Hey, guys! I'm back! But before you read, I just want to say thanks to Neon Knightly and Stargazer1364 for reviewing on my last chapter! You guys are awesome! Thanks so much!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but Serenity Diane White, and the plot.

READ ON!

Imprinting & Sick-Singing

It took me the entire morning to figure out why I was so sick.

You remember how I was waiting in the cold rain for Jacob to show up? Well, that's the thing; I was in the rain. I was holding off the change from girl to fish for two hours straight, not to mention how long I was soaked through my clothes, too. Holding off my tail is like holding something essential that your body needs to live. It's like not breathing at all, or like trying to slow your heart beat or stop it all together without dying.

It's a very hard process and not one I should be doing at all. How I held it in for so long, I have no idea. But now, my body was taking a toll; and a very hard one at that. I didn't know how long it would last, but I hoped it wouldn't be long, because I still have school to go to.

Right now, Austin is currently asking his boss to give him some time off, even though I told him I would be fine on my own. He obviously hadn't listened and was right now trying not to scream into the phone. I sighed. I was just a bother, that's probably why he didn't pick me up last night.

With my super hearing, I heard almost imperceptible footsteps climbing the front porch. My brother had barely hung up the phone when the knock on the door caught his attention. I heard him go to the door and open it, growling, "What do you want?" to whoever was on the other side.

"I need to speak to Serenity," a familiar voice said quietly. It was Jacob! Was he here to apologize?

"Well, you should've thought about that before you stood her up on her birthday yesterday," Austin said angrily.

"I know and I'm sorry, but I need to speak with her now, it's important!" Jacob pleaded.

I didn't want to speak to him right now, I was mad at him and still sad that he'd stood me up, but I had to go out there for a different reason; and fast.

I stumbled up and out of bed very unsteadily and immediately fell to the floor with a loud thump. I cried out as I felt my knee crack, but start healing almost immediately. I hadn't meant to let the cry out, but it slipped and I heard Austin whisper to himself, "Not again."

Yep, you guessed it; I've been doing this the entire morning; that's why he was calling his boss for time off. I lurched back to my feet as I felt the nausea return, and I leaped for the door and fell out on the other side, right before I, once again, vomited on the floor. Man, I didn't know I had so much food in me! I usually just dry heaved, but this time, vomit actually came out.

Austin ran up the stairs and held my hair away from my face, murmuring meaningless words in my ear. I coughed as I finished and looked towards the staircase that was not five feet away from me to see a very tall and buff Jacob.

What… the … heck?

Just yesterday, he'd been lanky and short, and now he was buff and tall! And what happened to his hair? It was cropped short now! There was also a tattoo on his arm!

"What happened to you?" I croaked, looking into his eyes. Big mistake.

Once I looked into his eyes, I couldn't look away. I was drowning in his rich, dark brown eyes. I was staring and I could feel Austin looking back and forth between us, but I couldn't look away. The one who did look away was Jacob.

He looked angry and was shaking slightly. "Nothing happened to me, I grew up. I came to tell you that I can't be friends with you anymore, Serenity. I can't be around you."

"Why not?" I whispered, felling my heart break with every word he said.

"Because, I-I don't want to. And we just can't ok? Get that through your head."

I didn't want to, because if I did, than I would break beyond repair. And I didn't want to be broken; not anymore.

"So that's it then? You're leaving me behind for- what? Where were you last night? You promised you'd meet me at the bench and you never came. I waited there for hours, Jake! Waited there for you. That's why I'm like this," I said. I coughed slightly at the end as if for emphasis.

"I don't want to be friends with you anymore, which is all you need to know. I don't want to have to… deal with you anymore," he grimaced.

"So… I was a burden to you all this time? From when we were kids, to now? You were pretending all those times that you told me you cared about me. I was really just a bother. Pathetic and useless to you, why didn't you tell me that from the start? Why didn't you just save yourself all this wasted time laughing and playing with me, and pretending that you cared? God, I feel so stupid, that I was so blind to this! I should've seen it." I told him, tears that I refused to shed burning my eyes.

