The Only Reset
Chapter 3: Snowdin Forest
"Bravery, Justice, Integrity, Kindness, Patience, and Wisdom, using these, you were able to win at 'Ball Game.'"
I really should've asked Toriel for a jacket before we left. Still, Snowdin is pretty nice to look at.
*(It was also one of my favorite places to play. Azzy and I would have snowball fights here.)
Walking along, I stare up at the trees on the sides of the path.
Wow, those trees are tall, and not just because I'm short again. I wonder if they have leaves. Wait a minute, how do they get sunlight? How are they so close together? There's no way their roots can support them if they're all that close. Also, they are much too thin to stand up that high even with stable roots!
*(Maybe it's magic?)
What possible use would monsters have for making thin trees super close together, really, really tall, and in an environment that can't sustain them?
*(It's magic; we don't have to explain it.)
Yes you do! Magic can explain "how", but not "why"!
My rant is cut short when I trip and land face-first into the snow. I push myself up and look for what I tripped on.
*(It's a tough-looking branch. It's too heavy to pick up.)
It seems I was so wrapped up in the absurdity of these trees that I didn't notice it on the path. I really need to learn to just accept things and move on. Oh well, let's just get to the bridge.
I barely get six feet away when I hear the branch snap.
Oh yeah, Sans wants to mess with me first.
I take a closer look at the pile of twigs that was once a branch.
Geez, he really tore that thing apart.
*(Yeah, it's been smashed like it was nothing…)
Might as well get this over with.
I take a small piece of the branch for later and continue down the path while ignoring the creepy sounds I hear behind me until I reach a bridge with a sad excuse for a gate "blocking" it.
Annnnd now I can't move.
*(Looks like Bonehead is coming.)
A shadowy figure, or at least what I assume is a shadowy figure, approaches me slowly from behind.
"Human"
Sans can be really creepy sometimes. I honestly think he gets a kick out of scaring small children.
"Don't you know how to greet a new pal?"
I feel his grip on my soul loosen. The first time I was in this situation, I was still too horrified to move until he told me to turn around. Now, however…
*(It's time for some payback.)
I turn around and grab not his hand, but his wrist.
*Bzzzt!*
Surprised, he quickly pulls his arm back. I start snickering at him.
"Hehehe, the old toy buzzer in the hand trick. It's ALWAYS funny."
*(He's had that coming for a long time.)
"heh, good one, kiddo."
"Sorry, I didn't mean to shock you."
*(Boo!)
I'm sorry, but I had to say it; it was just too easy to pass up! Besides, Sans would've said it himself if I didn't.
"don't sweat it, kid. nothing rattles these bones."
*(Yeah, you're probably right.)
"anyway, you're a human, right? that's hilarious. i'm sans. sans the skeleton. i'm actually supposed to be on the watch for humans right now."
"Is that so?"
"yeah, but… y'know…"
"You're too lazy to care?"
"pretty much. now my brother, papyrus… he's a human-hunting FANATIC."
Sans looks over my shoulder into the distance.
"hey, actually, i (oddly, this "I" is normally capitalized) think that's him over there."
I turn to look in the same direction, and I see a humanoid shape slowly approaching us.
"i have an idea. go through this gate thingy."
"This is a gate?"
"yeah. my bro made the bars too wide to stop anyone."
As we're crossing the bridge, I can't help but add, "It's not just that, Sans. Gates need to be openable and affixed to a fence or wall of some sort. Does Papyrus think humans are bigger than he is? If he can fit through, then he should know others can as well."
"i bet you're real fun at parties."
"I get that a lot."
*(You're more often called a "trouble-maker" at parties.)
Most of the parties I go to are for diplomats and politicians, and they are so boring! I only tried to add some excitement to the atmosphere.
*(Right, but the "excitement" you added to the atmosphere was in the form of a brown note soundwave.)
Everyone there was full of crap; I just wanted to help them get rid of some of it!
We reach the other side of the bridge, and Sans points to a nearby lamp.
"quick, behind that conveniently shaped lamp."
I decide to pull a Toriel and stand at the side of the lamp he pointed to, but Papyrus still doesn't seem to notice me when he approaches. Maybe he thinks I'm a lamp too?
"sup, bro?"
"YOU KNOW WHAT'S 'SUP,' BROTHER! IT'S BEEN EIGHT DAYS, AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T RECALIBRATED YOUR PUZZLES!"
What would be the point in doing that? Word-search "puzzles" don't need calibration.
"YOU'RE JUST HANGING AROUND OUTSIDE YOUR STATION! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING?!"
"staring at this lamp. it's really cool. do you wanna look?"
As enthusiastic as Papyrus is, he doesn't make a very good sentry. Even when referenced directly to where I am, he doesn't bother looking.
"NO! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT!"
You're a sentry, Papyrus. If it's anything like being a security guard, all you have is time.
"WHAT IF A HUMAN COMES THROUGH HERE?! I WANT TO BE READY!"
And if your traps are meant to actually work, you shouldn't need to be constantly looking. Their whole function is to catch things for you.
*(Besides, when he sees you he just gives you a short speech and runs off. All that does is warn you of the coming traps.)
"I MUST—NO—I WILL CAPTURE A HUMAN! THEN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL GET ALL THE THINGS I UTTERLY DESERVE! RESPECT… RECOGNITION… I WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD! PEOPLE WILL ASK TO BE MY FRIEND! I WILL BATHE IN A SHOWER OF KISSES EVERY MORNING!
"hmm… maybe this lamp can help you."
"SANS! YOU ARE NOT HELPING! YOU LAZYBONES! ALL YOU DO IS SIT AND BOONDOGGLE!"
I wouldn't call "sleeping" an unnecessary or questionable project.
"YOU GET LAZIER AND LAZIER EVERY DAY!"
"hey, take it easy. i've gotten a ton of work done today."
I hate this part.
"a skele-ton."
Papyrus, Chara, and I all groan at the malaprop.
Knowing it was coming didn't make it any less annoying.
"SANS!"
"come on. you're smiling."
"I AM AND I HATE IT! *sigh* WHY DOES SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME HAVE TO DO SO MUCH JUST TO GET SOME RECOGNITION?"
"wow, sounds like you're really working yourself…"
Dammit, Sans…
"down to the bone."
"UGH! I WILL ATTEND TO MY PUZZLES. AS FOR YOUR WORK, PUT A LITTLE MORE "BACKBONE" INTO IT! NYEHEHEHEHEHE HEHEHEHEHEHE!"
Papyrus leaves, but then pokes his head back briefly to add an extra "HEH!" before running off.
"okay, you can come out now."
I come out from behind the lamp and throw the twig I collected earlier at Sans.
*doink* "um, ow? what was that for?"
"Uncreative fake puns."
"wow, I didn't expect you to—"
"PUN-ish you for it—yeah, I know. They might not be as bad if they weren't so predictable."
*(Though to be fair, he has already used all of his on you in another timeline.)
They weren't funny the first time either.
"anyway, that worked out, huh?"
"I suppose."
"you oughta get going. he might come back, and if he does, you'll have to sit through more of my hilarious jokes."
"That would truly be a gruesome fate."
Before I can leave, Sans speaks up at me, "actually, I hate to bother ya, but can you do me a favor?"
"Does this favor involve high explosives and/or industrial machinery?"
*(You already know it doesn't, Frisk.)
I can dream…
"no…"
"Darn. Oh well, what's the favor?"
"well, my brother's been kind of down lately…"
"Maybe that's because of all your bad puns."
Ignoring me, he continues, "he's never seen a human before, and seeing you might just make his day."
"You mean he's never seen one in person?"
"no, he just doesn't know what one looks like."
