THE DOCTOR and ROSE re-enter.

ROSE: You did it again!

THE DOCTOR: I'm sorry! I warned you that I'm overly emotional now. I just need some support.

ROSE: And I need to not be killed by an evil TV set!

THE DOCTOR: That's a valid need. But look, Rose, you have to trust that I'll always be able to protect you.

ROSE: Why should I?

THE DOCTOR: Well, because I'm the Doctor. I'm the most powerful being in the universe.

THE BEAST: (rumbling voice offstage) I beg to differ!

THE DOCTOR:Who said that?

THE BEAST: I did.

ROSE: Doctor, I'm scared.

THE DOCTOR: And who are you?

THE BEAST: I am the Beast.

THE DOCTOR: Okay, you're the Beast. And do you have some kind of problem with me?

THE BEAST: You say that you are the most powerful being in the universe. But you are nothing compared to me!

ROSE: Doctor, when he says "the Beast," is he talking about, you know, the devil?

THE DOCTOR: Don't be silly, Rose. The devil is just an idea.

THE BEAST: I warn you, Doctor, do not put me to the test!

THE DOCTOR: Hey, guess what, Rose? I think I'm going to put him to the test. All right, Beast, do your worst!

ABZORBALOFF enters.

ABZORBALOFF: I am the Abzorbaloff-!

THE DOCTOR: No, no, no, no! My punishment must not be that severe!

ROSE: What's wrong, Doctor?

THE DOCTOR: I mean, just look at that thing! That's easily the worst monster I've ever had to fight. Easily.

ABZORBALOFF: Worst as in most evil?

THE DOCTOR:Most evil-! You're, what, a big green monster that-

ABZORBALOFF: That absorbs people!

THE DOCTOR: That absorbs people. That's like something a nine-year-old would come up with! I can't work like this. I'm sorry. I'm not going to do it.

ABZORBALOFF: Are you refusing to fight me?

THE DOCTOR: Yes. Dare I say it? They've finally come up with a monster that is too cheesy and low-budget for Doctor Who.

ABZORBALOFF: But it was my life's dream to be on Doctor Who.

THE DOCTOR: Well, dreams die, Abzorbaloff. Get out.

ABZORBALOFF: I will have my revenge!

THE DOCTOR: Out!

ABZORBALOFF exits.

ROSE: Doctor, don't you think that was a little harsh?

THE DOCTOR: Harsh-? Rose, we have standards around here.

ROSE: Standards? Doctor, your archenemies are salt shakers with plungers and whisks for arms. What's next? A creepy kid who makes people disappear?

THE DOCTOR: Oh, silly Rose. That's a Twilight Zone episode.

POLICEMAN enters.

POLICEMAN: It's horrible! Children disappearing! Everyone's in a panic!

THE DOCTOR: Hey, look! My next adventure. Do you have any leads on this?

POLICEMAN: Well, some people think it's this creepy girl who just moved in. But that would be way too cheesy!

THE DOCTOR: (to ROSE) Not a word.

POLICEMAN: Well, I'm off to do some more investigating. Best of luck.

POLICEMAN exits.

THE DOCTOR: You knew this was going to happen.

ROSE: You're not the only one with inexplicable knowledge, Doctor.

THE DOCTOR: Okay, if you know so much, then how do we fix this?

ROSE: We don't have to do anything.

THE DOCTOR: Are you sure?

ROSE: Positive.

THE DOCTOR: Okay, well, let's go, then.

ROSE: Uh, Doctor?

THE DOCTOR: Yeah?

ROSE: You did carry the torch at the opening ceremony of the Olympics this year, didn't you?

THE DOCTOR: Uh...I have to get to the TARDIS.

THE DOCTOR dashes off.

ROSE: You know, the Doctor may be a little...off these days, but I still...love him. I hope nothing bad happens to separate us forever.

ABZORBALOFF enters.

ABZORBALOFF: Yes! Now I will have my revenge on the Doctor...by killing his companion!

ABSORBALOFF tackles ROSE offstage as she screams.

THE DOCTOR enters.

THE DOCTOR: Hey, I took care of the torch, Rose! Oh, you should have seen the look on Matt Smith's face...Rose? Rose! She's gone! I never told her, never got the chance to say how much she meant to me...And now I'm alone, once again...All alone in this wide universe...Oh, how will I face the endless, crushing boredom of eternity?

DONNA enters.

DONNA: Oy! Spaceman!

THE DOCTOR: Well, there goes my BAFTA.