Alex's PoV

I was crying over the whole thing, that Mitchie had the guts to be mad at me. I can't blame her but I want to blame her for being so numb. I don't know if she's trying to forget or if she's just like that. I called Nate earlier asking if he can come over now that his shooting ended yesterday, a day earlier than Mitchie. He agreed to come by at night.

Mitchie introduced me and Nate and we got together for a couple of months before he came out to me. Yes, Nate Gray is gay. Well he's bisexual. Whatever. He likes both. So I came out to him too. I told him I was into Mitchie. Now Nate knows my deepest secrets that I couldn't tell Mitchie. Just the way he's told me all about his flings with some guys and girls during concerts and what not. Somehow, we connected. We told everyone we broke up due to schedules and stuff. The media weren't all over my face like they are supposed to, not that I'm complaining.

I was watching my usual remedy – Friends when I heard a knock on my window. My hurt thumped faster as I only knew one person who used to do that – Mitchie. Guess I was right. I turned and faced her, not caring that my face looked like a cross of tomato and river as I motioned her to come in. She went inand walked towards me as I faced the TV just in time for Nate to burst in.

"I came as soon as I got out the studio," he quickly said, not noticing Mitchie that fast. I turned towards him and nodded my head towards Mitchie.

"I see you've company," Mitchie butted in a cold voice.

"I uh.. I'll be downstairs if you need me," Nate said, knowing what to do in such situation.

I nodded in understanding. Mitchie sent daggers at him as he got out. She walked towards me and onto the arm of my couch.

"I didn't know you and Nate are back on," Mitchie said.

"We're not," I sniffed out as I wrapped myself in a blanket.

"Well why was he here?"

"He's my friend. Can't a friend come over?" I snapped back.

"Fine."

"Don't do that," I retorted.

"Do what?"

"That. Ugh. Whatever. Why are you here? You should've warned me," I replied. I didn't even know where I was getting the courage to answer back.

"Why? I can't surprise visit my bestfriend?" She replied and sat beside me.

"No, just - You should've at least told me," I replied, picking on my pickles.

"Well sorry for wanting to be here after months of not seeing you," she snapped at me and stood up. "I'm just gonna go now so you and Nate can go make out or something." She headed towards the window.

It's now or never.

"If you leave me right now, I'll never speak to you again." That froze her. I always stood by my words and she knew that. One time, I told her I'd kick the balls out of the guy who she used to date if he touches her again. I did. Very hard I might add. I also pulled the hair of the cheerleading bitch who made fun of her. I didn't just pull it though. I got the extensions out.

She turned back. "What is your problem Alex?" She asked in a tone.

"God, Mitchie. Why are you so thick? And numb?!" I retorted in pain, tears escaping my eyes as I shut the TV off. "Where's my bestfriend who used to know me well with just a single word? The one who knew something's up with just a face? Where's the Mitchie I grew up with?"

She stuttered for words. I stood up and walked towards her. Whatever this adrenaline I'm feeling right now that's making me go and work up the fucking courage to talk to her has got to stay put. I backed her up against my bed and she sat on it.

"Mitchie, why are you acting like nothing's wrong?" I added in a whisper.

"Alex," she took my hand. "I honestly have no idea what you're in to. I swear to God. I swear my whole career I don't know what you're talking about." She replied, her eyes pleading.

I sighed and snatched my hand away. "Mitchie I'm talking about us." I stared at her, waiting for something to sink in to her, turned away from her and headed to my couch. I felt arms wrap around my neck as she kissed my head. It sent shivers down my spine. She's never kissed me in two months.

"Alex, I'm so sorry about those pictures. I know that's one thing. I don't know about the other. I think you already know how much I like you." That is true. We confronted each other one sleepover night and it turns out, we're both crushing on each other. We never brought it up again after that night. I didn't know I would've gone further than that until recently. I accepted the fact that I'm attracted to her back then, I thought it was just a phase but just recently, I've accepted the fact that I've fallen for her. I don't know about her though.

"Mitch-"

"I think I know where you're getting at. But Alex, we can't. I'm so sorry."

"Why not?" I asked in a croaky voice as I removed her arms around me and faced her, pain evident in my face as I felt my heart break.

"Because...because it's wrong. And it's going to be hard on both of us. Maybe not you, but me, Alex, me. In the end, if this comes out, I just killed myself," she replied, I could hear the sincerity and fear in her voice as she gazed at me, tears threatening to fall any second. I knew how hard she worked for where she is right now but I'm not asking her to throw it away. I'm asking her to try and give us a try.

"What happened to the Mitchie who didn't care what others said? The Mitchie who did everything to be happy?" I asked, as tears spilt again. I don't know how much more of this rejection I could take. "Where's the Mitchie I fell for?" I whispered to myself.

"Fell?" Shoot. She heard. I didn't know it was loud enough to be heard. She didn't know that part. All she knows is that I like her more than a friend. She knew it was just an attraction. She's not supposed to know I love her.

"Mitch, maybe you should just go," I quickly said, my heart beating fast in anxiety as I tried to get her head somewhere else. She shook her head.

"I'm not leaving until you speak out." I sighed looking at her firm face. There was no getting out. Mitchie gets what she wants.

"Mitchie please. Not now. I don't feel well..." I sorta lied. I didn't want to talk about but I also felt kind of bad from crying almost all day. I wasn't ready as well. I don't know if I'll ever be ready to forget the total rejection I would soon get from her. I don't think I'll ever be ready for it in a million years.

"Tomorrow then," she casually replied.

"Yeah okay. Whatever." I didn't want to deal with this right now. This is so shitty.

"But I'm staying over," she decided. My eyes grew wide as my heart thumped faster, hairs stood in my neck. I wasn't ready to see her let alone spend the night with her.

"What?" I stuttered out.

"Is that a problem now?" She asked in a tone as her eyebrows rose.

"No I uh... I just didn't expect it," I honestly said as I shook my head.

"Oh wait, maybe you got stuff with Nate. I can sense you don't want me around. I guess I'll go," she replied in a tone I never heard her use before.

"Mitchiiiieeee."

"What? I get it. You don't want me around. I'm going. See you," she walked towards the window.

"Mitchie you can stay," I said as I looked away from her and to the TV screen. "Don't be stupid."

"What about Nate?" She asked like Nate was icky. He's her friend.

"I'll go talk to him," I replied as I headed towards the door.

This was gonna be a long night.


A/N: Sorry this was short but I'm changing some stuff about it along the way. RnR if you like it!