"How's he expected to find one then?!"
You'd think they'd give him some sort of reference picture of a human so he knows what he's actually looking for. Most of the other monsters I can excuse not knowing, but Papyrus is supposed to be a sentry!
Sans just shrugs and makes an "I don't know" hum.
"*sigh* Fine, as long as it doesn't get us killed."
"don't worry, he's not dangerous, even if he tries to be."
I doubt that; he once beat me into unconsciousness and threw me into a shed. It'd be awkward to bring that up now though…
"If you say so."
"thanks a million. i'll be up ahead."
Sans turns and walks back the way I came.
Sans said he could always "feel" when a LOAD happened. I thought similar would apply to a RESET, but so far he's been acting the same. Then again, we haven't had to LOAD yet, so maybe it's just not as noticeable.
*(Speaking of which, the next SAVE point should be up ahead.)
Right. Let's go.
I continue down the snowy path before me. Up ahead, I see another yellow glowing SAVE star. Touching it, I feel the headache I developed after Sans's "pun" clearing.
*(The convenience of that lamp still fills you with determination, even after all these years.)
I then go down the path toward a fork in the road, but Snowdrake attacks before I reach it.
*(Snowdrake flutters forth!)
ACT→Snowdrake→Check
*(SNOWDRAKE – ATK 12 DEF 7)
*(This teen comedian fights to keep a captive audience.)
"'Ice' to meet you."
I feel my headache coming back from the force of uncreatively. What's worse is that Snowdrake takes this opportunity to attack me with several balls of sleet. They're easy enough to dodge though.
*(Snowdrake is smiling at its own bad joke.)
ACT→Snowdrake→Laugh
"Ah—hah—ha…"
*(You laugh weakly and forcedly at Snowdrake's pun.)
"See!? Laughs! Dad was wrong!"
He sends more slow-moving projectiles at me, but I just move a little to the side to avoid them.
*(Snowdrake is pleased with its "cool" joke.)
Chara, no.
*(You must really "Care-ah" bout monsters if you're going through all this trouble to free them.)
Stop it…
*(There is "snow" way—)
Chara, honey, I love you, but if you keep making puns, I'm going to replace you with one of the other voices in my head. They had some really good ideas too…
*(Fine, I can always find other ways to push your buttons.)
You seem to have a talent for that.
MERCY→Spare
*(YOU WON!)
*(You earned 0 XP and 12 gold.)
Back out of the FIGHT, I watch Snowdrake happily flutter away, likely to share his puns with other unsuspecting victims. Those poor souls…
*(Maybe he'll find Jerry.)
A man can only hope.
*(Thus why it's up to us women to actually do something.)
Like move the furniture around?
*(Shaddup. I could've done it myself.)
But that would be needlessly difficult. It's not just chivalrous; it's only logical that I do it since it's significantly easier for me.
*(You have a remarkable talent for making kindhearted gestures sound like the logic of a cold, calculating machine.)
That's me. Throw me a bone and I'll over examine it until I know why it has tiny fractures.
*(Yeah. It's amazing anyone puts up with you.)
Shaddup.
Not wanting to mess with the fishing rod to the north, I continue to the storage box connected to a pocket dimension and dump all my excess junk inside it.
Okay, let's go make Papyrus's day.
Walking past the box, I see Papyrus talking to Sans a short ways away.
"SO, AS I WAS SAYING ABOUT UNDYNE,"
Papyrus notices me as I approach and turns to look at me. Sans seeing his brother turn makes him look as well, at which point Papyrus looks back at Sans. They then alternate between looking at me and looking back at each other more and more rapidly until they're both spinning in circles. They stop a few moments later, hopefully before they're both dizzy.
"SANS! OH MY GOD! IS THAT… A HUMAN?! AND IT LOOKS SO FAMILIAR!"
My face contorts slightly in discomfort when Papyrus comments on my familiarity.
Hopefully not too familiar. That's a conversation I'd like to avoid having right now.
Sans looks past me towards the rock I'm in front of.
"uhhhh, i think it looks familiar… because it's a rock."
"OH."
"hey, what's that in front of the rock?"
"OH MY GOD!"
Papyrus turns back to Sans and whispers, "(IS THAT A HUMAN?)", to which Sans whispers back, "(yes.)"
"OH MY GOD! SANS! I FINALLY DID IT! UNDYNE WILL… I'M GONNA… I'LL BE SO… POPULAR! POPULAR! POPULAR!"
*(He's nothing if not enthusiastic.)
"…'AHEM' HUMAN! YOU SHALL NOT PASS THIS AREA!"
Too late, Papyrus; I'm well past the bridge of Khazad-dum.
*(Nerd.)
"I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL STOP YOU!"
By doing absolutely nothing as I walk past you.
"I WILL THEN CAPTURE YOU!"
Then throw me in an unlocked shed…
"YOU WILL BE DELIVERED TO THE CAPITAL! THEN… THEN! I'M NOT SURE WHAT'S NEXT…"
We sit down and calmly discuss the ethics of killing innocent civilians out of necessity during wartime while having tea.
"IN ANY CASE, CONTINUE ONLY IF YOU DARE!"
Papyrus turns around and walks away.
"well, that went well. don't sweat it, kid. i'll keep an eye socket out for ya."
A brief flashback of all the times I died in the Underground quickly refutes that statement.
"Sure you will, Sans. It's not like you'd just stand there while an innocent child gets killed by a hostile world full of monsters desperate to tear its soul from its still living body."
I know I probably shouldn't have said that, but it's a bit of a sore spot that Sans was supposed to be watching over me while I had a traumatic experience in the Underground. He's really bad at keeping promises, though he doesn't make many of them to begin with anyway.
"But don't worry about it; I can take care of myself, so you don't have to do anything, and I bet doing nothing is something you both enjoy and excel at."
"it sure is. i'll be up ahead."
Sans walks ahead and disappears around a corner.
I probably shouldn't have snapped at Sans.
*(He did have it coming.)
Yeah, but I accomplished nothing in doing so and may have messed with how things progress after this.
*(That lazy butt… it's amazing you weren't traumatized from everything that happened down here.)
Or by what happened up there… Anyway, that's what we're here to prevent. I need to stay focused on the mission. I can't let my emotions get in the way.
*(Stay determined then.)
Following the path down, I walk by Papyrus's cardboard sentry station. There's something written on the front of it I didn't notice before. I go to take a closer look.
* (There's some narration on this cardboard box.)
*YOU OBSERVE THE WELL-CRAFTED SENTRY STATION. WHO COULD HAVE BUILT THIS, YOU PONDER? I BET IT WAS THAT VERY FAMOUS ROYAL GUARDSMAN, PAPYRUS!
(NOTE: NOT YET A VERY FAMOUS ROYAL GUARDSMAN.)
*(Isn't it kind of unfair that Papyrus only has a cardboard box for a sentry post? Why'd he have to build his own?)
He probably insisted on building it himself. Besides, it's not like he'd ever actually use it. He's not the kind of guy to stand around in a single spot all day like a normal sentry would.
*(Fair enough.)
When I turn back towards the path, an ice cap monster appears.
*(Icecap struts into view.)
ACT→Ice Cap→Check
*(ICE CAP – ATK 11 DEF 4)
*(This teen wonders why it isn't named 'Ice Hat.)
"I just looove my hat, okay?"
Ice Cap shoots magical bolts in the shape of his hat at me. They're easy to dodge at first, but I had forgotten that they double back after flying past me, and one hits me in the back.
*(You forgot how its attack works?)
Give me a break; it's been ten years!
*(You can quote, line-for-line, the entire script of a movie you saw eight years ago.)
