hello. sorry for the long break. please enjoy~

After losing your light breakfast to the drain, your makeup assistant- a foreigner named Ivan, came in and patted at your face with rice paper, blotting oil from your cheeks, frowning deeply. You sat uncomfortably as he dabbed at your nose, and under your eyes.

"Did you eat something weird this morning?" He asked, his concern barely covered by the annoyance over your smudged makeup. "You really had me worried you know, especially after all the time I spent working on your face."

"I'm fine." You half-lied, "just tired."

Ivan's blue eyes tightened, "are you not sleeping? Should I tell the Director-"

"No!" You exclaimed, jumping from your place on the sink counter. "I'm fine really don't worry about it! I'll be fine, I just need some time to think."

Another frown, this seemed to be Ivan's usual expression. "Well, if you say so, but you'd better get back out there. The Director will have both our heads if we take any longer and I don't know about you but I'm fond of mine."

Nodding with more exuberance than necessary, you hopped off the counter top and made your way to the bathroom door. "Thank you, Ivan. I owe you one."

Crossing his arms over his chest, Ivan gave you an exaggerated eyeroll, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "By the time this is all over, you'll owe me far more than one. I'll keep tally don't worry."

"Thanks, I'll be going then." You said, ignoring his sarcasm.

"Knock em' dead kiddo." He said in English with a sigh, a saying you didn't completely understand but you nodded anyways.

You had to get back out there yet the thought of witnessing the raw jealousy in Zen's eyes scared you. At that moment you truly understood the weight of his words- 'all men are wolves'. Right then you finally believed him.

Once you returned to set, and appeased the Director with a string of apologies and bowing, shooting resumed. Jake didn't say anything about you vomiting, despite the fact that you'd be lip locking soon. The rest of the shoot proceeded rather uneventfully but your heart sank when you noticed that during the third take Zen had stopped watching, disappearing from the off stage shadows. Although there was no further distractions from your performance- what awaited after the long day of shooting is what worried you. Would Zen and you fight? You rarely fought over anything but petty issues and it frightened you- was he so mad he'd refuse to come home? Sensing your internal strife Jake seemed to tiptoe around you, acting uncharacteristically cautious in your presence.

"Are you alright?" He asked as you chugged deeply from an offered water bottle. "You seem quite rattled about something."

You managed a somewhat convincing smile, "it's nothing!" You lied again, noting that Jake's measured frown seemed to say he didn't quite believe you.

Finally, as the sun began to sink from its altar in the sky the Director began wrapping the production up, signaling the end of filming.

"Good work today, we'll meet back here same time tomorrow. Stars," he turned to speak to you, Jin, Jake and Zen. "All three of you rest up and eat properly. And Sara, show up tomorrow looking less green around the gills."

Blushing self consciously, you nodded stiffly and smothered a grimace, if only he knew the reason for your illness. Out of the corner of your eye you watched Zen chat idly with a couple female stage hands, they seemed immensely charmed by him- of course they did, Zen could use his tongue to wrangle himself into even the coldest of hearts. Slowly you began to gather your things, hoping that Zen would soon join you- wanting to perhaps corner him on the train ride home. Yet, twenty minutes passed and Zen didn't seem the slightest bit perturbed by your anxious presence; you were beginning to get annoyed now. It was Zen who was the jealous one- he was the one who began this whole exhausting ordeal! Fuming silently, you tugged on your windbreaker and headed for the backdoors, Zen could meet you at home if he wasn't willing to cooperate! Trudging down the street, hands buried in your pockets you ignored the growing distant hollers and shouts of the fellow cast mates and crew members- many trying to call out to you, yet in your current disposition you were in no mood for idle chat. Once settled on the train you finally let the exhaustion of the day set in, sinking into the plastic moulded seats and letting your crusty eyelashes fall closed. For the millionth time you were consumed by doubts and the dread- that this was all due to your own selfish endeavour. Neither Zen nor you would be in this awful position if you hadn't let yourself become swept away by the romanticism of acting and the world of drama. Snuggling deeply into the hood of your jacket you let your eyes fall closed, the gentle ringing of the subway lulling you into a dreamless sleep.