He didn't answer me, and I didn't want him to; I was the one talking now.

"I can't believe I didn't see it. And to think, I actually thought you really cared! What a stupid mistake. Why did you do this to me, Jake? Was it just you? Or was it Quil and Embry, too? Never mind, I don't care anymore! But what hurts the most, Jacob, is that you waited 17 years to tell me something that I probably would've understood. It hurts to think that every shared laugh, every shared smile, endearment… everything was a lie. And I fell for it; hard. You know what, Jacob, get out. Get out now, I can't bear to look at you. And before you leave, I want to know one thing; where were you last night?"

I looked up at him, despite what I said, and saw his face. He looked torn. Good.

"…With Bella," he said softly.

"Bella, as in Bella Swan, Bella?"

Jacob nodded.

That was the last straw. The tears flowed out like a broken dam, and I turned my head to hide them, ashamed of showing weakness to the one who probably wanted to see it.

"Get out, Jacob. Get out, now. I—," I couldn't finish my sentence. My throat was so tight and hot, that I couldn't speak.

I saw his feet turn away and go down the stairs. My heart was shattering into a million pieces and I couldn't stop it. I sobbed into Austin's shoulder as he picked me up and helped me into my room. I could feel myself going numb and almost welcomed it, but I pushed it away by reminding myself of the times Jacob, Quil, Embry and I had all spent together; back when all I believed in was a lie.

Flashback~

"Where are you, guys? I haven't given up, yet!" I shouted into the woods, where we were playing hide and seek.

I saw Quil's arm poking out from behind a tree and grabbed it, making him jump and let out a whine.

"You always find me first!" he complained. I shrugged and pointed towards a bush where I saw Jacob's sneaker poking out.

I pounced on it and grabbed his leg before he could run away. He laughed and I laughed with him, Quil joining us on the ground. I heard a branch crack and Embry fell out of the tree we were underneath, landing beside me and Jake. We all laughed harder at that and had tears coming out of our eyes.

I leaned back and collected handfuls of fallen leaves, then threw them into the air, making them rain around us. The sun streamed through the tree tops and we watched the colors contrast with the leaves and dirt. We all looked at each other again and burst into laughter, just because we wanted to.

End of Flashback~

That day had started and ended perfectly. But now that I knew it was all a lie, it haunted me like a bad dream. I had to do something. I vaguely remembered Austin telling me that he hadn't been able to get time off, so he had to go to work. I had the house to myself.

Along with many knives, my room also had musical instruments. Especially guitars, both acoustic and electric. Right now, I chose one of my favorites, a black and white one with silver paint splatters. I tuned it and started to strum it and sing a song that kind of suited my situation regarding the numbness that was on the edges of my mind, like an eagle, ready to swoop down on their prey. The song was called "Pain" by, of course, Three Days Grace.

"Pain, without love

Pain, can't get enough,

Pain, I like it rough,

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all"

I played a short guitar solo, unaware that someone was watching as well as listening to me sing.

"You're sick,

Of feeling numb;

You're not

The only one;

I'll take

You by the hand,

And I'll show you a world that you can understand;

This life,

Is filled with hurt,

When happiness,

Doesn't work;

Trust me,

And take my hand,

When the lights go out,

You'll understand…

(Chorus)

Pain! (Pain!)

Without love,

Pain! (Pain!)

I can't get enough,

Pain! (Pain!)

I like it rough,

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all… (2 xs)

(End Chorus)

Anger, and agony,

Are better, than misery,

Trust me,

I've got a plan,

When the lights go off,

You'll understand…

(Chorus 2xs)

I know, that you're wounded,

You know, you know, that I'm here to save you,

You know, you know, I always here for you,

I know, I know, that you'll thank me later…"

Right now, I was slowly sinking to my knees, feeling the weight of it all, but still singing the song.

