"I've never…..wore a dress before." Bruce says. Natasha of course drinks as does Loki. But Thor and Tony also drink and Thor gets all the odd looks.
"I don't want to talk about it." Thor says, making everybody even more curious. Tony simply says "Halloween" and that is that. Clint eyes Thor suspiciously, Tony and Bruce too. He's been getting big gaydar vibes from all three of them ever since Loki arrived.
"I've never had sex with a man before." Clint says. Natasha drinks, but Loki doesn't which everyone notices. Thor and Tony also drink. Fucking knew it!
"It was a tranny okay! He was very convincing and I had a little too much to drink and…." Tony trails off.
"Shocker." Natasha says. They all turn to look at Thor again.
"I don't want to talk about it." Thor says again.
"Dude? Are you gay? I mean it's cool if you are its just, I always assumed you were into girls." Tony says. It is Loki's turn next. Loki suspects something and asks a question that no one in the room should be able to drink to.
"I've never had sex with a Jotunn before." Loki says. Of course no one lifts their drink…but Thor looks away and slowly lifts his bottle to his lips. Dress? Jotunn? "You were in Jotunnheim during the fertility festival weren't you?" Loki states rather than asks. Thor's eyes bulge out of his head when he turns to look at Loki.
"I was an adolescent and my friends dared me!" Thor cries out. Loki howls with laughter because it means that Thor had to have played the part of the female! Loki will ask Thor details about this at another time. His Jotunn mate had to have been one with a very small cock (for a Jotunn). It takes a couple of minutes for Loki's mirth to subside. He is still sniffing tears of laughter away when Natasha asks Loki something.
"So Loki, you've never had sex with a man?" She asks very curious.
"No I have not. Just a few women, that is all." Loki states. Normally he would never be so forward with his private sex life, but there is an atmosphere of mutually assured embarrassment here. It is, in its own odd way, a team building exercise.
"Why no men?" She follows up. Everyone is staring at him and Loki feels uncomfortable. As a prince, he really shouldn't discuss such things, but there is a safety component that needs to be addressed. With much hesitation, Loki answers her question.
"It is men that I am truly attracted to. Ultimately it will be a male that I bond with for life, and to whom I will bear children. You see, I am quickly approaching the age of the heat. It is a time in my life when my female sex organs go active, and…during that time…. I am compelled to conceive a child. Failure to do so would result in my death. So the male I choose….I want him to be someone I love." Loki explains as he fidgets in his seat.
"When you say soon…?" Tony asks for clarification.
"At some point in the next ten years or so. It is hard to say when it will happen." Loki says.
"Oh, well that's a really big window. I wouldn't worry too much." Tony says. Something inside Tony shuts down with regard to Loki. They've been flirtatious with one another, but Tony doesn't want kids. He needs to nip this in the bud now. "Anyway, my turn. I've never….fought in World War II." Tony grins. Of course Steve is the only one that takes a drink. He gives a slanted smile as he sways in his seat. Good for him, Tony thinks.
"I've never had sex." Steve says with slurred words. Damn. Everyone drinks and looks at the super soldier with pity. Natasha and Loki exchange looks. They are both seriously considering a pity fuck, not that Steve needs a pity fuck, he's gorgeous but sheesh, he is long overdue. Poor guy, a series of circumstances got in the way. Loki looks at Steve with new found respect. If Steve shows any attraction to him, Loki will pursue him in earnest.
It is Thor's turn next, and he weighs heavily what he wants to say. Loki knows about his brush with another Jotunn, and that his sexual desires are not…typical. "I've never made love to a woman." Thor says.
"You are gay!" Clint says. "Holy shit!" Everyone gasps and laughs with complete surprise. Everyone except Loki. Loki's and Thor's eyes meet across the living room, pointedly and with purpose. Loki feels an earthquake in his chest. He has multiple potential mates in this room and the one practically declaring himself is none other than the Prince of Asgard.
"I've never accidently lit a house on fire while taking out a target." Natasha says with an evil grin.
"One time! I miss my target one time and you never let me live it down." Clint takes a damn swig of his drink. Natasha knows it bugs him to no end and she loves picking at his one mistake. It drives him nuts.
"I've never been sick." Bruce says. Everyone drinks except for Loki. Of course he wouldn't. He's a damn healer.
"I've never been to France." Clint says. Steve drinks again.
"Really, you've never been to France?" Natasha asks.
"Nope, I've been to Germany, Italy, and Spain, but not France." Clint says. Huh, go figure.
"I've never almost caused an international/inter-realm incident." Loki says. Everyone drinks. Good one.
"I've never….had sex in a foreign country." Tony says.
"What? Yes you have!" Bruce says.
"Nope, no I was always on a plane flying over international waters, but while abroad I never had sex on foreign soil. I was usually too busy and by the time I was no longer busy I was back on the plane heading home or headed to my next destination." Steve is the only one that doesn't drink.
"Peggy was the only woman I ever loved." Steve slurs. "I never, I never got to make love to her. I was going to marry her you know…." Steve sways in his seat a bit too much. He's done. "I loved Bucky too. He was my best friend (Steve drools a little) and he died falling off a train. I loved him so much." Clint grabs Steve by the shoulder as Thor takes the drink from his hand. The game is over. Bruce, Thor, and Loki all pitch in to carry Steve back to his room since they all live on the same floor together. The men make a group effort to get Steve stripped down to his boxers and tucked into bed. The three men left standing fall into an awkward silence and Bruce bids Thor and Loki a good night.
"I liked the game it was very illuminating. I felt comfortable sharing parts of myself I've never shared with anyone." Loki says to Thor.
"I liked the game as well." Thor says looking deeply into Loki's eyes. Thor doesn't know what to do. He's used to pushing away throngs of eager maidens, not chasing one. And he certainly isn't used to chasing a maiden, who is also a man, who is also a Jotunn, and a Prince. Thor leans in to kiss him, but his lips only meet air. Loki smiles at him wickedly and with encouragement.
"Good night…..My Prince." Loki says seductively and closes his door softly.
XxXxXxXxXx
Steve wakes up with the first hangover he's had in over 70 years. He moans loudly. Loki smiles with mirth and sympathy. He goes through his healing bag of potions and salves and administers much appreciated relief to the virgin soldier. Little does Steve know that "Operation get Steve laid" has commenced. Steve doesn't remember a whole lot about last night and asks Loki what he remembers.
"Do you recall any of the game questions you asked?" Loki asks him.
"I remember saying that I never drove a Ford and I never lived in the country, and I never killed a woman…things kind of got blurry after that." Steve says.
"You also said that you've never had sex." Loki tells him. Steve's eyes bug out in embarrassment. He never thought he would confess that secret to anyone, and certainly not while drunk. He thought we would have been clear headed enough to at least keep that a secret.
"So everyone knows?" Steve gulps.
"Everyone knows." Loki says. He pats Steve's shoulder gently in a consoling manner. This is bad. This is very bad. Shit. Tony is going to try something. Steve wouldn't be surprised if he came home to a hooker in his bedroom. He doesn't want to lose his virginity that way. He wants to love her.
"Steven, do not be embarrassed by your purity. You are an honorable man and your future mate will be very lucky to have you." Loki says with veiled meaning. He's digging. Loki and Steve's eyes meet and the awkward cringe that fills the air gives Loki his answer. Steve is not interested in him. Not like that. Loki is just a good team mate.
Slowly everyone stumbles, slinks, or otherwise slithers out of their rooms to find the coffee pot. It is about 11am before everyone is kind of up and alert when a call comes in from Nick. A new Hydra safe house has been found.