By the time you finally awoke it took mere seconds to realize your foolish mistake. Blinking away the sleepy clouds that obscured your vision, you glanced around the near deserted train, immediately struck with a chill of terror. The skies outside the city, lights and buildings streaming by, dappled against a darkened city scape- buildings you didn't recognize. You looked up at the illuminated stop indicator near the door, you were fourteen stations past where you were meant to get off! Forcing yourself to remain calm, you rationalized how long it would take to get back, you just needed to get off at the next stop and take a train going back into town.

"Arriving at the next station in thirty seconds," the chipper voice rang, echoing against the metal walls. "Get off here to transfer to the Midway line."

Collecting your bag and shrugging your coat back on, you stood and slipped through the doors as they slid open. I need to call Zen, your mind told you, what would he think if he knew what a stupid thing you'd done? Leaning against a tiled pillar you retrieved your phone- 15 missed call?! Opening your caller ID you realized each of them were from Zen, along with his frantic calling he'd also left 10 voicemails. You opened the first one, bringing the phone to your ear.

"Hey . . . so where did you go? I just finished gathering my stuff up and now you're gone. Call me back once you get this." His tone was rather clipped and you could visualize the pinch between his brows signifying his irritation.

At this point you knew you should return his calls, he was probably at home, pacing back and forth, worrying a track into the hardwood. Yet instead of hitting the 'call' button you decided to listen to the last voicemail he left you.

Again his voice started and your heart leapt painfully against your ribcage. "Hi, I know what I did today was unacceptable." A long breathy pause, he sounded like he was short of breath- his voice softer than previous. "But please come home. Please. I know I messed up- probably big time- but I'm losing my mind here." His words fell off, and a low exhale followed.

"You can be as angry as you want- just come home. Bye."

You were rendered numb, the cellphone in your hand beeping distantly as the message ended. Never before had you heard Zen sound the way he did just then, suddenly your head swelled and a wave of nausea flooded down your throat to your toes. You needed to get home- frantically you looked around the unfamiliar station for a traveler's guide; something with train times in it. Luckily you found one discarded on a nearby bench, thumbing through it you began to dial Zen's number, cradling the phone between your shoulder and ear.

He picked up immediately, "where are you?"

Blinking in confusion, you realized you didn't rightly know where you were. Searching for a station name you found the avenue number posted above the tracks. "Um, fifty eighth avenue . . . I think."

A pause, "fifty eighth? Why are you way out there?" He asked, "if this is because of what happened today-"

"It's not!" You replied vehemently, although that was partially a lie. "I-I fell asleep on the train." You admitted shamefully.

Another pause. "You fell asleep on the train?" He repeated, "are you okay? Were you hurt? Anything stolen?"

"No, no, no- I'm fine." You insisted but before you could say anything more your phone screen went dark as the remnants of your battery drained.

"Oh no." You exhaled, holding the now useless piece of glass and metal in your hand.

A more immediate sensation of panic set in as you now had no way of calling a taxi or even looking up a bus time on your phone. Unsure what to do, the next train wouldn't be coming by for nearly twenty minutes. You decided perhaps a warm beverage would soothe the electrified nerves in your stomach. Buying a small tea from a nearby vending machine you took a seat on a provided bench, trying to ignore the sour aftertaste of the brew. Time seemed to pass slowly and you itched to hear Zen's voice, feel his arms wrap around you as he fended off the early spring chill. Vainly you wondered what he was doing, he had apologized in his voicemail yet you couldn't help but feel this wasn't the end of the problem. Why did they think they could manage to keep their love a secret? At that moment you were very annoyed with Zen's agent. Truthfully it was a silly notion, to hide the tenderness they had for each other for the sake of Zen's career- and now yours. You realized this was what Jaehee had warned you about all those months ago- not to ruin Zen's reputation. Was that what you were doing- without even realizing it?

Before you could dwell on such dark thoughts further the whistle of an approaching subway disrupted your silence. "Outgoing train, heading east." The same voice said over the PDA and you shambled to get on, the doors clicking shut.

Once again on the train you found a spot near the window, forcing yourself to continue drinking the awful tea to keep yourself awake, Zen would surely scold you if you made the same mistake twice. The city streamed by, district after district, and you watched as your stop approached. The boarding deck was crowded, perhaps there had been some kind of event in the neighbourhood, grabbing your things you pushed past the swell of people and onto the bustling platform.

For a moment you just stood there, looking around for a way to escape the crush of people. Suddenly, someone grabbed your arm and your neck snapped to bark at the offender. Crimson eyes paired with a furrow of brows, a face that despite looking worn and tight was overwhelmingly familiar.