"Pain, without love,

Pain, can't get enough

Pain, I like it rough,

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all…

Pain! Without love,

Pain! Can't get enough,

Pain! I like it rough,

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all,

Rather feel pain than nothing at all,

Rather! Feel! PAIN!"

When I struck the last cord, I completely collapsed on the floor. I set aside my guitar, and mourned, mourned for the betrayal, mourned for the pieces of my shattered heart.

0000000

It took about two weeks to regain the strength I lost in the strain of holding off the fish-change. And even then I was still weak. I could just barely dress myself. I wondered how I'd carry my book bag around school for the next 3 week of school until we go on our 3 month break.

As I carefully stepped down the stairs in a gray sweater and black jeans with my convers, I heard Austin talking on the phone with, who I assumed was the principle of our school.

"Can you please ask her teachers not to make her do too much? …Like, don't make her walk across the room too much, and also, can you please excuse her from P.E, as well? …Because she's too weak to do anything that requires more than a little effort. …Yes, thank you very much, Mr. Mendoza. I appreciate it very much."

I walked slowly to the kitchen, for it still hurt to move too much.

Austin and dad looked up at me as I entered the kitchen, and I slowly sank into a chair, wincing as I touched the chair with my sore muscles. They both looked away quickly, but not before I caught the angry and sad look on their faces. I knew why they looked like that, though.

Before I came down to eat, I had looked at myself in the mirror and barely recognized myself. My normally tan skin looked sallow and sickly pale, I had dark circles under my eyes, and I looked extremely exhausted, like I hadn't slept at all in the two weeks I'd supposedly been resting. And I had been; but it took longer to regain strength without the full moon.

My hair had lost some of its shine, it looked thinner, and I was getting split ends, which was something I never got. Ever.

"Morning, guys," I croaked. Oh, and did I mention that my voice sounded like a chain smoker's? Pathetic!

Austin looked up, trying not to look alarmed like he did whenever he heard my voice. "Morning, baby girl. How are you feeling?"

"Good, still weak, though. And I don't feel hungry; not right now." I turned away as he looked at me, concern filling his face. Along with my appearance taking a toll, so was my metabolism. And my body, inside and out. I was way thinner now, thin enough for you to see my ribs if you lifted my shirt. Covered by the shirt, it only looked like I had lost weight.

I also hardly ever ate anymore. I only ate once a day, at dinner time, and mostly picked at my plate of food, not really wanting to eat any of it. I had loss of appetite, major weight loss, major complexion problems, and it all added up into one giant health problem: depression.

I hated even to think about it. I didn't want to be so weak, falling into depression over one boy. But I couldn't get out of it no matter what I did.

"Okay, well I'm not going to force you to eat, but take something with you, just in case. I'm going to be dropping you off at school, too by the way." Austin got up, grabbing both the keys of my truck, and my book bag.

I nodded at him and croaked, "Bye dad, see you after school."

He came up to me, and kissed my forehead softer than a moth's wings. "Bye, baby. Call either me or Austin, if you need something, ok?" I nodded at him and smiled a bit uncertainly.

I walked out the door with Austin, and to the truck, opening the door and climbing into the passenger side. Austin got in his seat and started the truck, easing it out of the drive way.

The ride to school was silent, except for the rumble of the truck's engine. As Austin pulled into a parking space at school, people were already either coming toward us, or talking and pointing. Most of them had relieved smiles on their faces, glad that I wasn't dead. Some just looked curiously at us and the large crowd gathering around the truck.

Austin turned off the engine and turned in his seat to face me. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to, you know."

"I know," I said nothing more than that, and his mouth quirked up on one side in a wry half smile.

"Gosh, you just never back down, do you?" he shook his head and chuckled lightly.

"Have a good day, baby girl," Austin hugged me tightly, forgetting momentarily about my sore muscles, and I hugged him back feebly.

"I'll try," I rasped.

