Rachel sat at her desk, attempting to edit a piece of her work. She eased back into her chair and glanced out of the window of her office. She wasn't surprised to feel like the article wasn't enough to hold her interest. Not today.
With a sigh, she tossed the article on her desk because she was unable to read anymore and the words were just jumping around on the page. She'd probably fucked the piece of work up anyway, knowing it wasn't the most important thing on her mind.
Right now, her nerves were in overdrive. She rested her elbows on the desk and put her head in her hands, running fingers through her curls. She was waiting nervously for a phone call from Tori, but somehow still found herself thinking about that Mr Halstead. Was he sitting, feeling like he was going to throw up, just like she was?
The pounding in her head signalled her need for caffeine. Rachel got up from the office chair and wandered through the shared staff lounge where she poured a mug of coffee. It tasted awful, like it always did, but she drank it anyway in a bad to get rid of her headache.
Rachel slipped back into her office without saying a word to anybody. She hadn't necessarily made friends in her new office building yet, and she preferred to keep it that way. If she had to make small talk, she would but other than that she appreciated the quietness and stillness of her own office. She closed the door behind her, jumping slightly when she saw that Tori was standing by her desk.
"Nice view," the lawyer said.
"Oh, hi. I didn't expect to see you today."
"I know," Tori walked to the vacant visitor chair and sat. "We need to chat."
Oh, shit. Something in Rachel's stomach told her that wasn't a good sign. She took a deep breath and occupied her seat again, the one opposite to where Tori had sat.
"Okay, first of all. I have to tell you that last night, I went for drinks with Will Halstead…"
Rachel hadn't expected that, and she wasn't exactly sure why Tori was telling her about events of her personal life. That had nothing to do with her, did it?
The lawyer continued. "He called, I think, to talk about you. I.. nothing happened, I'm only telling you because I'm your lawyer and I want you to know that you come first. If…. If the test comes back negative, then perhaps it could be something. But I, just thought I would tell you."
Rachel didn't know what to make of the news. She nodded. "Okay-"
"I just didn't want you to hear about this out of context, or from Will himself."
Rachel laughed. "Look, I don't blame you. I like the guy, from what I know of him so far. If you'd said you'd had drinks with his brother, that would be a different story. Jay hates my guts."
"He doesn't hate you, Rachel. He's confused. There's a big difference."
"It doesn't seem like a big difference to me." She studied the lawyer. "You know, you're allowed to have a personal life, Tori. Did you really come by my office to tell me you had a date with Will?"
"No, that's not all," Tori pulled a folder from her briefcase and put it on Rachel's desk, her hand resting on top of it. "I got the DNA report back. I wanted to talk with you first, but I did call Jay. He's meeting me at my office later."
Rachel gulped at the lump in her throat. Oh boy, here we go. "Just tell me."
Tori pushed the file towards her and watched as Rachel opened the contents. "It's just a preliminary report, Rachel. But it's a pretty good match…"
Rachel set the file on the desk. Rising from the chair, she walked on shaky legs to the opposite side of the room and stared out of the window. She crossed her sweaty hands across her chest as she took in deep breaths. But there was little she could do to calm her racing pulse.
It was true. She was Erin Lindsay. Erin Halstead. Jay was her husband. Olivia was her daughter. The realization tore right through her, Rachel grabbed onto her heart and squeezed. She'd lost five years of a life she didn't even know. And now what was she left with? A family she couldn't remember and a future that didn't look bright at all. If anything, that future just got a thousand times more confusing.
"I had a feeling…" she managed.
Tori offered a smile. "I think everybody did. If it's any consolation, I think the others already knew. Before I even called."
"I expected it, but it doesn't make it any easier." She hadn't realized the tears had started until her voice broke. She turned back to the lawyer. So many thoughts and scenarios and questions swam in her mind, but she couldn't even find the will to focus on them right now. "Tori, I have a son."
The lawyer's brow furrowed.
