Drawing Blood and Desire
Ryan couldn't get what he thought he heard Richie say out of his mind. He thought he must have heard wrong, but no matter how many times he played back the tape he still couldn't be sure. Was Richie really calling for him?
It excited him even as it scared the hell out of him to think that Richie could want him, that he was the person who was on Richie's mind then. When he had that look of abandon and ecstasy on his face, in his eyes.
Nobody had looked like that at him when he was making love to them, no matter how much they had loved him.
And that frightened Ryan even more.
He was responding to that from somewhere deep inside himself, and he didn't know what to do about it.
Being Ryan, he did what he always did when he was frightened or confused. He lashed out. He started yelling at Annie for no reason and then would have to apologize to her.
He was constantly distracted and found he was absentmindedly stroking things while remembering that scene with Richie.
He avoided Richie completely.
Then Annie came to his office one day with shocking news.
"Richie is dying" She said without preamble.
"What, what are you talking about? Dying?? Where did you hear that? Did he tell you that because you know he's playing you if he told you that!" Ryan realized as he was saying this how much he hoped it was true. For the first time he found that he was hoping Richie was playing a gameHe couldn't bear to think of any other scenario.
"He didn't tell me. Babe told me"
"Babe? What does she have to do with Richie"? His voice sounded annoyed and aggravated to his own ears. He couldn't help it, though. The words came out of his mouth before he could stop them.
Annie looked surprised but said nothing about his tone. "He dated Babe, you know that."
"Oh that. That was a couple of dates before she knew that he was lying about who he was. She surely couldn't want him now" Ryan hoped that was the case.
"Apparently she isn't dating him, but she was talking to him in the park and when she left he took a pill and dumped the bottle in the trash. Babe asked Josh what they were used for, and he told her it was a clinical trial drug used in the last stages of leukemia."
"That's not possible. Look at him, he's perfectly healthy. He doesn't even have a cold! He probably just wanted sympathy from Babe, filled the bottle with candy and made sure she saw him throw it away." Ryan said
"He didn't know she was there, Ryan. He wasn't expecting her to still be in the park"
"That's what she thinks. Come on, Annie. This guy is a master con artist. He's definitely not above faking an illness to get what he wants".
"That doesn't make sense Ryan, even for Richie".
"Well, we have to find out for certain". Ryan was sure this had to be a game; he fervently hoped so. He didn't like the idea of Richie going to those extremes for Babe,though. Why? Because that would mean he wanted her so much he'd do just about anything.
"How, Ryan?"
"Leave it to me". He said in a menacing tone. He was going to find out what Richie was up to before anyone got hurt. "And because you're worried about him, and jealous.God, Ryan, how pathetic is that"? The return of the irritating voice in his head mocked him.
By the time he stormed into Richie's office he was furious.
"What the fuck are you doing"?
Richie looked at him in his usual amused and slightly taunting way.
"Well, hello to you too, boss. I haven't seen you in days and now you come in here and are ranting about-what exactly?"
"Don't play stupid with me, Richie. You deliberately set it up so that Babe could see you with those pills. Why would you do that? Try to get her to sympathize with you so she'd what, fuck you? What is it; you can't get a woman to have sex with you unless she pities you"?
Richie's face paled for a moment before the mask came back down. Ryan could see the fury in his eyes. And something else. Hurt. "I hurt him" He thought, and he immediately wondered why.
There was a long pause and then Richie said"Wow, thanks bro. You know, you should never consider a career as a diplomat. You really go for the jugular, don't you? If I am not sick than I'm a pathetic loser who can't get someone to make love to me unless it's because they pity me. I didn't realize I was so repulsive to you. Thanks for clearing that up".
Ryan found his head spinning again. What the hell was he doing? How could he say something like that to Richie? Whether he was lying about being sick or not, that was cruel. The impact of Richie's words hit him in the context of what he thought he heard on the tape. If Richie had been calling his name, if Richie wanted him, than what he'd just done was even crueler."Stupid, stupid, stupid." He thought to himself. He didn't like seeing Richie that way, and he didn't want to care about the way Richie looked. Or about the way he felt.
"I'm sorry for the way that sounded." Ryan said softly. "I didn't mean it. I'm just frustrated."
"And scared"? Richie said in an equally soft voice.
"Yes-no, I'm-forget it. "
"You're getting flustered Ryan. What is it you're not saying to me? You'd miss me if I go"?
"Can you be serious and answer the question? Annie is worried".
Richie laughed bitterly at that. "She is, huh? She probably is worried it's not true. Well, I'm sorry to disappoint her, but I am not dying."
"Then what happened with the pills"? Asked Ryan.
"It's like you said, Ryan. I wanted Babe to pity me. Hell, after seven years I'll take a pity fuck if that's all I'm offered. Not to say I haven't had sex in seven years, but well you can imagine what I'm trying to say". And suddenly the mask was back on.
Richie got up to walk out. "I have a couple of errands to run, boss. I will be back later on." He brushed past Ryan, and once again he felt the electrical currents passing between them. He found himself grabbing Richie's arms and turning him toward him.
"Don't leave yet. Please, can we just talk about this? I didn't mean to sound the way I did."
Richie stared down at Ryan's hands grasping his arms and brought his own hands up to meet them.
"I'll be back soon" He said, and then quickly left the room.
Ryan went back to his office and found Annie pacing and crying a little. She was holding an envelope.
"What is that"? He asked.
