Disclaimer: Nope don't own Naruto, and I never will. I'm only saying this because I'm at gunpoint. I do own Naruto…I mean I don't!
Story: Naruto is outgoing, outspoken, and oblivious. His female counterpart is the same, only she's engaged, in love with a jounin, and the Hokage loves to dress her up. And she can use mokuton jutsu.
Set as an AU.
Spoilers: Eh, not really.
Warnings: ?
Pairings: KakaNaru, NaruOthers

Yare, Yare! Naruko Gaiden
Chapter Four: Make Me Bad

"Baka...ecchi...bastards...torture..." Naruko was muttering.

The hand-tied Demon Brothers nervously walked behind Kakashi and Tazuna, an angry blonde glaring at their backs. Huffing angrily, Naruko stomped forward and slipped in between the brothers, grabbing onto their ears and pulling them forward harshly.

She was still pissed at the ecchi chuunin.

"You sure I can't kick their asses, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruko growled, narrowing her eyes behind her at the pained brothers. She tugged on their ears harder.

"Sorry, Naruko. No can do," Kakashi said amused, though the only reason he'd brought them along was because Naruko insisted and they were oddly acting rather docile.

"I can't even castrate them?"

"No!" the chuunin brothers yelled horrified. Naruko smirked evilly at them and they shivered. It definitely shut them up.

She stopped suddenly, the brothers leaping back in terror once she released their ears.

"Why the hell are we still heading towards Zabuza? Shouldn't we try going to another direction?"

"Because, Naruko, we have to face him head on so that we won't lead him to Tazuna-san's family."

Naruko pouted and started grumbling again as she stomped forward.

"Eh, I think you should get down, little girl," a gravelly voice said as a large sword flew towards her. Her scream was trapped in her throat as she froze from the sudden attack on her. The Demon Brothers surprisingly tackled her and Kakashi decided to do the same with Tazuna, seeing her momentary safety.

"Well, that's a surprise. Meh, who cares. The Demon Brothers are below my caliber anyway. However, Copy-nin Kakashi is another story."

Naruko almost bristled at the man's attitude and his nerve to insult her two saviors, who had just earned a point each in her book. But there's still going to be a lot more groveling from them or else.

The half-naked man standing on the sword pointing out her sensei was another issue. One where while she was worried about him, she wondered if Kakashi was really that infamous around the shinobi world?

"Naruko, guard Tazuna away from the battle. Don't get involve," Kakashi ordered as he lifted his headband and revealed a strange, red eye with three tomoes in it.

"Cool," Naruko whispered in awe. Shaking her head, she decided this was definitely not her cup of tea and that they really couldn't face Zabuza like this. Regardless if they led him to Tazuna's family or not, they weren't at liberty to keep the man from his family in case of something going wrong.

It would be better to bring Tazuna home and guard him there, then lead the weirdo away.

"Hey you! Eye-browless freak! Take this," she yelled, throwing an object at the ground in front of their enemy and somehow grabbed a hold of Tazuna, the brothers, and Kakashi before hightailing it out of there in the speed of light only capable by Uzumaki Naruko herself.

Somehow, they had reached a village nearby and Naruko prepared herself for the worse dressing down since she could remember. Which happened all too frequently, now that she thought of it…

"Naruko…what were you thinking?" Kakashi asked calmly. Maybe too calmly.

She flinched. "Aa…well, you see, I thought that Tazuna should be with his family. Something could've happened at the battle and I thought it would've been better for him to be with them in case. And…I was worried about you."

Kakashi sighed and ruffled her hair tiredly, "You have a good heart, Naruko. But you need to use your head sometimes."

That was it? Whew! She was expecting something a lot worse. She was really lucky. She really got off good there…unless Kakashi was waiting for the perfect moment to strike and was biding his time…

"Hey, what was that you threw back there?" Tazuna asked curiously. "I caught a whiff of it and it left a bad taste in my mouth."

"Ara! I was going to use it as part of my last prank in celebration of becoming a ninja. It's a really…smelly smoke bomb. You don't want to know…well, at least know that Zabuza would be too busy gagging to look for us for awhile. Trained shinobi or not, no one can stand the Uzumaki Crank Bomb!" she almost laughed insanely, which was exactly what everyone was imagining at the moment as they stared at her.

"We should…get going now," Kakashi said anti-climactically.

They began to start heading to Tazuna's home when Tazuna paused and stopped Naruko. He smiled fondly at her and said, "Thanks for the consideration, Naruko."

She just grinned back at him and gave a cheesy thumbs up, before marching forward and reclaiming the Demon Brothers' ears and pulling them along, protests and whimpering emerging all the while from them.

They kept going and going, until they finally reached their destination –a modest home on a cliff.