"He's four and a half. When I woke up from that coma, he was already a toddler. I didn't… I didn't bring this up before because I had to be sure before I pulled him into this mess." She closed her eyes to block the tears. "When I asked you for legal advice, if I did turn out to be Erin, it was Freddie I had in mind. I think it's a safe bet he's Jay's son. He looks a lot like him. I think he'll need to be tested, too."
"Of course."
"But," she paused. "I want to tell Jay about him. So I'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything when you meet with him today."
"Of course."
Rachel massaged her scar on her temple, thinking about how Jay was going to react to this. About how Olivia was going to react to this. "He's going to want to know Freddie in the same way I want to know Olivia. This could get so messy. He already doesn't like me. I don't see this development making things any better."
"Rachel, we'll work it out. Don't worry. I know Jay, and I know that he's a fair and honest man, no matter what you may think about him. Regardless of what you may have read in the press, he'll work with us."
"Yeah, I'm not so sure." She ran a hand through her hair. She couldn't stop the tears now as the dripped steadily towards her chin. Rachel swiped them away quickly with a hand.
Why did this hurt so bad? She should be happy, right? Happy that she had her answer. She knew who she was. Why wasn't that enough?
Tori stood from her chair and walked over to Rachel, pulling her into an embrace. Not exactly a professional move, but Rachel looked as though she was about to fall apart. "Rachel, breathe. We'll get through this, I promise."
She closed her eyes. "Thank you. I appreciate everything you're doing for me, I really do. I didn't realize how much I needed a friend right now."
Tori smiled. "I liked Erin a lot. We were good friends. But, I like you too. I'd be your friend whether I'd known her or not."
"I appreciate that, too." Rachel dried her face and looked at Tori, this time she could actually see her face and she wasn't a blur because of her tears. "There's one more thing-"
"Okay, what is it?" The lawyer asked.
Rachel sighed. "I've been doing research to try and find my answers. It was just a guess before, but I need to know what happened to me. Dan knew something. He had to. There has to be a reason he lied to me. Was I living a double life? Did somebody intentionally hurt me? I can't go on not knowing the truth."
Tori broke apart their embrace, the new revelations stunning her. "Go on."
Rachel paced again, the thing she always did when she was nervous. "From what I can see from the crash records, my body was never recovered?" She laughed at her phrasing. "Well obviously it was never recovered," Her sarcastic tone dropped. "But there was a body in my seat."
"Right." Tori moved back to her briefcase and flipped through the file she had on the crash. "This shows you checked in on the flight, which means somebody did a head count and your seat was counted for. Plus, your personal belongings were recovered- your suitcase, but also your purse. It was found under your seat. Jay identified it."
Rachel chewed her lip. "Do you think he still has it?"
"Hmm, I'm not sure. I could ask. What's on your mind?"
"I don't know. Maybe I'm hoping that seeing it could bring back a memory. I had no luck at that nursing home. They won't even let me through the door. But maybe that could be a starting place?"
Tori sighed. "They haven't returned my calls. I don't have enough here either to get a court order for their files."
"I guessed as much," Rachel's hand pinched her throbbing forehead. "If I could just get in there…"
Tori opened the file on her lap. "Where is it? The outskirts? I think I've got a friend whose mother is there. I might be able to get inside, go and 'see' her."
Rachel's brows raised in surprise. "You would do that?"
"Your answers are important to you, Rachel. I'll make a call and see if my friend's mother is really there. If she is, I'll let you know and then we can go from there."
"Okay."
Tori gathered back her files and put them back into the briefcase. "I'm heading to meet Jay. Take time to figure out what you're going to tell him. If you want me to be there, we can do it in my office. You know, however you want to handle it.
"Thanks Tori, but I think I need to do this on my own."
"Okay." Tori turned towards the exit but kept her face on Rachel. "I'll call you after I speak to him."
Tori watched as the door in front of her opened. Jay and Will both walked into her office, presenting a united front. Brothers.
She got up from her chair and stepped towards Jay. She thought about hugging him, they'd been out a lot together with Erin and Tori's ex-husband, but perhaps it wasn't the right time to do that. She acknowledged Will too, but wasn't sure if he'd told his brother about their 'drinks' so she merely shook his hand.
"Have a seat, we'll get started." She dragged her gaze from them and made her way back to her desk.
