\\\\

"You're nervous." He took a swig of cola and offered her the bottle, which she refused. He set it back down in the console.

"Nope, I'm not," Casey replied blithely. Her hair was in two pigtails; utilitarian as they'd packed up their dorms and squished everything they could into the Prince. Nora had made a trip the weekend before with Lizzie, to collect most of their clothes and whatever bulky pieces weren't necessary for their final week of exams.

Derek ran his thumbs over the well-worn steering wheel. "Well. You seem nervous," he taunted, throwing her an expression that never failed to trigger her.

It worked. "Well, I'm not," she snapped back. "I'm perfectly fine. I'm excited for the summer."

"Uh huh." He ran his tongue over his bottom molars; a reflex as he tried to think of the right thing to say, and whether or not he should bother talking at all. "Well, if you're chickening out on the Plan-"

"I'm not," she chirped. "Tonight, we'll tell them."

"I was going to say, if you're chickening out on the Plan, we can at least spend the rest of the summer letting out all our stress via petty emotional fights at the dinner table."

"I thought you were going to say, 'seeing other people,'" she retorted.

"Nope. I don't share. Of all people, you should know that." He tossed a devilish grin her way. "Besides, it'll be pretty obvious that something's going on when I'm in your room at midnight, and you're screaming De-rek at the top of your lungs as you lock your thighs around my head-"

"De-rek!" Casey's eyes were huge and round. Her hand clapped over her mouth. "Oh my God, I don't think I'll ever live it down, will I-"

"Nope, never. But to be fair, you'll probably never see your suitemate again now that the year's over…"

For once, the two of them had spent the night at her place, only two days before. Her roommate was staying the night with her boyfriend across campus, so Casey had texted an invitation. They'd been having a heavy makeout session, thoroughly enjoying their time alone. He'd murmured in her ear- "let me lick you, Case, let me make you come"- and she'd stunned him by shimmying out of her sleeping shorts. Derek had been all too willing to worship at her alter. When she climaxed under his tongue, with his two fingers sheathed in her pussy and her thighs trembling and slung over his shoulders, he saw stars. To make the moment extra special, she'd squealed his name in that broken way only she could make sexy.

They'd slept blissfully. The next morning, as they made their way down to the dining hall hand-in-hand, her suitemate Gia joined them in the elevator and said, "Is this Derek?"

Casey said, "Oh, yes! I didn't know I'd told you about him! Gia, this is Derek. Derek, Gia. She's in Room 355, the room attached to my bathroom."

He extended his hand, just as the elevator dinged and Gia said, "No, you didn't tell me about him. I heard you hollering his name last night and am kinda surprised to see you up so early. Sounded like he really took it out of you." With a saucy grin, Gia slipped out of the elevator, leaving a mortified Casey and a smug Derek in her wake.

He grinned at the memory, while simultaneously trying to keep it at bay- he didn't need a hard-on for the duration of the drive home. But now the night was playing in his head, and he couldn't bite down the smirk.

"You're thinking about what Gia said, aren't you?" Casey asked shrewdly.

"No," he replied innocently. "I'm thinking about what Gia heard, and everything else that happened. But not about what she said."

"Oh my God," Casey groaned, covering her face with her hands. "I'm so embarrassed."

"Don't be," he told her confidently. "It was awesome."

She made a grumpy sound from behind her hands.

"Seriously." His voice broke low as he confessed, "And now I can't stop thinking about how you taste."

Casey peeked through her fingers. "Derek," she whispered, warningly, but her eyes were shining.

To hell with it. He already had a boner. Why not have some fun? "I can't wait to taste you again, to get you on your back," he ventured.

"Funny, I was going to say the same thing," she replied quietly.

He whistled low. "Dirty girl." Casey's cheeks were red, and her voice quiet, but the privacy allowed for her naughtiness to tiptoe out.

"Maybe we could make some good-natured bets this summer," she suggested lightly.

"Of what variety?"

"The romantic variety." Her hand slipped over the console to rest on his knee. Then, inched up his thigh. "Perhaps the sexual variety."

His mouth went dry as her fingertips brushed across the hard-on straining against his jeans. "Yeah. Just to keep our skills sharp. What do you propose?"

"I'll think on it." Her palm flattened, rubbing his cock through his jeans. His eyelids fluttered, resisting the urge to close- no, focus on the road.

"We'll be home in an hour and a half," he said. "You'd better think quick."

"Derek, is this distracting?"

"Huh?" he was practically panting as she palmed him.

"This." Her fingers squeezed around the bulge of him. "Is it distracting?"

"Uh huh," he replied, mindlessly, as his hips rocked.

"Well then I'll stop." Her hand was gone, withdrawn. Derek's gaze snapped to her, to prim-and-proper Casey again as she popped the visor mirror down and checked her lip gloss. Back to normal, as if she hadn't just been giving him hand-service on the highway-

"Casey," he growled. "Now you're just being a tease."