Tsunami, Tazuna's daughter, was extremely welcoming to them. In fact, she began acting as if Naruko was her own daughter. Disturbingly, everyone thought she was hinting Kakashi was a capable husband.

"Maa, Naruko-chan! You don't have to do that!" Tsunami gently reprimanded when Naruko began setting up the table.

"Um…it's fine. I don't mind. Actually, do you need help getting food ready or anything?"

"Why don't you call your partner over? I'm sure he'll be delighted to help his little lady."

"Ahh, Kakashi-sensei. I think she means you," Naruko stated unsurely, her cheeks going red.

Her sensei walked over and took her place setting the table, staying quiet. Naruko helped Tsunami with preparing the dinner. Tazuna stood in the background, chuckling.

"Eh, Tsunami! Quit teasing them," Tazuna chastised her.

"But Father! Don't they make a cute couple?" she said it bluntly for once.

Naruko gaped and then scurried away, hiding with the chuunin brothers. Kakashi winced and began talking.

"Um, Tsunami-san, Naruko is just my student. I'm training her to become a better ninja. Besides that, I'm fourteen years older than her."

The woman snorted, "Meh! You just don't see what I see yet. The foundation is there! Students are supposed to develop crushes on their mentors too. And age is nothing but a number. I even thought you two were married when I first saw you two walk through that door together. You two look perfect together and act adorably around each other."

"You really think so, Tsunami?" Tazuna snickered.

"Of course," she glared at her father.

Kakashi stayed quiet before excusing himself. He went to go find Naruko, wondering if she was alright. She seemed embarrassed and bothered earlier.

"Saa, I'm happy I found you so quickly. How are you?" Kakashi said when he found her by the water. She was quiet and staring into the blue depths, knees held tightly to her.

"I'm okay…"

He smiled and sat down next to her.

"That's good. I talked to Tsunami-san."

Before he could say anything else, Naruko spoke up. "When you passed me, I was so happy. For once I had succeeded in something. Someone other than Iruka-sensei and Hiru-jiji had actually smiled at me and thought I was good enough. And you saved me before that. I owe you for saving my life, no matter how weird I thought you were then. You've never judged me by being its…carrier. Heh, you treated me to ramen so that's always a bonus.

"When you said I was the only student you've ever passed, and then I heard the rumors and everything, I was so proud. But I was upset too. I couldn't believe someone actually thought I was that good, and I began doubting myself. You believed in me and got a C-rank, you were patient with me and actually taught me, you actually spent time with me and treated me as if I was normal.

"That's why…when Hiru-jiji told me I should wait until next year and why…I almost agreed. I was tired of being treated unfairly and if being with Uchiha-teme would stop it a little, why not? I hate the glares. I hate the remarks. Sometimes, I actually hate the villagers. I almost gave up, gave into it."

Naruko sniffled and wiped her eyes, "That's why, when you stood up to Hiru-jiji and vouched for me, I owe you the most."

She half-stood, crouching, before leaning over and kissing his visible eye. It fluttered close and then opened when Naruko fled back into the house.

That night, Naruko saw two people who seemed oddly familiar, but she swore she had no idea why and that she knew she had never seen them. The blond man looked familiar though.

A beautiful woman, her waist-length black hair swishing as she walked down the corridor, greeted a blond man.

"Minato, what is it you want to show me?" she smiled brightly, obviously in love with the man.

"My project. Our project. It's finally completed. I wanted you to be the first to see its creation."

She gasped, "Eternal life…you've finally completed the Immortality Jutsu!"

"And to think, you were so curious and doubtful of the idea," Minato teased.

"Ah, but it is my gift! I've seen your work and I've helped. I've seen how close you were. And now…it is finally time."

The man held out an arm and she placed her hand on it, walking together outside. Another man joined them, Minato's best friend. The three of them walked leisurely towards a closed off area, cages of prisoners and the dying all around.

The soon to be victims pleaded to be let go, but the three said nothing and continued with their plans.

"Be careful, Minato," both his friend and lover told him.

He smiled beguilingly at them, walking towards the middle of a huge sealing circle he had drawn up around the area. The red liquid containers around him began to glow and the woman and man began rolling the cages one by one into the outside of the circle. The hoarse voices of the sacrifices screamed for help and mercy, but they were ignored.

"Let it begin," the dark-haired woman voiced.

Minato started and the red light spilled into the ground, the circle glowing. The red light grew blinding, making the woman and man cover their eyes. When they opened it, Minato was holding his hands up to the sky and a red stone was floating in the middle of them.

All of the sufferers were dead.

"Minato, my love, you did it!" the woman cried out in joy.

