Chapter 4 - Left Behind

Meg's Bedroom

"Hmm… which shirt should I take, hmm… the pink one with the white stripe or the white one with the pink stripe?" Meg Griffin pondered to herself.

Even though they weren't due to leave for another three days, Meg was unsure if she'd have all her packing done before then. She still had to go through at least another two suitcases before she'd be done. What was dragging her behind was that it always took forever for her to finally choose on the right outfits. In fact, she had been debating to herself on this one for at least an hour or so.

"I guess I'll go with this one."

She stuffed the white and pink stripped shirt into the already overloaded suitcase.

She then oddly glared at the shirt in the suitcase. "Then again that one always makes me look fat! And I know those rides take pictures of you during the ride... I have no desire to look like a fat heffer."

She proceeded, to toss the white and pink shirt out of the suitcase.... back to square one.

Her attention was suddenly broken, as Chris barged into her room.

"MEG! I got a problem?"

"Yes it called being in my room, Chris GET OUT!"

Chris ignored his sister's scolding and asked his question. "Meg, how do you get stuff into these little bottles?"

"He showed the small bottles which were covered in sticky teal goo."

"Yuck! Chris, is that shampoo?"

"Yes… I was trying to get the shampoo out of the big bottle in the bathroom into one of these smaller bottles?"

"Huh?... Why?"

"Well because you can't bring normal toiletries on an airplane. Since, they could now be used to hide terrorist bombs or weapons on a jet liner. Also, the mandate is even higher due to the election of Barrack Obama, which has sent the homeland security advisory system to level orange... I'm just trying to be on the safe side."

Meg starred at her younger brother in disbelief.

"Chris how can you know stuff like that?"

"Well I do watch World News Tonight…"

"No, I mean how to understand… stuff like that?"

Chris was immediately insulted, "Meg, I am not dumb!"

"Chris, last week you forgot what the flusher does."

Flashback---

The Griffin's Bathroom

The Griffins are in their bathroom. Lois is holding Stewie and Brian and Meg are standing beside Lois. Peter and Chris are in the doorway of the bathroom… cowering in fear!

Lois – "Now Chris we've gone over this how many times… The flusher flushes the toilet."

Lois notices Peter cowering.

Lois – "Peter, you come in here too; you need to finally learn this as well…"

Peter – "Oh no Lois, I'm not going anywhere near that evil crapper!"

Stewie – "For once fat man I have to agree with you, I… (Glares at toilet) I don't like that thing either."

Peter – "Lois, if I flush it. I'll be pulled into an alternate dimension full of Amish people… I don't wanna be Amish… Black clothes are itchy!"

Lois – "What!? Peter who the hell told you that nonsense!?"

Brian gives a guilty chuckle

Brian – Um heh, heh, I'm sorry Lois, I had a few too many last night."

Lois glares at Brian.

Lois – "Now Chris, why don't you come over here and try..."

Chris – "Are… are you sure that the Amish aren't going to pull me into toilet."

Brain answers before Lois can speak.

Brian – "No Chris… I made that all up to scare Peter."

Chris then hesitantly walks in to the bathroom.

Lois – "Good, honey now give it a flush."

Chris – "Meg if I don't live through this, I want you to have my scab collection."

Meg – "Eww!? No way!... Gross!!"

Chris ignores Meg's insult and cautiously reaches for the flusher; he then flushes the toilet and recoils in fear to the noise.

Chris – "AHH!! AHH!! AMISH!!"

Lois – "No! no! no! Chris you did it!"

Chris – "I did… YAY!! I FLUSHED THE TOILET!!"

Stewie – (Sarcastic) "Oh YAY… good for you dumb dumb!"

Peter is annoyed.

Peter - "Wait a minute… why didn't the Amish come out and take him away?"

Brian – "Peter didn't you hear what I just said, I make the whole thing up about the Amish and the toilet."

Peter – (Insulted) "Really?"

Peter carelessly barges through the crowd in the bathroom to the toilet. He then forcefully flushes the toilet. He recoils in fear only to discover nothing's happening.

Peter – "Huh, I guess there are no Amish in the AHH!!"

Peter is sucked head first into the toilet, his large ass gets stuck for a second before he is completely sucked in. Everyone stares in disbelief.