That's only because I've seen it so many times. I only ran into one or two icecaps before I reached Snowdin the first time.
*(Three, actually.)
Whatever.
*(Ice Cap is thinking about a certain article of clothing.)
Gloves, I bet.
ACT→Ice Cap→Ignore
*(You manage to tear your eyes away from Ice Cap's hat. It looks annoyed.)
"HELLO? My hat's up here."
This time I'm able to avoid its attacks properly.
*(Ice Cap is secretly checking if you're looking at its hat.)
ACT→Ice Cap→Ignore
*(You continue not looking at Ice Cap's hat. It seems defeated…)
"Fine! I don't care!"
At this, ice cap attacks with a wall of ice that has a waving space in the middle. Standing in just the right spot, I don't even need to move as it passes by me.
*(Ice Cap looks desperate for attention.)
MERCY→Spare
*(YOU WON!)
*(You earned 0 XP and 6 gold.)
After the ice cap leaves, I continue down the path towards Doggo's sentry station. There's a sign on the path a few feet away from the station.
*Absolutely NO MOVING!
Why is this sign on this side of the sentry post? Also, wouldn't they want people to move so the sentry can see them?
*(Maybe he's trained to attack anything he sees?)
Then why isn't the sign on the other side? People coming from town would need to walk by his station before seeing the sign. Also, how did Papyrus get past him? Come to think of it, how does Papyrus get along with any of the dogs? He's made of bones! I'm surprised he's not currently buried in a dozen different holes all around the forest.
"Did something move? Was it my imagination? I can only see moving things."
'I am the miniboss! I loudly state my weaknesses!'
"If something—for example, a human—was moving, I'll make sure it never moves again!"
Oh no! He's going to paralyze me!
*(He'd better not; there are parts of you I still plan on using.)
And I still need to free an entire race of people from imprisonment.
*(Sure, that too.)
Doggo moves out from his sentry post and stands on the path in front of me, thus blocking my way forward. The FIGHT starts.
*(Doggo blocks the way!)
ACT→Doggo→Check
*(DOGGO – ATK 13 DEF 7)
*(Easily excited by movement. Hobbies include: squirrels.)
There aren't any squirrels in the Underground.
*(He likes chasing them after he gets above ground.)
"Don't move an inch!"
Doggo's blue attack moves right through me without causing any damage.
*(Doggo can't seem to find anything.)
Fortunately, I know the weakness of all dogs.
ITEM→Stick
*(You threw the stick and the dog ran to get it. You played fetch for a while.)
"HUH!? A FUN STICK APPEARS!"
*(Doggo loves fetch!)
MERCY→Spare
*(YOU WON!)
*(You earned 0 XP and 30 gold.)
"A stick appeared out of nowhere, and then disappeared. Was it a ghost stick? Did I just return it to the afterlife? I need some dog treats to think about this."
I don't think that people with Riddoch Syndrome make very good sentries. It'd be hard for them to tell what they're actually looking at even if it's moving.
Doggo calms his worries about the stick apparition by smoking some dog treats.
*(Isn't that bad for him?)
Unless the treats are made of toxic chemicals that can actually harm magical beings, I think he'll be fine.
As I head down the road once more, I notice some burnt dog treats on the side of the road a short distance away from the sentry post.
How'd these get over here? Doesn't he have some sort of ash tray or pile near the post for him to dispose of the leftover treats? Trying to kill me is one thing, but I can't forgive litter bugs!
*(It's probably biodegradable. Most magic is.)
I see Sans ahead on the path. He stops me before I go ahead.
"hey, here's something important to remember. my brother has a very special attack. if you see a blue attack, don't move and it won't hurt you. here's an easy way to keep it in mind. imagine a stop sign. when you see a stop sign, you stop, right? stop signs are red. so imagine a blue stop sign instead. simple, right? when fighting, think about blue stop signs."
Wow, Sans, that's extremely helpful information that would have been really useful FIVE MINUTES AGO! You know, before we fought Doggo?!
(Right? Can you imagine how horrible it would've been if Doggo didn't explicitly shout out his weakness?)
That would've sucked.
I give Sans a flat look of annoyance for his tardy information, which incidentally happens to be identical to the way my face always looks.
–_–
"remember... blue stop signs."
–_–
After my staring makes him sufficiently uncomfortable, I walk on down the path once again. I turn north at another fork in the road to talk to the snowman there.
"Hello. I am a snowman."
"I think the politically correct term is 'frigid dihydrogen monoxide person.'"
"I want to see the world..."
"It's right underneath you. You can't miss it, literally."
"I mean more like sight-seeing."
"Oh. That makes more sense."
"Anyway, if you would be so kind, traveler, please… Take a piece of me and bring it very far away."
Despite not being able to move, the snowman somehow gives me a piece of his head with a coal eye on it.
"I don't suppose throwing it as far as I can counts as "far away," does it?"
"Not quite."
"Okay, I'll just carry it with me to the surface."
"Thank you, and good luck!"
I head back down and read the sign post at the intersection.
*North: Ice
South: Ice
West: Ice
East: Snowdin Town (… and ice)
Frowning at the sign's inaccuracy, I decide to take out a marker and edit it a little.
*North: Ice and Snowman
South:I̶c̶e̶ Trees
West: Ice
East: Snowdin Town (… and ice)
Better. ^.^
*(You obsess over silly things.)
No, I obsess over silly people.
*(You're in no position to call me silly.)
Heading east, I see Sans and Papyrus talking up ahead.
"REALLY THOUGH, DO I KNOW THAT HUMAN?"
"do you not know… who you know?"
"PBPBPPBPT!"
How does he make that sound without any lips?
*(Magic.)
There's a type of magic that lets you make raspberry sounds?
*(It's surprisingly popular, especially in middle school, or so I've heard.)
"OF COURSE I KNOW WHO I KNOW! I JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU KNOW I KNOW WHO I KNOW AS MUCH AS I KNOW I KNOW WHO I KNOW, YOU KNOW?"
"no."
Papyrus finally sees me watching him and Sans.
"OH-HO! SPEAK OF THE DEVIL! IN ORDER TO STOP YOU, MY BROTHER AND I HAVE CREATED SOME PUZZLES! I THINK YOU WILL FIND THIS ONE TO BE… QUITE SHOCKING!"
Good one, Dr. Evil.
"FOR YOU SEE, THIS IS THE INVISIBLE ELECTRICITY MAZE! WHEN YOU TOUCH THE WALLS OF THIS MAZE, THIS ORB WILL ADMINISTER A HEARTY ZAP! DOES THAT SOUND LIKE FUN?"
That isn't a maze, Papyrus. It's just a passageway with invisible walls. Therefore, this isn't a puzzle, since there's no actual "solving" involved.
"WELL, THE AMOUNT OF FUN YOU WILL PROBABLY HAVE IS ACTUALLY RATHER SMALL, I THINK. OK, YOU CAN GO AHEAD NOW."
Not wanting to zap him for no reason, I decide to point out the critical detail Papyrus is missing.
"Papyrus, I need to have the orb first."
"OH, RIGHT."
Papyrus walks through the "maze", leaving behind a trail of footprints in the snow. He reaches me and puts the orb on my head.
"HERE YOU GO!"
"Thanks."
Papyrus then rushes back through the trap and stands on the other side.
"OKAY, TRY NOW!"
I manage to navigate the trap while keeping the orb balanced on my head.
"INCREDIBLE! YOU SLIPPERY SNAIL, YOU SOLVED IT SO EASILY! TOO EASILY… HOWEVER, THE NEXT PUZZLE WILL NOT BE EASY! IT IS DESIGNED BY MY BROTHER, SANS! YOU WILL SURELY BE CONFOUNDED! I KNOW I AM! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"
"hey, thanks... my brother seems like he's having fun."