He smiled at both of them weakly, collapsing onto the ground with the stone falling onto his chest. She cried out and raced towards him.

"Minato? What's wrong? Oh no, the sealing must have taken its toll on you…"

"Hera…I love you," Minato said before closing his eyes.

Sobbing, Hera grabbed the stone that caused all of this trouble. She ran towards the other man, surprising him with her actions. Touching the odd stone to his chest, by instinct she had somehow transferred Minato's soul.

They had discovered the way to eternal life.

Naruko woke up blearily from the dream, wondering where all that came from. Once again, she had somehow experienced another weird dream that she had no idea where it was concocted from.

"Naruko, you awake?"

She had forgotten she was sharing a room with Kakashi. Face reddening, she nodded. Then she realized it was dark and that he probably couldn't see her.

"Uh, yeah, sensei. What's up?"

"Are you okay? It sounded like you were having a nightmare or something." He didn't mention he saw her restless movements with his Sharingan eye.

"Yeah, just a weird dream…" she distractedly replied.

He got up from his bed and walked over to her. She was still lying down, so he sat on the edge.

"Ne, Naruko, you know if you ever need to talk I'm here, right?"

"…Mmhm."

"Good," and he leaned over and returned the kiss from earlier, touching his lips to her temple. He left and went back to his bed.

Absentmindedly, she realized by the feel of his lips that he hadn't been wearing his mask.

The next day, they met the brat of the family, Inari. Looking curiously at him, Naruko decided it was her mission to dissolve his brattiness. All the kid ever talked about was Gato and death and blah blah blah.

And for the something something time, she and Kakashi exchanged exasperated glances at Inari's ranting about something or other. All this over Gato.

The name made Naruko want some kind of nice, rich and delicious cake.

"Ah, Kakashi-sensei! When we go back to Konoha and before, can you treat me to some chocolate cake? I think I'm craving. Something about crime lords sharing names in French with desserts."

Kakashi chuckled and said, "Maybe."

Inari looked incredulously at them.


The red-haired man tilted his head to the side curiously, looking at the paper on the desk in mild amusement and intrigue. A serene smile slowly spread across his lips and he gently circled the information in red ink with the brush held lazily in his hand.

Curious, curious.

So the Kyuubi jinchuuriki was engaged, huh? And to the Yondaime Tsuchikage as well. What an interesting development…

He lightly tapped the end of the brush against his lips, gazing at the picture of the Kyuubi jinchuuriki as wheels turned in his head. Oddly and what seemed to be unusual for him, his smile stretched across his face into a full smile and he leaned back and folded his hands decisively on his lap.

Curiouser and curiouser, indeed.

Started 2/23/05 –Completed 2/28/07
Revised 3/2/11 –Completed 3/2/11(6/11/11)

A/n: First, if you recognized that scene from earlier, props to you. It's from the original FMA anime series, and will be important to the developing story later. Now…

If you don't get Nakago's speech in the first chapter, then I will explain it to you (as I had to a very rude reviewer):

He's saying he doesn't mind Naruko choosing to be with someone she loves or has or might have feelings for, as opposed to being stuck with him in a platonic marriage (even though he may have feelings for her, not that either of them know that), and especially since no one knows they are engaged just yet. This is an ARRANGED MARRIAGE, and therefore he feels partly responsible and guilty for her situation, even though he and the Hokage are doing this hopefully to make things better for her. And I reiterate hopefully, because this is the kind of thing that is shaky and something she might not be totally be happy with –especially if it had been with a guy not as nice and sweet as Nakago seems to be.

He is NOT being hypocritical with his choice not to, because one, again part of the reason is because he feels responsible and guilty, so he doesn't want to wrong her even more by being with someone else. He knows he is the elder and more experienced one, which he feels makes him more in the wrong and the one more responsible for what he does in the relationship. And because he's a guy –though he's not making a generalization or basically saying all men think this way or being misogynistic, but that he would feel bad and that he'd looked down on himself for such actions as a personal CHOICE and OPINION (as all people have a right to have). Along with (again) feeling responsible and guilty, that just expounds on his feelings.

DON'T call Naruko a whore or say she's whoring herself out, especially when there is no case or hint about her sleeping around. I don't mind cursing, especially if it's for characterization (though if it's too OOC…), but when it's just derogatory and mean and out of context from a story, I draw a line.

I don't mind readers questioning me or having questions or concerns, but I HIGHLY don't tolerate rudeness and the rude tone in reviews (especially when it sounds like it insults my intelligence). Please watch your tone and words when you review. This is NON-PROFIT/FREE work and us writers work our asses off to write, and we DO NOT need to be disrespected.

I've always been tolerate of all reviews and try to be respectful back at least, but a line really needs to be drawn.