A/N: This is a combination of teh Bad Fanfiction Generator and my own work. Totally ridiculous. It's a good thing I don't take myself too seriously!


I Saw Darth Vader Kissing Santa Claus

Obi-Wan Kenobi woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one sparkly box that looked like a X-Wing fighter.

Then Obi-Wan Kenobi noticed that Darth Vader was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

Obi-Wan Kenobi thought that he would surprise Darth Vader. Maybe even sneak up behind him and fornicate with him. That always made Darth Vader feel erotic.

Obi-Wan Kenobi crept down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its ridiculous lights, and the presents in a heap, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Darth Vader. Kissing someone.

Obi-Wan Kenobi was so angry, he picked up a control panel from a table and threw it at the lovebirds.

They both looked around.

"Darth Vader, you foul Ewok!" Obi-Wan Kenobi yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Obi-Wan Kenobi looked and then rubbed his eyes and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Darth Vader said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a beautiful kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Obi-Wan Kenobi said appropriately. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be slutty."

That seemed reasonable. Obi-Wan Kenobi went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever. He made Obi-Wan Kenobi's vagina feel all gay.

"You see?" Darth Vader said stupidly and Obi-Wan Kenobi saw. So they made the beast with three backs.

Everybody's presents were late.