"Nope. I just prioritize safety." She gave him her trademark superior smile.

"Goddamnit," he mumbled in frustration.

"Think of it like a preview," she suggested happily, but her eyes had that naughty, sexy gleam. "I'll keep thinking on our bets for the summer."

He flipped on his blinker and changed lanes. "You mean, we'll take bets on pranks and stuff?"

Casey's mouth puckered in thought, brows raised. "No, I think we should make them productive bets. Inspire ourselves to improve. Then it's a win-win."

"Meaning?" He wasn't getting it.

Her face was lit up, and sexy Casey was suddenly replaced by keener nerd-Casey, who looked like she'd been stricken by a bolt of lame-o inspiration. It made his heart patter in his chest, even as his face twisted into horror by habit. He braced himself for her next words: "Like...volunteering. Whoever volunteers more gets to call in a favor from the other. Or...visits more museums, or worthwhile hobbies or something. Ooh! I heard some Universities offer open lectures to watch online for free! Or even donate blood! Things like that!"

"All that for a blowjob?!" he yelped.

Her mouth turned downward. "Are you trying to say that my blowjobs aren't worth the effort, De-rek?"

"No, but God- don't you even know what summer vacation is all about?! Besides, your weird little nerd list kind of takes the fun and spontaneity out of messin' around-"

She sat back in her seat. "Fine. But think about it. We won't be able to mess around as freely or frequently as we would at school...so we've got to be strategic. And wouldn't it be all the more inspiring and exciting if we had these great motivators?"

"Maybe," he replied in a deadened tone. "I guess I thought our parents would just…"

Casey's eyebrows shot so high he thought she might lose them in her hair. "Let us sleep in the same bedroom and mess around on the couch?"

"No," he said, annoyed. "I guess it would just be like- we're adults and as long as we're not doing anything gross in front of the others...I don't know. I guess I had a couple girls up to my bedroom during high school so…"

"Oh, trust me, I know," she groused. "I share a wall with you. You had no tact and the girls you brought were disruptive to say the least. I was always so pissed at George and Mom for letting you pull that sort of thing."

"Jealous?" he asked, though to be honest, he couldn't remember the names or faces of any of those girls he'd brought up there. Maybe Sally, once. Otherwise, they were just sort of...interchangeable. Nameless.

"Maybe," she admitted, voice tight. When he glanced at her, he saw she was staring hard out the window at the passing landscape.

He'd never thought about it. Suddenly, he felt like a dick. "Hey, Casey- I'm sorry. If I'd known, back then…" What? He would've…? He didn't know exactly what he was trying to say, so he just cleared his throat. "They didn't mean anything. And they don't compare."

"I know," she said, softly.

"I mean it." Why was his throat suddenly sticking? God, this was happening a lot around her lately. "If- if I could've traded a hundred girls for just a second glance from you, I would've. Back then, and now, too."

"A second glance? I think you're forgetting how much we fought. Think back to 'pre-college, pre-best friend days. You already got plenty of my attention, D, and I don't think you wanted half of it back then." She was grinning at him fondly.

"Well, no, I didn't want you nagging me, or going all gooey about fuckin' Max or whatever," he clarified impertinently, "but...Jesus, Casey. There was no one I wanted more than you. If I thought I had a shot at being with you, and not in some stupid fake 'happy clappy family' way, but in the way I really wanted you...I mean, there's no competition."

"I was a little jealous," Casey said, then. "I once overheard Colleen Wheeler and Anna Frittman talking about you in the bathroom during lunch, and they were getting pretty descriptive about your skills...mostly kissing and groping, but I was eavesdropping and to say I was 'intrigued' would be an understatement. I think I stared at your hands for a week."

"Is that so?" he asked, his pride evident. "I wish you would've said something-"

"Uh huh. Because George and Nora would've been thrilled," Casey replied haughtily. Then, as if stricken with the reality that she was going to have to confront that reality shortly, she got quiet again.

"Hey. You sure you're cool with the Plan?" he asked, only a little panicked that maybe, after all, she wouldn't see it through. He wasn't exactly sure what they were gonna do, if not tell them...it would be pretty impossible not to, right? Surely they couldn't keep up the push-and-shove-like-kids charade all summer, right? They were past that now, right?

"Yeah. I'm cool. I mean, we have to do it, right?"

"Right." He adjusted the rearview mirror, needlessly, but wanted something to do with his hands. "I guess they'll find a way to accept it, right? And if they don't...well, we can always go back to Kingston and get some shit apartment if we have to, just to get through summer." That's what the "worst case scenario" was that she'd detailed for him. He didn't want to think about the million other things that would follow that particular route, but...well, there was no use getting ahead of themselves. No, Casey had drawn up "the Plan," and they'd hashed it out and agreed. He'd dutifully nodded along as Casey painstakingly outlined the most likely responses of their family. She had four different "best case scenarios" and their variations drafted, and only one aforementioned ominous "worst case scenario."

