A/N - The chapters begin getting longer from here on out. I've thought about adding some sort of conflict to this, but beyond the stress of Toudai exams, I honestly don't think that much conflict belongs here. Keitaro and Shinobu have already been through five years of missed chances and happenstance, and I'd much prefer to write about the blossoming of what I feel is a very beautiful relationship. The characters deserve that much, don't you think?
I've edited Chapter 3 to clarify something: as YinYang175 correctly pointed out, Shinobu should have had school on Saturday. Indeed, my original intention was for her to skip class that day, but I couldn't figure out how to include it. I had added Akiko to the second chapter after I wrote Chapter 3, and when I re-read it today after getting his review, a solution presented itself. So, thank you for the inspiration. For the rest of my reviewers, I'm more than happy to incorporate changes where I'm unclear, unsure, or just plain factually incorrect. Really, I'd much rather be right in the long run.
Again, I don't own Love Hina, but a hostile takeover is being considered in the board room as we speak.
Chapter 4 - Discussions
They came home late, that night. No one was waiting for them, since Keitaro had been very explicit about where they were going and that there was no reason to worry. He gave Shinobu a quick kiss goodnight and walked down the hall to his room. No light was coming from the hole in his ceiling, but Keitaro remembered that Saturdays were the days Narusegawa usually spent doing research, so she was either pulling an all-nighter in the college, or she was already asleep. He decided not to disturb her, and promised himself he'd talk to her as soon as he could on Sunday. He heard a light tapping at his door, and said, "Come in!"
Kitsune slid the door open and smiled. "So, how'd your date with Shinobu go, Keitaro?" she asked, expecting to get a rise out of him.
Keitaro laughed, and motioned her to come in and sit. "Funny you should ask that," he said. "I think I'll try this out with you, first, because you're the least violent girl here."
Kitsune cocked her head, intrigued. "Oh? And what exactly do you want to tell me?"
Keitaro smiled. "I'm in love, Kitsune," he said.
Kitsune blushed, and waved him off, frantically. "Nooooo, we can't be in love, it'd be too weird, and Naru would kill me!"
Keitaro laughed. "No, Kitsune. You're a great girl, and you're a wonderful friend, but I'm in love with someone else."
Kitsune's blush faded a bit, and she said, "Oh? You wouldn't bring it up if it were Naru. You don't mean...?"
Keitaro nodded. "Yes. I'm in love with Shinobu. She told me how she felt, and I feel the same way."
Kitsune laughed, delighted. "Well, isn't that precious! I'm so happy for you!"
"You're not upset with me or anything?" Keitaro asked, incredulously.
"What? Of course not! Shinobu loves you with all her heart, and she's not going to be afraid to show it, unlike some people I know," Kitsune said, glaring at the hole in the ceiling. "She's not here, by the way. Said she had thesis work to do. Reminds me of why I never went to college."
Keitaro nodded. "That's good," he said. "I didn't really know how to bring it up with her, and I'm a little scared for my life."
Kitsune grinned. "That's the risk you take around our Naru, but you knew that already."
"So, what do you think, Kitsune-san?" Keitaro asked.
"I think I'm jealous of Shinobu. What I wouldn't give to have my first love fall for me like that," she said, wistfully.
Keitaro laughed, softly. Seta-san is a nice guy, he thought, but he's a little oblivious. He said, "Y'know, you should just tell him how you feel, someday. He won't figure it out, otherwise."
Kitsune patted his shoulder. "But where's the fun in that?" she asked, then laughed. "Who am I fooling? I know I seem all worldly and experienced, but I'm not, not even a little bit. I'm just as innocent as Shinobu, except that the guy I love is even slower on the uptake." She winked at Keitaro, then yawned and stretched. "Ahh, it's late, and I've got some writing to do." She stood up and smiled at him. "I'll catch you later, okay? I wish you and Shinobu the absolute best. Goodnight!" she said, and slid the door closed after she left.
Keitaro smiled after her, and said to himself, "Maybe he'll figure it out the way I did. The poor guy has no idea what he's in for, though..."
