Waking up after a night without dreams felt so new—almost odd. I laid for a moment, my eyebrows furrowing as I thought it over. Not once did I see him as I slept. There were no screams, no tears, no pain. For once, I truly felt awake, although incredibly numb. It was almost as if I was going to realize any moment that I was dreaming, about to fall into that black abyss just to watch him walk away.

Sitting up, I allowed the relief to wash through me. Smiling, I remembered that I told Jacob that I would come back today, also wondering whether Quil and Embry would come as well. Considering Jacob's reaction to them yesterday, I doubted it very highly.

Charlie's settled nerves were obvious right after I finished ready, walking down the stairs. He told me about the hockey game he was watching today with Harry. Thinking of the motorcycles, I gave him the idea to invite Billy as well, which he instantly agreed to.

The day was fresh, the usual pain in my chest now a dull ache. I just had to keep my mind off of him. Jasper and Jacob were helping more than I ever realized they would be able to.

Entering my truck, I didn't notice my arm skimming against my radio, bumping up the volume that I usually kept silent. Expecting to hear only the loud rumble of my truck as I twisted the keys, I was unfortunately mistaken. Loud music blared, wiping away my moment of content.

Ice flushed throughout my veins as I nearly broke the radio, hurriedly turning the volume down completely. I couldn't hear the music. It didn't matter which type of music it was; classical, country, rock, pop—anything with a melody felt like knives grating within my ears. Grimacing, I stared at the radio that seemed to mockingly glare back. The haunting reminder of my birthday was the one and only thing that he left behind.

Childishly, I exited my truck, prepared to get rid of the thing immediately. No more reminders.

Ten minutes later, I was driving down the road, ignoring the large hole that now sat beside my steering wheel. It looked as if I had hacked at the radio with a pickaxe, although I truthfully didn't care. It was gone and that was all that I had needed. A small wave of guilt washed over me as I remembered that it was a gift. Not only from Emmett but Rosalie and Jasper. I cringed as the guilt continued to grow, but the more I thought about it, it was truly just from Emmett. I knew that Rosalie more than likely had nothing to do with, and I doubted Jasper at the time did either.

After picking up Jacob, the day continued on as we hunted for all the parts needed for the motorcycles. Even though some of the parts were found at the dump, I used a lot more of my college fund that I originally had in mind. Not that it mattered—in my opinion, these moments of peace with Jacob were worth it.

For the rest of the day, Jacob and I stayed over at Harry Clearwater's with our dads. I ended up meeting Sue and her two kids, Seth and Leah.

By the time I made it home, I was completely exhausted. After showering, I walked over to my ancient computer. Emailing Renee seemed more of a chore than a joy, which was saddening in a way. I could barely hold my eyes open once I sent her my reply, but there was still something I had yet to do today.

I needed to call Jasper.

Slumping down on my bed, I pulled out my phone to see the battery was dangerously low. Jacob had used it throughout the day to search for different parts we would need for our bikes—along with looking up an infinite number of pictures to show what the finished product should look like. Due to how tired I was, along with the limited time I would have to talk to Jasper, I precariously put off our conversation until tomorrow. It almost stung hooking my phone to its charger instead of using it.

Reluctantly pulling the covers around me, I tried my hardest to fall asleep, hoping for another dreamless night.


A sheen of sweat coated my forehead as I awoke to screams falling from my throat. Charlie loomed above me, his hands tightly gripping my shoulders until he saw my eyes were now open. Sucking in a ragged breath, I slumped back, disappointment rushing through me. The dreams returned with a wicked vengeance, it appearing to be just as much of a letdown to me as it was for Charlie.

"Might as well stay up, Bells. It was about time to get up anyway," he murmured, before leaving the room.

Looking over at the glowing red digits, I saw he was right. Rubbing my now sore throat, I tried my hardest to shove his retreating form out of my head.

I got ready in a blur, wishing for that refreshing numbness to return. Even though that pain was still there, at least I wouldn't feel it. Blissful ignorance was far better than the harsh reality—especially living with it for almost half a year.

