"I'm happy you came," Sirius said with a wide grin as he placed a cup of tea in front of me at the kitchen table. He looked handsome and well. The last time I had seen him was a month ago, when he still looked underfed from being on the run. Since then, he had taken up residency in his parent's old home and offered it to Dumbledore as Headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix. His hair was still messy and long, but his beard and mustache were well kept. His navy blue eyes were bright with life. Overall, he looked healthier and happier.
I sighed and thanked him as he moved away to get some bread from the pantry. "I was starting to worry about you and Carrigan."
"Why?" I asked quietly.
"You're my family," he replied, as if I should have known that is why he would worry. "I was wondering when you and Gabriel were going to move out of that house. I was surprised you waited this long."
"We should have left sooner," I admitted. "I don't know what we were waiting for."
Sirius shrugged as he sat down next to me with the plate of bread in one hand, and a plate of butter and a knife in the other. "You were waiting to find a place to stay."
"We should have left the day she was attacked, when Benjamin first showed up."
"You and Gabriel seriously trust that slimy bastard?"
"I trust Carrigan and the Guardianship bond," I whispered before taking another sip of tea. Sirius cut himself a piece of bread and began to butter it as he listened to me. "If Benjamin truly is her Guardian, then she is his first student. Guardians are neutral parties and take on the side of their first student. They are loyal only to their students."
"But what if he isn't really her Guardian?"
"Then it is very possible that I let a Death Eater into our house, close to our daughter and into headquarters," I said matter-of-factly.
Sirius frowned. "Where is she now?"
"Getting situated in her room," I replied as I set the cup of tea down in front of me. Sirius pushed the bread and butter to me. I thanked him as I started to cut a slice of bread for myself and then began to butter it.
"Is Benjamin interested in Carrigan the way Gabriel was interested in you?"
I stopped buttering my bread and looked up at Sirius with a very cold stare.
"Not that I can tell," I replied. "Why does it matter?"
"Because, I don't think Carrigan should be messing around with a guy his age. She's only thirteen."
I laughed lightly. "I don't think that's anything we have to worry about. Carrigan has made it quite clear to me that she is not interested in dating anyone. I'm not quite sure why, but she forced me to put an age restriction on her when she was eleven. She's not allowed to date until she's sixteen."
Sirius smiled. "She's a smart girl."
"I don't know," I frowned. "I'm afraid that the eleven years of her life that I spent icy-hearted and alone have taught her that she should be that way as well. I don't want that for her. If she has feelings for someone, she should follow those feelings."
"As long as those feelings aren't for Benjamin Snow, I'm fine."
I rolled my eyes. "You're such a man."
"You mean, I'm such a father."
"Whatever," I shook my head with a smile. Silence fell between us and I took a slow breath. It was time to become serious. "Have we made any head-way with what the weapon is that my Father is looking for?"
"No," Sirius shook his head. "We're having a meeting tomorrow night. We have to figure out where the weapon is being kept in the Ministry."
"How can we protect something when we don't know what it is?"
"If we know where it is, we'll know what part of the Ministry we have to protect."
I frowned deeply and nodded. It still didn't sound like a good plan. I wished I could have a connection to my Father to figure out what he wanted the weapon for, but it had appeared since his resurrection in the graveyard two months ago that he had severed all ties to our connection. He was very aware of his emotions and saw to it that I did not pick up anything psychically. He knew that our connection would be his weakness; he was making sure he didn't exploit that weakness.
"When do you go back to work?" Sirius asked.
I blinked and frowned at him.
"Next week," I replied sorely, mostly because I didn't want to go back to work. "Although, I'd rather not. Dumbledore has agreed that I should stay on with Scott to see where his loyalties lie."
"What does Scrimgeour think?"
"He believes that Voldemort has returned. But he will not join any group that is against the Ministry. It's good to have him on our side though…"
"Do you trust him?"
I hesitated. "I trust him to put the department and the Ministry before our needs. He is loyal to the interests of the Ministry, not to who sits in the Minister's office."
Sirius nodded his head as he ran his hands threw his beard.
"And Gabriel's new partner?"