Stewie – "Wow… I really didn't expect that."

An Amish Farm

Peter falls into the farm's barn, there two Amish men are standing.

Amish Farmer #1 – "Ah, there you are Brother Peter."

Amish Farmer #2 – "Aye yes there's work to be done."

Amish Farmer #1 – "Ah yes, time for the barn raising."

Peter – "AAHHHH!!"

---

The Griffin's Kitchen

"I say the baby is getting hungry… move it you curr!" Stewie snapped at Lois.

"Alright honey, mommy will have your food ready in just a minute," Lois lovingly replied to the irritable infant.

Just as Lois was putting Stewie's dinner in the microwave, a wearily Peter came in from the kitchen's back door. He took a seat sat in a chair across from Stewie's high chair.

"Evening honey," Lois remarked, "You're home kind of early?"

Peter was not in the greatest of moods, "Yes, I got sick of listening to the guys insulting me. Man… If I have to listen to "The Price is Right theme one more time!..."

Out of the blue The Price is Right theme started playing; Peter got immediately irritated then looked over to see Stewie holding a small MP3 player.

"Oh yes, sorry fat man I just couldn't resist."

Lois was still busy cooking Stewie's dinner; a delicious concoction of turkey mashed green beans and peas, "Well Peter have you ever thought that this may be a little friendly revenge on you."

"Friendly revenge?" Peter asked puzzled.

"DAMN YOU LOIS! MOVE IT! I'M HUNGRY!" Stewie abruptly spat out.

"Stewie… it's not nice to interrupt when someone else is talking," Lois politely scolded. "Yes Peter friendly revenge."

"How dare you interrupt me woman! Well then… if my food is not on my plate in 10 seconds I shall be forced to destroy you!... One!"

"I mean, you've done a lot of embarrassing things to the guys for the years, maybe they're just getting back at you a little."

"Two!"

"When have I embarrassed the guys?"

Stewie, took a short glare at Peter before, procuring a wooden stick out of nowhere, he then smacked Peter over the head with it.

WHACK!

Oww!!!, Peter yelped.

"You deserved that fat man, I am not going into the vault to look for a flashback, for that blatantly! generic! hook line!!"

"Stewie! Bad boy! We don't hit other people at the table," Lois scolded.

"Never mind this Lois, you've got your own fate to worry about, oh yes and by the way … Three!"

"Don't worry Peter they'll stop soon enough, just give it some time, besides you won't have to think about them when where on our trip."

"Oh yes you're right Lois! Boy I am so looking forward to this."

"I know we all can sure use this vacation?"

"Four!"

Just then Brian walked in from the living room the morning paper in his hand.

"Oh hello dog… come to watch me destroy Lois?"

Brian looked over at Stewie, "Yeah right, like that will ever happen."

Stewie glared at Brian as he opened his paper and started reading.

"One day, you shall pay for your insolence you flea bitten mutt!"

Brian ignored the insult.

"Oh boy Brian are you ready for our Disney trip?" Peter asked his friend.

Brian put down his paper for a second, "Um no Peter I'm not going," Brian replied.

"WHAT! WHY? It the happiest place on earth, well besides North Korea," Peter stated.

"Yes, I have to say I like that Kim Jong il, he sure knows how to run a country, that's for sure," Stewie added.

"Peter I'm not going to tell how wrong that statement is, it'd be far too much effort on my part, but no I'm not going."

Peter was rather dumbfounded, "WHY!!"

"Because there are so many other things that I'd rather do than have my wallet sucked dry Michael Isner."

"Uh What? Who?" Peter wondered.

"Wait a minute, where was on my death to Lois countdown? AHH! DAMN YOU FAT MAN AND DOG!! You've made me lose my track of thought with your incessant! nonsensical! rambling!"

"He's the guy who runs Disney Peter," Lois answered.

"Ah now yes I remember… Lois!… Five!..."

"Brian, why are you skipping out on the chance to get free booze?"

"Six!"

"Peter, I already said I'm not… Free Booze? What… what… are you talking about Peter?" Brian was immediately intrigued.

"Seven!"

"Epcot is giving away free… booze!..."

"Really… Peter where did you hear this?"

"Eight!"