"Zen." You greeted, voice soft in disbelief.

"Thank god," he exhaled and then his arms were around you, crushing you awkwardly against his lean frame.

Ignoring the stares of passerbys you allowed yourself to welcome the warmth of your lover, to rejoice in this embrace you'd thought about all day. The subtle spice clinging to his coat, sang in resonance with your highlighted senses. His hands were everywhere, brushing hair away from your eyes, the pads of his fingers gracing first your nose then the slant of cheeks, all the while gazing down at you with a sincerity that dared to set you aflame.
"I was so worried," he stated, his thumb refusing to leave its place alongside your eye. "When you cut off like that- what a reckless girl you are."

"More like stupid," you chuckled, elated with his gentleness, not wanting to encroach on the tension of earlier. "I'm useless without you by my side it seems . . . falling asleep on the train, I'm such an idiot."

You were rewarded with a pleased grin, Zen's broad shoulders sheltering you from the swarms of bustling human traffic. "Are you hungry? Would you like to go grab a bite to eat?"

Nodding the two of you made your way down the subway stairs onto the boulevard below. You were relieved Zen didn't seem to be in the mood to discuss this morning's discourse, though you wished you could probe his brain and see what he was thinking. Despite the wind you felt warm, Zen's reassuring presence alongside yours, hand cradled in his own. For now you wouldn't think about tomorrow, about the obstacles you still needed to leap over. This was the time to be what you truly were- a couple who loved each other deeply. Once seated in a small restaurant, a bowl of steaming noodles and simmered vegetables enticing your depraved senses- all was good.

Snapping his chopsticks open Zen offered you a sideways smile, scooping up a mouthful of noodles. "I thought you'd like this place. Seeing as you love noodles." He said, stirring his broth absentmindedly.

"Hoping this acts as a balm for this morning?" You teased light heartedly, "just so you know . . . I was never mad at you."

Zen's eyes widened, a reaction that surprised you, a thin cloak of red staining his pale cheeks. He seemed rather flustered suddenly, scratching at his warm face as if that would fend off the flush.

"I wasn't mad either." He admitted, "I could never be mad at you."

"What was it then?" You ventured to ask, prodding at a stem of broccoli.

Exhaling, Zen abandoned his chopsticks, pressing the heel of his palm to his eye. "You know how I said 'all men are wolves'? At that moment . . . all I wanted to do was take you as my own."

Gobbling, your jaw fell open and you dropped a chopstick into the bowl. "T-take me?"

Again, Zen seemed quite embarrassed by his urges, nodding stiffly. "Is that selfish of me to say? Probably. It's hard to want to claim you as mine- jump in front of Jake and act."

Unsure what to say you nibbled your bottom lip, a thick silence falling upon the two of you. What a tempting offer. Zen didn't need to know how those words set your blood aflame.

Slowly, forcing the tremble from your fingers, you said; "don't do it at work but anywhere else. . . I'm yours. Entirely."

Saucer wide eyes gave way to a growing crooked smirk, a dangerous glint in his eye. "You shouldn't say that, we're in public."

Laughing you resumed eating your noodles, "all the better then. I like seeing you sweat."

Chuckling, Zen took a deep sip of his water. "Tease."

The two of you walked home briskly, not bothering to call a cab for the short walk from the restaurant. There was a wonderful energy between the two of you, an awareness of each other's presence. All of your senses were heightened, you watched him from the corner of your eye- the straightness of his jaw, narrow bridge of his nose. You knew he was doing the same, the heat of his gaze often lingering along your own features. It was alarming, his persistent gaze, all-consuming and it left you raw and self conscious.

Unlocking your flat door, Zen smiled at you, a shy almost nervous smile- it made your heart do flips in your chest. In silence the two of you stripped yourselves of jackets, scarves and gloves- finally rid of the cumbersome layers. Making your way to the couch, ensuring you caught his gaze, you sat. It was an unspoken invitation, his hungry gaze confirmed his RSVP. Tugging his sweater over his head, wearing only a tank top and jeans he sat on the cushion beside you, eyes never leaving yours. Wordlessly you moved onto his lap, knees alongside his thighs, hovering inches from his mouth, able to taste his breath.

"Kiss me," you said, a whispered command.

"Like you need to ask," he mumbled, pressing a quick, almost fleeting kiss to your lips. "How was that?"

"More," another command, softer this time.