"She's not coming?" will asked.
"No," she dropped into her chair. "I've already spoken to Rachel. We thought it was best if we did this separately. I think she needs time to take in the news before she speaks to either of you."
The brothers exchanged glances, they knew the result before Tori even spoke again.
She handed a copy to Jay. "These are the preliminary reports. It's not entirely conclusive but I think you can see it's close enough. These aren't the proper reports, but these ones tell us there's a 98% accuracy that Rachel Wilson is Erin Halstead."
Jay leaned back and closed his eyes. Heartache rose in his features but Tori could tell from his silence that he already knew the answers, even before he'd made it to her office.
Will took the report from Jay's grip and stared at it.
Tori stood up and reached into one of her cabinets. "Here are copies of her medical records. She wanted you to see them." She exhaled. "The accident she was in did damage to her face, which is why she doesn't look exactly like she did before." She waited whilst Jay flipped through the files, his brown low above his eyes. "I know it's one thing for her to say she doesn't remember anything, but here it is in writing. She was being treated by a neurosurgeon in New York. I've attempted to track him down but I'm not getting anywhere."
She had actually tried to track down the man, but her leads were going nowhere. It felt like all of her leads were headed that way.
She went on. "As far as her brain injury, her records indicate damage to the lateral cortex of the anterior temporal lobe. That's the part of the brain that deals with long-term memory."
"So, she really doesn't remember anything?" Jay asked in a weak voice.
"No," Tori answered. "There's another thing. That portion of the brain is also responsible for personality." Tori tried to make it as clear as she could for them. "She's not the same person she used to be. If you spend time with her you'll probably notice similarities- gestures, that sort of thing. I don't want either of you to think you can pick up from where you left off five years ago."
"Is she ever going to get her memory back?" Jay questioned.
"I had a talk with a neurosurgeon here in Med, and he said it's not looking likely. Most amnesiacs remember something, but Rachel's case is very unique. She hasn't remembered a single thing. She'd hoped being in Chicago would trigger her memory but so far, nothing." She softened her tone. "I'm so sorry Jay, I know that wasn't the answer you were looking for."
Jay nodded, staring down at the report that he' taken back from Will. He was quiet for a few seconds before he responded. "Who would do this to her? Who would do this to us?" His head snapped up but Tori didn't see pain now, she saw anger. "Who the hell was that son of a bitch that took her away from us?"
"His name was Dan Wilson." Tori answered. "He was a doctor in New York. He was also a passenger aboard the plane that crashed recently. That's how Rachel came to find me and then you. I don't have a lot of information on the guy yet, but Rachel asked me to do some digging."
"What kind of digging?" Will asked.
Tori looked at Will and saw the anger in his eyes as well. It was clear he'd cared for his sister-in-law, and she found that thoughtful. They'd all lost so much time. Time they wouldn't get back. "She needs to know what happened to her. She's as confused as you both are, she'd trying to figure out which parts of her life are lies and which are truth. I think we're going to start with the nursing home where she was in the coma. Jay, you identified her belongings after the crash, didn't you?"
"Yeah," He crossed his arms over his chest. "There wasn't much there, just her purse and a burnt laptop."
"Do you still have them?" she tried not to sound hopeful, there was a chance the reminders were too painful and he'd gotten rid of them.
"I might, somewhere. I boxed up a lot of her stuff, but I can't be sure about those. How the hell will that help you?"
"Probably nothing, but R- she'd like to see them.
"You don't think this is related to their jobs, do you?" Will asked. Being a police officer meant making enemies. "You don't think this is relate to their work?"
"I don't know," Tori was beginning to realize that she didn't have many answers for them at all. "What we do know is that Jay dropped her at the airport and she woke from a coma years later. If this was a random act of violence or a kidnapping, she'd be dead by now. Somebody took time to make it look like she was on that flight, then took care of her after whatever her actual accident was. We still need to figure that out. Maybe it was related to work, I don't know."
"But what if it wasn't?" Jay asked.
"If it wasn't, we'll cross that off the list and move onto the next possibility. I have to keep bugging the doctor who's listed on her medical records."