"I read about it on the Disney website."

"Fat Man… you used the internet!?... My god I'm not sure whether I should me amazed or terrified… NINE!"

"Yes Brian free booze… all this week!"

"Peter, are you sure of this?"

"TEN!! TIME TO DIE LOIS!!"

Just has Stewie was bringing out is ray gun, the microwave dinged and Lois went and took out Stewie's dinner, "Alright here's your food Stewie," She lovingly placed the tray on his high chair table.

"Well that's much better... You know better than to make me wait like that Lois, yes next time I won't be so forgiving..." He proceeded to chow down on his dinner.

"I got a print out right here, Brian." Peter handed Brian a flyer depicting, Mickey Mouse holding two large glasses of beer in front of spaceship earth at Epcot.

"Peter, I didn't know you could use the printer?" Lois asked in a surprised manner.

"Yeah… It's not too hard Lois," If something associated with alcohol Peter had the tendency to instantly become smart and knowledgeable.

Brian put on his reading glasses and proceeded to read the flyer, "Huh… Alcohol Appreciation Week, dozens of sprits from all around the world, German beers, Japanese Sakes, Jamaican Rums, Russian vodkas. Free all this week at the world showcase… Hmm… Well Peter I guess Disney World is the happiest place of earth after all… All right I'll go."

"SWEET! Man heh heh heh we are gonna get so wasted!"

"Peter! We are not going on this trip so you can get wasted! This is a family trip!"

"Aw Lois, don't ruin my happiness like that."

"You are NOT going to the World showcase to get sloshed, and that's final!... We'll go together when we visit Epcot."

Peter glared at Lois, before leaning over to whisper something into Brian's ear.

"Ignore the Lois… well just sneak out over there when she's not looking heh heh heh!"

"Peter, not the horse suit again, Brian said with a sigh."

"No, not that… I have another plan... I plan so smart it couldn't possibly… fail…"

"If you say so Peter," Brian declared.

Brian was still confused about one thing though, "Peter, one thing I can't get, why would Disney world have an alcohol appreciation week?... It specifically caters toward families and young children."

"Brian, if you haven't noticed Disney's been catering more to adults recently," Peter answered," remember that Donald Duck sex tape?"

Flashback---

A pitch black bedroom

"Donald Duck is gettin it on!!! with another female Disney character."

Donald Duck – "WAAAAAAAAGH!"

Female Disney Character – "Ohh… you're a bad quacker..."

Donald Duck – "Damn wight I am. WaaaaaGGGHHH!!!"

Female Disney Character – "Ohh ohh OHH!!! OH! DONALD!!!"

Donald Duck – "WAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!"

Suddenly, the lights turn on revealing Donald and Minnie Mouse under the sheets of Mickey's mousse bed in Mickey mouse's bedroom. Mickey mouse stands dumbfounded in the doorway.

Mickey Mouse – (Shocked) "Minnie? Donald? What are you doing in my bedroom."

Minnie Mouse – "Mickey, Please I can explain!!!"

Mickey Mouse – "Oh hoh that okay Minnie, I'm not mad… In fact this makes us even now."

Minnie Mouse – "Even?..."

Mickey Mouse – "Yeah, I've been cheating on you with Daisy for years now."

Minnie mouse has a shocked look on her face.

Anyhow, I don't want to disturb you too, Oh I'll put Pluto out so you two can complete peace and privacy. Oh hoh have you two."

Mickey walks out and closes the door.

Donald Duck – "Wow wat was wierd!"

Minnie Mouse – "Yeah…"

(Short pause)

Donald Duck – "Weady for wound two my big eared weauty?"

Minnie Mouse – "Oh… you betcha!!"

Minnie jump on Donald and the light one again go out.

Minnie Mouse – "Ohh! OHH! OHHH!!"

Donald Duck – "WWAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!

---

The Griffin's Kitchen

Unfortunately for Stewie he had been watching this incredibly gross and disturbing flashback. He immediately stops eating.

"Ahh ok that's gonna haunt me in my nightmares," Stewie commented.

"Yeah, that was really gross and wrong," Brian added… "Wait a minute I just thought of something… Lois how many tickets where there again?"

"Um five I believe," Lois answered.

