A/N: We're going to pretend for the sake of this story that the whole Puck/Quinn/Beth thing never happened. As usual, I own nothing...although 3M probably owes me some sort of compensation for all the free shout-outs I'm giving to Post-Its in this story :)
Puck is all about the baby-makin'. He likes to encourage Rachel to practice at every chance, and one might even say that he's somewhat of an expert since Rachel was pregnant within a month of their wedding. If they gave an award for dedication to the craft, Puck likes to think that he would win every time.
The baby-havin' is another story. That shit is nasty. When Rachel found out that she was pregnant with David, she popped the surprise by handing him a copy of "What To Expect When You're Expecting" marked with color-coded Post-It notes and told him to start reading. Puck made it through the first 10 pages before giving up and deciding that he was going to focus on being the best damn Lamaze coach he could be. Less messy and it would keep him focused on Rach and not on how much he wanted to go Deathstar on all the strangers who would be getting all up in his wife's lady-business.
Puck was elated when Chang finally got his shit together and impregnated Quinn. Rachel and Quinn loved discussing all that pregnancy crap every time the two couples spent time together, so Puck felt it was well within his right to get together with the Changster to have manly pregnancy talk. ("Dude. Whatever you do, do NOT look anywhere below Q's waist when she's having the kid. Just don't do it. You'll never recover.")
The Puckerman family had just gotten home from the hospital. Quinn had given birth to a baby girl named Lizzie that morning with the help of Rachel and Mrs. Fabray in the delivery room. Puck and David had stayed in the waiting room with Mike. Dude had passed out at the sight of the epidural needle, and once he came around the nurse politely asked him to leave the delivery room so as not to place any more stress on his wife. Once Puck stopped making fun of him and drifted off for a nap, Mike took on the duty of answering David's never ending stream of questions ("How did Auntie Quinn get pregnant?" "Um, from loving me too much." "But how will the baby get out?" "Magic little dude. Now how about we go get some Skittles from the vending machine and see how many we can throw into your dad's mouth before he wakes up?")
"Noah," Rachel's voice drifted out of the bathroom as Puck came into their bedroom after putting David to bed. "Can you get David's baby box out of the closet? I want to see if I still have some unused onesies to give to Quinn."
Puck hefted the large box off the top shelf of the closet and tossed it onto the bed. "Shit babe, this thing is heavy. You know you're not actually supposed to put the kid in the box, right?" As he lifted the lid off, Puck's eyes settled on a heavy silver frame holding a black and white photograph.
"See anything interesting?" Rachel leaned against the door frame with her toothbrush in one hand and a smile on her face.
"Um, Rachel. This is not funny. Are you..." Puck's eyes ricocheted back and forth between his wife and the sonogram he was holding. Rachel nodded.
Striding over to Rachel, Puck knelt down and tenderly pressed a kiss to her stomach. "Why didn't you say anything sooner?"
Rachel shrugged. "Didn't want to steal Quinn and Mike's thunder. Besides, I'm only 2 months. We have plenty of time to tell people."
"This is awesome babe. David is going to be an awesome big brother." Puck grabbed the toothbrush out of Rachel's hand and tossed it into the bathroom sink before pulling down onto the bed with him.
"Noah" Rachel put her hands on Puck's shoulders as he ran his hands up and down her side. "I know you had some, um, issues with the more scientific and technical aspects of my pregnancy with David. This time, though, I'd really like it if you would come to the doctor with me and take an active role in my pregnancy."
Puck's face paled noticeably. "Issues? Don't know what you're talking about babe. I'm a science teacher, remember? Besides, I think I already took my active role. You wouldn't be knocked up if I hadn't taken an active role."
"Pregnancy is a beautiful experience, Noah. And as my loving husband, you should be willing to help me through the time leading up to the birth of our child. Even the messy parts."
Puck leaned over Rachel to turn off the light on the bedside table. "You've got to stop talking about that shit if you want to be able to celebrate. I can't give you the full Puckerone experience if I'm nauseous."
Curling into her husband's side, Rachel peppered kisses up Puck's jawline before stopping to whisper into his ear. "Bloody show."
Rachel dissolved into giggles as Puck pushed Rachel away and raced for the bathroom. She couldn't wait for him to come back so she could break the news that his boss had already approved a day off on Monday so Puck could come to the doctor's appointment with her. And she had given Dr. Green very specific instructions to be as descriptive as possible.
