. But I'm doing it for my own good," couldn't let him think I was doing something for him now, could I?

"Finally starting to look out for yourself, I see," his tension decreased and I got up to get a bag packed, who knew how long he was going to have me out and about this time.

"No time like the present, I guess."

"Well, okay, my car is out front," he grabbed my hand and began to lead me out to his car, I pulled back and managed to stop him.

"Oh, by the present I meant like later. I need to go talk to someone, it shouldn't be more than an hour… or two," or four.

"You're going to go talk to Jake," it was a statement, not a question.

"Well, he has a right to know where I'm going. He doesn't think very fondly of you," I wrapped my arms around myself protectively.

"And what do you think?"

The question took me by surprise, what did I think of Edward? Did I still love him? Could I love him again?

I couldn't be sure. He had left, left me here to protect me. He had broken my heart and hadn't cared until he couldn't take it any more. He hadn't even considered how it would affect me, he hadn't realized that I wouldn't bounce back from this.

And yet, I did bounce back, really, I bounced right into Jake's arms. He had been there for me and yet he had also hurt me. And like Edward, he had decided to leave me, but he said that things could work in a few years. He had given our relationship hope instead of just throwing it out to the dogs.

"I don't know Edward."