CHAPTER FOUR
I have no clue what time it is or what is going on in the rest of the city. I don't think I care.
I have spent the last few hours hiding in my little corner, teaching Annabelle to play "Choo Choo, Choo Choo," a clapping game popular with the young Dauntless girls. She still hasn't talked yet, but she's sitting up, playing with me, laughing, and clapping her hands together. For the time being, I don't care about much else.
As time moves forward, my bladder feels uncomfortably full and my stomach feels painfully empty. I need to use the restroom and I'm starting to get hungry, but I'm too afraid to leave my little corner.
But then Annabelle gets bored with my game and starts to whine. I sigh. I'm sure she's hungry too.
"Here, Annabelle, let me teach you a song," I say, trying to get her attention.
"Dauntless, Dauntless, strong as can be! Bravest, Strongest of all are we!" I sing the first two lines before I realize that I probably shouldn't be singing a Dauntless song in the middle of a Factionless building, especially considering the disgust towards the factions that I overheard this morning.
I try to come up with a song that doesn't have to do with my faction, but all of the songs that Dauntless children sing talk about being brave, powerful, and better than everybody else. I don't think that's true of Factionless songs.
Without any type of distraction, Annabelle really starts to wail. Loudly.
"Shh, shh!" Worried about her drawing attention to us, I frantically try to calm her. Throughout the day, some people have been wandering in and out of the small room, but they never pay any attention to Annabelle and me in the corner. I am grateful that the room is now empty.
"Okay, okay, I'll find us something to eat!" I say to her, figuring that hunger is probably contributing to her little fit.
As I stand and lift her, I notice the bottom of her dress is wet and smelly.
Ugh. Now I'll have to try and find her new clothes as well.
I am afraid to leave the room, my little sanctuary. I know that I'm no longer easily identifiable as Dauntless, but I feel that my faction is written all over me, marking me as the enemy.
Finally, I take a deep breath and step out into the hallway. It's hardly any lighter in here than it was last night. My plan is to find Alexis, the only friendly face I know around this place, but I don't even know where to look. A growl in my stomach compels me to move forward, so I walk slowly, letting my hand glide along the left wall to show me the way. Annabelle is heavy and smelly in my arms.
"Can you walk?" I ask her, "walk?"
Even though she doesn't answer, I set her down on her feet. For a few seconds, she is unsteady, but then I grab her hand and she toddles down the hall beside me.
I keep walking until I'm in a room I recognize. It's the big, two-story room from last night. Now, it's lighter, so I can see a big staircase and an old elevator shaft to the left of the hallway. In front of me, on the right, the window is still open from last night, letting in the majority of the light. The room is empty.
"Well, Annabelle," I say to the child, since there's no one else to talk to, "I'm not sure what we can do now."
She's still crying beside me, not interested in what I have to say. I sigh, and stand there looking around the room. The empty elevator shaft looks like an endless dark hole. The open window shows a bright sunny day, but for some reason that doesn't look any less menacing.
I wasn't lying, I think, my eyes scanning the room, I really have no clue what to do.
As I'm standing there trying to decide my next move and failing to convince myself that fleeing back to my corner would not be a good idea, a boy walks in the door and stops short when he sees us. His clothes, a faded yellow t-shirt, white pants, and sturdy black boots, clearly mark him as Factionless: a hodgepodge of colors. Nonetheless, he is clean-shaven with short-cropped brown hair, a style untypical of the Factionless.
At first, I don't recognize him. But as soon as he talks, I realize he is the "Erudite-Dauntless failure" from the conversation I overheard earlier today. The darkness of the room had clearly masked his bright, kind green eyes. I wonder now how I could not have noticed them.
"Who are you?" he asks, regarding me quizzically.
"Timidia," I reply, without even worrying about how my name might reveal my faction. "And this is Annabelle," I gesture the little girl, finally still, standing by my side. She looks back up at him in curiosity.
He glances at Annabelle for a second, but then his green eyes come back up to meet mine. He almost looks concerned as he asks, "Are you from Abnegation?"
"No…" I almost say, but then I stop myself. The alibi Alexis had constructed for me said I failed Dauntless initiation, but how does that explain the little Abnegation girl? Besides, I can never pass for a Factionless, none of them are sneaking around the empty rooms, trying to be invisible, scared of their own shadows.
"Yes," I finally say, "We're both Abnegation."
He visibly relaxes at these words and his eyes shine with obvious pity. "Oh, I had heard some of the survivors ran to our safe houses, but I thought they were on the other side of the city. Is it just you and your sister here?"
I decide to just let him think Annabelle is my sister. I wish she were my sister, that I were Abnegation, so the lie is easy enough.
"Yes," I reply, miraculously relaxing under his kind stare. "We ran away after the killing." I neglect to add that I was the one doing the killing.
"And your parents?" he asks.
I say nothing. What can I say? That I probably killed Annabelle's parents and that my dad is a monster, somewhere acting Dauntless while I run away?
He interprets my silence as sadness and takes a few steps closer to me. He reaches out as if wanting to give me a hug, but instead his arms fall empty and useless at his side.
"I'm sorry," he says. "But don't worry, you're safe now."
It's the same lie I told Annabelle this morning. The lie that I couldn't even convince myself to believe. But, somehow, looking at this strong and determined green-eyed boy in front of me, I start to believe it.