They'd be fine; they had each other.

They'd take it as it came.

He reached over to hold her hand. The smile she returned could only be described as queasy.

He should've seen it coming, but he (stupidly) convinced himself that Casey was just nervous, and all was going to go according to the Plan. Mostly because it was the Plan, damnit.

So when the moment came, in the guise of a question they'd suspected would be asked in some form, Derek assumed they were ready.

Edwin had just finished regalling them with a side-splitting story about his failed first date with his latest crush, and Casey was laughing so hard that she nearly spat out her drink. Derek, grinning openly, pushed her napkin toward her with a, "Watch it, Case, or you'll soak us all."

Nora, with eyes still twinkling from Edwin's story, caught the gesture. And then, she asked, "So, Derek. Casey. First year of college down, and successful."

"I need a moment to brag about this boy- my son! Solid B's, first semester of college!" George, still grinning from the overall mirth of the dinner table, raised his glass of ice water in a toast.

Derek grinned and raised his glass in return. Marti squealed, raising her cup, while the others all followed suit. Casey, with her sparkling perfect eyes, raise hers too- and clinked it lightly against his.

If anyone was looking at them, couldn't they see?

But then again, these people had also watched him run his hands all over her body on national TV and hadn't been any the wiser...

The moment was coming though. Casey had plotted at least twenty verbal prompts that they could plan to preface the "discussion" and he had the preternatural feeling that it was about to play out like clockwork.

Good. He was prepared. They were prepared.

Nora finished her sip of milk, and then asked, "So, college students. What was the best part of your first year of college?"

Derek's eyes flew to Casey, then to the clock to register the time. 6:14 PM. A moment that would go down in infamy. He looked back at Casey expectantly, not minding that his heart started to thud just a little faster.

Casey was looking at him with a stricken expression. Like she'd been caught in the middle of a play, without any lines.

Oh shit.

The whole table was growing quieter, and the atmosphere was getting awkward as they waited through the silence- watching the two oldest children stare at each other, as if they'd never seen the other before.

Nora tried again, voice slightly higher. "Guys?"

"Sorry, Mom, I just didn't want to talk over- over Derek," Casey breathed, her cheeks turning pink. Her eyes skipped from his, to her plate, to Nora, to Lizzie, to the ceiling. "I'll- uh, I'll talk first. If Derek doesn't mind."

He made a casual "go ahead," gesture, but his gaze implored her- I'm here, we're good, we can do this. You got this.

She wasn't looking at him though. Instead she stammered, "This year. Oh wow. This year. So much happened- uh, I'm- well, I guess the best thing to happen to me this year was...finding out...getting to-togeth…"

Just then, Simon tossed his plastic bowl off his high chair tray with a loud shriek. Both Casey and Derek jumped at the sound, jarred out of the moment.

"Hey hey, it's okay. Sorry, I forget it's probably shocking to be around toddler table manners when you're not used to it. Here, Simon." She transferred a few peas from her plate to Simon's tray, where he happily gobbled them up. "Okay, Casey, what were you going to say?"

Casey looked a little dazed, her eyebrows knotting together in a way that made Derek's heart squeeze unpleasantly. She was staring at Simon too hard; Derek could practically see the cliche inner-monologue rolling through her mind. And then, when she opened her mouth, he just knew she wasn't going to go through with it. "Sorry, Mom. The best thing about this year was getting to spend time with Derek."

He waited, every nano-second that slipped by further proof that she wasn't going through with the Plan.

He wanted to feel affronted, he wanted to look at her with censure and make a face. But mostly...his chest just felt strangely empty.

This was the moment, the perfect moment- and she didn't take it.

He should've sensed it on their drive home.

"Aw, there we have it. Did someone get that on record?" George was still goofy from Edwin's story, from the whole evening's festive reunion. Apparently the weirdness that Derek thought descended on the room like a fog was only bothersome to him. Derek looked around the table stiffly. Everyone else was still reveling in the "one big happy family" feeling.

And Casey, evidently, wasn't going to ruin that any time soon.

No, God forbid- they'd waited this long for a big happy family moment...and who was Casey McDonald to ruin that, even if it was to share the truth? Even if the truth was good fucking news (he knew it, he knew it, it was the best thing that could've ever happened so why was she not taking the moment?).

Suddenly, Derek, with a determination that soaked every cell in his body, said, "Want to know the best part about my year, Nora?"

Nora, and probably everyone else at the table, seemed a little surprised by the force of his tone. Still, warmly, she said, "Of course, Derek. What was it?"

"Actually, it's more like an 'is' the best part of my year, because from what I can tell, it won't be ending any time soon." Derek looked across the table at Casey. He knew he had his gameface on; her eyes widened at his unwavering, dark gaze. "I have an announcement. I hope you'll all know that this isn't easy but I hope you'll be able to be happy for me and-"

"DEREK HAS A NEW GIRLFRIEND," Casey shrieked like a never-before-used emergency siren, loud enough that they probably heard her out in Saskatchewan, and loud enough to effectively silence Derek.

