Chap. 4: Forgiveness

Lelouch sighed. He was exhausted, and cold with sweat. He never thought he'd have to do this much… He'd always had Sayoko- or someone else in the Zero suit- pretend to be him and do the fighting! Gym was his worst subject.

"Come on, Lelouch-san! You can do it!" Yami said, her bokken held out in front of her, ready to continue. Lelouch eyed her.

"No. You can. I can't. Don't you think if I could, I wouldn't be getting my butt kicked by a little squirt like you?"

Yami giggled. "Oh come on. You just need to practice. If you don't, you won't get used to it."

Lelouch just continued to eye her.

"Huh… one more time. Just one more go, and then you can stop, okay?"

Lelouch gave in. He knew that was as far as she would go. If he didn't except, he knew she'd get their instructor to have him demonstrate the lesson for the day. She could be real devious when she wanted.

He stood up with a huff, picking up his bokken as well.

"You're a little brat, you know that?" he said with a slight laugh.

"Yup! And proud of it!" she giggled, and then sobered. "Now, take your stance- no, no, that's too wide. I could easily trip you with the first hit."

And so, for an hour, Lelouch attempted to ward off her attacks. For such a small girl, she knew how to fight, and was freaky strong!

Throughout the whole thing, she told him what he did wrong and what he should have done. She also didn't miss the chances to tell him what he did right, so he could put it away in his mind to remember.

But, the inevitable happened and he once again found himself on his butt, heaving for air and sweating even more.

"Alright. I guess that's it for now." Yami said with a sigh.

Lelouch managed to push himself to his knees. "Thank god…. I'm dying…"

Yami just laughed and helped him to his feet. "Well, you are getting better. I think your real problem is your stamina."

Lelouch had a sudden dreaded feeling.

"From now on, I want you to run every morning before breakfast. Then, you are going to run the whole way to the Academy. If you have to pause somewhere, you run in place."

Lelouch nearly fainted.

"Oh, no, we'll have none for that thank you very much." Yami said, slapping him slightly on the cheek.

"Ugh… Come on, Yami. Do I really need to go through all of that?" Lelouch tried.

She eyed him, and then seemed to come to a decision "Alright. You'll only do it for half the week. But, if you slack off, you'll do it the whole week. Starting Wednesday, you will run, and then your break starts on Sunday."

"Four days of running?!"

"Yes. You need to get into shape."

They walked into their rooms. They'd been down in the practice rooms the dorms had.

Lelouch fell unceremoniously across the couch. His right hand flopped down in front of his face and he saw the small scares of Yami's claw marks there. It brought back the memory of the infirmary.

Once he'd come to, he'd just stared in shock at Uphy. She'd already healed his hand and was working on some other Soul Reaper, so he'd been unable to talk to her.

He still hadn't been able to talk to her, as she was always busy, or he was always busy. He had so many things to say to her. Namely, apologizing for the horrible death she had. Not only was it him- her brother- that had shot her, but he'd- accidentally or not- made her go on a killing spree of all the Japanese.

He recalled the look of horror on her face as she'd tried in vain to resist the Geass.

He wanted to see her again, tell her that he was sorry.

He sneered bitterly. "Sorry" wasn't at all going to sum up how horrible he felt. And he was afraid she'd never forgive him. He wondered if it were better for her to just never see him again.

"You're thinking about her again." Yami said, looking at him thoughtfully.

"Hum?" he said, dragged out of his thinking.

"Miss Yuffy. Every time you think about her, you get this bitter look on your face."

"Am I really that easy to read?" Lelouch asked, a bit disturbed by the thought. He didn't like it when people could read him.

"Nee… I just know you so well, Lelouch-san." Yami said, smiling cutely. "So, what do you keep thinking about?" she continued, sitting down on his lap.

He ruffled her hair between the ears, smirking. But the smirk faded as he thought of the answer to her question. "I'm… wanting to apologies for something I did to her…"

The little dog demon girl looked at him expectantly, but in a caring way.