I grabbed my book bag with weak hands and turned to open the door. When I couldn't, Austin reached over and opened it for me. We both got out and were quickly surrounded by the mob of students. We made our way to each other from around the car, and he gave me a hug, gentler than the last.

He started to walk away, to walk home. I vaguely remember him saying something about needing more exercise; I hadn't believed it at the time, because he had some pretty thick biceps.

I walked gingerly towards the office, surrounded by the giant mob that was asking me a ton of questions, one of them in particular catching my attention:

"Do you have cancer, or something?"

I turned in the direction that the question had come from and said, "No, I do not have cancer, so if you can all give me some space to get into the office, I'd really appreciate it."

Some people looked sympathetic when they heard my voice, while others looked either horrified or disgusted. Well, screw what people think; Gosh only knows that they hardly do it at all.

I attempted to pull the office door open, but couldn't manage it. I rasped, "Can someone please help me open the door?"

Some random girl which I had never seen before opened it for me, and with a smile, I walked in and to the front desk. Ten minutes later, I had my excuse note, in case my teachers hadn't gotten the e-mail from the principle, and was walking to my first period class. When I walked in, the teacher took one look at me, and instantly put on a pity face.

"Welcome back, Serenity. Please take your seat so we can start the lecture," Mr. Barnes said. Mr. Barnes was only a few inches taller than me, and had a slight southern accent. He liked to wear dark colors and rarely wore any bright ones, unless it's our school's 'Spirit Week'.

I did as I was asked and tried not to wince as I sat down a little too heavily in my seat. I heard a gasp to my left a row over, and turned to see who it had been. I should've known.

Jacob Black was staring at me in gape mouthed horror, assessing how I looked; my complexion, my state, my sallow skin, and the light sheen of sweat that had appeared from exerting the effort of walking to the office, walking through two long halls to get to this class room, and sit down. I know, pathetic, isn't it?

I narrowed my eyes at him, and turned my attention to the board, where Mr. Barnes was talking about the religion of Islam, and some other stuff. I fiercely tried to keep myself focused on Mr. Barnes's lecture, but it was difficult. I could feel his gaze on me as if it were burning a hole through my head.

I was very relieved and triumphant when the dismissal bell rang. I had successfully kept my eyes on the board and not at all on Jacob. Mental high-five!

When I went to my locker, however, my elation came up short. I had all of my classes with Jacob. And in some of them I sat right next to him. In art, my favorite class besides music, I sat between all three of them. I remembered with a little sadness that it was because I sat between them that it was my favorite. Well, other than the fact that it was also an easy A+.

Oh well, I thought. You can deal, right?

I surely hoped so.

And I did deal with it. I kept my eyes averted from Quil, Embry, and Jacob whenever we walked in the halls, whenever I had a class with them, and I especially did when we were at lunch. I sat with my (girl) friends, which I hadn't seen since my birthday, when they'd surprised me with a charm bracelet as a present. I was wearing that same bracelet when I sat with them at the table.

"Aren't you going to eat anything?" Brianne asked me. She was a skinny and tan brunette, who had given me the seashell charm on my bracelet. They all had given me a charm to represent them, and when they all explained why, we all had a laughing fit right there in the hall way, with tears and everything.

"No, I'm not hungry," I shook my head. It was the truth; I hadn't worked up an appetite, not at all. Their faces all filled in concern.

"But didn't you say that you haven't eaten at all today? It's 12 pm already and you mean to say that you're not even slightly hungry? Not even remotely?" Addison asked me from across the table. She was a slender blonde, who had given me a rose because of her green thumb.

I shook my head. They all sighed, well, all three of them. "Don't worry, it's not like I'm going to die from not eating in 5 little hours. I think I'm just going to go and wait for you guys by my locker, ok?" I stood up when they nodded and carefully walked to my locker, out of the cafeteria.

No one was in the hallway when I walked through it. Or so I thought. Halfway through the walk to my locker, someone grabbed me by the arm and pulled me into an empty and unused classroom.