Tori caught the fire in Jay's eyes. Fire that told her it was a good job that Dan Wilson was already dead. She understood his rage, but at the moment Rachel was of more importance. She needed to make sure Rachel had what she needed to get through the next few days in one piece.
"So what happens now?" asked Jay.
"That's really up to you and Rachel." Tori answered. "She isn't really asking for anything at this point. I think she needs time to absorb, just like you do. If you're concerned about a legal visitation to Olivia, that's not what she's after so you don't have to worry about that. Maybe you two need to try and work that out before bringing anything legal."
She glanced between the brothers, wishing she could do something to make the situation easier on Jay. "You're welcome to take the reports, she wanted you to know."
Jay left the room first, sensing Will was lingering behind. "I'll see you outside." Then he walked free from the office.
"How did she take it?" Will asked when they were alone.
"Not well," Tori breathed out. "She knew before I said it though, just like Jay did. They have a lot to work through."
Will exhaled, blowing a ton of air from his mouth. "I don't know how to make this easier for him."
"Just be there for him. it's about to get sticky, Will."
"Oh shit, the boy."
Tori looked shocked. "Wait, you know?"
"I didn't, until just now." He closed his eyes. "I saw a photo on her desk. Fuck." He detailed to Tori his visit to Rachel's office. "I didn't put two and two together until now. Well, shit. I thought things were bad before…"
"You can't say anything. She's going to tell him. She needs a little time to figure out how. Will, we have to let them work through this together."
"I'm torn on this one, Tori. He's my brother."
"Will, you're doing the right thing already. I'm sorry you're stuck in the middle of it. Can I do anything?"
He flashed her a grin. "You can have dinner with me."
"You know I can't do that. I'm representing Rachel."
He sighed, knowing she was right. That didn't stop him feeling disappointed. "I should get going. I have a feeling this is gonna get bad before it gets better."
Yep thought Tori you're right.
Jay checked the address he'd found and stared at the small two-floor house. It was nothing like his house, this was much smaller and more secluded. Not even close to the place they'd shared together on the other side of town. Still, this side of Chicago wasn't cheap, and he wondered how she was able to fund a place like this.
He took in the sight of the small houses on the bare street and he rubbed the dull ache in his chest. He wanted to see her, felt like he needed to see her. There were things he needed to say, now they knew for sure. He couldn't sit around and wait for her to make the first move.
His legs were totally unsteady, more than he wanted to admit, as he made his way towards her driveway. He knocked on the door. When nobody answered, he paused and listened: there were voices coming from the back of the house. It looked open plan so he headed round to the other side.
The grassy area of her garden was unfenced. As he reached the back of Erin's cottage, his eyes drifted to a young boy playing with a Batman toy in the grass. When he sensed Jay, he turned and stared with his deep green eyes.
Eyes that were exactly like Jay's. Same shape, same color. The brown haired boy even had the same shaped face.
"Um, hello," Jay managed, when he'd found his voice.
"You're a stranger," The little boy turned to run towards the house. "Momma! A stranger!"
Momma? Jay stepped towards the door to try and get another look at the kid. The door was wide open so he could get a fairly good look inside. The child ran up to his Mom, and she turned towards him.
Jay's pulse raced as he stood in the yard, trying to figure out what the hell he'd just seen. No way was this real. He mentally ticked off time in his mind as his gaze shifted towards the woman coming out of the house. Words choked in his throat. Snapshots of their life together flashed before his eyes, memories of a pregnancy that she'd only just told him of, before she'd left on that trip.
"I didn't expect to see you today," she spoke as she came into his view.
"I.. uh, I can see that." He looked back towards the house, still too stunned to do anything but stare. "The boy-"
"He's my son," When Jay looked at her again, she added "I'm pretty sure he's your son, too."
"My…" he swallowed hard. "…son?"
She crossed her arms across her middle, looking beautiful and nervous and a thousand other things he couldn't describe because he wasn't thinking clearly. "He was almost three when I woke up. He was born by C-section when I was in that coma. He's four and doesn't know anything about this yet. I.. I haven't told him about you yet." She hesitated before speaking again. "He thinks his father died in that plane crash."
