An Orderly Chaos
Chapter Four: Hamish meets a Hatter
Author's Note: As per request, I am devoting this chapter to Tarrant's meeting with Hamish.
Hamish goggled in shock at the strange…person that had come to stand next to Alice. He had never seen a more eccentric looking gentleman. He had pale, pasty white skin, red-tipped fingers; and-Hamish had to blink to make sure he was seeing things correctly-bushy, electric orange hair. His eyes were large, green, and slightly unfocused in a way that made Hamish feel distinctly uncomfortable.
But the worst was his clothing. He was dressed in a bright purple suit, polka dot tie, and had a sash that appeared to be made up of spools of thread. The whole ensemble was an insult to the eyes of respectable gentlemen everywhere.
Hamish sniffed in disdain at the strange man, speaking in his most haughty tone. "Lord Hamish Ascot."
Tarrant gave him his hugest smile and wrung his hand enthusiastically. "Tarrant Hightopp! I'm so pleased to meet you at last! Alice has told me all about you! We must have tea sometime! Do you like scones? What about cakes, pies, puddings, tea, breads, sandwiches, do you take milk in your tea? Honey? Sugar? Once again I'm so glad to have met you, so glad so happy, so…"
"Tarrant."
Tarrant blushed and looked over at Alice. "Sorry love. I'm fine."
Hamish managed to extract his hand. "Alice, you know this…peasant?"
Tarrant's eyes flashed light orange, and Hamish blinked. Alice glared at him, gently placing her hand on Tarrant's arm. "Calm down, love. Yes, Hamish, I know this man quite well. You see, he happens to be my husband. He's also Royal Hatter to the White Queen."
Hamish sneered at Tarrant. "I always knew Alice was a flighty and irresponsible young woman, but for her to marry someone so obviously beneath her in class is simply mind boggling."
Tarrant growled in rage. "Why ye stuffed shirt, pompous arse!"
Hamish merely smirked in disdain at him. "Alice, I suppose that smaller orange haired creature over there is yours?" He pointed to where Arianna stood with Katarina. "She is as strange and bizarre looking as her father. At least the other child looks fairly normal."
Alice clenched her fists, glaring in rage at Hamish. "How dare you insult my Arianna! At least my child doesn't look like a pig in clothing!"
Hamish smirked. "My Herbert is as fine a boy as you could ever hope to know. He's popular at school, is of a very high class, and is given every indulgence by me and his mother."
Tarrant chuckled darkly. "You mean he's a spoiled brat."
Hamish glared at him. "A peasant such as you should learn to guard his tongue while amongst your betters."
"I'll remember that if I'm ever amongst them."
Hamish glared at Alice in disdain. "Really, Alice, what possessed you to marry this…creature?"
Alice glared at him. "Several reasons, the main one being that I was, am, and always will be madly in love with him. He's kind, smart, gentle, and compassionate, brave, a wonderful father, a terrific husband, a fantastic lover, and mad as a hatter. He has never once spoken down to me or discouraged me. He lets me be who I want and has stayed by my side every step of the way. He has given me a fine, bright, beautiful daughter and a brave, handsome son. He lets me be Alice. That is why I married him. What about you, Hamish? Why did you marry Lady Beatrice? It can't be for love."
"It is none of your business why I married her."
Tarrant grinned madly. "Then it wasn't fer love, was it? I remember every single day why I married my Alice. She has saved my life and sanity more than once, and I'll forever love her for doing that. She lets me be who I am-the Mad Hatter."
Hamish blanched as Tarrant's eyes flashed red. "Ye see, Laird Ascot, I value me wife as more than jest a way of providing me wif 'eirs. I value 'er as 'erself, as a wonderful woman. Perhaps ye should try doing the same wif your Lady wife."
He turned to Alice, grinning. "Do ye think we should take a page out of the Staynes' book and show this stuffed shirt our feelings for each other?"
Alice looked over to where Alannah and Ilosovic stood, their arms wrapped around each other as they kissed. "I believe we should, my love."
Tarrant beamed wickedly and pulled Alice into his arms, kissing her as hard as he could. Alice wrapped her arms around him and kissed back equally as hard, running her fingers through his tangled mop of hair.
Hamish's eyes went wide in shock. "I say! Stop this right now! You are both behaving horribly! Stop it at once!"
Tarrant kissed Alice deeper in answer, and Hamish fumed in rage, stomped over to them, and yanked Alice away from Tarrant. "Alice! How dare you behave so shamefully, and at your mother's own party! What has become of you?"
Alice yanked her arm out of Hamish's grip. "How dare you? ! You have absolutely no say in any aspect of my life!"
Hamish sneered at her. "Oh, haven't I? You forget, Alice that you were once my fiancé!"
Tarrant laughed. "She was hardly your fiancé, Ascot. You proposed to her and she turned you down. That hardly qualifies as having a fiancé."
Hamish glared at him. "I will not remind you again about addressing your betters without their permission."
Tarrant trembled in rage. "Why you…"
Hamish merely smiled. "Yes? Did you have something you wished to say to me, peasant?"
Tarrant gave him a Cheshire Cat smile. "If I have me Lord's permission to speak?"
Hamish nodded airily. "I suppose I could use a bit of amusement. You may speak."
Tarrant's smile faded and he glared at Hamish so piercingly that he took a step back, blanching. "You listen to me, Ascot, because I am only going to say this once. You are not my better. Alice neglected to mention that I am Lord Tarrant Hightopp, Royal Hatter to the White Queen, Mirana of Marmoreal. You see, I don't feel the need to advertise and boast about my position for all to hear. I don't identify myself and my accomplishments strictly by my Title. You, however, seem to think that just because you are of a noble class that gives you the right to insult my daughter, accost my wife, and treat me as a lowly common peasant! Ascot, you are going to find out one of these days that your title, wealth, and accomplishments don't mean a damn thing if you don't have someone to share them with. I've been watching the way you act around your wife and son. Is there any love there? Does your wife take interest in your day; does she talk to you when you're feeling down? Can you tell her things and know that she'll carry them to her grave? Do you spend time together just doing nothing and enjoying each others' company? And what about your son? Do you spend time with him? Did you watch his first steps, hear his first word, and hold him when he cried? Does his face light up when he sees that you've come home? Does he insist on spending time with his father? Do you ever take time out of your schedule to play with him? Do you actually have a family, Ascot?"
Hamish bit his lip, unable to answer, and Tarrant smiled at him in pity and sympathy. "I thought not. You are a truly pitiable man, Lord Hamish Ascot, and I'm sorry for you."
He gently steered Alice away, leaving Hamish alone with his thoughts.
Alice looked over at him, then back to Tarrant. "That was rather harsh, love, but it needed to be said. I think you gave him a lot to think about."
Tarrant smiled. "I certainly hope so."