Well, more like stun him. His brain slugged along, trying to figure out what was happening. She was confessing like this? This wasn't the Plan! She was going renegade-

"And, like, he's too embarrassed to bring her around here but he really likes her and yeah, whoops, sorry, Der, didn't mean to bust your secret-" Casey was yammering at light-speed, an obnoxious tone he'd heard a thousand times in high school, finally shutting herself up by gulping down ice water like a deranged camel.

His jaw was hanging loose, staring at Casey with a mixture of betrayal, outrage, and hurt.

"Derek, is that true?" George's eyebrows were raised with delight.

"It is, look at his face!" Edwin clapped him on his back. "Cat's out of the bag! Thanks Casey!"

The "Casey mask" faded; in its place, each of her features was twisted with guilt.

He could feels his ears turning red. Breathing out slowly, through his nostrils, and beseeching God for some patience, he said, "Yeah. Thanks, Casey."

Edwin hooted. "Oh, come on, man. We've met your girlfriends before! Why didn't you tell us?"

In that moment, with Casey refusing to look at him, and his dad, Edwin and Lizzie haranguing him for details about his "mystery college girl," Derek wanted nothing more than to disappear into the floor. This was worse than the night on the porch, when he thought she was going to reject him. This was practically rejection, unto itself- after everything that had happened, she was pulling this bullshit?

This was not the Plan.

He felt sick.

"I didn't tell you," he gritted out, focusing on his dad, "because I think she's something special. But I'm afraid she doesn't feel the same way. I guess I didn't want to be the only one excited to tell everybody, if she wasn't. She isn't even comfortable telling her family."

In his peripheral, Casey took another gulp of ice water.

Did Nora's eyes narrow? Derek focused solely on his dad.

"Why wouldn't she want to tell her family?" Edwin asked, shaking his head. "You're awesome, man!"

"I don't know. She had an opportunity but I guess she decided not to." He forced out a crackling, rude laugh. "Maybe she's ashamed of me. Who's to say, Ed? Point is, you all know now...so, don't bug me about it." Casey's silence was like a gaping wound, oozing worse with every missed interruption. Because he was a self-destructive asshole, he wanted to push his thumb deeper into the wound, so he added ruefully, "But that, Nora, was the best part of my year. Who knows if it'll last though, you know?"

Nora nodded, slowly, with an expression he'd never seen on her face.

She probably felt sorry for him.

He felt sorry for him. He couldn't help but send an acidic look toward Casey- his girlfriend, his cowardly lying girlfriend- but she was studying the ice cubes at the bottom of her glass. His words probably made her want to cry.

Good. He sort of wanted to cry, because of her big fat stupid mouth. What was she thinking?!

Nora opened her mouth to say something else, probably something comforting and motherly and utterly bullshit considering the fact that he was talking about her daughter, when Marti declared, "I don't think she's ashamed of you, Smerek. If you love her, then she knows she's lucky."

George raised his brow at Marti's word choice. "I don't know if it's love, yet, Marti, and there's no pressure to put labels on it, son, if you two are still figuring it out-

"It is love. Thanks, Smarti." Was it possible for his heart to feel bruised? The emptiness was abating, and a foreign pain was starting to set in.

Casey stiffened at his words. Then, she looked up at him, and he barely wanted to look at her in that moment, so he couldn't hold her gaze for more than half a blink. In a soft voice, she said, "I'm sorry, Derek. I know it's love. I didn't mean to-"

He shrugged, dejected and hating this whole fucking pastoral dinner scene with a vengeance he hadn't felt since he was 16. He wanted to get out. "Whatever. Listen, I told Sam we'd stop by Ralph's tonight. I'm supposed to pick him up right after dinner, so I'm gonna jet."

"But you're on dish duty," Lizzie reminded him.

"I'll do it, Lizzie. Derek, don't-" she swallowed, then said, in a voice too kind for him to listen to at this moment, "don't worry about it. I'll clean up."

"Thanks," he said back flatly. He barely restrained himself from adding "sis," to it, just to piss her off- but he didn't. That wouldn't fucking help anything. Instead he pushed back from the table loudly and grabbed his keys from the entry console.

It was going to be a long summer; what the hell was Casey thinking? Maybe it had just started to dawn on her….maybe at Queens', they'd been a "thing" but here...at home, she was regretting him. What if they went back to what they'd been before? Or worse- the regret created distance? What the hell was he supposed to do with that?

He couldn't stop his brain from snapping through the scenarios, particularly the ones he feared most. Her, locking her door to him. Avoiding him. Putting on her "Casey the Perfect" mask and never letting him get under her skin again. Never letting him get past the facade because it was too dangerous. They were too combustible.