"I'm glad at least one of us is."
Sans actually seems slightly upset at this.
"is it really that bad?"
"No, it's just kind of boring. But if it makes him happy, it's fine."
That seems to relieve the skeleton a bit, like he doesn't want to upset me or something. Odd…
"by the way, did you see that weird outfit he's wearing? we made that a few weeks ago for a costume party. he hasn't worn anything else since... he keeps calling it his 'battle body.' man, isn't my brother cool?"
I respond by shrugging and saying, "Meh, to each his own."
I walk down the path once again and come to a new area with the Nice Cream salesbunny nearby.
"I don't understand why these aren't selling; it's the perfect weather for something cold..."
Hoping that someone will actually listen to what I say, I advise, "Most people actually like to have warm things when it's cold and cold things when it's warm."
"OH! A CUSTOMER!"
It's like I'm talking to myself…
"Hello! Would you like some Nice Cream? It's the frozen treat that warms your heart! Now just 15G!"
Wanna cheer him up by buying some nice cream?
*(If it'll make him happy.)
"Sure, I'll have one."
"Here you go! Have a super-duper day!"
*(You got a Nice Cream.)
I thank the Nice Cream salesbunny and walk over to the ball game nearby. A few well aimed kicks quickly propel the ball into the hole. A small red flag pops up. There's some writing on the flag.
*Bravery, Justice, Integrity, Kindness, Patience, and Wisdom, using these, you were able to win at "Ball Game."
*(You are awarded 50G.)
Neat, that's much more than we got the first time.
Near the hole to the ball game is a tiny snowball, but before I can take a closer look at it, I am confronted with the most beautiful hat I could ever imagine! It's made of pure, crystalline ice with sharp corners and a holy, glowing aura. It's so amazing!
*(Icecap struts into view.)
ACT→Ice Cap→Compliment
"That is the second-greatest piece of headwear I've ever seen!"
"My hat's too loud for me to hear you."
"I SAID I LOVE YOUR HAT!"
"DUH! Who DOESN'T?"
The ice cap attacks me with magical missile hats. One of the projectiles hits me.
*(You got hit? You just fought one of these guys a few minutes ago.)
I can't help it; I'm just so awed by his hat!
*(Frisk, it's exactly like all the other ice caps' hats.)
NO! There's something special about this one! It's so amazing…
ACT→Ice Cap→Compliment
"I wish I had a hat that great…"
"Envious? TOO BAD!"
What?! No! I must have it! I will have it!
*(Frisk… are you feeling okay?)
ACT→Ice Cap→Steal
I tried to steal Ice Cap's hat, but alas, my attempts to take the radiant ice block fail miserably. The ice cap is not happy.
"HELP! FASHION POLICE!"
How foolish; we're well outside the fashion police's jurisdiction.
*(Didn't they try to extradite you once after you wore baggy clothes to some international gathering?)
Yeah, you'd think I'd have diplomatic immunity for that or something.
*(Some crimes are unforgivable, Frisk.)
Now on a mission to seize the hat, I can better focus on dodging Ice Cap's attacks. After its turn ends, I formulate a plan to lower its guard and seize the great hat.
ACT→Ice Cap→Ignore
*(You manage to tear your eyes away from Ice Cap's hat. It looks annoyed.)
"What? What are you doing?"
*(Ice Cap is secretly checking if you're looking at its hat.)
ACT→Ice Cap→Ignore
*(You continue not looking at Ice Cap's hat. It seems defeated...)
"OK! I'll ignore you too."
*(Ice Cap looks desperate for attention.)
Now's my chance!
ACT→Ice Cap→Steal
*(You successfully stole Ice Cap's hat, but it melts in your hands…)
"No! Nooo!" I scream.
But, that hat was so cool… Or was it? Wait, why did I want it so much? Now that it's gone, I can't remember what was so great about it in the first place. That hat must have had magical properties that made it more appealing.
Meanwhile, the ice cap is recovering from the loss of his hat.
"What's the point…"
Looking at the former ice cap, I notice that it's now just an ice cube.
I guess without its cap, it's not "Ice Cap" anymore; it's just "Ice".
ACT→Ice→Check
*(ICE – ATK 1 DEF 0)
*(Without its cap…)
"So… Cold…"
As an ice cube, Ice is either unable or too depressed to launch an attack.
*(Smells like frozen despair.)
The poor ice cap must have been under the same hypnotic spell as I was. It's obviously suffering from hat withdraw. I should try to make it feel better.
ACT→Ice Cap→Compliment
"You don't need that hat to look cool."
"So, I can still impress you?"
"Sure! Your hair cut is too rad to leave under that stuffy hat anyway."
"Yeah… I like my hair too…"
*(Ice doesn't mind its identity.)
MERCY→Spare
*(YOU WON!)
*(You earned 0 XP and 35 gold.)
Wow, that's quite a bit more than we got last time.
*(Maybe the hat was covering his savings?)
I bet that his cap required quite a bit of maintenance. That must have been expensive.
Now that the fight is over, I'm able to take a closer look at the snowball.
That looks like a frozen version Sans's "Fried Snow".
*(It's actually a snowdecahedron.)
Looking more closely, I see that the snow object does indeed have ten sides.
How… Why… Never mind.
I decide to overlook the oddly-shaped lump of snow and go on to the next area with Sans's puzzle.
"HUMAN! I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR..."
Papyrus looks around, confused.
"SANS! WHERE'S THE PUZZLE!"
I guess Papyrus only just arrived too. Otherwise, you'd think he would've noticed the lack of a puzzle earlier.
"it's right there on the ground. trust me; there's no way they can get past this one."
The area ahead of me is clear except for a small piece of paper on the ground. Examining it, I notice that it's the kids' word find section from the local newspaper. He couldn't even be bothered to make his own crappy word-find…
At least it's more of a puzzle than the electric "maze". Well, I don't have a pencil, so I guess I'll have to do it later.
I fold up the word find and put it in my inventory. Then I walk over to Sans and Papyrus.
"SANS! THAT DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"
"whoops, i knew i should have used today's crossword instead."
"WHAT!? CROSSWORD!? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT! IN MY OPINION JUNIOR JUMBLE IS EASILY THE HARDEST."
"what? really, dude? that easy-peasy word scramble? that's for baby bones."
"UN. BELIEVABLE."
Papyrus turns to address me.
"HUMAN! SOLVE THIS DISPUTE!"
"It depends on personal preference and how hard the individual puzzle is. Crosswords can have a wide range of difficulties, not just based on the difficulty, variety, or obscurity of the clues, but also the layout of the grid itself. Jumbles, meanwhile, are all the same concept of a scrambled word, and their difficulties are based primarily on the length of the word, but also a bit on how common a word and its letters are. I personally like crosswords more since there's a much greater range of knowledge required to do them, but it's still at least partially based personal preferences and abilities."
Papyrus looks confused
"…"
Sans is equally vocal about my reply.
"…"
The only sound in the area is the wind. A tumbleweed bounces past us. I decide to break the silence.
"Good timing, but wrong environment for a tumbleweed."
Sans takes this as a que to speak up.
"yeah. i dunno who keeps letting those things loose around here."
"It's probably the same guy that plays a rim-shot when you make those 'puns'," I reply using air quotes.
Papyrus is even more confused and decides to leave.
"I'LL BE AT THE NEXT PUZZLE…"
"…you know, i was expecting a more straight-forward answer."
"Then you clearly asked the wrong person."
