LitL 4


Dib had run home. There were two reasons why. One; he wanted to be as far from Keef's dead body as possible. Two; something in his head told him that if he ran, he would get home faster, then he could get back to Zim faster, and that's where he wanted to be.

He shot through the door, although that wasn't unusual. Gaz was playing her Gameslave on the couch.

"Hey Gaz! Is Dad home?" Dib always asked that if Gaz got home first. The Midel Skool got out earlier than the Hyie Skool, although sometimes Dib would be sent home early due to "behavioral issues" regarding the adolescent Sasquatch in his AP Physics class.

"Yeah. Don't worry; I already told him." Gaz responded over her game. Blips and buzzes were issuing from the purple device in her hands. Dib figured that Gaz had just told their father about his being suspended for a week and left the whole homosexuality topic for him to deal with. So when Dib twirled into his room, much like he'd done the past day, he stopped dead in his tracks. Professor Membrane was sitting on Dib's bed, shoulders hunched, next to a brown suitcase.

"D-dad? What happened?" All Dib's worst fears were bubbling up; his father had contracted a deadly disease, he was going to the Crazy House for Boys again, or, worst of all, he was in massive trouble for getting suspended. His father sighed, shaking his head at the sight of his son. Based on the pitch of the sigh and the timing of the shaking of the head, Dib concluded that it was probably the last one.

"My poor, gay, insane son…" Membrane muttered, keeping his head down. Dib almost recoiled in shock. Gaz told Membrane about…that? How…what…when…why? "I hope your little foreign friend is okay with it." Membrane looked up at his son, standing dumbstruck in the doorway. The world-famous professor patted the space next to him, inviting Dib to take a seat.

Zim instantly ordered the computer to clean up the body, leaving NO EVIDENCE, as usual. Robotic arms started fixing the television; radio-controlled mops began swabbing away the blood. An incinerator swallowed up the body, burning it with powerful explosives. Zim started a program in his PAK that would erase the bond between him and Keef, more so in a contraceptive manner. Even though it was years ago, Zim's PAK had preserved Keef's genetic information. Fertilization could have happened at any time, luck and love had kept the sperm out. Zim kept thinking about how tomorrow would be. Judging by Dib's reactions, it was his first time. Would he know what to do? He seemed to have his shit together about kissing…Zim trusted Dib. And this Earth "protection" seemed very effective. The girls at Skool were all going nuts over this mating. The ones that refrained from taking advantage of this tool ended up either with horrible diseases that had no cure, or with children that they couldn't take care of. Why didn't they just wrap it before they tapped it?

"You're kicking me out?" Dib asked his father in shock. Professor Membrane paused for thought.

"It's nothing personal, son. It's the media. If they found out that I had a gay son, they would question my sexuality. And then they would say that you and your sister are illegitimate children, perhaps wedlock-born. As you can understand, it's my image that keeps me going. It keeps me inventing. If it were to go downhill, we would all suffer." He tried to explain. Dib's face was a mosaic of confused anger and hatred.

"How can you just throw me out? I'm your son! You're just gonna throw me away? Who cares if I'm gay? And why should you care about your image? I've been taking shit from all the kids at skool for years! I still believe the paranormal, even against those odds! How could you…how…could…you…just…like trash…I can't…" Dib's anger slowly simmered away, leaving behind a residue of disbelief and loneliness. Membrane clapped a hefty palm onto Dib's shoulder. A small box was placed into Dib's hands.

"Always remember to use protection, son." Membrane boomed. The box was labeled, "Latex Protective Condom; from the company that brought you Adhesive Medical Strips". Dib started crying, just so softly. In a huff, he grabbed the suitcase and, finding it heavy with his belongings, left his room for the last time.

It took about four hours to get the base cleaned. Lemony-fresh victory was wafting down the halls, the blatant citrus covering the stinging formaldehyde and antiseptic stenches. Zim scrubbed the blood stain up by hand. Death was not a new thing for him; he'd practically murdered half of his home planet. But this was something more…abrupt. It was almost like instant gratification, but it was more shaming than anything else. Instant shame, then. Instead of waiting for the casualty count in the news, you know that they're dead, right then and there. Zim took a deep breath, feeling woozy because of the ammonia-based cleaning fluids. There was no more evidence, therefore it never happened.

There was a knock at the door. Or, rather, the computer recognized that there was someone at the door and rang a physical proximity warning across the base. Whatever helps you sleep at night.

Zim opened the door, a new pair of contacts and a cleaned wig disguising his more obvious features. Dib was standing on the porch with a suitcase and a box of something. "Dib-love? Why are you here? We planned for tomorrow, remember?" Zim voiced his confusion, concern flitting through artificial pupils.

"My dad kicked me out. He found out about…us…and said that I was bad for his…image. So, I was wondering…could I…stay here? I have nowhere else to go." Dib seemed ashamed and angry, but subdued and tired as well. He needed a warm bed and a good hug, perhaps a nice meal. Most importantly, he needed time with the one he loved, who was still standing in the door, concerned.