"Huh…. I did something really terrible. It's probably unforgivable." He took a deep breath. He trusted Yami more than anyone in all of Soul Society, but admitting what he'd done…? He'd not even told the Black Knights. C2, of course, already knew, so he hadn't needed to confess anything to her, and he could talk about it fairly well. Not to mention, for the most part at the time, he'd convinced himself that it was for the best, and that it had worked greatly in his favor- it actually had, but in probably the most horrible way he would have liked.

Taking another deep breath, he finally said, "You know how I told you about what I did- who I was- before I died?" Yami nodded, and she couldn't help the glint of excitement in her eye at the stories he'd told her. "Well… There was this big get together, with Britannians and Japanese. Uphy was in charge of it, the one to plan the whole thing, with my mentioning. When I arrived, she wanted talk to me privately. She already knew who I was, so I was able to take off my helmet. We talked for a bit, she saying how glad she was to see me at the event.

"I then got to business. I produced a gun. It was made of bamboo, so the metal detectors didn't pick up on it. I told her to shoot me with it.

"Being who she was, she refused, even after I explained why she should do it. I told she'd not have to kill me, but that it should be done. Still, she'd refused.

"We ended up talking about how everything would be fine after the event, as the Japanese would be given their name back, and they'd be let in to Britannian society freely, and not as slaves.

"My… Geass. It screwed up. I hadn't realized it, and I had been saying that it was good that she was so well hearted, and that she wanted to stop the killing of the Japanese. Right as I was saying 'kill the Japanese,' I'd opened my eyes, unaware of my Geass messing up. I'd looked her right in the eye… and… the Geass took hold of her mind." Lelouch shuddered, and Yami hugged him for comfort. Nodding his thanks, he continued. "She resisted at first, which is as far as I knew, practically impossible. But, as it is inevitable, she was unable to stand against the power.

"She ran from the room, taking the gun. Out on the stage, she announced that she wanted all of the Japanese killed on site, immediately. She sounded… so cheerful, as if she were politely requesting a cup of tea.

"She was the first to shoot, as no one had after she said it, thinking it was some sick joke. After that, all hell broke loose.

"In the end… I shot and killed her." He fell silent, trying to gather himself, and realized he'd been crying. Wiping the tears, he inhaled deeply, and it shuddered as he did. After a few more deep intakes, he gave up on trying to calm his breathing.

"After that, I convinced myself of two things. 1) That it actually help my cause. That was the sadistic part of me, the one that had next to no emotion on the matter, Zero. But the other part of me… Lelouch… I thought I had done her a favor. I don't know if she had any concession thought of what she was doing, but if she did, I was able to put her out of the misery of watching herself shoot and kill the people she was trying to save. And if she didn't… She'd have felt horrible, filled with undying grief at what she'd done for the rest of her life."

Yami didn't say anything. She knew there was nothing to be said. There was no way for her to tell him he'd been in the right, because he'd refuse such a thing- even though it was true. It was not his fault his Geass went haywire.

Instead, she just continued to cuddle him, giving him what support she could through silence, and show that she was there for him.

She didn't realize they'd fallen asleep until Lelouch had shifted in his sleep, waking her up. Rubbing her eyes, she looked at the clock to see that it was about the time for him to get up and do his running.

She shook her head. She'd just have to settle for making him run to the academy. He deserved it, after his break down last night. It was the first time she'd seen him cry, and it had worried her. She'd let him have his rest.

But she couldn't let her father figure just sleep on the couch. She sighed when she realized she was too small to carry him into his bed. So, she just grabbed the blanket and pillow and laid him full length across the couch, covered him up.

She then went to the small desk, and pulled out a map of the area. She marked out where she wanted him to run to get to the academy- he'd be taking no short cuts, unless she deemed it necessary. For the plain run in the mornings, he'd just have to run. It didn't matter if it was on the street, or on the roofs. So long as it was a full three hours of running.

"Hummmm…." She said, thinking that maybe she should make it to where every ten minutes he should switch from roof to street, and back again. She decided against it- for now at least. Once he was in better shape, she'd put that into effect.