"I don't know," I sighed with a weak smile because I felt bad for calling Gabriel home early. "He was supposed to meet them today, but I pulled him from work early because of the attack. He'll probably meet them tomorrow."
"Mom?" questioned Carrigan's unsure voice.
Sirius and I both turned in our chairs to face the staircase that led down into the basement kitchen. Carrigan appeared at the base of the stairs and looked around curiously with raised eyebrows and her arms crossed over her chest as if she were cold.
"Carrigan!" Sirius said excitedly. He jumped up and opened his arms. Carrigan beamed at her father and moved into his arms, embracing him tightly. Sirius had been in the kitchen when we arrived; Remus Lupin had let us into the house as he was preparing to leave. He welcomed us in and told us where the extra bedrooms were upstairs. Carrigan and Benjamin had taken our things upstairs to get settled, and I came downstairs to greet Sirius.
Sirius kissed his daughter's head as she clung to him. He looked at me with raised eyebrows because she remained in his arms for a long period. He rubbed her back and took a step back to look her in the eye. He lifted her chin and frowned at the sad expression on her face.
"Carrigan," he said her name tenderly. "What is it?"
"Nothing," she whispered. "I'm just tired."
I could see she was lying, but I did not call her out on it. She would tell us what was on her mind when she was ready.
"Are you hungry at all?" Sirius motioned to the bread. "Or do you want some tea?"
"No, thank you," she said politely. I studied Carrigan as she stood next to me in her jean shorts and red pull over. Her body was tense and blue eyes wide open. She was just as bad of a liar as I was. She was not in the least bit tired. "You know Dad, I still haven't changed my mind about that tattoo." She smiled slyly as she peered at Sirius with perfectly matching blue eyes.
"We agreed to wait until you were fifteen," Sirius said looking up at her as he took his seat.
"I would like to propose an alteration to the original terms of our agreement," Carrigan said confidently. Sirius smiled and motioned for her to take a seat across from him, on my right side. She moved easily around the table and took a seat across from her father.
"Proceed," he said with a smile. Carrigan sat up straight as she folded her arms on the table.
"I would like to propose a shortening to the waiting period."
"How much of a shortening?"
"I would like to get the tattoo for Christmas this year," Carrigan said boldly without hesitation. "Under the current agreement I have to keep the same tattoo design for more then a year, but if I change my mind I only have to wait a year from the time I changed my mind until I get the tattoo. So, does it seem fair to propose that if I still want the spear-and-snake tattoo design come Christmas, that I be allowed to get it at the end of the year as a Christmas gift?"
Sirius considered the question and stroked his beard as he thought. He glanced at me, to see what I was thinking, but I wasn't thinking anything. I was studying Carrigan very closely, trying to figure out what was bothering her so much that she would reconsidered the terms of the agreement she had previously made with Sirius.
"I think if you still want the same design come Christmas that we should wait until your fourteenth birthday, as opposed to your fifteenth," Sirius said as he looked at Carrigan. "Does that seem like a fair negotiation? Take a year off of the original agreement?"
Carrigan tapped her fingers against the table as she thought about it.
"Alright," she bowed her head. "But I know I'm not going to change my mind."
"So, April next year then. We'll get it when you come home for Easter. Cadence, does that seem alright with you?"
"Yes," I replied. "Is there something else on your mind, Carrigan?"
She looked at me quickly.
"No," was all she said. Then she stood up left the table. "Benjamin is calling me."
"What?" Sirius looked confused.
Carrigan released an exasperated sigh at the base of the staircase.
"He's calling me with Legilimency," she said with a touch of aggravation on her tongue. "He insists on communicating that way to strengthen my skills. He wants me to put up my Occlumency walls all the time." She turned and looked up the staircase. "I'M COMING!" she shouted loudly with anger.
There was a loud high-pitched scream from upstairs that caused me to jump. Sirius sighed and stood up from the table as he moved to the staircase. The screams could be heard echoing through the entire house.
"—BLOOD TRAITOR—NO SON OF MINE—MUDBLOOD FOOLS—"
Must be Sirius' Mother, I thought with half a smile before sipping my tea.
