Disclaimer: All random lines from the play and characters mentioned belong to the great master of 19th-Century repartée, Oscar Wilde. So please don't sue me as I am but a poor and humble college student.


Dear Diary,

Another boring German lesson in the Garden today, although the weather remains quite pleasant. Mr. Ernest Worthing and I have been secretly engaged for a month now. As you already know, my dearest confidante, worn out by Ernest's entire ignorance of my existence, I determined to end the matter one way or the other, and after a long struggle with myself I accepted him under this dear old tree here. The next day, I bought this little ring in his name and I now wear this little bangle with the true lover's knot. I have vowed to him that it shall never leave my finger. I must say that my darling Ernest has wonderfully good taste. It is indeed the only excuse that I can give him for living such a wickedly bad life.

I write to Ernest three times a week and sometimes oftener. Now Diary, I know what you are thinking. How in heaven's name is it possible for a naïve, young lady such as myself to correspond with a man who is completely ignorant of my entire existence? Well, I need hardly confess to you that I have been forced to write all of Ernest's letters for him.

And as you also know, my dearest Diary, I was forced to break off my engagement with Ernest earlier this week. I felt that it was better to do so. The three letters that he wrote to me after I broke off the engagement are so beautiful and so badly spelled that I can hardly read them without crying a little. You will be absolutely thrilled to know that I have now resolved to accept him with open arms. He is the keeper of my heart and the only man that I could ever love, after all.

Yours fondly,

Cecily Cardew


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