"Of course you can live here, Dib. I would have asked after the mating, but I wasn't sure what human protocol was. Come in." Zim stepped to the side, letting Dib in. Dib walked inside, hefting his suitcase in his left hand. Zim followed, closing the door behind him. "What happened between you and your parent-unit?"

Dib had settled down on the couch, his suitcase resting near his feet. "Well, I went home after being here. Everything seemed normal. I asked Gaz if Dad was home. He usually wasn't, but today he was. Gaz said she told Dad something for me. I thought she meant the suspension. When I went into my room, my dad was sitting next to this suitcase on my bed. After a second I sat next to him. He said that he wanted to accept me, but couldn't. Most of his supporters were major conformists. They wouldn't support him if anything in his family was strange or unusual. That's why there were all those rumors about me being crazy. It's not his fault if I'm 'mentally unstable'" Dib paused, feeling the anger resurface. Zim sat on the couch next to him, gently stroking Dib's arms and pressing his face into Dib's neck. Dib continued, strengthened by Zim's love. "So my dad said it was nothing personal, but the media wouldn't like my…sexual preference. I was so angry at him, and I felt so alone. I think that he has some weird prejudices towards gays, because he gave me a box of condoms, as if we did it all the time."

"But we don't. We haven't even done it once. Not every relationship is based around mating. Why does ours have to?" Zim was very confused again. Dib's father-unit had some issues, if he thought like that all the time.

"It doesn't. That's why it bothers me. But I still want to be prepared for tomorrow, so I searched five different drugstores looking for non-water-based lubricant. I finally found some, and then came here." Dib gave Zim a brief hug that may have not been quite as brief as he'd intended. "So, where can I put my stuff?" Dib asked.

"Since we'll be mating tomorrow, I think you should sleep with me. You may take your things to my private chambers. Here, I'll show you." Zim took Dib's hand and pulled them both towards the trashcan. They both descended down the elevator into the depths of the Earth.


Dib folded his last shirt, placing it in the drawer of the wardrobe that Zim's computer had made. He sighed in contentment. After years of downright shit, things were finally looking up. He had a fantastic boyfriend, a whole new life. Sure, people would tease him for being gay, but what's that compared to being crazy? Besides, he'd had a xenophile label for a few years now. Overall, things were pretty great.

Zim was waiting on his side of the bed, wearing some red pj's and no disguise. Dib turned, wearing blue flannel pj's. He smiled at Zim as they both climbed into the bed. As they lay on the acetate sheets, they found themselves getting lost in the other's eyes. They looked at each other for a good long time. Dib slid his hands around Zim's waist, holding him for just a little while. Zim responded to the holding, scooting closer and placing his hands around Dib's neck. They both felt perfect in that moment. Nothing could hurt them; they were on the top of the world. Dib reached up and stroked one of Zim's antennae. Zim melted at the touch, snuggling closer to Dib. Dib was surprised at the softness of the appendage. It was like wire wrapped with velvet. Once again, that desire to taste them flipped through Dib's mind. He decided against it when fatigue set in. From kissing in the cafeteria to being kicked out, it had been a long day.


Zim awoke, not in his normal pillow-clutching state, but in Dib's arms. "Hello, beautiful." Dib greeted his now-awake boyfriend. Said boyfriend pulled himself closer into Dib's arms.

"Good morning, Dib-heart. What would you like for breakfast?" Zim replied. He pulled his face into the button-up front of Dib's pajama shirt. He'd cried for this moment for months. Now it was here, and Zim didn't want it to end.

"I'm okay with anything. What about you?" Dib felt more relaxed than he'd ever been in his life. Zim was curled in his arms, and everything felt alright. Nothing could hurt them; they were together. Dib tightened his grip on Zim, feeling him bend to fit around Dib's loose and limber form.

"I'm alright with whatever. How do waffles sound?" Zim was now essentially being carried bridal style, or he would be if they were standing. Zim felt almost ecstatic at the closeness.

"Waffles sound great. But I don't want to get up just yet." Dib pulled Zim in closer and pressed his head against Zim's. They were lying together for about five minutes before there was a clatter from the kitchen. But not just a clatter, of course, more of a ruckus. But not just a ruckus, of course, more of a series of explosions followed with maniacal robot laughter and the clatter of Chinet plates on linoleum. Both men in the bed grumbled in annoyance. "Sounds like Gir's making the waffles."

"I know. We should probably make sure he doesn't set the base on fire again." But neither of them moved. Eventually, Dib simply began carrying Zim out of the bed. "I can walk, Dib-love. Thank you." Dib gingerly placed Zim down, not really wanting to but not wanting to make his boyfriend angry. Their hands remained intertwined.

Zim led Dib to the elevator, since it wasn't very well lit in the base. They stepped on the purple hover platform, which instantly carried them up to the kitchen.


Gir was standing in the center of a veritable warzone. Waffle batter dripped from the walls; there were sticks of butter stuck like stalactites on the ceiling. The little dysfunctional robot was dripping with syrup, laughing and rolling on the flour-covered floor. "Hiya Master! I mades waffles for ya!" Gir's eyes were the only clean thing on him. He gasped when he saw Dib. "Hiya Mary! I made extra waffles just for chu! I hope you like peanuts and soap!"