Jay couldn't seem to keep his eyes from glancing in the direction the little boy had walked. "I have a son."
A son. A four-year-old little boy who looked just like him. With his green eyes and brown hair and Erin's little dimple. His heart felt alive in his chest. A son he hadn't once let himself dream about because it was too painful to think about that fact he'd lost more than one thing.
But he hadn't lost him. He was here. He was as alive as Erin. He was…
"You didn't say anything," His happiness morphed into confusion. "All this time, and you didn't say anything?"
"I didn't know for sure until yesterday. I still don't, he hasn't been tested-"
"But you're pretty sure now?"
"I have a strong feeling. It's not the same."
"A strong feeling. It doesn't take a strong feeling to see he looks just like me." Jay raked a hand through his hair. "Shit, all this time and you didn't tell me? Were you even going to tell me?"
"Of course. I wasn't planning on keeping him from you!"
"Isn't that what you're doing?" His jaw clenched. "You obviously didn't tell me when you found out who you are."
"Jay, it's been a day-"
He was getting frustrated. "Only a day?! A day is like a lifetime for me. I assumed you'd lost the baby!" Jay drew in a breath to try and calm his temper. "Fuck, he's my son? Do you have any idea how much I wanted that baby? Oh my God, I didn't just lose you. I lost him too. And now you think it's okay to tell me it's only been one goddamn day?"
Jay backed away. Why couldn't he control his emotions when he was around her? One minute he wanted to scream in her face and the next he felt guilty for doing so. Why was everything getting worse instead of getting better? He had a son. A son. He should be happy, he should be thrilled. Instead, all he felt was pain, misery and a whole lot of confusion.
"Don't do this," she pleaded. "I'm telling you now."
"You didn't tell me. I found out on my own accidentally!"
"I was going to tell you," her voice was quiet.
"When? When it was convenient for you? Did you even think about how I'd feel? No you didn't, because you can't remember anything about me. It's convenient, isn't it? That you have an excuse for not caring about anybody else's feelings?"
"Jay-"
He had to stop his emotions getting the better of him. She didn't remember him. She didn't care about him. He had to think about Olivia and… his son.
"What's his name?" He knew his tone had turned harsh, but he currently didn't care.
"Freddie-" she blew out a breath. "Freddie Daniel Wilson."
"You gave our son his name." His jaw was tight.
"Jay, I didn't name him. I was in a coma when he was born!"
He closed his eyes and forced himself to stay quiet. "I need visitation. If you won't agree to it, I should take it to the courts-"
"I'll agree. I don't want to keep him from you."
"Okay. You have to tell him. I'm not going to pretend he isn't mine. We both know he is. I've waited too damn long already."
"Okay, I'll do it-"
"And I want his name to be changed. I want him to have my name. Our name, goddamn it." He glared at her through wide eyes. He knew, he knew this wasn't her fault. Knew it wasn't directly her doing, but shit, he hurt. "Keep the middle name if you have to, but his last name should be Halstead."
His fingers pushed against his temples as he continued. "I'll meet you on Saturday next to the pier. Please don't be late."
Her hand closed around his arm to stop him from leaving. "Hey! This isn't easy for me! None of this is. I'm trying to do the right thing-"
"The right thing? Which one is the right thing? Not telling me about our son, or getting married when you're still married to me?
Her hand fell from his bicep but she didn't step back. "Jay, that's not fair. I didn't know I was your wife when I was with Dan. He led me to believe we were married. It's not like we went through a ceremony."
"Oh, how convenient for you."
Jay saw the hurt in her eyes, but he also saw a tinge of anger.
"You use that word 'convenient' a lot, don't you?" She started. "I seem to be a 'convenient' target for you. If you've got something to say, just say it."
"Fine," he now spoke through gritted teeth. "I don't like you."
"Perfect," she let out a laugh but didn't smile. "Then we're even because right now, I think you're a fucking asshole."