I ignored Charlie's gaze as I walked downstairs, knowing that he was just waiting for the lifelessness to return. He expected it. Thinking about Jasper and Jacob gave me enough incentive to smile as I poured a bowl of cereal, acting indifferent. I'd much rather see Charlie's eye-crinkling smile than his uneasy stare. Like I was about to shatter at any second.

Going to school was easier—I didn't have to pretend for anyone there. But today I figured that I might as well try and speak to my old friends again. I spoke to Mike at work, but only when I had to. Thinking of everyone else... it just might make things better. After all, the world grew immensely brighter once I started talking to Jasper. Even more so when I added spending time with Jacob to it.

As my classes wore on, I figured that if I were to talk to any of my old friends, it should be Angela. Even though she would surely see through my facade, I knew that she wouldn't push.

Biting my lip, I hesitantly entered the lunch room, looking back and forth between two tables. The empty one, where I usually sat. And the one that was filled with old friends from a seemingly different time. Making my decision, I awkwardly wandered over, hesitantly sitting down beside Angela. I noticed her look of surprise before she smiled. Everyone else, however, continued to chat as if they hadn't noticed.

"Hey, Angela," I whispered, my halfhearted smile being the best I could give.

"Hey, Bella, how are you?" she asked, her eyebrows turning up. The sympathy shined within her eyes, causing me to inwardly sigh.

"I'm alright," I replied, biting my lip. "How about you? Are you... still with Ben?" I couldn't help but flinch, realizing this was something I didn't even know. He wasn't sitting here today, so I couldn't even have a hint.

She laughed softly before nodding. "Yes, we're still together. He's out sick today—he has the stomach bug that's going around."

Our conversation continued, Angela supplying most of it to my relief. It felt as if I had just moved here all over again. She offered to hang out sometime, which I gladly agreed to—anything to keep my mind off of things.

The rest of lunch continued, the rest of the table talking about bear sightings around Forks. I rarely interjected, only speaking about how Charlie has gotten reports of the sightings as well. Each time I spoke, everyone but Angela would stare at me as if I had grown a second head, which wasn't too surprising.

I had returned out of the blue, after all.


I had promised Jake that I would come and see him after school. But now I found myself driving somewhere very, very different. I had not a clue why I was going here. It seemed like the complete opposite of something I should do—I did not need to see his house. Any hope of that peaceful numbness would instantly fall away as I continued on.

But in the distance down the winding path, I could see the outline of the tall white house. Tears pricked within my eyes as I grew closer, pain welling inside me as I looked at all the shut windows. It had been so open—so warm and happy. Now, it just seemed like a vacant shell. My heart twisted as I sat within my truck, twisting the keys and listening to the rumble die away.

Staying bolted in my seat, I refused to move. I couldn't bare with approaching; gazing inside windows only to see furniture covered with sheets, or far worse—to find it empty. At the very least, I could pretend that everyone was inside, just waiting for me to arrive. That the door would open any second, someone coming to greet me.

Shutting my eyes, I sucked in a deep breath, falling back to reality.

Just one last time I wanted to see this house in all its glory. In my head, it was the best way to forget. To move on. But was that even what I wanted? Jumping, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Taking it out, I expected to see it was a call from Charlie or even Jacob. But I froze right as I saw Jasper's name across the screen.

He was calling me?

Momentarily panicking, I wondered if he somehow knew where I was right now. The flush of horror and embarrassment made my heart kick up, a lump forming in my throat. Sucking in a deep breath, I mentally chastised myself, knowing that wasn't possible. I answered, biting my lip.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Bella," Jasper's warm voice replied, my shoulder slumping as I relaxed. "Just wanted to see how you were doing."

I couldn't help but smile, it feeling nice. It also felt good to see that he cared about how I was getting along. The only one out of that family who still did. Perhaps I wasn't just boring him when I told him about my days.

"I'm doing better," I replied, ignoring the view of the house in front of me. God, it felt so odd to be sitting here while talking to him! Almost like a stalker—although I knew that wasn't the case at all. If anything, it was to help ease the pain, even a little bit. Shaking my head, I continued. "Yesterday was pretty busy. I helped Jacob find all the parts that are needed for the motorcycles, then spent the rest of it with Charlie at one of his friends' house."