-----
Early Sunday morning, Shinobu told Keitaro that she'd talked to Su in the late hours of the night, and she smiled. "She was happy. Very happy. I guess she was really worried about me, and she's glad I'm happy again. I told her to wait to let others know, and she said she would. She can be pretty serious, when she puts her mind to it."
Keitaro smiled, too. "I haven't talked to Motoko-san, yet, but Kitsune-san was perfectly happy for us. It's a little strange, though: she didn't seem to be interested in finding some sort of profit in this for her. She didn't even bat an eyelash." Keitaro laughed, and said, "Plus, I think she was excited about the fact that it guarantees the food she'll find here will still be great, and there's a little intrigue in there for her, to boot."
Shinobu smiled and squeezed his hand. "You go find Motoko-san, Kei-kun. I've got some laundry to do. I'll meet you in your room when I'm done," she said.
Keitaro smiled and leaned over, kissing her forehead. "Okay," he said. "I'll talk to her. Wish me luck!" With that, he left Shinobu and walked upstairs to Motoko's room. He looked at the forbidding blankness of the door, and sighed, nervously. "Well, no time like the present," he said, and knocked lightly.
"Come in," Motoko's voice came from inside, firmly, as always.
Keitaro slid the door aside, and looked in. Motoko was sitting in a meditative pose, eyes closed, but didn't seem to be disturbed by his presence. "What can I do for you, Urashima-san?"
Keitaro had never felt quite as awkward as he did in that moment, not knowing exactly how to begin. "Well... Motoko-san... there's something I wanted to tell you."
Motoko blushed lightly, but didn't show any reaction other than that. "And what is it you would like to say, Urashima-san?"
Keitaro found himself reaching new levels of awkwardness with every word, and managed to say, "It's about Narusegawa-san, and you, and everyone here in the Hinatasou."
Motoko opened her eyes and looked at him, interested. "What do you mean?"
Keitaro felt his face flush, and said, "I can't beat around the bush. I have to say it... but I'm afraid to say it. Argh, why does honesty always have to be so hard?"
Motoko smiled, amused by his discomfiture, and said, "I suppose you may have noticed that I tend to be direct about my feelings, in most things. But for me, my feelings for other people are most closely guarded. Is it about this that you wish to speak?"
Keitaro nodded, grateful that she understood. "I don't want to hurt anyone with what I say, because I like everyone here so much."
Motoko blushed softly, almost imperceptibly, and said, "I have to admit I had many, many doubts about you, Urashima-san, but you've proven yourself a good man at every turn. So I'd have to say that I like you as well."
Keitaro smiled at her, "That's a relief. I'd hoped that you weren't secretly plotting some way to test your experimental techniques on me." He looked at the ceiling, and sighed, saying, "Anyway, the reason I came is... I've come to a decision about someone. About more than one person, actually."
Motoko's cheeks flared, but she remained silent, not giving away her anticipation.
Keitaro said, softly, "I loved Naru-san very much, once. I thought it was fate, and perhaps it was. My feelings for her led me to remain here, with all of you. But I waited for so long that it hurts too much to wait anymore. I don't feel the same way as I used to, and if that makes me a bad person, then I apologize."
Motoko shook her head. "Time changes all things. It strengthens some while it wears others to nothingness. I know you tried, Urashima-san."
Keitaro sighed again, and said, "This is the hardest part... promise you won't kill me?"
Motoko pretended to think, then said, "As long as you don't say you're eloping with Tama-chan, I believe I'll be alright."
Keitaro nodded and closed his eyes, steeling himself, just in case. "I love Shinobu, Motoko-san. It's not out of some sort of perversion or lechery: I love how she makes me feel and how she's been by my side through everything I've done in the past five years."