"You should avoid yelling in the house, Carrigan," he said as he affectionately patted her shoulder. "You just woke the portrait of my Mother."
Carrigan frowned deeply. "Sorry," she apologized. "Ben just drives me absolutely crazy."
"Come on," Sirius said. "I'll go straighten him out."
Carrigan smiled. "That's not really necessary, Dad." But there was pleasure in her voice. She certainly appreciated his offer. I watched as they both disappeared up the staircase towards the first floor of the house. I turned and finished eating my bread before looking up at the clock that hung on the wall. It was almost six o'clock. I thought Gabriel would have been along by now. I frowned and ran my hands through my hair, trying not to worry about him. Someone could be heard descending the stairs, and when I turned to look over my shoulder, I was surprised to see Molly Weasley appear with her daughter, Ginny, and Hermione Granger in tow. I stood up from my chair to greet them.
"Cadence!" Molly said with shock. "I wasn't expecting you tonight!"
She put down the bags of groceries she was carrying and hugged me tightly, which I was not expecting. I patted her back awkwardly and tried to relax in her arms.
"Yes, we were forced out of the house today," I whispered pulling away from her. She gave me a sad look, as if apologizing for our trouble.
"What happened?" Ginny asked as she carried her bags around the table and set them down, along with Hermione.
"Nothing to worry about," I said with a forced smile. I was sure that Molly would not forgive me for saying that Death Eaters attacked us in the house and Benjamin ruthlessly killed one, before we tortured the other.
"Is Carrigan upstairs?"
"Yes, with Sirius and Benjamin."
"Benjamin?" Hermione raised her eyebrows. "Who's he?"
"A friend," I lied very carefully. Guardians were seen as mythical beings, and very rarely were they believed to be real. I knew that they were real, but I didn't want Carrigan to be judged for believing in such things. I knew someone as logical as Hermione would be skeptical of Guardians.
"Oh, let's go meet him," Ginny said with a smile and taking Hermione's arm.
"I'll need your help with dinner, girls."
"Yes," I insisted. "I was afraid for a moment that I might have to cook dinner. If that were the case, I'd accidentally burn the house down."
Molly laughed hard, causing her bobbing head of red hair to shake. Her rosy cheeks and happy demeanor brought a smile to my face. It was her positive attitude that would help us get through these hard times.
"We'll be back in a moment," Ginny said dragging Hermione, who looked rather reluctant, to the staircase. The two girls disappeared quickly up to the first floor, leaving Molly and I alone.
"What happened?" Molly asked once the girls were gone. I hesitated for a moment.
"Two Death Eaters attacked us," I sighed. "Carrigan and I were upstairs, by the time I got downstairs, Benjamin had killed one. The other was knocked unconscious."
"I worry about Carrigan being exposed to so much violence," Molly said shaking her head as she moved away from the table to put some of the groceries away. I frowned deeply. I didn't think Molly had meant to insult my ability to parent my child, but that is how the comment came off. At this point what was I supposed to do?
"Those Death Eaters were coming for her," I said. "It's better that she knows how to protect herself. Since she is not of age to be able to protect herself with a wand, it is better that she can physically win a fight. Besides, her physical magic requires physical training. If she can control her body, mind and emotions she'll be able to control her magic."
Molly frowned as she came back to the table. "I didn't mean to offend you, Cadence," she said softly. I bowed my head.
"It's alright," I said standing up. "I know you didn't."
I turned on my heel and left the basement kitchen. I didn't want to be around Molly anymore in fear that I'd lose my temper and yell, scream, or make the house shake. It was difficult for people to understand why I parented Carrigan the way I did. Many people judged the way I raised her, but the fact of the matter was they didn't know her situation. They didn't know our situation. They didn't know that Carrigan had enough physical energy pent up inside of her that if she lost control she'd easily destroy an entire city block with the blink of an eye. Most people didn't realize that physical powers were even possible in witches or wizards. They didn't know that Carrigan was so powerful she needed a Guardian, a personal teacher, to guide and train her. They didn't know or understand.
I ran into Sirius on the second floor of the house. I was about to go up the next set of stairs, but he blocked me as he came down them.