He was being fatalistic. But his brain wouldn't stop. He pulled the Prince over on Byron Baseline Road, trying to compose himself. He wanted his brain to just stop but the images kept coming, kept taunting…

Casey not answering his calls. He'd sabotage it by trying to prove how unbothered he was, and start dating without discretion. He'd want her to know. He'd date her floor-mates, her Drama Club buddies. She thought sharing a wall with him in high school was bad? He'd show her. He'd go out of his way to flaunt his heartbreaker reputation in front of her. He'd drink like a fish. Eventually he'd stop hurting, right? Eventually, he'd forget about the stupid ideas he'd had about her, about their future...he might even be able to talk to her again, albeit never with the closeness they'd found…

But fuck, one day she'd undoubtedly come home with a boyfriend. And he'd sabotage that. Then she'd come home with another, until eventually he wouldn't be able to keep up, and she'd bring home "the One" who she didn't regret, and wasn't embarrassed to tell their family about, and she'd expect him to play along and be fucking happy for her because that's just the sort of stupid, asinine thing that Casey would expect.

Because there was no Casey without Derek, and there was no Derek without Casey. Of course she'd want him to be part of these special moments, even if there was a wall of secrecy and shame forever between them.

He yanked his hands through his hair.

Would she be cruel enough to ask him to stand for her wedding? Fine, he could be, too. He'd find the hottest, smartest woman in the world (who still probably wouldn't compare, because she wouldn't be Casey, but he'd tried his damnedest anyway), and he'd be sure to repay every grievance tenfold. Because then she'd know and she could think back to this night, to 6:14 PM when they could've had a different reality-

He wanted to break something, or to scream or…

His cheeks were wet.

Astonished, he touched them. Dumbfounded, he caught his own red-eyed, contemptuous reflection in his rearview mirror.

He was crying?

He hadn't cried since- Jesus, he couldn't remember when.

Holy shit, his brain had run away with him there. Was that what Casey felt like at any given day, being prone to overanalyze? Could her thought process be nearly as hellish and traitorous? His brain rarely went into overdrive like that. Agonizing over things that hadn't come to pass.

God, the misery was so real though.

He swiped at his cheeks, took a few deep breaths, then went to the corner store to buy cigarettes.

He smoked an entire pack of cigarettes at Jaycees Park. He was surprised no one had come over to reprimand the 19 year old guy sprawled on the mulch near the basketball court, sullen and angry and lighting up cigarette-after-cigarette.

Luckily, hardly anybody even came to the Park...he was free to wallow and waste time until the sun set. He ignored three calls from Casey before he finally just shut his phone down.

He'd talk to her later.

He didn't even know if he wanted to talk to her.

What the hell had she been thinking?

That day on his bed, the first night they'd slept side-by-side, seemed so far away now. She'd said she loved him, then. She'd said it once more since then, too, when he came out of his maths exam pumping his fist in victory. She was waiting for him, peppering kisses on his cheeks as she breathed, "I love you! That's awesome!"

So much for love. They'd been so sure that telling their parents was the right thing to do. They'd agreed it would have to happen eventually, because- well, they had a future.

"We have to do it. It'll just get worse, if we walk in to make another announcement and we didn't even follow step one," she had said, as they shared their Wednesday night Chinese food last week.

He'd felt a little lost, not wanting to presume. "Another announcement?"

Her cheeks had flushed, and she looked indignant. "Oh, come on, Derek. I'm talking about...you know. Next steps. Those next steps can't even be next steps, if we don't take the first step."

Derek just chewed on his crab cheese wonton with a baffled expression. Then, it dawned on him. "You mean, like, moving in together?"

Casey raised her brows high. "Well...well, yeah. I guess so. That." She paused, gazing out the window thoughtfully. "That, and other steps." The look she'd given him was so charged with sincere hope that he wanted to launch himself across the table to kiss her.

Ironic. So much for "next steps" and needing to prepare for their commitment. Who was the one lacking in commitment now? She'd called him a "cad," many times- well, tonight, she was the cad. She didn't follow through, and she'd made up that stupid lie that was going to certainly bite them in the ass, if it didn't soundly topple their relationship first.

When he got home, it was late- the only light on in the entire house was the one over the kitchen sink. Everything was still. His phone remained black; he didn't want to see any texts from her, didn't want to see her excuses or her flimsy plans for "alternative plans" or some other fancy Casey-esque word.

If he was the Lord of Lies, he'd better start plotting now...he'd undoubtedly wake up tomorrow and have to solve Operation: Fake College Girlfriend somehow.

He shuffled toward the fridge.

Just as he wrapped his palm around the handle, someone cleared their throat quietly.

Startled, Derek whirled to find Nora leaning against the counter nearby. She was dressed in her black night-robe, and was barely visible in the dark.

"Sorry," she said lightly.

"You scared me." His voice sounded raspy from smoking. He didn't care. "Didn't know you were there."

She came closer, nose wrinkling at the stench of cigarettes that clung to him. "How were Ralph and Sam?"

"Oh- urh, fine. Same old, same old."