Zen's eyes fell closed and he swiped his tongue over your bottom lip, dragging it into his mouth, worrying it deliberately. Tenderly he worked, slanting his mouth over yours with careful trepidation, you could taste your heart in your throat. This was what you longed for- kisses with passion and fervor. You knew you were supposed to replicate this with Jake- you were meant to be in love with him . . .but it was truly Sara Fisher who was in love with him. This sensation, Zen's fingernails nipping your scalp, his throaty moans and the thrum of your combined heartbeats, this was real.

Drawing back, panting eyes glazed with desire, Zen smiled lazily. "God, I love you."

Blushing despite yourself you brought the tips of Zen's ponytail to your lips, pressing a chaste kiss to the silvery strands. "I love you too, my prince."

A broken gasp, fingers stilling their motions across your scalp, followed by a pleasured laugh. "Don't tempt me, princess. You're playing with fire."

Ducking your head you kissed the skin below his ear lobe, "maybe I don't mind getting burned."

A low growl, animalistic in nature and it caused your heart to stutter. Hands trailing the curves of your ribs, hips, thighs you knew you'd met your mark. Shifting his weight, arms tucked under your bottom you were lifted from the couch.

Giggling you wrapped your arms around Zen's neck, licking his adam's apple, eliciting a hiss of excitement. A muscle feathered along his jaw, he was blind with need, muscles taunt and you were ready. Kicking open the door he set you on the edge of the bed, eyes bright.

Taking your foot in hand, Zen peppered kisses up the inseam of your leg, scarlet eyes gleaming in the dark. "You're going to regret tempting the beast. No holding back now."

Eyes falling closed, inhibitions gone, you sighed pleasurably, "will I?"

You'd slept well but not long, awaking in Zen's warm arms. Blinking away the crusties, you reached for your phone- 4:29am. Groaning, you realized there was no hope you'd get anymore sleep tonight your alarm was set for 6am anyhow. Rising, slipping out of Zen's arms you clothed your naked body in the dark, not bothering too much with your outfit- they'd change you on set anyways. Shuffling into the kitchen, tummy rumbling, you frowned as you noticed the notifications on your phone. 'Picture Message from Jake', your phone read and begrudging you opened it. Jake stood over Jin, who was sleeping on what looked like a giant stuffed dolphin, his mouth open, cigarette tucked behind his ear. In Jake's hand was a can of American beer, a goofy smile on his face, eyes tinged with red. The caption was, 'join us next time?'- and you couldn't help but shake your head, what would Zen say if you told him you were going partying with Jake and Jin. Closing Jake's message you noticed another text, this time from an unknown number.

'Hi. This is Tristen. This is from my personal phone- forgive me for the lateness of this message. There has been a change of plans for today. Please either message or call me when you get this. Bye.'

Unsure what to think you dialed the number given, he picked up on the first ring.

"Ah, good morning. I didn't expect you to be awake, thanks for returning my call." He said politely, all business despite the hour. "As I mentioned in my message, things have changed and something has come up. Instead of filming the four of you have been invited to an interview down at MegaPress. It was rather sudden so I was inclined to decline but I can't pass up offered air time- especially when I have a debuting actress on my cast."

He was referring to you of course, "ah, I see." Was all you managed to say.

"Anyways, please meet me at the TV studio at half past 9. We'll do a quick session of makeup and hair before you go. I'll brief you on what to say once you get here, this is of large importance. Please ensure your stomach has settled. Bye now."

Then he hung up and you could breathe again- that man turned your blood to ice. Setting your phone aside you began cracking eggs into a bowl, a stressful morning can only be tackled by fluffy pancakes after all. You hoped Zen would be more at ease with this whole interview than yourself.

As Tristen had promised there was a bunch of material for you to memorize for the interview, falsies placed upon your lids once again and lipgloss making your lips stick together. From across the room Zen didn't seem perturbed in the slightest, nodding dutifully as his tie was knotted; he was so much more professional than yourself.

"After they ask you about your childhood- be vague but cheerful we don't have time for a sob story today, perhaps another more private interview." The Director said sternly, "they will begin asking you about Jake, be wowed. I want you to sound like you admire him greatly, that he's your mentor and has been helping you immensely in adjusting to the hectic schedule. If you are anything but positive it will tell the audience that the chemistry between the two of you is awkward rather than blossoming. We want to show them that you're comfortable around each other."