Motoko was struck silent, and closed her eyes, as well, calming herself, trying to find the right answer to such a strong admission. She knew that Keitaro wasn't really a pervert, though he did unknowingly put himself in situations where that would be the assumption. She knew that Shinobu was seven years his junior, but then, Shinobu had always been more self-sufficient and, at times, mature than any of the rest of them, and she knew how Shinobu felt about him. She wanted to find true reasons to oppose his love, but grasped at nothing. Nothing, except for her own suppressed and unuttered feelings, and her disappointment at the fact that he didn't choose her, and she looked at those calmly. She thought, Perhaps I should've told him of these feelings I had. I almost wish I had. However, fate does as it will, and I am not one who would stand in its path. Fate wills that this happens, and so, I must find the good in what comes.
Keitaro leaned over and looked at her face, which was a storm of conflicting emotions kept under a thin veneer of calm. He patiently waited for her to answer him, but when she opened her eyes, he was surprised to see tears forming in the corners.
Motoko sniffed softly, and wiped at her eyes. "Had I only said so sooner, it would not have come to this. Fair enough, though. I very much liked you, Keitaro-san, but I have no reason to oppose your feelings. Forgive me for my own admission."
Keitaro blushed. Motoko was a stunning young woman, and he was more than a little flattered by her admission. He smiled, a little sadly. "There's nothing to forgive, Motoko-chan. I'm amazed, actually, but then, everything these past couple of days has been amazing." He paused, then asked, tentatively, "Would you like me to leave you alone, for now, and let you think?"
Motoko smiled. "Please, Urashima-senpai. That would be appreciated."
Keitaro left her room, smiling. Motoko was wise beyond her years, and she had matured greatly from the fearsome Kendo Girl he remembered. He knew that, if worse came to worst, he could depend on her to be calm and levelheaded. "Except where turtles are concerned," he said, glancing over at Tama-chan, who was hovering beside him down the hall.
Tama-chan raised one flipper in greeting. "Myu?"
Keitaro scratched the hot-springs turtle lightly on its head. "And what do you think, Tama-chan?" The turtle just smiled and did a couple of small loops, happily, myu-ing. "I'm glad to hear that," Keitaro said. He walked to his room and waited for Shinobu to finish her laundry, happy that he'd been able to explain to Motoko how he felt without hurting her deeply.
-----
Shinobu finished folding the last of her laundry, and took the linens up to the deck to hang them. She had just hung the last sheet when she heard a soft voice behind her. "Shinobu-chan?"
Shinobu turned and looked into Naru's eyes, and a wave of nervousness washed over her. "Yes, Naru-senpai, what is it?"
Naru patted her shoulder softly. "I'm sorry about the test results," she said. "If there's anything I can do to help you, just tell me, okay?"
Shinobu nodded. "I will, Naru-senpai." She looked away, briefly, then turned back to Naru and said, "Senpai, there's something I need to talk with you about."
Naru had turned to go, but looked at Shinobu and said, "Really? What is it, Shinobu-chan?"
"It's about Keitaro."
Naru didn't notice the difference in the name Shinobu called him until a couple of seconds had gone by. A cold feeling settled in the pit of her stomach, but she put on an impassive face, and said, "What about him?"
Shinobu looked her directly in the eyes, and seemed to Naru to draw herself up, defiantly. "You know how I feel about him, Naru-san. Don't pretend you don't."
Naru flinched, but the cold feeling grew, joined by not a little anger. "Fine, I won't," she said, testily. "You have a crush on him. What did you want to talk about?"
Shinobu's eyes flashed angrily, back. "It is not a crush, Narusegawa. I love him."
Naru waved her hand dismissively. "Okay, whatever. So what did you want to tell me?"
Shinobu glared at her, and said, almost triumphantly. "And he loves me, Narusegawa."
Naru froze. "What did you say?"
Shinobu smiled, her anger and nervousness vanishing, leaving behind only calm. "He loves me, Naru-senpai. We talked for hours about this." Naru made a move to speak, but Shinobu said, uncharacteristically forcefully, "Do not interrupt me, Naru. I am eighteen, now. I am not a child anymore. If this had been a child's crush, then it would surely have vanished in the last couple of years. It hasn't, and it won't. If anyone had a crush on him, you did."
Naru's temper flared. "It wasn't a crush! I... I like him!" she cried, realizing as she did how empty those words sounded.