Done with this, she pulled out a book on the different bakudos, and practiced saying them, as well as preforming the hand signals.


Lelouch heaved in air as he ran the last stretch to get to the academy.

"All… most… THE-RE!"

He'd made it. Although, now he was face planting the ground- hence the skip in the "there". He made no move to get up, finding the wooden boards to be as cushiony as a feathered bed.

He heard a solid thump right next to his head, and looked with the corner of his eye- still not moving his head- and saw the bear feet of Yami.

"Maybe if I just stay still and lay here, she might think I'm dead…." He thought to himself in a conspiring way.

"Good. You made it." She said, sounding cheerful, and in an evil way.

"Stay still…." He thought cautiously.

"Alright, well, we're going to be late for class, let's go." He could hear the childishly evil grin on her face!

"Don't move, don't move, don't move, don't-"

"OOF!"

He couldn't help it! She'd jumped on him!

Coughing and sputtering, he pushed himself to his feet eyeing her.

"That wasn't very nice, now was it?"

"Hehe…. You died, I had to wake you." She said matter-of-factly.

He shook his head, but couldn't help but grin at her and ruffle her hair.

"You're so evil…."

"Hahaha…. I know." She said smiling brightly. "Now come on. You didn't run all this way to be late, now did you?"


Lelouch sighed as he flopped onto the couch. Once again, he was heaving for air, and was cold with sweat, yet somehow, his muscles were burning up.

"You did better tonight." Yami commented as she walked through the door.

"Yeah, if just blocking means much. And you were still kicking my ass…"

She shrugged as she flopped down next to him. She wasn't even breathing hard.

"Well, it's best to know how to block first. After all, what are you going to do if all you know is how to attack? You just gonna leave you're self open while you lunge? I won't have that. No, you need to know how to block. At least that way, you can protect yourself while looking for a way to get away."

"Huh… Well, I'm hungry now. What do you say? Rice? Maybe some beef stir fry?"

"That sounds good." She said.

Lelouch nodded and got to work on their dinner. Once he was done, they sat down at the table.

"So, have you thought about what squad you'd want to go into?" Yami asked.

"Humm… I guess, if I had to choose, it'd be five. Though, they tend to get into more of the rough stuff. I'm really just wanting to be able to see Nonally."

"Humm… It is a good squad. I hear their pretty fun… of course… that's not what matters… But it is the squad that has Ichigo as the captain.? And Rukia as his lutenit?"

Lelouch nodded. "True. I think it'd be nice to end up in the same squad of the guy that brought me here, as well as brought me to C2. And you? What would you like to go into?"

"That's an easy one. I'd go with you." She said smiling.

He smiled back and finished off his food, taking his bowl to clean it.

"Hummm… I wonder what our zompakto will be able to do…" Yami mused as she brought her empty bowl over to Lelouch.

"I don't know… 'be interesting if mine had the same Geass power I used to have." Lelouch said, sitting back down, Yami following.

"Are you all too certain that you don't have your power now?" she asked, plopping down next to him.

He looked at her. "Well, it'd only make sense. After all, after I died, and was a spirit, I couldn't control anyone- plus, my Geass was not showing, even though it'd shown from the day Yuffy died. It's still not showing. So, I reason that I no longer have the power." He shrugged, as if it didn't matter.

"Humm… I say you should just try it. Maybe you still have it, but you have to look deep to find it. And anyway, people have to be able to see into your eyes to make it work. Well, not everyone could see you when you were just a spirit."

Lelouch nodded. He would admit, it'd be interesting to find that he still had the power, and it would help him greatly.


Another week passed and Lelouch found that he was actually getting better. His fitness was still a bit rough, but he could now manage to run without collapsing when he was finally able to stop.

His skill with the sword was much better. Instead of just blocking Yami, he was able to actually get in a few hits. He'd even managed to end the duel in a tie once.

The only problems he was having where completely sore muscles. He couldn't move without setting off every muscle in pain. There was one in particular that was bothering him more than usual. On the left side of his back, down near at the waist, it wasn't just sore, it was fevered, and he could just swear it was swelling. He hadn't told Yami yet, not wanting her to freak out, as it started up after she had struck a hard blow there.

