Author's Note: And the finale to this; I hope you've all enjoyed it. Please do leave a review for feedback if you have the time!
A Glimpse Beyond
Chapter 4: Closing
Rating: M
"This part takes a while, Sa-chan," Natsuki said to her daughter, making sure to keep her voice low enough that she wouldn't disturb Shizuru while she prayed. "Your Mommy has quite a long prayer to make. We don't need to stay for all of it, though. I'm just going to make a short prayer myself, and then we can go to the office to pick out some charms for the year."
"Why is Mommy's prayer so much longer than yours, Mama?" Sakura asked, looking up at Natsuki with big, crimson eyes. Her voice was just a bit too loud, so Natsuki gave her a quick motion to be quieter before she replied.
"That's a long story, Sa-chan," Natsuki said, "which your Mommy will tell you another time. The short version is that there are a lot of people she says a prayer for when she comes here each year. More people than she even knows the names of, so she has to count them all out, offering a prayer to each one."
It was obvious from Sakura's expression that she didn't fully understand it, but that was to be expected. "...Okay," she said at last. She looked over at Shizuru again, chewing on her bottom lip as the thought about something. "...Um, can I make a prayer too?" she said at last.
Natsuki's eyes widened a bit at this, and she gave her daughter a smile. "Of course," she said, reaching a hand out to pat Sakura's head. She shifted her position, kneeling down alongside her daughter so she could be on level with her. "Let me tell you how to do it, then," she said. She reached into her pocket and fumbled for a couple 100-yen coins, then took them out and gave one to Sakura. "First thing is, when we get to the offering box, drop this into it as a gift for the kami."
Sakura took the coin, her eyebrows furrowing as she looked at it. She then looked back over at Natsuki and said, "Do the kami need money?"
"Well, not really," Natsuki said, smiling at her daughter. "The purpose of it is in the intention. And to be honest, we don't even really know if the kami exist." Images flashed through Natsuki's mind of the Childs and Orphans she'd dealt with as a young girl, but that was certainly too complicated of a subject to get into today. Instead, she continued, "We do most of these rituals for ourselves. At least, that's how your Mommy and I see them. But the kami certainly might exist, so it's a good idea to be respectful."
Sakura's eyebrows furrowed even more at this, as she tried to puzzle out this concept. Eventually she shook her head, then looked back over at Natsuki. "Okay, what's next then?"
Natsuki let out a brief chuckle, silently blaming herself for confusing the young girl. Shizuru was always much better at these difficult subjects than Natsuki was, so hopefully she'd have a chance to talk it over with Sakura later. Perhaps the car ride home would be a good time for that. Natsuki made a mental note to bring the subject up then, but for now, she had the rest of the explanation to get. "Well, next, you want to ring the bell to greet the kami…"
"How was she today, while I prayed?" Shizuru whispered to Natsuki just after closing Sakura's bedroom door. She'd been waiting all day for a chance to talk with Natsuki about what Sakura seemed to think of her yearly ritual.
"She was good," Natsuki said, smiling at her wife. "She even wanted to say a prayer herself. Did you notice?"
Shizuru shook her head. She walked with Natsuki down the hallway, heading to the living room. It had been a long day, and though she could certainly use some sleep, she wanted to take advantage of the fact that she could finally speak with Natsuki one-on-one. This day always made her quite emotional, but the fact that she was sharing it with Sakura for the first time made it even more significant this year.
Although she'd wanted to speak with Natsuki, the right words just didn't seem to be coming to Shizuru right now. Instead of forcing them though, she simply made her way to the living room and took a seat on the couch. Their dog, Kiyoran, was already curled up on it, though he had just enough energy to roll over and press his body up against Shizuru's leg once she sat down. Shizuru returned his affection with some slow pats; he'd been quite a good boy today too, according to Mikoto, so he certainly deserved some affection now.
Natsuki took a seat beside Shizuru, opposite the dog. She placed a hand tenderly on her wife's thigh and said, "I don't think Sa-chan really understood why you're doing this, though. I'm sure she'll figure it out a bit more with age, but, well, of course she won't understand it all unless we tell her about the Carnival…"
"Mm, of course," Shizuru said, smiling a bit as she thought of her daughter, even despite this tricky question. Whether or not to try and tell Sakura about the Carnival was a question the two of them kept going back and forth on. It felt like something she should know about, especially if she ever asked how her parents got together, but it would be hard to expect her to believe it without any proof. Finally, Shizuru let out a sigh. "I suppose that's a question for another day, though."
"Yeah," Natsuki said. Her hand gave Shizuru's thigh a quick squeeze. "A question for today is: Any special requests for your birthday? Last chance to ask if there's anything you want in the morning."
Shizuru chuckled at this. She'd lost count of how many times Natsuki had asked her this. "Ara, if Natsuki is going to be this insistent, then I might just have to let her do something special," she said, looking over at her love out of the corner of her eye. "But to be honest, I can't think of anything I'd like more than to spend the day with my loving family."
"Yeah yeah, you say that every year," Natsuki said, cracking a slight grin. "And every year I come up with something special at the last minute anyway."
Shizuru turned toward Natsuki, raising an eyebrow. "At the last minute?" she said. "Something tells me that the trip to Kyoto last year would have taken a fair bit more planning than that. Natsuki wouldn't be trying to throw me off-guard by pretending not to have anything planned, now would she?"
Natsuki's eyes widened, and she quickly pouted. "O-oi! You're supposed to pretend not to know!"
Letting out a laugh at this reaction, Shizuru leaned over and planted a kiss on Natsuki's cheek. "Forgive me, Natsuki." With a smile on her face, she leaned back against the couch and let her eyes fall closed. "I do mean what I say, though. Back when I was in high school, I would have considered having a family like this to be my personal heaven."
"Mm," Natsuki said. She leaned in, resting her head on Shizuru's shoulder, and Shizuru rested her head against Natsuki's in turn.
Shizuru's words had caused a memory to flicker from deep within her mind. It felt like she was remembering a dream she'd had, but it didn't quite feel like a dream. And the timing of it was rather suspicious. "...Natsuki?" she said after a few minutes of thinking about it.
"Hm?" Natsuki said.
"I think I might have even dreamed about something like this back then. I think it was sometime around the end of the Carnival. But back then I ended up convincing myself it couldn't possibly be real. I don't think I've ever been more happy to be wrong."
"Mm," Natsuki said. She was clearly half-asleep at this point, so Shizuru probably shouldn't expect much more than this from her.
"Ara… well, before you fall asleep then," Shizuru said. "Thank you, Natsuki, for what you said in that dream. You really saved me back then."
"Mm," Natsuki said once more. But this time, she followed it up with, "You're welcome, Shizuru. I knew you could do it."
Shizuru's eyebrow raised at this last bit, but she decided to let it pass without comment. Smiling, she wrapped her arm around Natsuki and gave her wife a loving squeeze. "Alright, Natsuki, Kiyo-chan, time for bed," she said at last.
"Happy Birthday, Mommy!"