"Oh really?" Her eyes were unreadable. "Interesting. Sam called the house phone at about 9 and wondered if you were back from Queens' yet. He said your phone was off but he'd like to hang out tomorrow if you're around."

Derek blinked, trying to work his way through the nuances to find a palatable lie- then, suddenly, felt tired. Fuck it. "Oh."

"Yeah. Oh, Derek." Nora sighed, looking at him with something like….pity?

Instinctively, he began to bristle. "So what. I needed to go have a smoke. It's claustrophobic, being here…"

She silenced him by wrapping her arms around him.

Derek froze, but Nora wasn't deterred. She persisted in her embrace for a good half a minute before giving him a loving pat on the back and stepping back. Her hands held his upper-arms, eyes liquid-like and wise as she said, "I know you love her."

Oh, great. Her, the fake college girlfriend who he couldn't be bothered to make up a name for at the moment. He hadn't wanted to bother with any more lies tonight, but if obligation called- "Listen, it'll all work out. I wish Casey hadn't said anything, because my business is my business and-"

"Shhh." Nora squeezed his arms, unrelenting with that look. "Derek, I know. I know it's Casey."

His neck tingled. It took a long pause before he whispered, "What?"

"I know you're in love with Casey. And that she loves you."

He couldn't believe his ears.

"Casey talked to me tonight."

"She did?" His chest felt full. Relief? Dread? Wonder?

"Yes. She loves you, Derek. She told me that you've been seeing each other." Nora released him, gesturing for him to have a seat. He plunked down obediently, mystified. "She was horribly sorry that she lied. She said you two had agreed to tell us tonight. Is that true?" At his nod, Nora answered, "And it sounds like you were trying to do just that. Casey...well, I don't have to make any excuses for her. You know her; and I should hope, if you love her, you know the good and the bad, and love her for it all the same."

"I- I just didn't think you'd…" he began sheepishly.

"Derek, honey. I may not be your mother, but I love you like one of my children. I've watched you grow up from a boy to a man these past few years...especially this past year. Especially these past few months. I know your bravado and your mischief. It drives me a little crazy sometimes, but I also think it's what makes you so lovable. I also know that you have a heart of gold." Her lips spread in a conspiring smile. "And I know that you've been like a magnet to my daughter since the day you two met."

He swallowed, nodding wordlessly. It was true. His whole world had trembled and been trying to reset itself ever since she first popped around the corner with a shy wave (for Ralph), smiling and gawkish and nervous and earth-rending. He'd been an observer, sinking back into the lockers to let Ralph bumble his way through her introductory tour of Thompson. Thank God she'd been too focused on Ralph to glance his way- he'd looked properly spooked. Maybe the word Nora used was exactly right- magnet. He'd been enthralled, hanging on every word as Casey and Ralph ate lunch together. His knuckles had cracked with the struggle to stay calm as Ralph began to question her about a boyfriend, until finally he couldn't bear it anymore- he'd interrupted, forcing himself to avoid direct eye contact as much as possible as he purposefully and rudely goaded her into leaving.

He'd almost felt afraid of her, that day, though he refused to admit it. He was afraid of those Casey blue eyes, and the fact that everything about her seemed to entrance him. Even worse, he was afraid of that the world might catch on if he didn't get his act together, and quick. Even Ralph, poor simple Ralph, responded in the way that Derek knew they all would, at the prospect of Casey falling for her stepbrother: "Ew."

In high school, it was terrifying. The world seemed so small then. And then, there was Casey, succinctly summarizing her feelings within twenty seconds of finding out his real identity: "You're turning my 'just maybe' into a 'most definite no." She wasn't just talking about their parents' relationship- she really meant him. He felt like he'd been socked in the gut. He'd never been cut down to size so brutally in so eloquent a sentence- and her passion left no doubt in his brain that she meant it. She wasn't intrigued by him, or captivated by him as so many of the girls he knew were...instead, this girl gave her perfect smile to everybody else on the planet except him.

He didn't need this shit.

So, he'd leaned forward, voice snake-like and a tad cruel as he confided, "Well, then we're on the same side." If she loathed him, he could absolutely return that feeling. Then, when he told her about "Operation Disengagement," her eyes had sparked in a way that made his skin feel electric, and he was 100% sure all over again that, yes, it's a good idea to get this girl out of my life fast. He made it a point to flirt in front of her, just to prove that most, normal-brained girls found him appealing, even if she didn't. Get rid of her quick, by whatever means necessary. Freak her out, offend her, show her how impossible you are- get away.

Obviously, it didn't work out. He'd watched her march back to his dad, that damnable (attractive) resolution written all over her, and give her blessing to him- and felt his heart splinter a bit. Gravity shifted as he realized this girl was a force unlike anything he'd ever seen before, and his whole world rearranged to include her in it- both in the most obvious physical sense (she was going to be moving in soon) and in an elusive, terrifying and heart-pounding sense (his destiny had just come crashing into his life, sporting 90s bangs and a retainer, and he was never going to be the same).