Shinobu sighed. "No, you love him. Or, rather, loved him. You should've told him, Naru-san. He waited for years for you to say anything, to give him even the slightest bit of hope. You did, once, when he gave you that ring. But then, you had said similar things before. You told me you loved him, and then you lied about it. To me, even though you knew how I felt! How could you be so childish?"
Naru drew back, and tears sprang to her eyes. "You don't know what you're..."
Shinobu cut her off. "Yes, I do, Narusegawa. You wanted his attention all to yourself, and you liked loving and being loved, but you never had the courage to be in love. I waited for years for you to make a decision. He used to come to me, you know. Sometimes, when you'd rejected him, he'd come to me for strength, because I cared about him in ways you never would. Nothing physical, like you were always afraid of. I gave him emotional strength. I had faith in him. But I always sent him back to you. I pushed him away even though I hated to. Even though I just wanted to hold onto him forever, I wanted him to be happy, so I sent him to you. And then, you'd make him unhappy. How do you think I felt?"
Naru couldn't respond to that, and sat down hard on the deck. "But... I didn't mean..."
Shinobu kneeled down next to her. "I know you didn't mean to, Naru-senpai. But many hurtful things are done without bad intentions. He likes you, still, Naru, but I won't send him back, this time."
Naru wrapped her arms around herself, and cried. When Shinobu rested a hand on her shoulder, she threw it off and ran downstairs, sobbing. Shinobu shook her head and frowned. She quickly gathered her things and walked down to Keitaro's room. When she got there, Keitaro was brewing two cups of tea. She smiled at him, a little sadly, and sat across the table from him. "I talked to Naru-senpai, Keitaro. She was... upset, to say the least. I suppose I was, too. We had some things to talk about."
Keitaro sighed. "Should I go to her?" he asked.
Shinobu lowered her head in thought, then raised it and said, "Kei-kun, I think she needs to come to you this time. She did love you, deeply, but so did I. I waited and waited for her, because I wanted you to be happy, and I never thought you could be happy with me. I don't feel that way anymore. She had five years to tell you truly how she felt, without backing out. But you always would go to her to explain, or apologize, and you don't have to do either this time. I won't ever apologize for loving you again, and I hope you don't feel like you should, either." She slipped her hand into his and squeezed it, nodding toward the teacups. "Kei-kun, the twigs are floating upright. Good luck."
Keitaro laughed softly, and said, "The only other time I remember that happening here, Motoko tried to kill me, so I'm not sure if..." Keitaro trailed off as Shinobu surprised him by leaning over the table, pulling him close, and kissing him, soundly. "Well, now. That was much better luck," he said, smiling brightly.
Shinobu blushed softly, and slid over to sit next to him, drinking her tea very quietly. Many thoughts, some unfamiliar, were flying through her mind. Wow. I always thought that I'd just be satisfied kissing him, but now... I want more. That sounds so bad, but I never really thought beyond the kiss until now. Someday when we're sure of what's going on, and where we're each headed, we can make that decision. I know everyone says Keitaro is a lecher and a pervert, but I know he's not. He's a gentleman, really, who's just a bit of a klutz. But he makes me want to experience so much more. Shinobu blushed deeper at the thought, and rested her head lightly on Keitaro's shoulder. "When Naru-senpai comes, I'll let the two of you talk. I don't want to make her feel like we're shutting her out."
Keitaro nodded, and tentatively slipped his arm around Shinobu's shoulder. She smiled at him and moved closer. "This is so nice," she said.
Keitaro smiled back. "It really is."
-----
Naru knocked on the board on her floor that separated Keitaro's room from hers. He called up to her to wait a moment, and let Shinobu go off to begin making dinner for the residents of the Hinatasou. Naru slid down the makeshift ladder they'd constructed a couple years back, and sat down on his floor, avoiding his eyes.
Keitaro frowned, and asked, "Naru-chan, have I hurt you?"
Naru flinched, gritting her teeth and willing her tears to stay in her eyes. "I don't know. I hurt, but I don't know whose fault it is."