"Where are you heading?"
"To my room," I whispered. "To unpack."
"What's wrong?"
Why was it that Sirius could tell when something was bothering me now, but when we were together he never thought anything was wrong?
"Walk with me," I motioned for him to follow as I moved up the stairs. Sirius heeded and followed me up the stairs until we reached the third floor. I moved down the narrow hallway and disappeared into the guest bedroom he had assigned me. As the Weasley family, Hermione and my family were all staying in the house, Sirius had organized and assigned us room. He graciously gave Gabriel and me one of the largest rooms in the house, just down the hall from his.
Once we were in the bedroom, I closed the door tightly behind me. Sirius looked around with a sad dry expression. There wasn't much to the bedroom, only a bureau and large king sized bed. It didn't bother me. I could live with just a bed if I had to. After all, I spent the years after leaving Hogwarts until I moved to Maine living in empty or run-down flats. The king size bed was luxury enough.
"What's the matter that we have to talk in private?" he asked.
"Nothing," I whispered. "Molly just told me she's worried about Carrigan being exposed to violence."
"I'm worried about it too," Sirius said honestly.
I gave him the dirties look I could muster and I rolled my eyes. Of course, Sirius would agree. He hated what Gabriel had taught me; and he hated what Gabriel taught Carrigan. Why was I surprised?
"Sirius, it's the only way to protect her," I retorted defensively.
"I know," he said with a bow of his head. "You turned out fine, so I trust the process…but I'm still worried about what she's seen. She's seen bad, violent, bloody things and she's only thirteen. That has to have an effect on her."
"Only if she lets it," I hissed.
"Only if she lets it?" he repeated like I was crazy. "Cadence, two months ago she found you lying outside the gates of Hogwarts covered in blood, skinner then an anorexic whore, and nearly dead. Then a month ago she got into a physical fight with three Death Eaters where her 'guardian' killed them in front of her. And today she saw a corpse bleeding on your dinning room table and heard you torture the other—"
"She told you this?" I interrupted.
"Yes," Sirius frowned. "That's why she's upset. She's terrified that she'll have to kill people. She doesn't want that."
"I didn't want to kill people either! She has to learn that if the fight comes down to her life of theirs she's going to have to make a choice."
"She doesn't want to be put into a situation where she has to make that choice."
"So, what?" I stammered. "She wants someone like Benjamin around for the rest of her life to protect her? I know she doesn't want that. She hates the fact that her Guardian is a man. She wants to be able to protect herself."
"I don't know if she wants that anymore."
I frowned deeply. What had happened to Carrigan? In the last two years she had been begging Gabriel and I to start training her. Last summer she had trained everyday, exercising for hours, and possibly ruining her childhood because she was so focused on learning to master her skills. What had caused her to hate it now? To not want to fight?
I sat down on the bed and stared up at Sirius.
"What changed?"
"You almost died," he said without hesitation.
"She told you that's what it is?"
"She doesn't have to."
I shook my head and rubbed up and down my thighs. "How do I make it better?" I asked while biting my bottom lip.
"I don't know," Sirius said sitting down on the bed next to me. He took my hand and squeezed it tightly. "We'll keep her safe and we'll make it right."
I nodded as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and kissed my forehead.
"She's still learning," Sirius continued. "This is just something she has to learn."
"I want to kill him."
"Who?"
"My Father," I hissed. "I want to kill him with my bare hands for creating this stupid war. He's a cowardly bastard—and I won't stop until he's dead. I'm not going to run like last time, Sirius. I'm going to meet him head on and destroy him for creating a world where our daughter isn't safe."
Sirius gave me a tired smile. "I know. Hell help the man who ever breaks Carrigan's heart. You'll hunt him down like a wild dog."
I smirked and laid my head on his shoulder as he rubbed my back. "If you and Gabriel don't beat me to it."
Sirius laughed a full-hearted, bark-like, laugh that warmed my heart. Despite the world falling to pieces around us, I knew all would be well. Somehow, our family would make it through this—Carrigan's trauma, the war, everything. We would survive through everything.