The four years following were a half-hell...living in the same space as his combined-greatest obsession and fiercest rival, feeling a little more lost to her passion every day. And yet it all culminated in Chinese Wednesdays, and bickering in the Prince, and feeling like Heaven couldn't be better than a late night holding hands and talking to Casey until they both fell asleep, fingers entwined. It had been worth it.

And go figure- Nora had seen it since the start. Or so she was telling him. He must be dreaming.

Nora continued, "We wondered, when George and I initially started talking marriage...if we should be concerned about this. It was either going to be fireworks or an explosion so...well, you know how we put it off for the longest time. Then you met and it was the explosion. There was no getting around it; it was way worse than what we'd thought. In fact, it even made me start to wish that there was something more there, just to explain the catastrophe. Neither George or I had ever seen anything like it. It went way beyond personality clash...so, I thought, maybe one day, if you two could get over your...God, I just have to call it what it is- your sexual tension, then...well, I think you two would be good for each other. You already were good for each other, even when you were at each other's throats."

Nora leaned back, shaking her head at the bewildered expression on Derek's face. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. But Nora wasn't done. "She comes alive around you; I've always said, Casey will need a man who keeps her engaged. And lets her be who she naturally is. She's a smart girl whose brain and heart run off with her sometimes...and I think you ground her in the present, and ground her in herself. And I think she does the same for you. I think you're both chaotic, in your own ways...and together you sort of counterbalance."

"So. Wait." He held up a hand. This was a lot to absorb, even beyond Nora's psycho-analysis babble. This was five years, being turned on its axis. "Let me get this straight. You hoped we'd end up- together?"

Nora shrugged. "I hoped my daughter would find someone who would be totally enraptured by her for who she is, and not the illusion of who she could be. You protected her when it mattered most, and had her back. You reminded her that there was life beyond boys like Truman French. And...Derek?" Her smile widened, and an eyelid dropped into a wink. "I'm not blind. After a certain age, women get a certain sense...and suddenly, every glance and every little ploy isn't so secret anymore. It's especially obvious when I was helping you pack up your dorm-room and found the monogram necklace I got her last Christmas on the floor under your bed. But I've learned in life that sometimes...it's best not to push, and to let some things come out naturally."

A laugh burst from Derek's chest; he felt like his body was loosening, letting go of a tension he hadn't realized was building in his very bones. Maybe it had been there for five years. He wasn't sure. He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes, exhausted but joyous. "I never thought you'd...you're surprisingly cool, Nora. Obviously. But now, I...really appreciate it."

She hugged him again, doing that rocking-motion that mothers seemed to innately do. He let himself relax into her arms, closing his eyes and letting every gentle swing knock his heartache and exhaustion even farther away.

"Forgive her for tonight, Derek," Nora murmured onto the crown of his head. "And thank you for being brave and trying to make everything right."

"I ran away," he reminded her flatly. "Not that I regret it. I was- agh. I still am pissed, to be honest."

"I know. And you deserved to be. But she clearly feels as strongly for you as you do her, or she wouldn't have come to me."

He grunted.

Nora nodded thoughtfully. "I want to be upset that you thought your dad and I would be so opposed; that you thought you had to hide it and collaborate over a big plan to unveil it like it was some sort of dirty secret."

It was, he wanted to say, but he didn't want to curse himself and say anything that might make Nora change her mind. He didn't want to be the cause of any epiphanies that might overturn everything. He was still processing the epiphany his stepmother had just loosed on him.

"But on the other hand, I know you two were clearly taking this seriously from the get-go...and that's all a parent can ask for. If you're smart about this, you'll be smart about...other things." Nora cleared her throat. "But that's a topic for your dad. I'm talking purely emotional stuff here."

"Does Dad know?"

"No, not yet. But I'll talk to him. Then you should talk to him. We've made our jokes in the past about you two...so I don't think it'll be quite the disaster that you two were apparently expecting. We just expect honesty." She narrowed her eyes at him before adding, "Need I remind you- you two were practically adults when you met. It would've been happy luck if you decided to bond as siblings; even better luck to bond as friends."

Derek ventured, "And if we bonded as more…?"

"Then that's your decision. There is nothing illegal or biologically unsound about your relationship." Nora patted his shoulder. "Take a deep breath. One day at a time. We love you two, and want this to work if that's what you both want. And before you have a chance to doubt it, I'll tell you- Casey does want it to work. So please, cut her some slack, Derek."

He nodded, then, with prickling eyes, reached out for Nora for a final hug.

How did he get so lucky? In fifteen minutes, under the single light of the kitchen sink, Nora had done the impossible: she made the world right again. Hell, she might've made it more right than it had ever been.

"I'm going to go wake up Casey," he told her. "Tell her we talked, tell her I plan on talking to Dad tomorrow."

"Sounds good. You can tell your siblings when the time is right. Though...I think you'll find that Marti will be 100% onboard."