Sans just shrugs as I walk to the next "trap". There's a note lying on the ground, a table with a fork and frozen spaghetti on it, a SAVE star, a mouse hole, and a microwave. I examine the note.
*(It's a note from Papyrus...)
*HUMAN! PLEASE ENJOY THIS SPAGHETTI. (LITTLE DO YOU KNOW, THIS SPAGHETTI IS A TRAP DESIGNED TO ENTICE YOU! YOU'LL BE SO BUSY EATING IT THAT YOU WON'T REALIZE THAT YOU AREN'T PROGRESSING, THOROUGHLY JAPED AGAIN BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS!)
NYEH-HEH-HEH,
PAPYRUS
When will he learn? Inner monologues are supposed to go on the back of the note!
*(I can't believe people ever considered him a high-level threat.)
It certainly wasn't for his trap-making skills.
Over at the microwave, I notice that all of its settings say "spaghetti".
He must have thought crossing out the words on the buttons on the microwave and replacing them with "spaghetti" would make it cook spaghetti.
*(I guess it doesn't really matter since it's not plugged in.)
I'm sure the mouse will find some way to heat up the spaghetti anyway.
I touch the nearby SAVE star.
*(Knowing the mouse might one day find a way to heat up the spaghetti fills you with determination.)
Reinvigorated by this knowledge, I continue my way forward into the next area. There's a sign to my left.
*Warning: Dog Marriage
What?
I take another look at the sign.
*(Yes, you read that correctly.)
O-kayyy…
*(I think this is where the dogi attack us.)
Oh yeah, them. Speaking of which, shouldn't we have come across Lesser Dog by now?
*(Actually, I think he's up ahead.)
Sure enough, Lesser Dog is digging around the snow around some trees a short distance away.
He's dutifully guarding the switch that lowers the spikes up ahead.
*(Or he's just playing around in the snow and just happens to be near the switch. He wasn't there last time.)
Either way, it seems we have no choice but to FIGHT him.
*(You just want to pet him until his neck is ludicrously long again, don't you?)
You know me too well. ^.^
I excitedly run up to the dog.
*(Lesser Dog appears.)
ACT→Lesser Dog→Check
*(LESSER DOG - ATK 12 DEF 2)
(Wields a stone dogger made of pomer-granite.)
That's not a dagger, Chara; it's a sword.
"(Pant pant)"
I dodge Lesser Dog's magical spear attacks.
Why are his attacks shaped like spears?
*(Maybe Undyne taught him? I don't think you need an actual weapon to use magical attacks.)
Or he's too simple to care. He and Greater Dog are the only royal guards I know that don't talk.
*(Smells like dog chow.)
ACT→Lesser Dog→Pet
*(You barely lifted your hand and Lesser Dog got excited.)
Lesser Dog yips and tries to tackle me, but I manage to move out of the way.
Why is he trying to tackle me?
*(He thinks your weapon is a dog treat.)
I suppose I should get rid of it then.
I toss the stick behind myself so that I can retrieve it after the FIGHT, but Lesser Dog chases after it. I barely dodge him running past me to retrieve the stick. He brings the stick back to me, and I decide that this might at least be a good way to calm him down.
*(You threw the stick and the dog ran to get it. You played fetch for a while.)
"(Tiny bark)"
*(Lesser Dog is really not paying attention.)
It even forgot to attack.
ACT→Lesser Dog→Pet
You lightly touched the Dog. It's already very excited…
"(Pant! Pant!)"
Lesser Dog tries to attackle me again, but I move to the side at the last moment and avoid his lunge.
*(Lesser Dog is barking excitedly.)
ACT→Lesser Dog→Pet
(You pet the Dog. It raises its head up to meet your hand.)
"(Yip! Yip!)"
The dog's attackle falls short this time, so I don't even have to move.
*(Lesser Dog is yipping enthusiastically.)
ACT→Lesser Dog→Pet
*(You pet the Dog. It was a good Dog.)
"(Excited noises)"
*(Lesser Dog is overstimulated.)
ACT→Lesser Dog→Pet
*(You pet the Dog. Its excitement knows no bounds.)
"(Enthusiastic sounds)"
Lesser Dog seems to only want to try to tackle me now instead of hitting me with his magic, but I'd still rather not get thrown to the ground by a monster about twice my size.
*(Lesser Dog is overly excited.)
ACT→Lesser Dog→Pet
*(Critical pet! Dog excitement increased.)
"(Passionate clamor)"
At this point, Lesser Dog finally stops attacking me.
*(Lesser Dog is excessively impassioned.)
ACT→Lesser Dog→Pet
*(You have to jump up to pet the Dog.)
"(Motor revving)"
*(Lesser Dog has superfluous eagerness.)
ACT→Lesser Dog→Pet
*(You don't even pet it. It gets more excited.)
"(Plane takeoff)"
*(Lesser Dog shows no signs of stopping.)
ACT→Lesser Dog→Pet
*(There is no way to stop this madness.)
"(Kettle whistle)"
*(Lesser Dog shows no premonitions of halting.)
ACT→Lesser Dog→Pet
*(Lesser Dog enters the realm of the clouds.)
"…"
*(There is no hint that Lesser Dog will cease.)
ACT→Lesser Dog→Pet
*(You call the Dog, but it is too late. It cannot hear you.)
"(Faraway bark)"
*(There is nothing to suggest Lesser Dog will finish in the near future.)
At this point Lesser Dog's head seems to have bent sideways slightly.
ACT→Lesser Dog→Pet
*(…)
"(…)"
*(It is unlikely that Lesser Dog will reach conclusion anytime soon.)
I can now see Lesser Dog's head again. It apparently turned around to head [hah] back down to where I can reach its head.
ACT→Lesser Dog→Pet
*(You can reach Lesser Dog again.)
"(Bark)"
*(Lesser Dog is lowering.)
*(Frisk, I think we should move on before we give him more serious neck issues.)
Yeah, you're right. I wouldn't be able to afford paying the medical bill for his neck realignment surgery anyway—not on my allowance.
MERCY→Spare
*(YOU WON!)
*(You earned 0 XP and 7 gold.)
It's a good thing we had that thesaurus to change up some of the words in that last battle, or it would've been really repetitive and boring.
Now that I've had my fill of petting Lesser Dog, I flip the switch in the snow and head back and down to the now unblocked bridge. A short distance beyond that, I run into the dog couple.
"What's that smell?"
"(Where's that smell?)"
"If you're a smell…"
"(…identify yoursmellf!)"
The two dogs sniff around the area until they find where I am.
"Hmmm… Here's that weird smell… It makes me want to eliminate…"
"(Eliminate YOU!)"
A fight begins.
*(Dogi assault you!)
ITEM→Stick
*(You threw the stick, and the dogs ran to get it.)
*(You played fetch for a while.)
"Let's kick human tail!"
"(Do humans have tails?)"
The dogi send out spinning circles of hearts at me. Half of the hearts are blue, so dodging them is effortless.
*(Every dog loves to play fetch!)
That's a false stereotype, Chara.
*(No, it's a true stereotype.)
What about dogs without legs?
*(They like to watch.)
Then why was the one at the park crying when it was watching the others play?
*(It had dust in its eyes. Dogs can't cry for emotional reasons.)
Maybe it was really upset about the dust?
*(Now you're just being silly.)
Right, cause before, I was totally serious.
MERCY→Spare
*(YOU WON!)
*(You earned 0 XP and 40 gold.)
"Weird smells can bring good things."
"(Friendly, fun fetch!)"
"Thanks, weird smell!"
"(It sure was fun to 'stick' together!)"
If I had known they'd be making malapropisms, I would've just pretended to be a puppy and pet them like last time.
*(You'd rather roll around in snow and mud while being attacked than listen to their fake puns?)
