CHAPTER 4

As Christine tied the horse, safely outside the back of the Opera Populaire, she couldn't help but shiver. The resolve she had discovered just minutes before was quickly starting to crumble as she gazed up at the grand Opera House.

"What am I doing?" she scolded herself "What can I possibly expect to gain from this?"

Now, she wasn't entirely sure of what she was going to do. Was she going to ask for the Phantom's approval of her marriage, she couldn't possible expect that. She wasn't even sure if she wanted his approval.

She crept to a nearby lamp and placed her candle on the flame. Instantly, the candle lit, and the flame danced in front of her eyes. Fear seemed to engulf Christine's body as she edged round the building to the front of the Opera House. But instead of going back, like her brain was pleading with her to do, she felt compelled to move forward.

While she felt an enormous amount of guilt over what happened between the Phantom and herself, she also felt angry at him for continuing to torture her mind. She desperately wanted to move on and enjoy her life but he was always there, in her mind. She simply couldn't stop thinking of him and yearning to see him.

"That is why I am here" Christine pushed at the remains of the theatre door and slid through "I need to put these thoughts to rest"

Christine felt sure that, somehow, once she met up with the Phantom again, everything would make sense and she could feel free to get on with her life. Taking a deep breath, she walked further on into the building.

"The grand staircase" Christine stared up at the staircase that she had so often admired when it was filled with light and throngs of happy, excited people. Now, it was completely dark and charred remains of the paintings and woodwork of the room were scattered all around. It was such a sad sight.

Above Christine, way up in the darkness, the Phantom watched with a mixture of elation and anger. He was delighted to see her but what was she doing here? He had told her never to return and he had meant it, for having to watch her leave him again with that ignorant fool, Raoul would tear him apart. Wiping a tear from his eye, the Phantom continued to watch as Christine, slowly paced around in the foyer, surveying the mess around her. He noted that she looked scared. Scared of him? Why? Why? He would never hurt his angel.

"My angel" the Phantom quietly whispered, so as not to be heard. He wasn't sure whether to walk up to her or just leave her alone and try not to be seen. But, she looked so frightened.

"Why does she fear me so?" the Phantom thought aloud

"Who's there?" Christine swung around, pointing her candle everywhere, trying to see any trace of movement "It's C-Christine. I used to sing here. I'm not causing any trouble"

"I know who you are. And so I should, I spent long enough watching you from the shadows,…….imagining your face in the darkness" the Phantom stepped out of the shadows and walked to the top of the staircase and looked down. Although he wanted to rush down and sweep Christine into his arms, he knew that he should try and stay composed. She had chosen Raoul, not him. That was the choice she had made.

"And you are wrong" he slowly walked down the stairs, looking Christine up and down "you being here is causing me great trouble"

Oh god, she was beautiful. Even more beautiful than his mind had allowed him to remember. Also, she must have been somewhere special tonight as she was wearing a magnificent ball dress, quite unsuitable for scrambling around the burnt out remains of the Opera Populaire.

Christine stared at the Phantom, watching him approach her, not knowing what to say. He was standing directly in front of her now. She was suddenly aware of how loud her heart was beating.

"I….I don't know why I came here" she stepped back

You have come here

For one purpose and one alone

The words the Phantom had sung to her two months ago, filled her thoughts and she found it hard to turn away.

"Then please go" the Phantom brushed passed Christine, fighting the urge to hold her.

"Is that what you want?" Christine was more emotional than she ever thought she could be. Did he really want to never see her again?

"What I want is irrelevant" The Phantom snapped through gritted teeth "You made your choice"

"I need to see you" Christine pleaded "Not everything is so black and white. I never wanted to leave you down here"

"Why are you here? Have you come here to look at my ghastly non face to remind yourself that you made the right choice" the Phantom grabbed Christine's arm and pulled her towards the corridor that led to his underground home. "Come on, have a look, its still as repulsive as it always has been"

Christine tore herself from his grasp and fell to the ground. She put her head in her hands as tears rolled down her face. The candle fell by her side.

"Please, don't hurt me"

The Phantom's defences crumbled. Cursing himself for being so weak, he knelt down beside her and lifted her face. Gently, he wiped her tears away with his gloved finger and sighed.

Christine shivered as she could feel the Phantom's breath on her face but this was no shiver from the cold.

"You are shaking" the Phantom looked into her eyes "Why do you fear me so much?"

"I don't fear you" Christine looked back into his eyes "I don't know why I shake. I guess I…I'm cold"

"Come with me" the Phantom rose up and held out his hand "It's not so cold down there"

Reluctantly, she took his hand and shivered at the touch. She knew that she shouldn't really go down there but, she couldn't refuse. As always, she was falling under his spell and she wasn't even sure if she wanted to fight anymore.

