Fan fiction writer does not claim ownership! That would be stealing! And stealing is Evil! Silly little writer man is not a Villain who would steal ownership from the Rowling and the Corporations of Baldur's Gate Games. Are YOU a Villain? Say it is not so! Feel the burning stare of my hamster and change your ways!
Harry Potter and the Ranger and the Miniature Giant Space Hamster
Hagrid
"Harry! Hermione!" Hagrid said as he strode over. "When're yeh two gonna introduce me ter yehr new friend?"
"Who is this big hairy man?" Minsc asked with a bit of disbelief in his voice. "He is even bigger than Minsc! And I'm huge!"
"Oh, err…" Harry started, "Hagrid, meet Minsc. Minsc, Hagrid."
"Pleased ter meet yeh," Hagrid smiled as he extended his gigantic hand.
Minsc seemed happy to shake hands with the friendly half-giant.
"You shouldn't mention his size like that," Hermione leaned in close enough to whisper to the ranger, "he's a bit sensitive about it."
"That makes less sense than Minsc after a fresh head-wound!" he responded loud enough for everyone to hear. He turned to Hagrid, "If I was as big as you, all the world would know! My boot-prints on the backsides of Evil would cause Villainy to tremble in fear! And tremble they do!"
Hermione covered her face with her hands.
"Minsc has been teaching me about being a ranger," Harry said.
"Oh?" Hagrid asked, "What's tha' abou'?"
"Rangering is the noblest of all the many paths a man of Rashemen can follow! We learn to see the trees and plants of the forests, and wander through them as the squirrel frolics after his nuts. We make friends with the bears and wolves and learn to stalk in the shadows. And then we JUMP out at Evil and WRING its scrawny little neck! Ha HA!"
"Err…" Harry started.
But a strange twinkle had come into Hagrid's eyes.
"Yeh like the little beasties in the fores', do yeh?"
"Yes, some of my best friends have been bears and birds. I even learned how to head-butt from a mountain ram!"
"That explains a lot," Hermione grumbled.
"The beasts of the wilds have much wisdom to share," Minsc continued. "Harry Potter says that I teach him the ways of rangering, but it is not so! In truth it is Boo who does the teaching! I mostly do the kicking and sword swinging!"
Boo squeaked and Minsc held out the hamster for Hagrid to see.
"Aww," Hagrid bent down and cooed at the rodent, "Aren' yeh a cute little critter…"
Minsc seemed a little offended at the comment.
"Boo is no critter! Boo is not cute! Boo is the only miniature giant space hamster in all the realms!"
Boo squeaked in agreement.
"And he is the fiercest of warriors! The Villainous hive of ice weasels still shudders at the name of Boo! See his righteous glare and change your ways! Or you will know what it is like to be a weasel too!"
"Aww," Hagrid continued his cooing. "Does he know any tricks?"
"Oh yes," Minsc said with an emphatic nod of his head, "he knows 'roll over' and 'play dead.' And sometimes he likes to play 'hide and seek!'"
Harry shuddered and decided not to think too much about the rodent playing hide and seek while never leaving Minsc's person.
"Maybe yeh'd like ter come over fer some tea?" Hagrid asked as he straightened back up and the twinkle in his eyes grew. "I've got a few critters meself. Harmless little darlin's mostly. I like ter keep 'em company. An' I could show yeh 'round the forest too, if yeh're int'rested."
Minsc gasped in wonder.
"You know the ways of the rangers?!"
Boo squealed in excitement.
"Well now, I woundn' say tha', but I am the Gamekeeper here at Hogwarts," Hagrid puffed out his chest in pride, "an' I do know the forest better 'n the back o' me own hand!"
"Boo thinks that's just ducky! We accept!" The two large men smiled at one another. "And in exchange Boo and I shall teach you the secrets of the rangers! Boo says you're almost there already. You know the trees. You know the beasts. Now all that's left is the kicking of Evil in the head! And you're huge too! You could probably swing swords bigger than even Minsc has swung!"
"Okay," Hagrid agreed as he and Minsc started to walk off toward the Gamekeeper's hut. "Don' think I've ever swung a sword before…"
"It is easy! First you find a sword. Then you find Evil. And then you beat the Evil in its soft, squishy underbelly with the sword until it changes its ways to goodness! Or until it stops moving. Whichever comes first."
"Do you have a bad feeling about this?" Harry asked Hermione.
"Yes, Harry," she replied as Minsc and Hagrid walked away. "Yes I definitely do."
AN: Thoughts?
The cover image for this fic (when it loads) is used with permission from NixxiCal on Deviantart dot com. She's got some awesome Baldur's Gate character images. Check it out!
Thanks for your reviews. And thanks for reading!