"Sounds good to hear you getting out and doing more. And it's helping?"

"A lot. Talking to you and hanging out with Jake has gotten my mind off of things. Today I started talking to Angela again as well," I replied, figuring I shouldn't add much more about what I have done today. That would lead to one awkward conversation.

"That Jacob guy... was he the one Ed-" he paused before saying his name, unlike the times he has slipped. Letting out a sigh, he tried to correct it. "Was Jacob the one he was complaining about last prom?"

I couldn't help my small laugh, wondering what all Jasper heard. Then again, Jacob couldn't possibly have gotten under his skin. My smile fell.

"Yes, that's him. Jacob's actually the reason I found out what you all were," I mused, leaning back in my seat. Those times seemed so long ago. I still remembered a much more shy, shorter and slender Jake walking down the beach with me. My poor attempt at flirting which had actually worked in my favor. Seeing how much he has helped me these past few days, I cringed.

"He knows what we are?" The warmth within Jasper's voice vanished completely.

"No, no he doesn't," I was quick to clarify, shaking my head even though he couldn't see. The last thing I needed was Jacob to get involved in any way. "It was an old story, passed down by their ancestors. A Quileute legend that spoke of a deal made with the 'cold ones' to stay off their land. Apparently, it was the Cullen's before you and Alice came along," I explained.

"I can recall Carlisle speaking of it long ago. It's amazing that they still remember after all these years," he chuckled.

A small smile lingered on my lips as I agreed with him. "So how was your day?" I asked, used to telling him about mine. I wanted to hear more about him—peel back some layers to truly know him. The details I learned a couple of days ago already showed he was beyond interesting, and I couldn't help but crave more.

There was a great paused, it silent on the other end of the phone. My eyebrows furrowed as I thought over my words, unable to find anything to cause him not to speak. Thinking over it again, I wondered if he was ever asked this. After all, he had lived with the same people for decades, one seeing the future and another able to read minds. It wasn't as if there had been a reason to ask. Now, he spent time with the same people each day, leaving them no reason to ask either.

"Nothing out of the ordinary," he eventually responded, an odd edge to his voice. "Well, I did manage to get Charlotte to try my version of hunting for the first time yesterday," he chuckled, clearly grinning although I was unable to see.

"How did that go?"

"Not very well. A bear ended up tearing the sleeve off her shirt, which ended up aggravating her. Not to mention she couldn't stand the taste—all while Peter was standing there laughing," he snickered.

I couldn't help but laugh, trying my hardest to imagine such a scene in my head. It was hard, not knowing what Peter and Charlotte looked like, but not impossible. Another thing I noticed, like before, was the fact that he talked so casually about the life of a vampire. I remembered how he reacted when I merely asked if I could see him hunt. He never described it, never even tried to graze over the topic. I had to nearly pry what he liked to hunt best from him, it rougher than pulling teeth. I could still hear the reluctance in his voice as he slowly said 'mountain lion.' With Jasper, it was as easy as breathing, not a thing hidden.

"I take it she's not up for switching her diet," I joked.

"No, and neither is Peter. I couldn't even get him to try it out," he snorted.

Nibbling on my lip, I thought over my question before I finally decided to ask it. "What made you decide you wanted to hunt animals instead?"

"My answer may sound a bit crude, but I suppose the truth is better," he chuckled halfheartedly. "You know how I can feel emotions and alter them as I please. Well... imagine, having the dire need for something, but it costing a life. On top of what guilt you may feel in taking that life away, you also have to feel what they do in their last moments. The shock, the pain, the horror, the anguish. Feel every last drop of hope fade away, along with the remorse. Every. Single. Time."

His voice grew deeper the more he spoke, old memories more than likely flashing through his mind. "As you can well imagine during the years that passed by, I wasn't good company in the slightest. I would put off hunting as long as I could manage until I could no longer take it. Life was hardly bearable while feeling those emotions constantly until I found there was another way. One to avoid all of that."

It felt like snapping out of a dream as his words halted, the picture he drew fading away. I could hardly imagine feeling a person's last emotions. Difficult ones, that I had caused. "That hardly sounds crude," I scoffed, shaking my head. In fact, it was perfectly reasonable.