I recognized the room as the old science class room that our old science teacher used to have before she moved away. It was dusty and old looking, but still in good condition. The grip that had me was hot and firm; too firm. I let out a strangled cry of pain and tried to wrench my arm out of the person's grip, but they held on.

I spun to look at the person and start shouting—or, rather, croak—but I the words caught in my throat when I saw who it was. Oh, I was definitely going to do some shouting soon.

"Hey," Jacob said. Hey? Hey? That was all he had to say for completely destroying me? HEY? Well, he had another thing coming!

"What do you want?" my voice was even hoarser than before, and I was thankful for that; make him feel bad for hurting me.

"Listen, I know what I told you was bad and that it hurt you—," I cut him off.

"Bad? Hurt me? Oh please, don't try to de-guilt yourself, when you very well know that it was much worse than that. Bad? It was horrible. Hurt me? It tore me apart. And yet you have the nerve to try to down play it? To show up at school and try to talk to me, convince yourself that you didn't do a lot of damage? What do you want now, Jacob? What do you want from me? Haven't you already done enough?"

His face slacked at my words. "O-ok, well, I guess that isn't the best choice of words, but I just wanted to tell you; I noticed that you didn't eat. Can you please eat something? I don't want to see—,"

"What do you care? Is it any of your business what I do or don't do?" I asked him.

"Well no, but—," Jacob stopped abruptly. "Look, I'm sorry, ok? I know you're mad at me, but that's no excuse for you to starve yourself."

I widened my eyes in incredulous anger. He did not just make this about him.

"This has nothing to do with you! I'm just not hungry, ok? In case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly in the prime of my health," I told him. I put a hand to my now stinging throat; note to self: don't yell from now on.

"Then why aren't you eating? I heard that you haven't eaten all day; you have to be at least a little hungry," he argued.

"No." I set my angry gaze on him. I squared my shoulders and walked toward the door, but Jacob snatched at my arm. The sleeve of my sweater had gone up and exposed my skin. Where his nails touched my skin, there were cuts which were bleeding, the blood running down my arm at an alarmingly fast rate.

I gasped at the flash of pain that shot through my arm and tugged uselessly at his grip. He looked down at my arm and looked shocked at what he'd done. He hadn't even applied that much pressure. I went the door, the anger rolling off of me in waves. This time he didn't try to stop me.

I tried to open the door, but I couldn't. I was so pathetically weak and stupid that I couldn't even open a door. I let out a breath/ scream of frustration and slumped down to the floor, hurting myself hugely in the process.

He came over and was about to touch my shoulder, when I stopped him. "Don't," I told him through gritted teeth. Jacob sighed and sat across from me on the floor.

"I have something to tell you, Renity," he started.

I chuckled darkly. "So it's Renity now? Not Serenity?"

He frowned but said nothing.

"Thought so."

"Can you let me finish? I'm trying to tell you something. I wanted to ask you a favor."

"A favor? Are you kidding me? Why should I? You don't deserve it; all you did was lie to me for the past seventeen years of my life, and for what? What did you hope to gain from this Jacob? What could you have possibly gotten from this? The satisfaction that you succeeded in hurting me? In getting me to believe you?"

"No! All those things I said, I didn't mean them! If you would just listen, I can explain," he said.

"I don't want your explanations. What is this favor that you want, anyway?"

"Will you tell Bella that I'm ok and to not worry about me? She's really worried and—" I interrupted him—again.

"Do I look like I give a shiz about Bella? What do you take me for Jacob? A fool? You're a jerk you know that? If you don't want her worrying, say it to her face and leave me the hell out of it."

"Fine, you don't wanna help me, then just go. I'll tell her myself."

I was suddenly seeing red. I was filled to the brim in boiling, raw rage and I could tell that if I didn't control it, I was going to regret it.

"Open the door."

He looked at me quizzically; he obviously wasn't expecting me to say that. He got up and did what I told him. The hall way was filling up with people now. I left the room and went to go vent out my feelings in a closet that was way brighter than what his words meant.