A/N- Someone suggested E POV and I'm glad they did, cause it was so fun to write. Enjoy and please review, suggestions welcome! Also if you want me to keep going let me know! Thanks.
Edward's POV:
I hung up my cell phone and put my head in my hands. My Nessie went from being practically engaged to a dog to being engaged to some sort of witch man. This was too much. I wanted to kill all of the boys who kept stealing her heart...maybe I would.
Everyone was looking at me, silent (except for Jasper who was still chanting about meeting the witch man).
"Alright, we're leaving for the air port in twenty minutes. If you are not ready I will leave without you," I said.
Instantly I heard everyone's thoughts go to what they would wear.
Bella and Rosalie exchanged winks, they were going to wear their best friend t-shirts. The others still weren't sure.
I ran back to our cottage to find a simple collard shirt. Something that would say, Curse you witch man, my family's expensive, classy taste is above you, you don't have a chance!
I went to the gigantic closet Alice put together for Bella and I.
Dammit! I thought, laundry day.
My closet was empty nothing. I went back into the bedroom and searched through my Breaking Dawn hate mail drawer, I thought I'd gotten a package with a t-shirt in it. I found it and quickly pulled it on without looking at it. The faster I got ready, the less likely any of them would be able to come, and the more likely no one would try to stop me when I tore the witch man limb from limb...
I made it into the living room and was disapointed to find everyone was dressed and ready. Our clothes weren't going to touch the statement I'd wanted them to make. Alice's thoughts were in the same direction.
Rosalie's shirt read:
I hate Bella
I know I'm stella
But she made me an aunty
So I won't freeze her panties
Bella' shirt read:
Alice ditched me
Even though Rose is a B/tch to me
I love her more
BFFs 4 sure.
Jasper was wearing his Lumos Maxima t-shirt
Emmet shirt read:
Eddie and Bellie
Sittin' in a tree
Making whoo-oo-oo-oo-oopi!
(and demonic hybrids)
Carlisle's had a picture of dice on it and said "I'm betting on Alice."
Jacob was still sobbing, his shirt read They fight; Paris falls. from Romeo and Juliet.
This was going to be hell.
I ran to the car, maybe they hadn't seen me yet. I was in the front seat about to pull out when I noticed they'd all snuck in the car behind me. The car seated eight, I wondered where Jacob had gotten to.
As I sped down the drive way I could hear yelling and troubled thoughts. I laughed. Jacob was holding onto the roof of the car.
We made it into the terminal fast, getting past security easily. It was only then that someone finally noticed my shirt.
Alice was staring at it shaking her head, you're just as bad as the rest of them, she thought.
I looked down at my shirt. For the love of Acid Pops, my shirt was the worst by far, in pink it said:
Jacob, Imprint on Me Anytime!
Emmett noticed, "Hey little Jakie poo, don't worry about losing Nessie, Edward will have you!"
Everyone pointed and laughed and threw rocks. Except for Jake who kept sobbing and Jasper who was running around in circles chanting, "I get to meet Albus Severus Potter!"
"Emmett...Jake," I added hesitantly, "come here for a moment." When they were close, as quietly as I could I said, "Look as intimidating as you possibly can. Don't smile, and flex your muscles a lot. We'll get this little witch man to pee his pants and away no problem. Will you help me?"
witch man? Emmett thought, seriously Edward, witch man?
"Will you help?" I demanded. Jacob had already nodded. I hadn't wanted to team up with him but I knew he'd be willing, maybe even deadly. If he killed him, the witch man would be dead and Nessie would never forgive Jacob and we'd all live happily ever after.
"I'm in," Emmett finally agreed.
I sighed. Their plane was landing. As they came up the tunnel my tunnel my super sweet hearing picked up their voices.
"Is there anything else I should know?" The witch man asked.
"Well," my beautiful Nessie hesitated, "my dad can read your mind."
"Fricken Voldie Boxers! I'm dead, I'm so dead."
I had frogotten I could read minds, darn it I'd missed valuable time, I could have read his thoughts.
I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die. OME, can he hear me right now? I don't want to give him any ideas...oh that felt good, the way Nessie touched my back, it makes me want to –
He was dead.
Alice grabbed me by the arm, one of her visions had revealed the results of my unformulated plan. Edward, you are not going to kill that boy and you are not going to do it by shoving his wand up his –
I nodded. The vampires and our faithful mutt stood anxiously as we heard them approaching the doors.
Nessie ran into her mothers arms where she was hugged by Alice, Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie.
Emmett, Jacob, and I stood in a row glaring at the witch man with our arms crossed. He was short. He was scared. All he could do was stand there looking at us without Nessie next to him to hold his hand.
Jasper was still chanting when he realized that Albus Severus Potter himself was standing there.
He ran right up to him and then froze. His thoughts were jumbled and incoherent.
He held out his hand in greeting. The witch man extended his hand which Jasper took in both of his.
Slowly, calmly, quietly, Jasper said, "Albus Severus Potter, I am your biggest fan."
The witch man's forehead crinkled, "Thank you?"
Jasper leaned in and kissed each of his cheeks. Magical blood smells spicy, he noted. Indeed it did. Maybe I'd sample it.
Everyone's attention shifted to where Nessie and Jake stood. She had finally noticed him sobbing.
"Jake," she whispered, "this will all work out I promise. You see I sort of imprinted on Albus Severus, it wasn't a conscious choice. We'll work this out, even if we have to make it at threesome."
The witch man's head turned very, very, dirty. I did not want to see him doing that with Jacob for and I definetly did not want to picture them doing that with my daughter.
Yes, this was definetly hell. And why the in Merlin's most baggiest underpants did Bella look so happy? I want to fricken read her mind!
A/N- REVIEW PLEASE! Any suggestions are welcome!