"Pictures. Richie sent them to me. They're from Halloween. I went as a cowgirl and he was Jesse James. He talked me into being a cowgirl instead of a princess, and I ended up winning a prize! That was a good memory. Sometimes I forget those times, Ryan."
"Annie. You can't let him get to you. Look, I have an idea how I can find out for sure if Richie is sick or just playing a game. Why don't you go home and I'll take care of this.By the end of the day we'll know what's really going on with Richie".
"Ryan"…
"Please Annie; just trust me on this,ok"?
"Ok" Annie took the pictures and walked out of the office.
Ryan was waiting when Richie came back.
"Ryan, what now? What do you want to torture me about?"
"Why did you send Annie those pictures? From Halloween all those years ago"?
"It's like I told her in my note. I wanted her to remember that we had some good times."
"You're trying to get her to feel sorry for you"!
"Ryan,man, you've gotta get a new accusation to throw at me! This one is overused already."
"I don't think it's funny that your sister was crying, Richie".
"My sister? Don't you mean your wife? Is that how you refer to her when you speak about her? Richie's sister? "
"Shut up Richie".
"Why? What am I saying that's not true? And why aren't you with her now if she's so upset? Why are you here instead of holding her in your strong, powerful arms"? He said this with a sneer, but Ryan felt there were undercurrents of passion, or desire in his voice.
He didn't want to think about it so he brought his mind back to what his purpose was in being in Richie's office.
"I want you to let me prove whether or not you're sick . Let me have your blood tested."
"What are you fucking kidding me? There's no way in hell I'm going with you to have my blood tested so forget it. I didn't tell Annie I was sick. If I was looking for sympathy I would have told her directly, not wait and hope someone else would notice!" Richie turned to leave and Ryan took the opportunity to come behind him and shove him against the door."I'm not asking you, Richie" He said this directly into Richie's ear, practically touching his earlobe with his lips "I'm telling you this is how it's going to be" And as he said this he took out a pair of handcuffs and swiftly secured Richie's hands. He pulled the still struggling Richie away from the door and threw him so he ended up face down on the couch.
It was a very sexual position, and Ryan had to tell himself to focus on what he was supposed to be doing. But he couldn't stop the intake of his breath when he looked at him lying there. Just like he was in his fantasies.
He hurried to the couch and turned him over. He looked just as appealing lying that way, Ryan thought.
Richie had stopped being scared and was now just angry. "Why don't you just take out the leather mask, Ryan"?
"Stop that, it's disgusting". Ryan blushed though, realizing that some of the fantasies he had of Richie did have a somewhat violent / sexual theme to them.
As if reading his mind, Richie smiled at him. That made Ryan furious again and he tackled him, and they were struggling on the couch. Richie not being able to use his hands meant he had to use his legs. He drew them up and wrapped them around Ryan, trying to use them to push Ryan off him. Instead it just made Ryan collapse on top of Richie.
He ended up with his face pressed against the side of his neck, and his lips on his shoulder blade. He tried shifting and found his mouth was now planted firmly on Richie's neck.
He heard something come out of Richie that sounded like a groan, and he also shifted his body. Ryan held him down, and Richie continued to try and push him off. He didn't know which one of them started moving so that they were in a rhythm that was almost like a dance. But Ryan knew he liked the way it felt. And judging from Richie's reaction he could feel it as well.
This time the noise was Ryan moaning softly, which he quickly tried to hide by grunting while continuing to try and subdue Richie.
Richie looked up at Ryan's face, which was about an inch from his and said "If you wanted to kiss me Ryan, all you had to do was ask".
"Shut up, Richie, just shut up". He knew his face was once again red, and that it was becoming difficult to hide the fact that he was aroused from Richie.
Richie wrapped his legs around Ryan again and said "Go ahead, shut me up ".
Ryan could feel something break inside him and he crushed Richie's lips with his own, all the while saying "Shut up, shut up, shut up". Meanwhile, his mouth was bruising Richie's, and his tongue was desperately trying to get inside that beautiful yet incredibly annoying mouth.
Richie let him in.
Ryan felt the passion he had been holding back erupting out of him, along with his anger and frustration. He kept a hold on the back of Richie's head and kept pushing him down, trying to cover his lips, his jawbone, his neck with traces of himself. He felt Richie's tongue playing with his, teasing him. The two of them taking turns being dominant and yielding They kept the pace that way until they broke for air and Richie moaned again."Ryan"-
It sounded exactly like what he'd thought he'd heard on the tape, and it was said with the same pleading, yearning tone.
Ryan moaned something incoherent in response, until he started saying Richie's name in between kisses as well.
Ryan wanted to rip Richie's clothes off, desperate to feel the touch of his bare skin against his own. He started to pull the shirt off and rub his hand up and down Richie's chest.
He was just starting to kiss his chest and let his tongue slide up and down his nipples when there was a knock on the door.
"Oh, shit" said Ryan, adding."That would be the doctor".
"Send him away."
"I can't do that, Richie".
Richie looked at him with a mixture of surprise and disappointment.
"You still want my blood-fine, take it. Now, please get off of me. And by the way, could you release the handcuffs"? Richie added.
"I can't do that, either. Not unless you'll tell me that you won't run".
"Ryan, how could you do what you just did and tell me that you have to take blood from me against my will"?
"I promised Annie." He said softly His lowered his eyes as he realized how that must sound in light of what had just happened.
But there was also another, more important reason for him to still want to know if Richie was sick. He looked at Richie and then said :
."And, I – want to know if you're alright". Tripping over the words.
Richie looked at him for a long moment and said" Uncuff me, I'm not going anywhere".
TBC