Jay's jaw tightened to the point that it hurt. He stared hard at her. At the woman who was still his wife. It didn't matter that she didn't remember him. What mattered was she thought she'd been married to somebody else. He wished she'd known that she belonged to him first.
He left her standing at the back of her house. He knew she was right. He was an asshole. A grade-A asshole. But all he could think about was the fact she was wearing a wedding ring, given by another man. That, and the fact he now had two children. A son she'd named after that fucking son of a bitch.
The wretched ache in Rachel's chest was worse than any other pain she'd ever experienced. Shit, she'd have a million CAT scans over this. That was saying a lot.
She didn't know what to do but she knew who would. Will knew his brother better than anyone. And she couldn't concentrate anyway, so she decided to go and see him. Maybe he could tell her what to do.
Will was on a phone-call when she peeked her head around his office. When he turned, she forced a smile and walked into the room. As he finished his conversation, her eyes darted around the room. She was drawn to a cabinet full of photographs, one in particular. It was of the three of them- her with Will and Jay.
"I was hoping we could talk," She said after he'd hung up the phone.
"You up for a walk?" He suggested.
"Sure," she followed him from the room and outside. "I'm assuming you heard about yesterday."
Will slipped his hands into the pockets of his trousers. "I did," He cleared his throat. "Are you okay?"
Her brow creased. "No. Jay was a little pissed when he left."
"Jay can have a temper," He said as they walked further into the street. "He doesn't handle it well sometimes."
"Oh there's a surprise…" She said sarcastically. "He wouldn't even let me talk."
"Er- Rachel, you've got to understand this is really hard for him. He changed after you disappeared, he shut himself down in a lot of ways."
"Why is it so much easier to talk to you instead of him?"
Will laughed. "Because you weren't in love with me. And I guess, you don't owe me anything. Jay wants his wife back."
She dropped onto a park bench, her breathing hitched. "I'm not his wife. I may have her body and her face and her voice, but I'm not. Not anymore."
"Yeah, you are." He dropped to the bench beside her. "You can't see it because you don't remember it. But you're still her. Things you say, things you do, the way you carry yourself. You still have the same gently spirit she did."
"But I'm different."
"Well, that too. But it doesn't mean you aren't who you are now because of who you were then. People change all the time."
"But your brother is so… cold. I can't believe he was ever the man you describe. Everything I've seen of him in the last week makes him look the type of man that the media makes him out to be. He's arrogant, sometimes cold-hearted and a fucking ass," She groaned. "I can't read him. I don't know that I'll ever be able to."
Will chuckled. "But, that's Jay. He keeps his emotions closely guarded. Although he wasn't always like that."
"What changed him?"
"Losing you changed him. Jay closed himself off from everything and everybody when we lost you. He essentially existed for two reasons: to work and to take care of Olivia. Nothing else in his life mattered. You have to know that although you have to get to know your daughter, the thought of losing her would be terrifying to him."
"I wouldn't try and take her away from him."
"I know," he spoke softly.
Rachel sighed. "I feel like my life is split in two. The person I was before, the person I am now. I don't know how to balance them."
"Maybe you're trying too hard. It'll happen when it happens, I know it's hard. But you guys will get through this. Give him a day or so. Once he's spent time with Freddie, his anger is sure to disappear."
"So I shouldn't go and see him today?"
"No, you shouldn't. There's no way you'll get through to him."
"Will, I don't know what difference a day will make. I just seem to set him off every time he sees me."
"You think you didn't set him off before?" Will scoffed. "You did it all the time. That's what made your relationship so fun to watch. He always thought you were either too independent or something and it pissed him off. Deep down, I think he feared you didn't need him the way he needed you." He placed a reassuring hand on her arm. "He's a good guy, Rachel." His brow creased slightly. "God, it's so weird to call you that. Listen, give him a bit of time. Don't tell him I told you, but this hurts him so much because he wants more from you than you can give him right now."
Rachel wanted to laugh. "What? He's got beautiful women draped across him in all the pictures I've seen in the media. What the hell could he possibly want from me?"
"You really don't know?" There was clear amusement in his voice. "He wants you back."
An ache settled near her heart. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to give him that."