"Uh, Well that's it… It can't go."

"WHAT WHY?!" Peter exclaimed.

"Well Peter there's not enough ticket for all of us."

"What do you mean?" Peter declared.

"There are six members in this family everyone can't go."

"That's no problem Brian, all we have to do is leave someone home."

"Wow… Peter, that is really low," Brian retorted.

"True, but you do want free booze right?"

"Yeah."

"Alright it's decided, now who do we leave? Lois who do you think?"

Now Lois had been quietly listening in to Peter and Brian's conversation as she was cleaning up the kitchen and she was disgusted by it! "Peter this is sickening!… I can't believe you are even suggesting leaving some one at home!"

"It's necessity Lois, Brian wants to go now."

"Well If I had to choose it'd have to me Meg," Lois stated.

"Yes It would be nice to have a holiday away from frumpy," Stewie exclaimed.

"Same here… Meg," Peter replied, "Brian?"

"Brian sighed, "Man I hate myself for doing this… um… Meg…"

"Alright it's official Meg's not going."

"So dog… how does it feel to like to be a total douche?" Stewie abrasively taunted.

"Why do I need to tell you… you're an expert at it," Brain snapped back.

Stewie didn't say word, is piercing glare at Brian spoke volumes.

"You know you two, somebody going to have to tell her, and it is not going to be me!" Brian harshly informed Lois and Peter.

"Oh crap yeah I didn't think about that," Peter mumbled.

Brian grabbed his paper and prepared to walk into the living room and wallow in his guilt, "Well have fun you two," Brian mocked, "This will be a bigger disaster than when Rosanne Barr sailed on the Queen Mary 2."

An ocean liner dock in New York

The Queen Mary 2 is preparing for a routine crossing of the Atlantic to Southampton, England.

The Queen Mary 2's Bridge

The first officer walks over to the captain.

First Officer – "The Barr woman is coming aboard sir."

Captain – (Horrified) "My God… DRAIN ALL BALLAST ON THE PORT SIDE!"

First Officer – "Yes sir."

The Queen Mary 2's dock

An extremely! obese Roseanne Barr boards the Queen Mary 2 on her port side; the massive vessel immediately lists severely to port.

The Queen Mary's 2 Bridge

The bridge is now at a massive list to port, and captain is yelling to the bridge's telephone.

Captain – "REGAIN STABILITY! MOVE IT TO THE CENTER!

The Queen Mary 2's dock

The QM2 starts to recover from the dangerous list to the right.

The Queen Mary's 2 Bridge

The captain is regaining is composure after the dangerous boarding of Roseanne Barr.

Captain – "Well I'm glad that agenda is over with."

The ships phone goes off. The captain goes and picks it up.

Captain – "Yes?... WHAT!! SHE'S HEADED TO THE GALLEY ON THE STARBOARD SIDE!! YOU MUST STOP HER AT ALL COSTS!!"

The bridge deck begins to list.

The Queen Mary 2's Dock

The Queen Mary 2 continues to list to port,

[Dramatic music begins to play - "Hard A Starboard" from the Titanic 1997 soundtrack]

The Queen Mary 2's Bridge

The captain is yelling to the ship's telephone as the list goes past the point-of-no-return!

Captain – "REGAIN BALLAST CONTROL, DRAIN THE TANKS ON THE STARBOARD SIDE, DRAIN THE TANKS ON THE STARBOARD AHHHH!!!"

The Captain falls and sides down the bridge deck toward the starboard side.

The Queen Mary 2's Dock

The Queen Mary 2 commences capsizing, (Poseidon 2006 - Style)

The entire starboard side submerges underwater.

The Queen Mary 2's Bridge

Water bursts through the bridge windows as the ship capsizes

Captain – "AHHHHH!!"

First Officer – "AAAHHHHH!!"

The Queen Mary 2's Dock

The water washes over the QM2's Cunard line colored funnel and a washes the ships sundeck.

The words "Queen Mary 2 Southampton" on her stern submerge underwater as the massive liner completely capsizes.

Soon her massive rust red bottom is above the water, her four propeller pods completely out of the water.

Two workers on the dock watch the whole disaster.

Worker #1 "See… this is why they don't allow cows on ocean liners…"

---

End of Chap 4