How to Babysit a Super Toddler
A/N: Thank you guys for all the support! A bit of the "family" portion of the genre popping up in this one. ;)
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Day Two of Loki's torture found him in some considerable pain.
"OW! Quit yanking! That hurts!" Loki snapped.
"Well, I'm SORRY," Pepper snapped back. "It's really stuck in there." She tried to yank the comb through his hair again.
"OW!"
Pepper sighed dramatically, dropping the comb down on the kitchen table. "This is useless. We're going to have to cut it out."
Loki shot her a desperate sort of glare. "If you think you're going to bring shears to my hair-"
"Well it's not like you have any magic shampoo that will get sticky spider webs out of your hair," she said in return, leaving the room in search of scissors. Loki considered her words, trying to remember if he had brought any of his specially brewed hair tonics for situations like these from Asgard. He was certain that he did not, but with the crazy auburn-haired woman making her way back with a gleaming pair of silver scissors, he wasn't about to take any chances.
From across the table in his highchair, Peter let out a squealing laugh. Loki shot the child a glare. Honestly, what kind of spider could bite a human and give him its abilities? He had never heard of an arachnid of such abilities. But he really should have known better than to assume that he knew everything about Earth. Really, Midgard was horrifyingly unpredictable with all these⦠superheros running around. Now they came in midget sizes.
It turned out that the little hell-spawns spider powers didn't just stop at wall-climbing. Apparently, he could shoot super sticky webs from his wrists and when he discovered that he could do so, he proceeded to coat the whole room with a sheen of sticky webs, giggling the whole time. Luckily, Pepper Potts, the miracle worker that she was, managed to clean it without much trouble and assigned Thor to distract the kid while she struggled to get the webs out of Loki's hair. He didn't particularly want her help, but he resigned himself to glaring at the demon arachnid kid while protesting rather loudly about how much her combing hurt his delicate skull.
"This is all your fault, you little devil-spawn," he hissed. Peter laughed anyway, amused by Loki's unfortunate situation. Or perhaps he was just laughing because he thought it was funny. Loki liked the first option better. It was easier to hate something cute when it had ulterior motives. Thor caught his brother's look and tried to quiet the child.
"I know teasing my brother amuses you so," he told Peter. "But the teasing must stop soon, lest he become more infuriated than he already is."
Peter let his giggles subside as he turned wide, confused brown eyes towards his blonde Asgardian uncle. "Buh, Uncoo Loki funny!" he announced in his high-pitched toddler voice. He giggled again, kicking his feet in his highchair. "Laugh, laugh!"
"No. No laugh," Thor said. "It is not funny to him."
Peter paused in his laughter. "No funny?" he repeated.
"No," Thor said with a nod of his head, pleased that the child was understanding him. "You must be kind to him."
Tears started to well up in Peter's eyes. "No funny?"
Thor started to panic, backtracking in his words to try and keep the child at bay. Loki gave a sharp, toneless laugh.
"It is useless to try and talk to it," he said. "It will only continue to do what it pleases, regardless of what you say."
Thor seemed putout by his brother's words, sending him a frown. "I do not believe that."
Loki scoffed. "Back to this nonsense, Thor?"
"This child is intelligent," Thor told his brother. Loki frowned at the serious tone in his voice. "He may not understand what you are saying to him, but he understands your intentions. Tread lightly, brother, or you may not like the results."
Thor picked the child up from his highchair in search for some nourishment to feed the toddler, leaving his brother to stew silently upon his words. Loki glared at a spot on the table, frowning distastefully when he realized that, somehow, Thor had managed to get him to do exactly what he wanted. He rather hated when Thor had moments of poetic justice. He was surprisingly good with words when he wished to be. He wouldn't admit it to his blonde airhead of a brother, but Loki felt a small pang of guilt within his chest. Perhaps he was being too rough upon the child. He jolted in surprise when the auburn-haired woman appeared suddenly behind him, gleaming silver scissors in hand. He jumped from his seat.
"You are not-"
"Sit." The scissors glinted dangerously in her hand.
He sat.
Loki watched in humiliated silence as locks of his hair dropped to the table before him. Each clump of hair was knotted hopelessly with spider webs. He touched one of the longer strands of his hair with disgust. Nevermind what he was thinking. The child deserved everything he said about him. The only bearable thing about this whole situation was the occasional feel of Pepper's fingers against his scalp as she shook out some of the loose hair from her "hack job". She was surprisingly gentle after her attempt to yank his hair out with the comb.