"I..I can't see anything" Christine murmured "I dropped my candle"

"Let me be your eyes" the Phantom tugged her hand "Trust me Christine, you did once"

Slowly, they made their way down. The journey seemed to last forever. When they finally arrived at the gondola, the one they had used all those months ago, the first time she had been here, Christine faltered.

"If you want to go back, go now" the Phantom didn't want Christine to feel that she was being forced into going with him.

"I know I should" Christine slowly got into the boat "But that is not what I want to do"

The Phantom stood behind her in the boat and silently, he rowed on to his lair. There just didn't seem to be any words to use to discuss the situation so they remained in silence. After they had disembarked the gondola the Phantom walked round the cavern, lighting more candles. Christine, nervously paced up and down.

"Can I light some?" Christine begged, she had to say something, the silence was becoming unbearable.

Still silent, the Phantom took a candle and gently lifted her hand, as he did so, he saw her engagement ring glisten in the candlelight.

"So he bought you a new one" He put the candle in her hand

"Y-Yes" Christine stammered, thinking that she really ought to have removed it.

"And it looks even more expensive, is that why you are here?" he spat out "You want my congratulations?"

"No" Christine shook her head, "I don't know exactly know why I am here, I just knew that I had to come"

The Phantom walked up close to her and touched her face, looking deep into her eyes, he watched as she breathed in and closed her eyes.

For fear that he was about to kiss her, the Phantom quickly tore his eyes away from hers and sat down.

"If you don't know why you are here, then you can at least sing for me"

Without question, Christine obeyed. As she took a deep breath to sing, she suddenly realised how long it was since she had felt like this. The sheer joy of singing again, rang through her heart. Her inspiration was there, gazing at her and she felt her voice soar.

The Phantom closed his eyes and listened to her song, he smiled with pleasure. His angel was back, he had missed that voice so much.

When she had finished, he opened his eyes and for a moment, Christine could see the sadness in his eyes. Instantly, she felt guilt consume her body and she walked over and touched his face. As a tear formed in her eye, she whispered,

"I never wanted to hurt you Angel, you were my inspiration"

"You can't help who you love Christine" The Phantom sighed "You don't love me, why should you"

"But I do, can you not see that" Christine's eyes were pleading and her body started to shake again "I can't stop thinking of you. Its driving me crazy. As I sleep, your voice fills my dreams, and when I am awake, you haunt my mind still. I just can't shake these thoughts out of my head"

Christine moved away, her body shaking violently. She stood up and wrapped her arms around herself, tears were now streaming down her face.

"I don't know what to do, I can't bear it anymore"

Quickly, the Phantom forgot all about composure and swept Christine into his arms as she wept inconsolably. Gently, he rocked her in his arms.

"You did so much for me, and I just threw it in your face. How can you forgive me" Christine was getting hysterical "Raoul and everyone else is rushing around planning this wedding and you are down here alone, and its all because of me, I just……"

The Phantom could think of nothing to say. It broke his heart to see her like this. As he could see her crying, he felt a stab of pain in his heart and he knew he had to do something, anything to make her stop. As she was sobbing uncontrollably into his arms, he just lifted her head and gently kissed her on the lips. She opened her eyes and looked deeply into his,

"Please….don't" Christine weakly whispered. She could feel a warm sensation pulsing through her body as she moved away from him.

"You are unhappy Christine" the Phantom looked away "Why else would you be here?"

"My mind is exhausted, I am thrown deeper and deeper into confusion every day" Christine combed her hand through her hair "I love Raoul, I really do but, I can't bear to leave you"

To this, the Phantom said nothing, he just strolled over to the curtain by the swan bed and drew it open.

"Christine, you must stay tonight. I won't allow you to go back into the darkness alone"

"I c-couldn't" Christine stammered "I need to go, I should never have come"

As Christine went to move away and leave, the Phantom caught her arm and said firmly

"I won't allow you to leave. You don't need to worry Christine, I shall not touch you. If you wish, I will stay away from you and you can just leave when it gets light"

As if to reassure her, he let go of her arm and moved away. Christine, bit her lip nervously and walked slowly towards him. She put her hands on his shoulders and lifted her head up. To his amazement, she kissed him firmly on the lips for what seemed like an eternity, and stepped back.

"I wish you would believe me when I tell you that, with or without the mask, I can gaze into your eyes and kiss you, just like I did then. I could prove it if you wish"

"You should have done that two months ago" The Phantom regained his composure and furiously pushed her into the bed "You don't know what you are doing or saying. Please, sleep and then leave. Please, if you feel anything for me at all, stop taunting me"

The Phantom strode away and left Christine alone with her thoughts.