Swallowing thickly you nodded your understanding, that was quite a tall order however. Truthfully, though you didn't dislike Jake, you didn't know him well and often his exuberance made you anxious. Ridding those thoughts from your mind you forced yourself into a more 'girlish' mind state. Compliment his appearance, be amazed by his acting prowess- you told yourself . . . how hard could it be?

"You're on in five!" A stage hand hollered around a clipboard, "everyone get ready for when you're called."

"Urgh interviews are such a hassle. At least I get to do it with a cute girl, Jin is stuck with Zen- who's been shooting me glares since yesterday. What's with that guy?" Jake spoke up suddenly, appearing beside you.

Startled by his sudden arrival you gawked up at him, caught off guard. He looked customarily handsome, in a foreign, boyish way; his charm much different than Zen's whose was almost ethereal.

"H-he's probably just not feeling well is all." You covered quickly, knowing exactly why Zen was glaring at the leading man.

Jake raised an eyebrow, musing the idea. "Maybe he's got the same bug as you? Don't get me sick- I hate puking." He said with a comically disgusted face, "I'll still kiss you though." Jake finished with a wink.

Managing a smile you punched him in the arm playfully- this was the type of chemistry the Director was looking for, you had to play the part off stage too it would seem.

"Is that a no? Ever since yesterday I can't the taste of you out of my mind- you're simply scrumptious." Jake whispered so no one else was able to hear.

Appalled, you schooled your face into one of humours annoyance, "haha quit joking around."

"My lady you wound me." He exclaimed dramatically. "Would you do me the honor of accompanying me onstage? It's about that time."

Sighing internally, you placed your hand in Jake's offered one- this was surely going to be a long day. Unable to talk to Zen the pair of you were quickly whisked onto the small set, placed into matching arm chairs as the lights came back up. There was a small live audience, mostly middle aged woman, clapping exuberantly. The heat of the lights still shone on you and you were afraid of every blemish on your face making a ghastly appearance under the stage lighting.

The host, a well dressed, clean cut Korean man waved you forward, exposing two rows of polished ivory. "Hello, hello~ welcome, welcome!" He chorused as both you and Jake took your seats.

There was a moment of applause, excitement and chatter rising from the small live audience. Then, as if told to silence and calm themselves, all became quiet. Without missing beat the host began, still grinning.

"Welcome all, I'm positive you know who we have up here on stage. You have all been waiting excitedly for their arrival, for the steamy behind the scenes gossip and tales of the cast and crew. For those who don't know, these two attractive people play Reagan and Sara in the upcoming drama; 'Lone Orchid'."

A pause for another round of applause, Jake's arm crept over to yours, fingers fluttering against your wrist- you choose to ignore the action.

"And we're equally pleased and excited to be here, Don." Jake replied, the hosts nickname had a ring of familiarity to it- he'd been on this show before.

The host chuckled amicably, evidently charmed by Jake as surely as the women in the crowd were.

"As always Jake is quite the silver tongue. It's been awhile since I've seen you, friend. Let's jump right into the steamy details- we want you to spill it all- how is working together on set?"

Again before you could open your mouth, Jake spoke; "she's my bestfriend- we get along so well on set, we just clicked immediately."

Shocked by his answer, your mouth unwittingly fell open- unable to conceal your surprise. Noting your facial expression, Don turned on you, eye twinkling.

"Is this feeling shared? Jake can be quite a handful, are you as close as the casanova claims?"

Their was a slight pressure on your wrist again, the weight of Jake's calloused fingertips; he was silently trying to communicate with you despite his face remaining impassive. Swallowing, you forced a smile onto your glossy lips.

"We're very close, as Jake said. We talk all the time, he calls me in the middle of the night- he's annoying but I love him." You said, although this wasn't all lies you were definitely sugar-coating the truth.

Another pause, "love him?" Don intoned, sitting forward in his seat, the crowd a soft thrum of whispers.

"Like a brother," you corrected hurriedly, "t-that's what I meant."

But the damage had been done. Don had decided this was a thought worth pursuing and immediately he launched into questions about the 'kiss' scenes- the entire while you were blushing like an fool which did nothing but further Don's excitement.

"So- is she a good kisser?" Don pressed.

A coy smile, one you wanted to wipe off Jake's lips. "She tastes like strawberries."

