How to Be Your Dragon
Chapter Four: The Magic of Panic
Note: I do not own How to Train Your Dragon nor any related copyrights such as Hiccup, Toothless, Berk, Astrid, and other such related characters and places.
The early morning arrived at Berk, soft orange rays glancing through the frosty air and into the sturdy homes of the resident Vikings. Some rose to work, setting out on fishing expeditions and to care for early-rising dragons. Some simply went on a stroll to enjoy the morning air, a luxury once unaffordable to battle-torn Vikings.
Four were sneaking to Gobber the Belch's residence with the subtlety of a rampaging Nadder.
"Are you sure we should do this?"
"Come on Gronkle-breath, scared?"
"Yeah, chicken?"
"Bwak, bwak?"
"What's that supposed to be?"
"A chicken, ox-brain."
"All of you, quiet!"
FOUR rampaging Nadders.
Snotlout, Fishlegs, Tuffnut, and Ruffnut all dived to the side of Gobber's house, sneaking in a way that a Night Fury wouldn't. Snotlout gave an "all clear signal" as the other three Vikings filed in, the twins carrying a ladder and Fishlegs nervously holding a bucket of ice water. The troublemaking Vikings slowly crept into the silent house, past the door where a loudly-snoring Gobber was yet to awake, and arrived at the hastily-arranged, "guest room" for Berk's newest arrival.
"All right," Snotlout whispered to the other three as they set up the ladder next to the door, "It's simple: We put the ladder up to the door, we place the bucket on top, and when the wizard comes out…" He mimed a punch to the face, "BAM! We get wizard on ice."
"I don't know if we should do this, Snotlout." Fishlegs nervously said, locked legs knocking. "I mean, he's a WIZARD."
"What'll he do," Snotlout sneered, "Straighten the horns on our helmet?"
"I read stories where people mess with wizards. They end pretty badly for those who mess with them." Fishlegs whispered, "They have their head taken off and put on backwards, they're turned into toads, their stomachs are pulled out through their throats."
"Listen, the last thing I want to think about is Ruffnut's stomach being pulled out." Tuffnut said, nearly gagging at the thought, "It's disgusting enough as it is… OW!" He screamed as his sister smacked him over the head with the back of her hand.
"Quiet!" Snotlout said, hushing the twins who were on the verge of a full-on brawl. "Give me that." He grabbed the bucket of water out of Fishlegs' hands and proceeded to climb the ladder while the twins steadied it.
"Um, I think he's awake." Fishlegs whispered, putting his ear up to the door.
"Um, I think you should shut up." Snotlout replied, steadying the bucket on top of the door.
"No seriously, I think I hear him moving." Fishlegs backed away from the door, his whispers becoming more urgent.
"What did I tell you about shwoOOAAHH!"
Suddenly, the door swung open, revealing a very frightened looking Merlin. This lead to the ladder being knocked to the side, scattering the twins. Snotlout staggered on top of the ladder a few moments, trying to regain his balance, but soon fell to the floor, the prank bucket landing over his head. At the sound of chaos, Gobber awoke and threw open the door, his "hand-axe" ready.
"Oh, Mornin'." He said to the panicked wizard, cowering Fishlegs, sprawled Tuffnut and Ruffnut, and soaked and shivering Snotlout.
Merlin looked around the room, completely ignoring the anarchy that had just occurred. "You!" He yelled as he reached for and seized Fishlegs' shirt.
"Please don't pull out my stomach!" Fishlegs screamed.
"Why would I do that?" Merlin asked, puzzled and breathless. "Look, is anything strange happening, anything out of the ordinary?"
"Uhhhh…" Fishlegs stammered, fearfully watching the crazy wizard.
"You know, inexplicable storms, flames of an unusual color, things moving that aren't supposed to…"
"The dead rising from their graves?" Fishlegs offered.
The wizard paled, his face a mask of fear, and asked, "Are they?"
"No…" Snotlout finally said, pulling the bucket off of his head.
"Should they?" Tuffnut asked from the floor.
Merlin looked around at the small group of Vikings before him, now even more scared and confused than after the prophecy. "No!" He called out suddenly, abruptly changing to a happy tone. "Why should they? That's not normal, unless it is normal for…uh…here. Is it? No…"
Laughing nervously, he backed to the front door where he collided into a towering figure that blocked his exit. Slowly turning, Merlin found himself at the feet of Stoic the Vast.
"Pardon me." He said, trying to walk around the wizard. Looking up, the chief surveyed the scene. "What happened here?"
There was a brief silence. "Nothing?" Snotlout finally answered.
"Good." Stoic said, putting the matter out of his head. He turned to the blacksmith and his best friend, Gobber, "Gobber, have you seen Hiccup? He didn't come back last night. Plus the Hoffersons are asking around for Astrid."
"Ah, teenagers." Gobber said reminiscing, "to be that young without a care in the world. Don't worry about them Stoic; knowing them, they're probably in the forest somewhere with Toothless…"
"The forest?" Merlin asked, causing all of the Vikings to turn to him. "The forest where… they always go to the forest?"
"Yes." Stoic asked, suspiciously. Crossing his arms, he drew himself up and inquired, "What do you know about this?"
"Me? Nothing… no… nothing at all thankfully." Melrin raised his hands defensively as the Vikings started to surround him. Backing up to the door, he continued to laugh nervously, "Not that I'm thankful, them being gone, because… them being gone is… bad… but not that bad. No… uh… what I mean is… um… it… um… BY THE GODS, WHAT'S THAT?"
