Tigress was tearing apart the Training Hall. She hadn't spoken to the others about Gutou's scroll.

One crazy camel, another equally crazy python, and a somewhat less crazy rat were the ones responsible for the upcoming crime. Not that she'd let them get very far. Apparently they'd tunnelled to the vaults from a rented property opposite, and were going to breach it on midday when the guard were on lunch break. She was suspicious, of course, but that wasn't going to stop her from doing everything in her power to get the money. And currently, the only things in her way were the wooden crocs of the training hall. By the time she was done only splinters remained, her paws were numb beyond imagination and the rest of the five were standing and staring.

"What?" She demanded, her paws crossed over her chest.

"Well we were gonna train." Mantis pointed out. "But it seems you've been up all night destroying anything and everything here."

"Yeah... are you okay?" Crane asked.

"I'm fine." She replied tensely. Noone believed her. Tigress pushed past them anyways.


A while later...


"Guys, do you think something's up with Tigress?" Mantis gave voice to the question buzzing through all their minds.

Monkey and Crane were with him, the latter stirring tea leaves into boiling water.

"Yes." Monkey replied immediately. "If only more people had come to my show." The simian huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"No I mean... something else. She's not in the Jade Palace-"

"Let's follow her again. Because that turned out great last time." The avian moved the tea off the heater. "Maybe you can just drop it."

Suddenly Viper burst in on them. "Guys I think Tigress is going to stop a bank robbery!"

The trio raised their eyebrows. "And you know this, how?"

"There was a scroll in her room."

Crane looked at Mantis, Mantis looked at Monkey and Monkey looked at Crane.

Finally Crane spoke. "Well let's go help her then."

"Wait! Hold up!" Mantis demanded. "So going into her room and reading her stuff is okay, but following her is not?"


Midday was fast approaching by the time Tigress found the address. As quietly as she could, she shoved the door open (she'd never learned to pick a lock, though Viper had offered to teach her once), breaking the lock and allowing her entrance into the crime scene. These people were not trying to be subtle, judging from the somewhat loud arguing coming from an uncovered tunnel right bang-splat in the middle of the room. She had really been expecting a little more professionalism.

Silent as the grave, Tigress hopped into the tunnel, landing softly on all fours. Her eyes took a brief moment to adjust to the darkness, before they noted the light flickering ahead. The tunnel was large enough to walk in, but Tigress remained crouching. The smaller her shadow the less likely she was to be spotted. It was not a very long tunnel, and her sensitive ears caught every word of her quarry's conversation.

"Look I really think we can make this work." Said one voice. Half-pleading. "We had a good thing going-"

"Before you landed me in jail!" Snapped a second. Female. "You said it was an easy job!"

"And it was-"

"It was a set up!"

"Okay, yeah, that was my bad. But we won't need to do any more jobs."

"Here we go again." Came a gruff voice, exasperated.

"Nice cottage, by the sea, middle of nowhere. If you want kids we can adopt some. I know this one guy-"

"Gutou again." Came the second voice.

"Look, he didn't ask for this kind of life. Unlike us. We're not getting any younger and we might as well retire somewhere where no one knows who we are-"

"Just pick the lock." The gruff voice demanded.

The first voice, sighed, and now Tigress was close enough to make out her opponent's outlines. The rat was, naturally, smaller, wearing red and humming as he placed minute little sachets on a lock. Jixiao, Tigress reminded herself. Thief and con artist of gigantic proportions. No pun intended. The python was extremely large, with coils that seemed to never run out. Green, dark green, patterned and wearing nothing but makeup. Juda. Occultist serial killer... the worst kind of serial killer. And finally, Chi, a tall, wide and burly camel, with blood slowly sliding down from his eyes, nose, ears, and the edge of his hooves. Mad scientist, serial killer, kidnapper. She'd heard of him before. Mostly because it had been Shifu himself who'd defeated the madman and thrown him in jail many years ago for a horrific crime Tigress had been too young to know the details of. Though the rumours were enough to make her want to steer clear of him.

There was a tiny explosion as the little sachets in the lock spontaneously combusted, creating a much larger hole, one that a rat would have no problem squeezing into.

"We'll talk later then. Can I get a lift?" When it became obvious that no one was going to lift him up to lock-height, he sighed resignedly and clambered up the wall and into the hole. He blew a kiss in Juda's direction, giving the snake a loudly whispered 'love you', before disappearing inside.

"You should consider filing for divorce." The camel said.

Juda pouted. "Why would I waste a perfectly good meal?"

Both chuckled.

"With Jixiao, you gotta always be available, but never be available. Do you get that?"