Your heart dropped to your knees and you blood ran cold- why would he say that?! Unable to say anything, the laughter of the crowd only served to electrify your nerves. The rest of the interview dragged on, awkward question answered by either you or Jake- mainly Jake however. Finally the half an hour passed and you were dismissed, much to Don's chagrin.

"I suppose our time is up, thanks for coming onto the show today. Stay tuned the rest of you! We have rising star and national heart throb, Zen and the talented and handsome Jin coming next!"

Looping his arm around your waist, Jake guided you off stage, knees trembling as you carefully made your way down the stage steps. Zen and Jin were waiting in the wings, hair coiffed and cheeks powered like your own. Your eyes met with Zen's, his jaw clenched and teeth grinding almost audibly- he must've heard the interview. Yet, before you had a chance to worry he smiled at you momentarily.

"Good job out there guys," he said cheerfully, "you really sold it."

Jake grinned and the energy between the two of them was less convincing than their poised smiles, a surge of unspoken tension.

"Thanks dude," a weird English word, "have fun out there."

Jin, who was standing aside Zen, also seemed to pick up on the stifling atmosphere for he crooked a wiry brow. He glanced between you and Jake curiously, then back at Zen before a knowing smile curled his lips- a slight nod.

"Aren't you expecting a phone call, Jake? You two had better clear out before the Director hunts you both down." Jin said, instructing Jake none too gently.

The change in Jake's face was instant, his eyes tightened and his smile fell. The transformation was so startling you hardly noticed that his hand had retracted from your hip, now back at his own side.

"I'd almost forgot, thanks Jin. Well, I'll see you three at the party tonight~ see ya." Jake waved farewell, heading back into the greenroom.

"Party?" You asked Jin, the was the first you'd heard of any party.

"Yeah the Director is throwing a gala of sorts, we're all supposed to go. He wants to parade the goods around of course." Jin explained, sounding less than enthused.

"Meeting with sponsors and other promoters for the show- it's mainly business but there will be good drinks." Zen continued to elaborate, the stiffness of his visage crumbling.

Nodding your understanding, you wished to chat longer but the interview producer appeared and Zen and Jin were hurried away. There wasn't much to do but wait for Zen to be done, settling down in an armchair- thinking about what tonight's party might hold.

The building the party was being held at was a sprawling vineyard out in the countryside, white European styled pillars, red lanterns hanging from lattice work and soft notes of jazz swelling from the belly of the beast. You, Zen, Jin and Jake were all brought by chauffeur, and since you'd come almost directly from the interview there was no time or privacy to chat with Zen. Jake and Jin were already pleasantly tipsy upon arrival, nursing whiskey in the limousine as you drove the winding roads.

"Nice place, eh?" Jake chuckled, polishing off his third drink.

Zen sat beside you, a reasonable distance away to avoid suspicion, he was slowly drinking a foreign beer- you could tell he was trying to stop himself from wrinkling his nose in disgust. As the driver pulled up beside the foyer of the grand villa the crush of voices reached your ears, by this point you were so exhausted you didn't think you could keep up appearances much longer. The four of you got out of the car, you ignored the stumble of both Jake's and Jin's feet.

"Alas, here we -hiccup- be." Jake chortled, "I'm gonna go check out the nosh', catch you later."

Jin leapt forward, latching onto Jake as he also teetered on his feet. "Wait up ol' buddy, we got some chattin' to do. See you two later." Jin waved, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

That guy knows something that he's not telling us, you though to yourself curiously, trying to analyse Jin's odd behaviour. Then Zen and you were left alone, standing in front of the villa.

Glancing at you Zen finishes off his beer, wincing as the vile liquid vanishes. "Fuck, that American shit is foul."

Giggling you're happy with the moment of respite, eager to pick Zen's brains about the interview. It may seem silly but you were still overly conscious of his feelings, you had no desire for a repeat of yesterday.

"Want to walk with me?" You asked, extending your hand. "I'm not that eager to go witness the Directors concentrated wrath this evening."

A slow smile, a warm tender one that made your bones melt. "I would love that." But then his eyes found your hand and his smile fell. "Are we allowed to hold hands?" He whispered, "what if someone sees us?"

"Who cares . . . I put my foot in my mouth so horribly today no one's bound to notice. If you're that worried about it we'll just stay outside." You said, taking his hand.

