AN: Thank you Stefaniieh, debbie-lou and (thanks for the lyrics!) for your song suggestions. You'll know when I'll use the songs. :)
Chapter 4: Death will Never Conquer
December 1, 2008
If sweet death
Should ever conquer me
Let me know
Boys, let me know
Clang, clang clang!
It's six already? My brow furrowed as the deafening sound rang on as I covered my sensitive ears. I was broken off from a sudden flash of hazy memory. I was fairly surprised that I was able to unearth that memory that went days before my hundred years of night.
It was a memory of three days before my twilight. I wasn't afraid of death? I sighed. Of course I wasn't.
I was not a monster that time.
But right now, no matter how good my adoptive father sees me, I am nothing but a monster. Through all the sins that I have done I don't think I'm that brave of death right now.
Who was that I dreamt of? I was again surprised that I was able to recall a dream. A dream… I have forgotten what it was like for I haven't been sleeping for quite some time.
That blurry haze of white and mahogany haunted me all day but I knew of no one who bore that profile.
I shook all thoughts away then proceeded to park my car. I was going to fetch Carlisle today as Rosalie was working on his Mercedes.
As I stepped out of the car, I was suddenly taken aback as I heard chimes. Of course there were dozens of chimes that hung all around different rooms of the hospital. The chimes I heard had a distinct sound.
If you hear him coming
Won't you let me flee
Let me go, boys, let me go
They were… lighter than… air? Yet they sounded richer than golden chimes… They jingled in steady rhythm unlike the erratic spontaneous ringing of the other chimes. Wait. They weren't chimes… they sounded more like tiny bells. Listening closely, I heard that the bells slapped into something soft as they rang… it was like they were tied to mobile appendages… with… velvet.
As I walked inside the hospital, I heard it louder and at once I felt a shiver. I never shiver. The shiver I felt was unusual like it bore a rise of familiarity yet it bore something that was more dominant – a warning.
I suddenly felt the same ominous feel that I felt from the memory. I felt death in the air. Right now I was very reluctant to think of death because of my immortality. I knew I have lost my soul years ago. Yet if I did have a soul as Carlisle believed it to be, I knew I lost my chance at heaven. A small part thought that I have repented long enough yet still… I was a monster… I was death itself when you think about it.
One day
Death is gonna conquer me
I'll be down
Where the waters flow
I hope sweet Heaven
Is a place for me
Let me know
Boys, let me know
Hesitating, I followed the sound of those bells. I tuned out all the thoughts and did my best to ignore the stares I had grown accustomed to. As the sound drew closer, the ominous feeling grew more intense.
If sweet death
Should ever conquer me
Take me down
To some place below
If you hear him coming
Won't you set me free
Let me go
Boys, let me go
I took a moment to scan the hospital. It really did have a gloomy atmosphere and many were torn from asking for death to end their suffering or feel fear from ceasing to exist. The cold was getting to the people.
If you hear him comin'
Won't you say for me
That I just
Don't want to go
I continued walking and thought that I fought the same battle. Yet right now the victor was fear.
Wait.
I stopped abruptly as I heard a tiny voice from the sea of thoughts. I tuned everything out and saw that it came from a mind of a dying girl.
I found the girl's room at once and saw that the room was empty apart from her. Carlisle mentioned this girl and said that she was going to go soon. The girl was barely six and her parents were in anguish as they held each other while talking to Carlisle.
Her eyes were shut tight. But what drew me to her was what she thought awhile ago. I hid outside and continued to peek as my eyes grew wide when she spoke out what she thought.
"I heard you coming. Your bells gave you away."
Who was she talking to? There was no one in the room.
From her mind I heard a sound a thousand times lovelier than the bells.
"Yes. Those were my bells," the voice said and I looked again but I couldn't see who she was talking to – who that voice belonged to. This wasn't possible!
"You've come for me." the little girl stated. It wasn't a question.
"Yes." the voice in her mind said.