The camel shrugged. "Just thought you might be interested in a change of cronies."

"Are you offering?"

"Nope."

"Then I'll stick with what I've got." They succumbed to silence. "What are you planning to do with your cut?"

"This and that. I've got one project I'm really looking forwards to funding. My research will finally be complete."

The python cocked her head to the side. "Well that's always fun. What's the job?"

Tigress crept forwards. She would take Chi out first, then Juda. The rat shouldn't be difficult. She just needed to get to them as silently as possible. If either turned around now they'd see her and there would go her element of surprise.

"SURPRISE!" The vault door flew open, revealing Crane, Viper, Mantis and Monkey, standing on the pile of yuan, and a very beaten-up Jixiao groaning in the corner.

Tigress almost facepalmed. She still had the advantage though, no one knew she was there.

"Hi Tigress!" Waved Monkey, grinning wickedly.

She guessed not.


"How will this help me discover inner peace?" Shifu tried very hard not to sound annoyed. It was difficult to say the least. Not that there was anything wrong with the massage he was currently getting, it was just that... massages and him weren't really a match made in heaven.

"What's up with your tension?" Asked the masseuse. A gorilla with a surprisingly soft touch. "It's like so off the charts. Do you even sleep?"

"He lies awake at night thinking of cruel and unusual ways to punish his students." Oogway said lightly. "Shifu, not everything is about Kung Fu."

And this was coming from the founder of Kung Fu. Oogway never failed to get on his nerves. "Very well." Is what he said. For he'd lived with the tortoise long enough to be used to his eccentricies. Still he couldn't help feeling like something was going on...


To say the criminals were surprised would be an understatement. However, they reacted quickly to the group's sudden offensive.

Chi caught Crane's leg and Monkey's hand in his large hooves.

"You don't wear a belt for your pants?" Monkey's eyes were as wide as saucers. This was Oogway all over again! The camel twisted wordlessly and hurled them both into the wall. Tigress tried to get the jump on him, but Juda barged her into the side of the tunnel, knocking the wind out of the feline. Before the python could strike again, Mantis grabbed her by the tail and pulled her backwards, so that her attack fell short. Before Juda could react once more Tigress slammed her fist into the side of the snake's head.

"I had it completely under control!" She dodged Chi's wild swing, and went in with her signature Double Palm Strike. The camel barely flinched as both her paws scored a direct hit to his chest.

He headbutted her, and Tigress' head shook from the force of the blow. He raised his paw to swing at her head, but Monkey was faster, and held it back. Viper curled around one leg and pulled, allowing Mantis a direct hit to what was between them.

"Yeah, right." The insect shot back, smirking in smug satisfaction as the large mammal stumbled to his knees.

Juda was the next to strike. Her tail batted Mantis back into the wall.

"I'm okay!" He wheezed, the impact having knocked the wind out of him.

Monkey charged forwards with a simian screech and snatching at the vault door, used it to launch himself at the large python. Juda swerved to the side to avoid him and Monkey kept going forwards till gravity caught up to him and he slid to the floor.

"This is not fair! You're not wearing a belt either!"

"She's not wearing pants Monkey!" Crane was, probably more than anyone else, hampered by the limited space. What was the point of wings if you couldn't fly with them? Or even stretch them out fully!

Chi was stumbling away into the vault, where he snatched at a sack full of coins. Tigress did not let him get very far. She slammed her foot into the back of his knee, letting him collapse forwards once more. She followed up with a swift downwards punch to the head. The camel fell forwards and remained still. As she was turning around she caught sight of the rat trying to sneak out himself.

"Oh no you don't!" Pouncing forwards she closed the gap between them in seconds, but the rat was ready and a second later she was blinded by a flash of white light. She swiped madly, and felt her paw smack him away, but did not know where he landed. She tried blinking the light out of her eyes, but to no avail, and so she found herself stumbling through the sea of coins.

A heavy, blunt object slammed into the side of her head, and she was dizzy with pain. Distantly she heard Viper call her name.


Footnote: This would have been up a while ago, but I have this really weird version of writer's block where I can write virtually anything... except a fight scene. Case in point I have the next chapter already written and the one after that is half-written. Though I'm going to hold onto them for a while longer so that I can finish up the climatic fight scene.

Jixiao and Juda won't be seen again in this fic, though Jixiao does have some future prospects, mainly to do with Gutou. Juda however... I promise nothing but she was never that interesting a character. I suppose we'll see some flashbacks of her here and there but nothing much. Chi however does have a role in this fic... in regards to his research.

Enjoy.