"No, Gir. Soap isn't edible. I thought I told you that last time." Zim was quick to reprimand his robot, who was poring dish soap onto a rather disfigured waffle.

"Awwww, but I likes soapy waffles. They's is good!" Gir looked very sad. His antenna dropped in sadness. A flying purple moose drifted into the room.

"Squeak?" Minimoose asked, nudging his comrade's shoulder. Gir instantly cheered up.

"Hi moose! Do you want these waffles I made? Master won't eat 'em, and Mary can't." He held up the plate, which had suds and peanuts trickling over the edge. Minimoose swallowed the plate in one gulp.

"Ahem. Sir? I have set up something that might not make this morning a total waste. I can clean up Gir's mess, too." The computer interrupted the minion's insanity. Zim and Dib turned around, seeing a pair of robotic arms pull away from a red-cloth-covered table. It was set with two plates of normal waffles, a tray of butter, a jar of syrup, and a single rose in a vase. It looked like a picturesque French café from the movies.

Dib walked forward and pulled a seat out for Zim, who took it graciously. Dib walked to the other side, taking his seat. "So, when do you think we should mate?" Zim asked, pouring syrup on his waffles. Dib nearly choked on his.

"You're asking about that now? Zim, don't you think we should discuss this after breakfast?" Dib had to gulp down half his orange juice to stop coughing. Zim raised his antennae in confusion.

"But I thought you wanted to mate with me. You said you even looked for special non-water-based lubricant. We're alone, why not?" Zim took a bite of his waffles, seemingly nonchalant. But inside he was filled with turmoil.

"I do want to mate with you, Zim. It's just…an uncomfortable topic for me." Dib blushed and scratched the back of his head. He had purchased some water-free lubricant last night. "How about after breakfast? I don't have any plans, what about you?"

"That sounds good. All I'm planning for today is mating with you. We'd better finish our waffles. I'll have the computer lock Gir and Minimoose out of the way." Zim sipped his orange juice, relaxing. "I love you, Dib."

"I love you too, Zim. Pass the butter?"


Dib slid the condom on, according to the diagram on the back of the box. Zim was lying nude on the bed, face up. Adrenaline and hormones were rushing through them both; initiating the three f's; Fight, flight, or fuck. Zim grabbed the lube as Dib straddled the lithe green body. Feeling the three clawed fingers lubricate him felt better than anything, even better than self-relief after reading fanfiction. Dib would have to remember some of the tricks he'd read about the characters from War of the Worlds performing. He took the lube and began loosening Zim's entrance.

"Now, Zim, even though we're lubricated, this might hurt a little. I'll go slowly, but I can't stop the pain completely. I wish I didn't have to, but I do." Dib caressed Zim's face, already feeling regret for having to hurt him, even though it's necessary.

"I can handle it. But thank you for caring." Zim smiled, truly happy. Dib leaned down and kissed his lover as he slowly began his entering.

Zim moaned into Dib's mouth. Dib broke the kiss. "Was I going too fast?" Concern was highlighted in the shrillness of his voice.

"No, you were fine. It just felt really good." Zim explained. Dib began stroking Zim's antennae again as he continued. Zim just melted, feeling nothing but ecstasy. Sure, there was a slight pulling sensation, but the feel of those hands on his antennae… Now it was a mouth, suckling the tips…

Zim's antennae tasted like caramel-coated chocolate. Dib had now began thrusting, going deeper with each thrust. He felt Zim scream when Dib found his sweet spot. Dib became braver in his thrusts, spreading Zim's legs a bit. Zim moaned out, responding to each thrust with a thrust of his own. Dib began sucking at Zim's neck, leaving three very close hickies on Zim's collarbone. They resembled a UFO. Zim's pointed cock was brushing against Dib's stomach. Taking his cue, Dib began pumping Zim to the timing of his thrusts. Zim was screaming in the ecstasy; Dib was streaming with pre-orgasmic sweat. The room began to reek like sex. "Dib! I-I-I'm gonna…!" Zim couldn't even finish his sentence before he exploded hot streams of purple cum, all over himself and his mate. Dib soon followed, screaming Zim's name.

The two were panting into each other's neck, riding out the after-tingles of orgasm. Dib gently kissed Zim on the lips, pulling out. The two stayed like that for a moment, just being together. The world didn't matter, not now. They had mated; they were tied together forever.

After a while, Dib sat up and removed the condom, once again following the instructions on the back of the box. He tossed it into an incinerator chute, hearing it spontaneously combust.

"Well, Dib-mate. I suppose we should obtain some sort of accessory that marks us as mated. What do you suggest?" Zim sat up on the bed, using the sheet to clean off his chest.

"Do you mean, like, wedding rings? I guess. It does make sense, now that I think about it. We can go shopping tomorrow, okay?" Dib turned back to the bed, having just been watching the incinerator.

"Alright. I love you, Dib-mate."

"I love you too, darling."


A/N: The sexy Chapter 4! And this is not the end! *evil laugh* UFO-shaped hickies are kinky... Review, please!