At the mention of his little sister's name, a grin spread over Derek's lips. "Yeah? Why's that?"

"She used to naively talk about how you two would get married. Now that she's older, she still hasn't dropped it...and she vehemently told me when you were away at school that if Casey found a boy to marry who wasn't her Smerek, she was going to ruin the engagement."

They shared a laugh. Derek pecked Nora on the cheek, and was halfway up the stairs when she called in a low, quiet voice, "Derek?"

He was antsy to get up to Casey. But he didn't want to come across as annoyed; not when Nora had been a Godsend to him. So he asked, "Yes?"

"I really am impressed by the man you've become. My daughter's very lucky." A pause, then, "I'm sure your dad will talk to you about physical stuff- but I want to tell you to please keep doors open from here on out."

He swallowed back a naughty grin, and in a tone of uncrackable sweetness, he said, "Of course, Nora."

"I mean it. My house, my rules." He gave her a thumbs up over his shoulder, and heard her say "hmmm," before he rounded the corner up the stairs.

He cracked Casey's door. She was asleep, but not comfortably. She was still dressed in her outfit from earlier, curled on top of the covers. She clearly didn't intend to fall asleep. She was waiting for him.

Derek crossed to her bed softly, kneeling beside it and taking her hand. He drew slow circles on her palm until her fingers curled around his, signalling her attention. Her eyes fluttered open.

"Derek," she whispered.

"Casey," he replied, evenly.

"I am so, so sorry." Even her whisper was scratchy from tears.

"I know." He kissed her palm, eyes dark and glinting from the glow of her corner nightlight. "I love you, Casey."

"I love you, Derek. I hope I didn't ruin everything between us tonight. I don't know what came over me. I feel like such an idiot."

"No comment on the idiot thing," he said solemnly.

She made a whining, piteous sound in the back of her throat.

"Seriously?" He rolled his eyes demonstratively, but kissed her palm again. "You didn't ruin everything. Nora just talked to me."

She was more alert now. Her fingers tightened around his. "She did?"

"Mhmm. She said how you told her everything…"

"And that she's happy for us?"

He nodded.

Casey's words tumbled out of her. "I was so glad when I finally just told her. She knew everything I wanted to say, knew exactly what my feelings for you were, Derek. She was so wonderful and supportive. I was so relieved, but then...when you didn't answer my calls, I was devastated all over again because it was my fault in the first place. I shouldn't have lied. I made you feel like shit, and that wasn't fair." Her eyes started to water again.

"Shh. It's weird hearing you swear." He cupped her cheek. "It doesn't matter, because the truth is out there now. And my truth…" he slid his fingers through her hair, "hasn't changed. I love you. Even if you're certifiably insane."

She didn't respond to his teasing as she replied back with vehement sincerity: "I love you too. And I want all those next steps. And I promise, I won't mess them up in the way that I did tonight. I won't lie about us ever again, to anyone. I'm not ashamed of you. You're amazing and I wouldn't trade what we have for anything."

He kissed her, his tongue brushing against her lower lip. Her lemon-flavored night-time chapstick made his muscles tighten. He felt the blood begin to rush south, toward an erection that would not be useful tonight. He broke their kiss.

"Come to bed?" she asked quietly, beseechingly. She clutched her comforter, as if beckoning him to climb in.

He shook his head. "Nora was pretty clear. I don't know what rules are going down tomorrow, after I talk to my dad, but...well, finding us in bed together won't be good for our lucky winning streak so far."

She nodded. "Right. They'd be far more willing to support us if we demonstrate our maturity and sensible decision-making.." Then, the right side of her mouth puckered in. Mischief danced in her eyes. "We can always find opportune times for lusty intrigue, when we can steal away on our own for a bit…"

He grinned impishly. "Uh huh. What, you mean if I become a regular at the museum or beat your summer reading list, you might let me cop a feel?"

"Damn. You caught me. I'm just trying to ensure we use our summer productively, in both an intellectual and carnal sense." She ran fingers through his hair, down his neck. Her expression sobered. "I love you. I want to be with you, and show you how much you mean to me. And I want you, even if you don't like the museum and don't take any online summer courses. You're- amazing, Derek. I'm sorry again."

His chest tightened. "I love you too. Now go to sleep." He kissed her again, chastely, before rising to leave.

"Hey, Derek?"

He paused at the door. "Hmm?"

"Falling in love with you was definitely the best part of my year. And Marti was right- I know I'm incredibly lucky, to have your love."

He smiled, but knew she couldn't see it in the dark. "Goodnight, Spacey."

/

A/N: Thank you for reading. I don't know if I should keep going, or if this is a good place to stop? I so enjoy these two characters and really love this fandom. Thanks for your support, let me know your thoughts in comments...especially if I should continue, or if the narrative has reached an authentic ending. Or if there's anything you'd like to see? Ah, I hope you liked it. I'm suddenly really nervous. hehehe Thank you for reading. 3