"Well," she said, sounding rather pleased. "It doesn't look half bad. You're lucky, Loki." She handed him a hand mirror. He noted with distaste that his hair looked almost exactly like it did when he lived in Asgard, if not a little shorter. Ugh. He placed the mirror face down upon the table.
"I will not thank you."
"Didn't expect you to," Pepper responded, cleaning up the hair from the table. "And I know you don't care about my opinions, but I think shorter hair suits you better." She gave him a small, secretive smile that put Loki a bit on edge. He opened his mouth to say something in return only to have his words drown out by a shrill scream.
Both adults looked in alarm toward the kitchen just in time for a second scream to pull out of the spider toddler's mouth as he came running from the room as fast as his little feet could carry him. A wide, toothy smile split his face, unmistakable marks of chocolate decorating his lips. Uneaten candy dropped from his clenched hands, leaving a trail behind him as he ran from the room, giggling. Thor came crashing through the room, shouting for him to stop his "shrieking running". Pepper and Loki sat in shocked silence after their quick appearance before a small chuckle unintentionally pulled from Loki's lips. Pepper gave a soft laugh in response. They both watched as Peter ran by the doorway to the dining room, Thor helplessly chasing after him.
"Brother! I need assistance!" the God of Thunder shouted from the other room. "The spider child has acquired a deadly substance that is multiplying his powers! Ack!" There was a loud crash from somewhere in the living room.
"Oh dear," Pepper said in worry, moving to follow after him. Curious, Loki followed her, laughing in amusement when he saw the mess Thor had created trying to chase the child around the room. Things were knocked over and Thor struggled to catch Peter as the toddler swung by on a rope of web hanging from the ceiling just out of his Uncle's reach. Peter laughed happily and for the first time, Loki laughed with him.
"Oh stop laughing already!" Pepper scolded him as she started climbing on the couch to coax Peter off the ceiling. "Help us already, or I'm putting you in charge of putting him down for his afternoon nap!"
It wasn't long until he was also standing on the couch trying to get Peter off the ceiling.
No thanks to Thor's attempt at feeding the child food without cooking, Peter was on a sugar high for most of the afternoon. He ran his adult babysitters into the ground without hardly even breaking a sweat, and when he was finally showing some signs of tiring out, they were already collapsed on the ground. Pepper had picked up the kid and placed him on the couch between her and Loki while Thor snored loudly from the chair adjacent to them. She turned the tv on to hopefully amuse Peter until he fell asleep, but she had clocked out even earlier than the child did. So, Loki was the last one awake, suspiciously eying the clay man on the tv talking to his tools, while Peter sat up next to him. Out of the corner of his eye, he kept watch for when the child would fall asleep so he could slip away to his own room for the night. Every once in a while Peter's head would dip, and he would sway uncertainly as he tried to stay awake. Twice, he caught the little boy's big brown eyes looking at him as if he wanted something, but he would turn away and sit-up straighter in his pathetic attempt to stay awake and watch his show. It wasn't lost on him that Peter wanted to curl up next to him so he could fall asleep, but was choosing not to. The third time it happened, Loki ended it.
"Child," he snapped quietly. Peter jumped in surprise, his eyes widening at Loki's tone. "I will not harm you. Put your head down before you fall off this couch." The toddler looked at him uncertainly, clearly struggling between his want to lie on him and his knowledge of Loki's dislike of it. Suddenly, Loki was struck with the realization of what Thor had said to him earlier that day. The child was young, but he really was smart. Growling lowly at being so blind, Loki lifted his arm and pulled the child off balance until he landed with a small huff against Loki's leg. Peter looked up at him with wide, surprised eyes before allowing a comfortable sigh to pull past his small lips. He snuggled close to Loki, tiny hands balling in Loki's shirt before closing his eyes. It wasn't long until Loki could hear the soft breaths of the child even out as he fell asleep.
Loki's hand hovered over the child, unsure of where he should put it. He knew this child was annoying, and drove him crazy on a daily basis. Hell, his hair was shorter now, no thanks to this devious offspring. But, he couldn't deny that there was something within him that went out to this child. Something small within his chest that pulled slightly at the sight of the toddler comfortably sleeping snuggled up next to him. And it was because of that thing that Loki allowed the small lift of his lips as he gently placed his hand upon the small boy's back. He'd never own up to this in the daylight. The devious woman and his air-headed brother would never know of this. So, he tucked away this moment of comfort and settled down to continue watching the ridiculously addicting show about "fixing things" with talking tools.
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Got ideas for Thor and Loki's misfortune? Got something you'd really like to see happen? Drop me your ideas in a review! I read them all, and what better way to get story ideas than from the readers themselves? Much love!