While the rest of the Vikings turned and faced the blank patch of wall Merlin pointed to, Stoic continued to glare at the wizard as he ran out of the door.
…
Laboring furiously to get air into his lungs, Merlin dashed through the forest in the early stretches of dawn. Most Vikings would have found such an excursion pleasant. Merlin was not a Viking. He was a wizard, specifically one who spent most of his time reading.
So no, he did not find it pleasant.
After his mad rush of energy had left him, Merlin finally gave into his aching body and slumped into a walk. This lasted all of five seconds before he simply stopped, his hands resting on his knees.
Breathing heavily, Merlin gasped, "Merlin, that was a bad idea, even worse than the charm to keep the city clean." Finally, the wizard regained his breath and returned to walking through the forest. Resuming the conversation he had begun with himself, Merlin said, "Look at yourself: you're on an island full of warrior Vikings AND dragons, you've lost the stone your master gave you, you've found out that this may or may not have lead to… something happening to two Viking children, and now you're lost in the woods. Still, can things…"
Merlin stopped, shaking his head, "No; do not say that. Remember what happened last time you said that? That's right, the giant soap bubble monster." Merlin sighed and continued his trek. "Okay Merlin, focus. You grabbed your wand at least." He held up the small, hastily made wand. "Rule number one: never go anywhere without your wand." Suddenly lost in his thoughts, Merlin muttered, "Rule number two: never let your wand get broken. Already failed that one…" The wizard shook his head, "Focus Merlin. Okay, assuming that you dropped the stone when the dragon attacked you, that would mean it's at the valley… thing. And if the village was that way…"
Looking up to gain his bearings, he found a dark figure lying under a large oak tree. "A dragon…?" The wizard whispered, approaching the large shape. The shape snored and turned on its side. Sleeping under the tree was a slumbering Night Fury.
"Ah, Hiccup's dragon." Merlin muttered to himself. "Maybe he can help. But do I dare wake a dragon to look for the stone…?" Weighing his options, Merlin walked towards the sleeping monster and called out, "Hello? Toothless… was it?"
The monster snorted, its head groggily rising from the ground. Grumbling, the dragon said, "Mrr… Toothless…?"
Merlin stopped mid-stride, all of the energy gone from his body. "OOoooohhh… Not Toothless…"
The dragon shook its head and blinked several times. Grumbling, it resumed talking to itself (herself if its voice was to be trusted) "Did I sleep all night? Odin, what came over me…?"
Merlin, still frozen solid, asked, "Uh… Astrid? Is that… you?"
Astrid gazed directly at the wizard through sleep-heavy eyes. "Yeah… Wait, what are you doing here? And why do I feel…?" Astrid raised a hand to her face. She stopped, suddenly awake, as a black paw was waved in front of her face.
"What?" She asked, her surprise mounting. She waved her hand; the paw waved back. Astrid gasped and leapt to her feet, or tried to and stumbled onto all fours. Turning and examining her new draconic form, Astrid took in, with mounting shock, her new Night Fury body. "What hap…? I'm… I'm a dragon? A Night Fury?"
"Apparently." Merlin finally risked. Astrid turned her attention back to the still wizard. "Um… well… It would seem… Um… okay, we can come up with a very good explanation as long as we all remain…"
Merlin was unable to continue, for an angry, heavy, Viking-turned-Night Fury had just leapt on top of him, tackling him to the ground. As Merlin tried to push himself up, Astrid slammed a paw onto his chest and growled menacingly.
"Please don't kill me." Was all the wizard was able to choke out.
"All right." Astrid said, her voice the epitome of insincere politeness. "Why don't you tell me what you did to me?"
The wizard choked under the weight of the Night Fury. "Can't… breathe…"
"WELL?" Astrid barked, dropping the nice demeanor.
Gasping for breath, Merlin wheezed, "Not my fault… the stone… the stone!"
Her ears pricking up, Astrid pulled her front paw off of the wizard's chest. Gasping for breath, Merlin staggered to his feet, his hands clutching his chest. "Oh… wow you're heavy… Not in a bad way!" He corrected himself, but Astrid's mind was elsewhere. "It's just that… Look, okay, there's this stone I have: blue, covered in runes, about the size of… you know, you probably know what it looks like by…"
"Hiccup."
"What about Hic… wait… Wait! Where are you going!" Merlin cried as Astrid suddenly turned around and proceeded to leap into the forest.
Reaching blindly, Merlin tried to stop the powerful dragon, but his hands caught nothing but air. Finally, at the last minute, Merlin grabbed Astrid's tail, but the man who couldn't survive a jog in the woods was only able to watch as he was dragged off of his feet and into the forest.
Holding on for dear life, the wizard found himself being pulled through shrubbery, trees, and even into stones. He thought he could hear some tortured being screech, but it could have just been a concussion he was developing; both were rational reasons. The world swirled around him as if he were being pulled by a large black tornado. His mind buzzed and reeled, suffering from being whipped around and through obstacles.
Finally, the dragon stopped. To Merlin, the ride just stopped moving forward; the spinning and lurching of the merciless universe continued. Voices echoed both in and out of his head. Finally, his travels briefly resumed, and the dirty, bruised, and confused wizard found himself now looking down a precipitous cliff. At the bottom, four spinning dragons looked back up at him.
He began what was likely in his head a well-ordered argument of why he shouldn't be punished. What came out of his mouth was more likely a garbled stream of syllables and noises. Finally shaking his head, the world settled. He looked down again into the valley beneath him and saw (thankfully) two very confused Night Furies.
Taking a deep, settling breath, he said the only thing he could think of at the moment:
"Please don't kill me…"
