Thank you once again everyone…it means the world to me.

(I do not own InuYasha….it would be nice if I did…then I could stare at Sesshomaru whenever I wanted)

-Beast Speaking-

-Jewel Speaking-

Chapter 4:

Where do I go from here?

InuYasha walked slowly, allowing his eyes to travel to the ground his thoughts still lingering on his meeting with Kikyo. She looked so sad…it scared him. She was such a strong person that seeing her in sadness hurt him. It was almost like her soul was crying out, wailing in pain. He couldn't let her continue to feel that way. It was his job as the man…umm hanbun akuma* to see to his love's needs and wants. But could he really do as she asked. He was so confused…nothing made sense at the moment. He was so lost in his thoughts he didn't realize he had wondered into the camp. Nor did he notice that his pack was no longer where he left them.


Silence had over taken the make-shift camp, where the pack where sitting. No one knew what to say or what to do. It was clear to them that Kagome was not only in emotional pain but physical as well. However, no one made a move to bandage Kagome's fists believing that It make her pain even stronger. After all didn't InuYasha call her a weak human? They couldn't let her think that they thought the same

Miroku looked at Kagome and rubbed his chin in thought. He needed to make her smile again. She was the light in the darkness of this world and everyone needed her. How to make her shine once more? He thought back to everything he had seen between her and InuYasha… the belittlement, the anger, and the resentment. It was hard not to be angry at the brash inu-hanbun akuma. It made him wonder… how could Kagome have fallen in love with someone like InuYasha? How had she put up with him so long? It boggled his mind.

Sango too was thinking about Kagome and InuYasha. She may not have known them as long as Miroku or Shippo had but that didn't mean she didn't see what they did. Kagome put up with so much and not just from InuYasha. This young lady was only sixteen…and yet she lived two lives, one as the Shikon Miko and the other as a normal teenage girl. Living in two different worlds. It couldn't be easy and yet Kagome rose to the challenge and overcame all that had been thrown at her. But what could she do for Kagome?

Shippo looked at his mama and took in a shuddering breath. He didn't know how to help her. He had never been in love and didn't know what it felt like to lose the person you love to someone else. After all he was only a kitsune. What did he honestly know about human emotions? Where they different from a demon's? Or where they the same? He wanted to help… but how could he help her?

Kagome stared into the small fire. After telling them all that she had heard and seen, she was feeling numb. She could no longer feel her broken heart or the blood falling down her wrist and to the ground. She knew that if she didn't cover her wounds demons would come looking for the source of miko blood and then they would find the jewel shards. But, she couldn't bring herself to push past the numbness that had taken over. It was better than the pain that she had felt moments before. She knew that she would only be numb for so long before the pain would return and she didn't want to hold her friends back. It wasn't right. How could she make everyone happy? And maybe after she had done that, the Kami's would let her have a sliver of happiness.

Shippo couldn't take it anymore…the silence was too much. He looked around him and came to the realization that no one would was going to speak, so it was up to him. "Mama, what do you want to do now? I'm behind you no matter what you choose."

While startled by Shippo's voice, Kagome didn't look away from the fire. What did she want to do? That was a loaded question… she would love nothing more than going home and snuggle into her mother's arms… forgetting all about her duty to find the shards and putting the Shikon no tama back together. As quickly as that thought crossed her mind, she discarded it. She would hate herself for the rest of her life if she did that. She refused to abandon the friends and family that she made here. She could also imagine the disappointment that would cover her mother's normal cheerful face if she were to that. So, what choice did she have but to continue in the duty that was set before her? Could she travel with InuYasha and act like nothing had happened? The answer was simple…no she couldn't.,

Watching all the emotions flash across Kagome's face, Shippo couldn't help but feel his anger rise once more. This was because of that stupid mutt. He didn't think of anyone, but himself. That arrogant jerk! Quietly grumbling to himself, he kept staring at his mama. Trying to read everything that crossed her face, waiting for her to reply to his question. Should he make a suggestion? Did he have a suggestion? This was all too much for him. Was there nothing that he could do? Gently he reached up and placed his hand on her chest right above her heart and said "What does your heart tell you to do?"

Kagome was stunned. Her son was telling her to trust her heart when it is what led her to this. Did she dare to risk her heart once more? Would her heart make another mistake? She quickly got lost in her thoughts once more looking for a solution to this seemly unsolvable issue. What did she want? Where did she go from here? It was a hard question to answer. She opened her mouth to speak and was shocked by what came out of it… "I want to be stronger. I don't want to have to rely on him anymore."

To say that Miroku and Sango where surprised would have been an understatement. Kagome never had any drive to improve her miko powers or even her fighting skills. She usually relied on her stubbornness, guts and luck. She never truly used her powers unless she couldn't use anything else. Don't get them wrong Kagome was an amazing person, she had survived more than any other person would. But, most of that was due to her caring and hopeful nature. Not on actual skill. Could they hold her back? Could they stop her from carving a new path for herself?


After word:

Hanbun akuma* half-demon

Inu* dog

Shinidamachū* soul collectors

Kitsune* fox