His fingers wrapped around yours, steady and familiar. There were no words needed as you slowly meandered through the gardens, the rustle of leaves, breath of mid-spring wind- it was a surprisingly warm evening. Weaving in and out of rows of shrubbery and berry speckled trees the pair of you stumbled across a small fountain glen, indigo waters bubbling their muted song.

"This place is incredible," you murmured, awe struck by the fantastical scenery.

Tugging Zen over to the fountain edge you sat down on the marble, dipping two fingers into the chilly waters, swirling delicate patterns. The silence of the moment was almost overwhelming, it'd been awhile since the two of you could exist outside of your own home- the faraway hum of music highlighting the ambience.

"Let's dance," Zen declared, gently pulling you to your feet.

One hand fell to your hip and scooped up your own and placed it atop his own shoulder, fitting your hips against his. This was almost nostalgic, you and him used to dance frequently, slow waltz' around the living room. Often you were envious of his grace, body becoming liquid as each muscle and limb found rhythm in even the simplest of beats.

Smiling, you allowed yourself to succumb to the pace of the dance- a soft sway of feet across flagstone. There was no need for music, it was more of an embrace- an excuse to hold one another- than a dance. With measured patience his mouth fell to your shoulder, nipping the hollow of your collarbone, but he all too quickly withdrew. You were both afraid of onlooking eyes, being spotted amongst the ivy and greenery.

"You look beautiful tonight- every night." Zen said, correcting himself mid-sentence. "This is the last place I want to be right now, especially with him around." You didn't need to ask to know to whom he was referring.

"Let's make the most of now." You breathed, "I'm happy to just be at your side."

A shaky exhale, his thumb trailing the seam of your ribs, up the side of your neck and then gliding along your lower lip. It was a distracted gesture, a longing one that was a suppression of a larger urge.

"I want you at my side. Always." He mumbled, hoarse. "I just wish it were easier."

There was nothing to be said, your thoughts were his and you agreed wholeheartedly. You resumed your slow dance, around the fountain- time had ceased to exist but the moment of solace was disrupted by the familiar ring of Zen's phone.

Smiling apologetically, he withdrew and answered. Pacing to the other side of the fountain, brows drawn, he looked troubled. You knew that this call would signal Zen's departure, that look on his face always signified such. Soon the call was over and he returned to confirm your suspicions.

"That was my agent, he just got here and was rather upset that he couldn't find me inside the villa. He tells me my presence is required. I'm sorry- I have to go."

Despite your disappointment, you understood. "It's alright, I'll come along too in a little while. I'm sure the Director is eager to sell me as Korea's newest 'thing'. You know how he is."

"Do I ever." Zen grunted, then more tenderly he said. "I'll see you soon."

"Of course, see you later." You said, sitting back on the fountain's edge as you watched Zen disappear down the garden path.

Left alone in the peace of the garden the night became alive around you, soft gurgles of a nearby stream, the hum of crickets. It was within this sanctuary that you heard an alien noise, not the soft sounds of nature but angry mutters of humans. The disruption was coming from over a towering wall of bush, two voices speaking quietly but heatedly. Edging closer you tried to get within earshot- magically compelled to listen to the odd argument.

Upon inching closer you began to recognize the two voices in question- belonging to none other than Jin and Jake! You couldn't see them but now, ear pressed to the prickly branches of fern, you could hear each word.

"I told you to back off! I warned you! To leave her alone-!" Jin was shouting in a yielded whisper, voice quivering with rage. "Why do you never listen?!"

You knew you shouldn't be listening to this- you were intruding on a private conversation. Yet . . . who did they mean by 'her'?

Jake responded in a tone you'd never heard him use before, low calm and icy cold.

"Mind your own buisness, Jin. This is out of your hands."

There was a scuffle of feet, a clash of what- limbs? "Don't you dare."

Again, Jake's voice was despondent- so different from his usual visage. "I've already made my choice, it's done."

A tension so thick you felt it rise over the hedge and strangle the will to move from your body. Silence, then a resigned sigh, more akin to a hiss. Then followed by the patter of footfalls, and then you realized- far too late that those hurried feet were rounding the corner you hide behind. Scrambling backwards, desperate to hide yourself you fell on your bottom.

Then, in a blink, Jake stood over you- eyes stony and mouth screwed into a knot. Gasping, his eyes fell to you and his mask of fury morphed into one of shock.

"What are you doing here?"

sorry for the prolonged break. holidays killed my motivation. please review/fave/follow if you'd like to see more of this.

thanks again

3 suicidal