Keitaro nodded, still frowning. "Maybe... it wasn't one person or the other who was at fault. I don't know what I might've done differently in the days back when you and I first tried. I gave you a ring, but maybe that wasn't enough. I don't really understand what happened, though."
Naru couldn't listen to him without tears escaping her eyes, and hissed in an angry whisper, "I... think it was my fault, Keitaro. I felt like I could never live with the eyes of everyone in the Hinatasou and everywhere else on me. I know they all love me, but they love you, too, in different ways. Kitsune sees you as a brother, I think. Mutsumi sees you as... I don't even know. Su thinks you're lots of fun. Motoko has... or had, I guess... a crush on you. And Shinobu..." Naru trailed off, crying softly into her hands. "I couldn't do it, Keitaro. I was so afraid, I didn't even try."
Keitaro just listened to her, encouraging her to speak.
"I know that things fail so often, but I guess that I should've at least tried. I mean, the cliche rings true, doesn't it? 'If you never try, you've already failed,' or something like that. I really did love you, Keitaro, but I couldn't seem to get past the misgivings I had about everyone else."
Keitaro frowned more. "If you didn't have any misgivings about us, you shouldn't have worried, because we'd have proven them wrong with our love. But there's more, isn't there?"
Naru nodded, miserably. "I was scared you'd find one of them better than me... and I was scared I'd do something to kill your feelings. I didn't want to risk that, because I liked how you felt about me." Naru smiled, humorlessly.
Keitaro shook his head. "Forever holding hands, no more, no less... I couldn't do that. I guess I didn't, did I?"
Naru nodded again. "I should've thought of that. I know you felt strongly for me, and I felt strongly for you, as well, but I must've been insane to think that you'd wait for me to make up my mind about you forever..."
Keitaro interrupted her, feelings of bitterness rising unbidden, and said quietly, "Except that you'd already made your mind up about me. You just refused to act on it. If you'd truly not known how you felt, I could've waited forever for you to decide. But to have you come so close, so many times, and pull away as soon as someone noticed... that's brutal, Narusegawa, and it hurt too much to bear. I feel a little guilty, but I keep thinking that it shouldn't have been up to me to wait, if you knew how you felt."
Naru felt tears spring to her eyes, and wrapped her arms around her knees. "I don't know, Keitaro. I know I should've said something, but if you loved me that much, then why did you stop?"
Keitaro shook his head. "It's not like I don't love you, Naru-san. I do. Just not in a romantic way. I'd be devastated if I were without you, but that's because you're my friend and confidante, and because I trust you. You're my best friend."
Naru hid her head so Keitaro couldn't see the tears streaming down her cheeks. "But... I feel so lonely, Keitaro. I never felt lonely because you were always there. Who is there now, for me?"
Keitaro smiled and reached over to squeeze Naru's hand. "There are many, many people who will find you both smart and beautiful, like I do, and you won't worry about deciding whether you're right or wrong with them. Someday, you'll see someone, and it'll feel like you've been struck by a bolt of lightning, and you won't ever be afraid again."
Naru coughed out a quiet sob, and looked at him, shaking her head. "I don't know... will I?"
Keitaro nodded, firmly. "You will, Naru-san, most certainly. And when you do, it won't be confusing at all. Everything will be so clear that you'll think you're dreaming." He got up, and smiled sheepishly. "It's getting pretty close to dinnertime. Would you like to come down to the dining rooms with me?"
Naru stood and nodded, then leaned over and wrapped her arms tightly around him. "Keitaro, I'm so sorry for hurting you. Can you forgive me?" she said, burrowing her face into his chest.
Keitaro hugged her back and stroked her hair lightly. "Only if you forgive me for the same."
Naru smiled and sniffled. "Okay. You mean so much to me, Keitaro, I don't want to lose you as a friend." She pulled back and wiped her eyes. "Now, we need to get down to dinner." An old, familiarly threatening gleam appeared in her eyes. "And you won't suggest that anything happened while we were alone, right?"
Keitaro laughed nervously. "Of course not, Naru-san. But everyone else already knows about me and Shinobu-chan, so they won't even think that. Well, maybe Kitsune..." he trailed off as they walked to the dining room.