He laughed, the haunted edge to his voice disappearing. "You are somethin', Bella," he chuckled softly.

"Well tell me what a reasonable answer would be," I continued, pursing my lips.

"Carlisle's reason seems a lot better than mine, wouldn't you think? Just because he didn't want to harm a soul, he chose to not do it. My reason was to no longer feel those emotions every time. To be honest with you, if things had been different... If I didn't feel other's emotions, I more than likely wouldn't be the way I am now," he sighed, his voice tight. "Of course, if I lost the ability now, I wouldn't go back to it. After all these years, I have seen the value of it."

I let out a huff of air, shaking my head. "Frankly, I don't really think the reason behind changing should be weighed depending on how noble it was. The fact is that you had enough within you to do it," I shrugged.

"Whatever you say," he chuckled, as I cracked a small grin. "Now how about you tell me something about you? I've told you plenty of my history, yet I barely know any of yours."

My nose shriveled as I grimaced. "I'm not that interesting of a person," I mumbled. It was hard to think of anything that would be entertaining enough to listen to.

"I can already tell you that's not true," Jasper irritably sighed as I tried to think of something—anything to tell. "Why have you always done that?" he cut in, interrupting my thoughts.

My eyebrows furrowed. "Done what?"

He let out a gust of air that mimicked a growl. "Put yourself down in such a way. Ever since we met, all I have felt from you was the strongest sense of self-consciousness and lack of worth. I've never understood it, not to mention I already told you once that you were wrong. Even without feeling your emotions you still make it clear what you think about yourself."

My cheeks flushed, a wave of embarrassment washing through me. "What do you want me to say, Jasper? My life has been completely dull until I met you guys—that being the only spark of interest. I grew up with my mother, Renee, and Charlie until they separated. I ended up staying with Renee in Phoenix, visiting Charlie during the summer. Last year I decided to live with Charlie so Renee could travel with Phil—to not be a burden.

I've never had any real hobbies, besides reading, or anything I was good at. I was decent at school, not the best, not the worst. I'm too clumsy for any type of sports or activities. That's about it when it comes to me—I don't see anything of interest," I snapped.

My scowl grew as I heard him chuckle on the other end of the phone. "You grazed the surface," he corrected. "I'll tell you something, I have met a lot of people in my lifetime. Not as many humans, I'll admit, but I have talked with plenty. I have never spoken with one who thought like you, for starters."

Squinting, I remembered when he had said something similar. Something must be wrong with my mind. "Just because I don't think like everyone else doesn't make me intriguing."

"It makes you different. My point is, your pain these past months will not go away until you find worth in yourself. It is almost like you used him as a crutch to hold yourself up, Bella. Like without him, there is nothing, which isn't true. You can't go about life living through someone else."

I was silent for a moment, thinking over his words. "I didn't realize you were a therapist, Jasper," I humorlessly laughed, shaking my head.

"Well, I've been told I'm good with emotions." I could almost see his smirk, and I couldn't help but smile.

Looking down at my phone at the time, I was stunned to see how long I had been talking to Jasper. Not to mention I told Jake I'd be over right after school. Letting out a sigh, I realized just how unready I was to get off the phone. Both he and Jacob had helped to numb the pain, but I had to admit, Jasper made me nearly forget about the hole in my chest. Still, I had made a promise.

"I have to get going, Jasper, I told Jacob I would help him work on the bikes today," I sighed, pursing my lips.

"Alright, Bella. Remember what I said," he strictly added, although his tone held an amused edge.

Cracking a grin, I nodded. "I will. I'll call you tomorrow," I couldn't help but add.

"Talk to you then," he replied, his southern drawl popping out a bit before he hung up.

Smiling, I looked up at the house I was still parked in front of. Coming here, the sight of it brought nothing but pain. Focusing strictly on Jasper's words, it allowed me to twist my keys, my truck's loud rumble filling the air as I backed away.

I drove off without a backward glance.


Hey, everyone! It was asked in one of the previous reviews if there would be any chapters in Jasper's point of view. Honestly, I'm not sure yet, but perhaps there will be later on!

Hope everyone enjoyed, and please review if you'd like more!