Yes.
The fight ends, and the dog couple continue on their way, as do I. The next area has another "puzzle". I step on the two X's and then walk over the pressure plate to lower the spikes.
Papyrus is standing on the other side of where the spikes were.
"WHAT?! HOW DID YOU AVOID MY TRAP? AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, IS THERE ANY LEFT FOR ME?"
Trap?
*(The frozen spaghetti.)
Oh, right. That.
"Papyrus, I'll obsess over how skeletons can eat later. For now, I'm afraid to say that I was unable to eat the dish, as you didn't provide a fork."
"OH, GOODNESS! SANS WAS SUPPOSED TO BRING THE UTENSILS."
Judging by his sentry station, it seems he only brought the condiments.
"PLEASE FORGIVE THIS MISTAKE. I, MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS, SHALL MAKE YOU MORE SPAGHETTI LATER."
"I know you will. Anyway, I'm going to start the next puzzle now."
I make sure to press the switch on a nearby tree as I approach the puzzle.
"YES, ABOUT THAT… HMMM… HOW DO I SAY THIS? YOU WERE TAKING A LONG TIME TO ARRIVE, SO I DECIDED TO IMPROVE THIS PUZZLE BY ARRANGING THE SNOW TO LOOK MORE LIKE MY FACE."
Looking at the puzzle, I notice that it is indeed shaped somewhat like a skull.
I guess it kind of looks like his face.
*(Sort of…)
"UNFORTUNATELY, THE SNOW FROZE TO THE GROUND."
Then how did he move them to begin with? Is he making these up as he goes? Why did Sans need to "recalibrate" his puzzles if they're created from scratch?
"NOW THE SOLUTION IS DIFFERENT, AND, AS USUAL, MY LAZY BROTHER IS NOWHERE AROUND. I SUPPOSE WHAT I AM SAYING IS—"
*Click!*
Papyrus is interrupted when I step on the pressure plate and the puzzle deactivates.
"WHAT? IT'S SOLVED?! THIS THING MUST BE BROKEN. OR DID I LEAVE THE OVERRIDE SWITCH ON?"
I simply shrug and walk over the now lowered spikes on the other side of the puzzle. Papyrus rushes past me to ready the next puzzle.
Hmm, maybe that's how Toriel managed to get past those traps. There's likely a reset switch for the puzzles in the ruins as well. That also explains how monsters get over here without being stuck.
*(A little headcanon goes a long way to resolving mysteries.)
I then notice that Sans is suddenly standing nearby, having appeared out of nowhere again.
*(Too late to be helpful, as always…)
"...you must be really good at puzzles, huh? it's impossible for you to have seen this one before."
"Unlikely, sure, but I could have seen a very similar puzzle before."
"yeah, i guess that's true. you must be some sort of puzzle-loving genius on the surface."
"Well, I do know my way around a few logic gates, even if my redstone circuitry isn't top-tier."
He gets about as confused as I expected him to be.
"what?"
"Ah, never mind. I'll show it to you and Papyrus when we get to the surface."
"i look forward to it."
Sans walks away in the opposite direction from where the next puzzle is, though I know he'll still appear there when I walk over to it.
*(Do you think he trusts you?)
Probably not, but the worst-case scenario is that he attacks us, and he only deals like one damage anyway, so I should be fine.
*(Don't forget about his karmic retribution.)
I was actually trying really hard to do just that.
I continue forward, and as expected, Sans is standing with Papyrus on the opposite side of a floor screen.
"HEY! IT'S THE HUMAN! YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS PUZZLE! IT WAS MADE BY THE GREAT DR. ALPHYS!"
*(Not his greatest work, considering it's already broken down and the instructions are in chicken scratch.)
"YOU SEE THESE TILES? ONCE I THROW THIS SWITCH THEY WILL BEGIN TO CHANGE COLOR! EACH COLOR HAS A DIFFERENT FUNCTION!"
"RED TILES ARE IMPASSABLE! YOU CANNOT WALK ON THEM!"
Yeah, Papyrus, I know what "impassable" means.
"YELLOW TILES ARE ELECTRIC!"
Isn't the entire puzzle electric?
"THEY WILL ELECTROCUTE YOU!"
*(Will they now? How shocking…)
Papyrus already made that pun, like, four puzzles ago.
*(Oh, I honestly didn't realize that was a pun.)
"GREEN TILES ARE ALARM TILES! IF YOU STEP ON THEM, YOU WILL HAVE TO FIGHT A MONSTER!"
*(Fight a monster?! That's alarming!)
I know you did that one on purpose.
*(Yes I did.) =Þ
"ORANGE TILES ARE ORANGE-SCENTED; THEY WILL MAKE YOU SMELL DELICIOUS!"
How does the color of the tile determine how it's scented?
*(Magic.)
So does that mean I'll be 'magically delicious'?
"BLUE TILES ARE WATER TILES. SWIM THROUGH IF YOU LIKE,"
How do you swim through a colored tile?
"BUT IF YOU SMELL LIKE ORANGES, THE PIRANHAS WILL BITE YOU!"
Do piranhas like oranges?
*(Can piranhas even smell?)
How and why are there piranhas in a colored tile? Do they need to feed them? What do they feed them?
"ALSO, IF A BLUE TILE IS NEXT TO A YELLOW TILE, THE WATER WILL ALSO ZAP YOU!"
Wait, piranhas are freshwater fish, but freshwater doesn't conduct electricity, so are the blue tiles freshwater or saltwater?
"PURPLE TILES ARE SLIPPERY! THEY MAKE YOU SLIDE TO THE NEXT TILE! HOWEVER, THE SLIPPERY SOAP SMELLS LIKE LEMONS, WHICH PIRANHAS DO NOT LIKE!"
Maybe they just hate baths.
"PURPLE AND BLUE ARE OK! FINALLY, PINK TILES. THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING. STEP ON THEM ALL YOU LIKE."
They're pushovers like that.
"HOW WAS THAT? UNDERSTAND?"
Knowing that asking for clarification will just cause Papyrus to repeat the rules incorrectly, I simply reply, "Of course."
"GREAT! THEN THERE'S ONE LAST THING. THIS PUZZLE IS ENTIRELY RANDOM! WHEN I PULL THIS SWITCH, IT WILL MAKE A PUZZLE THAT HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE! NOT EVEN I WILL KNOW THE SOLUTION! NYEH HEH HEH! GET READY...!"
Well, it can't be completely random; otherwise it would often lack a solution.
I'm surprised when Papyrus pulls the switch on the machine and the tiles on the floor actually light up and start changing colors.
Didn't you say the machine was broken last time?
*(It was. I don't know why it's working now.)
I guess we'll just have to try to solve it.
The lights at last stop shifting into new colors, and the final puzzle is… a straight line of pink tiles.
…
*(…)
I guess it really is broken.
Papyrus says nothing and instead just walks away.
I walk over to the other side where Sans is still standing.
"actually, that spaghetti from earlier wasn't too bad for my brother. Since he started cooking lessons, he's been improving a lot. i bet if he keeps it up, next year he'll even make something edible."
"Don't get your hopes up, Sans; cooking just isn't his thing. He'd be much better as a preschool teacher."
"what makes you so sure?"
"His boundless enthusiasm and overt friendliness make him very good at dealing with children."
*(It also helps that he was raising part of the next generation of humans to be completely comfortable around monsters.)
For all the good it did…
"we don't really have a job like that open down here."
"Well, if one ever becomes available, make sure he at least considers it."
Sans just says, "i'll think about it," and then disappears behind a tree.
*(What was that about?)