The girl was dying…could this possibly be…I shook my head. Impossible.
"Take me then." The girl said bravely. She wasn't afraid of death? I suppose it wasn't hard to believe because she had been waiting for a long time to end her suffering. I could see from her thoughts that she was good. She had no reason to be afraid of death. She was going to heaven.
"Open your eyes," the voice commanded softly.
And I gaped at what I saw at the exact same time as the girl's eyes fluttered open. My mouth hung and my eyes bulged as my breath caught. I froze.
From the girl's eyes I saw…
I saw a deity who looked physically like that of a seventeen year old. She had long dark brown hair that was braided at the end as it kissed the floor in its length. Her dark locks were slightly disheveled as there were loose strands that fell on her face and shoulder. Her skin was pale – I believe, even paler than mine! And it stood out completely from her black with bluish undertone dress that was draped around her body.
Her face was so beautiful. She had a heart shaped face with defined cheek bones and full lips. She looked beautiful even though no color painted her face which held an emotionless mask. Her eyes, unblinking held the knowledge of time and sharp intensity. They were swimming in emotions carefully hidden behind the brown. Her mouth remained closed in a tight line.
But what would really catch your eyes were her ebony wings. The wings that came from her back were so dark and blacker than night, blacker than soot, blacker than my kind's eyes when we thirst.
As she walked forward, I could hear bells once more and I found that there were tiny black bells that were tied in black velvet ropes around her ankles.
I knew that she could be no other than Death herself.
I saw one more thing that stood out from the black. A glint of silver – half hidden on one of the velvet ropes on her right ankle was a silver cuff – a shackle.
She was bound.
I stood frozen as I knew that I was about to witness Death take a life. Yet why was there familiarity?
Then suddenly a white shadow apparition crossed my mind from memories past and I gasped.
The moment that gasp escaped my lips, the black figure turned her head sharply at me then I saw the same shock spread on her face.
I knew her.
"You could see me?" she asked obviously rhetorical. As soon as she said that she began to materialize standing near the foot of the bed. I could see her now – not only in the mind of the girl but for real.
I remained as stoic as a statue.
The silence was broken when we heard a flat line. The little girl was dead. Death's eyes flickered momentarily to the little girl then touched her heart then she looked back at me.
"You can see me…" she said slowly. I couldn't move.
Never taking her eyes off of me, she took a step back towards the window.
Gathering all the will power I had, I willed myself to move a step forward towards her.
She took another step back.
"You shouldn't have seen me, Edward," she said and I felt a sudden delight when she said my name.
I took another step towards her as she poised to leave.
"Wait!" I shouted but in a blink she was gone leaving a sole black feather on the floor, her bells tinkling after her.
I bent down to pick up the feather and I felt a whiff of her scent on it.
Without a second thought, I leapt out the window as fast as I could to go undetected and followed her scent.
She was the one I dreamt about.
I didn't know why but I felt deep in myself that I had waited for this moment – waited for her.
I didn't know death could conquer me a different way.
If sweet death
Should ever conquer me
Let me know
Boys, let me know
AN: Yes, Edward finally saw Bella. I wonder how that would turn out. Stick around to find out. So what do you guys think? Are you excited? It would be awesome if we could reach 55 reviews but if not, you're still be awesome. Oh and I'll update "Silence the Loudest Sound" very soon. Parachutes is easier to update because its shorter while Silence demands really long chapters so its harder. Thanks again!
Oh right, if you're into anime like Prince of Tennis and Deathnote, check out Lady-von-Strife whose reading this story as well. Thanks!
I've also updated my long overdue Draco & Hermione fan fiction, "Saving the Gashlycrumb Tinies" which has dark themes and lots and lots of death and murder. Nyuk Nyuk. Just in case you're interested. It's based on Edward ( I know! ) Gorey's illustrated children's book "The Gashlycrumb Tinies" which is really eerie and morbid just the way I like it. :)
Margaux