He was sure that was what caused it, and though he was sure she wouldn't exactly "freak out", he still didn't want to worry her over the fact.

But, as he was sitting there through one of his lectures, he couldn't help but wince as he tried to slowly shift his weight.

Yami was not in this class. It was the first class of the day, and the only class that he didn't have with her. Normally, this bothered him. But today, he felt lucky. He thought he'd slept on that side at some point last night, and now it had an extra ache to it.

Had she been in the same class as him, she'd have noticed right away and would either interrupt the lesson, or for her to keep watching him. Possibly missing the lesson herself.

But, around the middle of the lesson, the sensei noticed his discomfort and distraction.

"Is there something wrong, Lelouch?" he asked crisply.

Caught off guard slightly, he blinked, and then recovered. "Ah, no, sensei. Just my side hurting, is all…"

"Humph… You're barely paying attention to the lesson. Go to the squad 4, and get it taken care of."

"Ah… yes, sir…" he said, getting up, and wincing all the while. Once he got out of the class room, he hobbled down to squad 4, wincing all the why.

But finally, he made it and found someone.

"Oh, right this way sir." Said a slightly timid looking man. He led Lelouch to the main facility.

Once he was seated, he was told to wait till one of the Squad 4 members could have a look at him.

He waited for ten minute, just looking around, a bit bored.

He was just beginning to wonder if maybe Yuffy was there, when a small hand gripped his shoulder, firm, but gental.

He turned and blinked in surprise.

"Yuffy….." he said.

"Lelouch..." she said, finding herself short of words. Then, she found herself asking, "What are you doing here?"

"I… died….?" Lelouch said, still in shock. Yuffy looked just the same as she'd always been. It shouldn't really be a surprise. You look pretty much the way you died, aging very, very slowly. But he had expected to see some sort of difference. What, he didn't know, but he still had expected it.

Perhaps he thought she would have hate in her eyes if she saw him, or a forever haunted look at what she had done.

He heard a ringing giggle.

"No, silly. What are you doing here? At Squad 4? It's obvious how you got to the Sedate."

"O…oh…. Yeah… ah… I got hurt…"

She looked at him in slight exasperation. "Well, I need to see it, don't I? Come on. Let's see what happened this time."

Lelouch, finally getting over his shock, blinked at her, grinning. "What do you mean this time? I've only been here once before!" he said, and showed her his side.

"Ahaha… Yes, but if you recall, you fainted. And got a pretty nasty bump on the head. So, this makes three."

"But I was already here that time. This is still two."

"Nope. You got hurt outside, came here, and then got here. Yes, it is your second time here, but, considering you got the two injuries in two different places, plus this, it counts as three. And it means you're a total klutz."

"Hey! Is that any way to speak to your older brother?"

She only laughed. "Well, I am higher in rank then you. I'm a seat 7 member of this squad. And you're a school boy. Humm… You know. Now that I think about it, I've always been higher in rank then you. Maybe equal with Zero, but higher than Lelouch."

There was a slightly sad, and awkward pause as Yuffy worked on his side.

"So… did you lose….?" Yuffy asked.

"Hum…?" Lelouch said, having been off in thought.

"Did you lose to Britannia…? I mean… I haven't been to he human world in a long time, and not heard much about the war… and… you're here…."

"Oh…" he smiled sadly. "Humph… no. We beat them. Every nation is free again, restored to what they used to be."

"But… did someone kill you…?" Yuffy looked up at him sadly.

He nodded, smiling at the irony of it all. "Yes. And he did a fine job of it too. Suzaku was always good at getting the job done, wasn't he…?"

She gasped. "Lelouch… I'm so sorry…."

"Don't be." Lelouch said.

AN: O.O Oh wow…. How wrong I was. It's been how long since I last put that one up?! It's already summer again! What's wrong with me?! ._.

Anyway… Let's hope I can give you a good chap, to make up for lost time… ^.^