One of Sans's many concerns was how well his brother would fit into society when he fails to get into the royal guard. I was just trying to assure him that Papyrus has a place in the world that he can enjoy.
On to the next area, I see it has a sentry station and segments of snowdogs (dogs made out of snow, not the ones that pull sleds) scattered everywhere, some of which clearly defy physics.
It's a sideways L-shape with a top that is parallel with the ground; why hasn't it fallen down yet?!
*(Magic?)
That one literally loops in midair!
*(Frisk, why do you ask questions you know you'll never have the answers to?)
That's just how I roll.
*(Then get your tires replaced.)
My tires are fine; it's my suspension that needs repair.
*(What suspension?)
My suspension of disbelief.
I walk by the sentry station and touch the SAVE star.
*(Knowing that a disbelief repair shop garage can't be far away fills you with determination.)
A deer-like monster name Faun is standing nearby and offers its opinion of the mess of sculptures.
"A dog just rushed in here, filled with inspiration. It kept trying to build a snowdog that expressed its own emotions, but as it built, it kept getting more excited about the sculpture, and its neck got longer and longer."
*(Whose neck, the dog's or the snowdog's?)
Wait, that sounds like Lesser Dog. How did he get here before us if we didn't see him pass by?
*(I guess he ran through the forest.)
In that armor? I'm surprised he fit between the trees. And isn't there a sheer drop off on the hill before the trees?
*(Who knows? Maybe he can teleport too.)
"It added more and more snow, until…"
Even magically saturated snow has limits to what it can support.
"It was rather sad to watch, but I couldn't turn away."
"Couldn't you still close your eyes? Facing something doesn't mean you have to look at it."
"It was still more funny than sad to watch."
"*sigh* I bet it was."
Moving on, just before I get to the next puzzle, I notice that there's another path on my right. I had initially passed it by the first time I was here, but now I'm curious.
I wonder what's over there.
I get my answer after I follow it and arrive at a small patch of snow above a dark abyss.
Why does everything here have to be so high up?
*(You realize that we're still underground, right?)
Relative height, Chara. A fall from here would kill me just as easily as if I fell from the top of the mountain itself. Well, it wouldn't kill me for good, but you know what I mean.
On the patch of snow are two snow sculptures. Well, one snow sculpture and a pile of snow with "sans" written on it.
At least you can tell it's his.
The snow sculpture next to the pile of snow is shaped in the likeness of a buff version of Papyrus.
*(He gave himself muscles. But… he's a skeleton…)
He's probably imitating what he saw in some workout video from the dump.
I turn and go back to where I came to start the next puzzle. About 15 seconds later, the puzzle is completed and the bridge to the other side extends. I carefully slide down the narrow path of ice to the other side. Snow from one of the trees falls on my head on the way over. At the other side, I shake it off and turn right to go to where Gyftrot and Sans are. I ignore Sans's teleportation prank as I walk around searching for Gyftrot. It doesn't take long to run into him.
*(Gyftrot confronts you!)
Gyftrot most closely resembles a reindeer, but with four tiny trees growing up from his antlers, a mouth that opens sideways, and two tiny eyes on the base of his antlers in addition to the two on his face.
Mouths that open up sideways are always creepy.
*(They are rather off-putting.)
Its weirdness is rivaled only by the amalgamates and Omega Flowey.
*(Still, that's no reason to decorate it without its consent.)
Agreed.
ACT→Gyftrot→Check
*(GYFTROT 16 ATK 8 DEF)
*(Some teens "decorated" it as a prank.)
"Get this off of me…"
"Don't worry; I will."
Gyftrot is distrustful of me, but it decides the best way to tell if I'm honestly trying to help it is to launch present-shaped projectiles at me.
*(I question its method of judging character.)
*(Gyftrot laments its lack of hands.)
ACT→Gyftrot→Undecorate
*(You remove a childhood photograph of Snowdrake and his dad.)
"That's a little better."
It's apparently not better enough though, as Gyftrot attacks me again.
*(What is with monsters and attacking people only trying to help them?)
Maybe that's how they socialize, like how Pokémon battle?
*(Pokémon aren't real, Frisk.)
Monsters aren't supposed to be real either, yet here we are.
*(Gyftrot seems slightly less irritated.)
ACT→Gyftrot→Undecorate
*(You remove the striped cane that says "I use this tiny cane to walk" on it.)
"That's a little better."
Yet Gyftrot continues to attack.
*(You know, I was researching sharks the other day. Do you know who else murders people who are only trying to help them? Did you guess "sharks"? Because that's wrong. The correct answer is "nobody". Nobody but they are that pointlessly cruel.)
You identify too much with that A.I.
ACT→Gyftrot→Undecorate
*(You remove a stocking filled with chicken nuggets.)
"A weight has been lifted."
No kidding, these chicken nuggets feel like they're made out of lead… Wait…
I take a closer look at the nuggets in the stocking and find that they are made out of lead.
Gyftrot at last trusts me and stops his attacks.
*(Gyftrot's problems have been taken away, along with his lead chicken nuggets.)
Well, I don't want to leave him with nothing.
ACT→Gyftrot→Gift
*(You give the cheapest gift of all: Friendship.)
Uh, I was thinking we could give him something more than that.
*(Hey now, you aren't made of friendship!)
Think more tangibly, Chara.
*(Oh, right.)
*(You give 35 G because you can't think of an appropriate gift.)
"Aw, you shouldn't have…"
And what would've been an appropriate gift?
*(Friendship!)
You're so cheap.
*(Well, at least one of us needs to be financially responsible!)
You bought a deluxe custom order knife set for $200.
*(That was a necessity!)
I roll my eyes while smiling and shaking my head.
MERCY→Spare
*(YOU WON!)
*(You earned 0 XP and 20 gold.)
Now that Gyftrot is taken care of, I go back and turn right to enter the area with the snow poffs. Greater Dog is hiding under the farthest one, but I still check the others to make sure there's nothing else waiting for me here.
*(It's a snow poff.)
I know, I'm just checking for monsters.
I look at the next poff.
*(And this… is a snow poff.)
Yes, honey, I see that.
At the next pile of snow:
*(This, however, is a snow poff.)
You can't contrast two identical objects.
And another:
*(Surprisingly, it's a snow poff.)
Yeah, that one really caught me off-guard.
Just a few left now.
*(Snow poff…)
What? You couldn't think of anything for that one?
*(Constant improv is hard, okay?)
The next:
*(Is it really a snow poff?)
I'm 60% sure it isn't a tractor, so we can at least comfortably cross that off as a possibility.
The second to last one before Greater Dog:
*(Behold! A snow poff!)
See, this is what I love about you. You can always find entertainment even in the blandest places.
*(Oh, so I'm just a toy for your amusement?)
Don't be silly. You have to pay to buy toys. I only needed to woo you with my masculine charm to turn you to my wicked ways.
*(So, what, you braved the horrors of the Underground, faced a self-proclaimed god, and freed an entire race of people just to seduce me?)
Yes, and now that I have you, I no longer have to keep up this "innocent lost child" act I've had from the beginning. Well, the first beginning.
*(I can't believe I was so blind to your horrible machinations! If only I hadn't fallen into your evil trap!
And now it's too late! Nothing can stop me now! Buwahahahaha!
*(Hah. Don't let Sans catch you doing your evil laugh. He might get the wrong idea and think you're trying to take over the world.)
Why would I want to rule the world?
*(You could get anything you want, I guess.)
Hm, that is tempting, but I already have everything I need. The only thing I want is for humans and monsters to live in peace. And you, of course.
*(Maybe you could spring for some less cheesy lines.)
Looking in the final snow poff, I find something odd.
*(Eh? There's 30 g inside this one… What is this?)