"Jay hasn't opened his heart to anybody since you left. I think the realization that you did is what's making this so hard. He loves you as much as he did, probably even more, before you disappeared. You don't. That hurts him."
She closed her eyes. "I don't want to hurt him."
He shuffled on the park bench. "Were you in love with the other guy?" He asked gently.
She no longer felt comfortable sitting. Rachel stood and started to pace. "I thought I was. Though now I'm wondering why. How could I be so fucking stupid? It's obvious the guy never loved me."
Will walked over to her. "There's a reason all of this happened. You have to believe that."
"I don't really know what to believe anymore."
Will wandered through the front door of Jay's house and felt like he'd walked in on a war zone.
"I'm not going!" Olivia screamed from upstairs, slamming a door.
"Yes you are, Liv! You don't have a choice!" Jay's shout travelled to the upper floor of the house. He spotted his brother. "If I don't have a fucking choice, then she doesn't either."
"You can't make me! I won't go!" Olivia yelled, before slamming the door again.
"What the hell is going on?" Will managed to squeeze in between their shouting match.
"She's pissed about tomorrow. She doesn't want to go see Erin…Rachel.. or whatever she's calling herself these days,"
"oh, Will snuck beside Jay to grab a beer from the fridge. "Rachel."
"Yeah, whatever." Jay grabbed a beer himself.
Will blew out a breath. Definitely not a good night in the Halstead household. Olivia trailed into the kitchen, stared at her father before sitting next to her uncle.
"I'm not going tomorrow." She said, throwing her hands on the table. "You can tell him uncle Will, he's not listening to me."
"Oh I think he can hear you just fine."
"I don't want to go! I really really don't want to see her!" Her little eyes filled with tears.
"You know what, Livi? I love you, but you're talking about your Mom and I'm not going to let you say mean things. You can be upset, you're allowed to be frustrated but you're going to have to get used to it. She is your Mom and she deserves a chance to get to know you. And you can give me that death stare all you like, but you're not going to change the fact." Will tried to calm the situation.
Olivia started to cry and ran from the room.
"I'll go to her," Will said. "she's mad at you."
"She's mad at the whole damn fucking world." Jay scoffed, taking a large gulp of beer.
"So are you buddy. Bad combo," Will slapped his shoulder. He made his way upstairs, Olivia's door was closed.
"Can I come in, Livi?"
"NO!" She shouted.
"Well I am anyway," He pushed the door ajar and looked at his niece who'd collapsed on her bed. "How long are you gonna stay mad for?"
"As long as I want to, Uncle Will! She's going to ruin everything!"
"You don't know that."
"I do! She's going to spoil everything."
"Livi, give it a chance okay?"
"I don't want to."
"Then do it for me. She's your Mom, so do it for me."
On a long sigh, she pulled back and wiped her tears with a sleeve of her sweater. "Okay. But you owe me."
Rachel changed her clothes three times. Slacks? A skirt? Then she slid on jeans, they were the way to go. Calm and casual…
She glanced at her reflection in the mirror and frowned. Who was she trying to fool? She wasn't calm, she wasn't even anywhere near that emotion.
She messed with her hair for the billionth time. Up, down, then back up. Finally she decided to leave her curls lose.
By the time she'd fastened Freddie into the car, she already felt exhausted. This was a bad idea. She was having a lot of those lately.
She and Freddie were the first ones there, so she sat with him on some steps. She found herself trying not to stress about a situation that was so far beyond her control. Then again, her whole life felt like it was beyond her control nowadays.
They strolled up ten minutes later. Rachel's stomach rolled when she clocked eyes on him. Her palms grew damp. He wore lose-fitting jeans and a shirt, the sleeves rolled to his elbows and the buttons stopping mid-chest. So he could look calm and casual.
And for fuck's sake, sexy as hell.
Rachel's gaze fell to the girl. Olivia sent her a wicked glare.
She straightened her back, this was going to be awkward no matter what. She may as well get it over with.
Letting out a sigh, Rachel picked up Freddie and approached the pair.
"Freddie," she said quietly. "This is Jay." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "This is your… Daddy."
Please Review! :)