Maybe this is where Greater Dog keeps his money. I'd better leave it.
When I reach the final snow poff, I stop as it sprouts a tail. Then a head pops out the other side, and it gives an adorable "Yip! Yip!" as it wags its tail.
How is its tail sticking out there? That's not where it's attached to the rest of his body.
Greater Dog's tail remains at about the same level as the rest of his form rises out from the snow, revealing its large set of plate armor and a spear both roughly twice my height.
I still have no idea how he fits in that thing.
*(Or how he got it that deep into the snow.)
Or back out.
The battle begins.
*(It's the Greater Dog.)
ACT→Greater Dog→Check
*(GREATER DOG 16 ATK 8 DEF)
*(It's so excited, that it thinks fighting is just play.)
The greater dog starts by barking at me. Loudly. So loudly, in fact, that it knocks me back.
"Oof!"
*(Greater Dog is seeking affection.)
Okay, how do I pet him again? From how high up he is compared to me, I'd just be petting the air if I tried now.
*(I think you have to call him over.)
Right.
ACT→Greater Dog→Beckon
*(You call the Greater Dog. It bounds towards you with a great amount of momentum.)
Now, bending down in front of a giant dog in plate armor and asking it to rush towards you may seem rather foolish, but it has two primary benefits that outweigh the discomfort of being thrown through several snow poffs, a few bushes, and someone's runaway pet rock. The first benefit is that the dog is now close enough to pet. The second benefit is:
*(That was hilarious!)
Hah, I thought you might enjoy that. Ow, still, I hadn't intended to go quite that far. I probably could've regained my footing there if I didn't trip on that rock. At least we landed in a poff.
*(You okay?)
I'll be fine. I've dedicated my life to comedy, and so I've accepted the responsibilities that come with it. He who lives by the slapstick shall die by the slapstick, often in an embarrassing position.
*(You've never really died in an embarrassing way before…)
Chara, I've been killed by a washing machine! Both my dignity and my stains were washed away that day.
*(You're such a drama king.)
*(Greater Dog is watching you intently.)
ACT→Greater Dog→Pet
*(Greater Dog curls up in your lap as he is pet by you. He gets so comfortable that he falls asleep… Zzzzz… …Then he wakes up! He's so excited!)
Somehow, his excitement is creating a power field that prevents petting.
*(Greater Dog puts his spear in his mouth to pat the ground with its front paws.)
ACT→Greater Dog→Play
*(You make a snowball and throw it for the dog to fetch. It splats on the ground. Greater Dog picks up all the snow in the area and brings it to you. Now he is very tired and rests his head on you…)
*(Greater Dog wants some TLC.)
I don't think they get that channel down here.
Now that Greater Dog is tired, the power field around him dissipates. I take this opportunity to pet him before his defenses reactivate.
ACT→Greater Dog→Pet
As you pet the dog, it sinks its entire weight into you... Your movements slow, but you still haven't pet enough!
*(Pet capacity is at 40%.)
ACT→Greater Dog→Pet
I pet roughly 50% harder this time.
*(You pet decisively. Pet capacity reaches 100%. The dog flops over with his legs hanging in the air.)
*(Greater Dog is contented.)
MERCY→Spare
*(YOU WON!)
*(You earned 0 XP and 40 gold.)
After the FIGHT, Greater Dog leaps out of his armor and gives me a lick on the cheek before jumping back into his armor headfirst, leaving his butt exposed out of the top. Apparently undeterred by his inability to see in this posture, he, in his armor, turns around and leaves.
Ahead of me is the trail I made after being tackled through the snow. The runaway pet rock that tripped me earlier is still there. I decide to walk over to it and pick it up in order to look for a tag or collar that might indicate its owner.
Wait, this is Sans's rock!
*(How can you tell it's his?)
Just look at it! It looks just like his rock!
*(O–kaaayy… If you say so…)
I wonder how it got all the way out here. Hmm…
*(Maybe he was taking it for a walk?)
Since when does he bother to take his rock out for a walk? Anyway, we should return this to him.
I place Sans's rock into my inventory and head on forward. Before I cross the bridge up ahead, I make sure to wave directly at the hidden camera Alphys set up nearby. I smile just from imagining the confused and freaked-out look he likely had on his face from that.
*(Must you torture the poor lizard?)
Aw, it's all in good fun. I'd also have yelled "Hi, Alphys!" if those feeds had audio. At least it's better than the first time around, when I peed into a bush that had a camera.
*(I still have no idea why he felt compelled to tell you about that afterwards.)
It's a standing law of reality that he must always say the most awkward thing possible to whomever he's speaking.
As I near the end of the incredibly long bridge, I see Papyrus and Sans standing at the other end ahead of me.
"HUMAN! THIS IS YOUR FINAL AND MOST DANGEROUS CHALLENGE! BEHOLD! THE GAUNTLET OF DEADLY TERROR!"
A giant flamethrower, a spiked ball on a chain, a ballista, a cannon, a bladed pendulum trap, and a dog hanging from a rope appear around the bridge section before me.
"WHEN I SAY THE WORD, IT WILL FULLY ACTIVATE! CANNONS WILL FIRE! SPIKES WILL SWING! BLADES WILL SLICE!"
"Wouldn't that just destroy the bridge itself?"
"I—ERM… HMM, YOU'RE RIGHT; IT WOULD. BUT THAT IS PART OF THE CHALLENGE! ANYWAY, EACH PART WILL SWING VIOLENTLY UP AND DOWN, AND ONLY THE TINIEST CHANCE OF VICTORY WILL REMAIN! ARE YOU READY!?"
"Go ahead."
"I! AM! ABOUT! TO DO IT!"
Despite his threat, the trap does not activate. I ask Papyrus, "Well? What's the holdup?"
"HOLDUP!? WHAT HOLDUP!? I'M... I'M ABOUT TO ACTIVATE IT NOW!"
Still nothing happens, and I'm getting impatient. I fold my arms and say, "That doesn't look very activated," while tapping my foot.
"WELL… THIS CHALLENGE SEEMS LIKE IT WOULD BEAT YOU TOO EASILY. YEAH! I CAN'T USE THIS ONE! I AM A SKELETON WITH STANDARDS! MY PUZZLES ARE VERY FAIR, AND MY TRAPS ARE EXPERTLY COOKED, BUT THIS METHOD IS TOO DIRECT! NO CLASS AT ALL!"
*(And his job is to capture you, not kill you.)
Papyrus comments, "AWAY IT GOES!" and the trap components retract.
"PHEW!"
I smile at Papyrus's antics.
"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!? THIS WAS ANOTHER DECISIVE VICTORY FOR PAPYRUS! NYEH! HEH!"
Papyrus gets distracted by something. It appears that he's looking at something near the other side of the bridge.
"…HEH?"
Whatever he saw disappears into the ground just as I turn to look. Papyrus doesn't seem too bothered by it, so I guess it wasn't too much of a concern.
The tall skeleton walks on ahead to prepare to ambush me just outside of town, leaving just me and Sans at the bridge. As I pass Sans, he says, "i don't know what my brother's going to do now."
"Heh, yeah, neither do I," I comment nervously as I rub the back of my neck.
"if i were you, i would make sure i understood blue attacks."
"I'm sure I'll be fine," I say as I walk on.
Papyrus isn't likely to kill me.
*(Yeah, I don't think he even has it in him to kill someone.)
Unfortunately, Chara's comment reminds me of a grim event from my former past.
You wouldn't think he does, but then…
I reach the town of Snowdin and think, "I didn't think I had the capacity to kill either."
Author's note: Just so you guys know, if you have any comment about the story, you're free to leave a review and/or message me.
