Disclaimer: All recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. All original characters and plot are the property of the author. No copyright infringement is intended.
Thanks to everyone putting up with my horrendous typos/punctuation sins.
Sentenced to the pit, McKenna setup the layout for the orchestra for the coming week. The band teacher also teased her about upsetting the glee-boat but her hidden smile told her she was proud of her as well. McKenna had sung her whole life, mostly indulging in classical or jazz genres but allowing the rare musical to worm its way into her heart. The insinuation that it was faux pas to try out for what was posted as an 'open try-out' just didn't make sense to her. But then she remembered Rachel Berry's expression of almost violation and she began to feel like she had indeed trespassed on the girl's proverbial private, artistic property.
From what she had gathered, the glee club was a very tight knit group. Like a family. And if someone barged into it uninvited it would obviously stir up some mixed feelings. McKenna skipped over the thought that this may be the only possible way of getting to know Sam better. Why she found him interesting she couldn't put a finger on but she had a feeling it would be impossible to find out anyway.
"Try to think first before you do something stupid." She said to herself as she closed her locker an hour later. Registering late sentenced her to a locker in an out-of-the-way wing of the school and she did not see anyone from the auditorium. Which again was ok with her. She had a self diagnosis of social-anxiety and preferred the quiet of her own thoughts after a long day of having to make eye contact and conversation with other people.
Leaving the books she wouldn't need for the weekend, she pulled her bag over her shoulder and moved to the doors of the school. The chill of the evening rushed past her as she went through the exit. It must be after 7 o'clock. She pulled her hoodie up, her long hair falling down either side of her neck onto her chest. Pulling out her hand held gaming console she began to walk towards the lit football field.
"McKenna?"
The voice brought her head around immediately. Sam was walking up to her as the doors of the school closed behind him. She stopped as he caught up to her and she tried to keep the look of pleasant surprise and nervousness off her face.
"Hey Sam right?" she asked warmly.
He looked back at the school from her a little awkwardly, "Hey yeah. Um, so what was that?"
McKenna blinked again, deciding that he wasn't saying it as a challenge but more as someone who genuinely wanted to know why she had walked into the glee house and cooked a toaster pastry. That didn't make any sense.
She had an idea of what he wanted but she couldn't help her inborn cheekiness, "What was what? Oh, that's a nasty place they call a High School. Where they indoctrinate you into thinking that creamed beans won't kill you. I advise you steer clear of it."
Instead of the laugh she had hoped she would get from him, he looked even more confused. 'Strike one', she thought and frowned.
"Oh, heh, no I mean, you have...a great voice." he complimented her genuinely.
Had he been looking for her? The sudden idea made her more nervous. Happy nervous?
"Thanks, well, I like to sing." Yep she was nervous and again repressed the urge to facepalm herself.
"I guess I'm just surprised that, you know, you're not in glee club or something. You should be." Sam relented.
Shrugging, McKenna replied, "Oh covering popsongs and trying to dance all sexy really isn't...something I do in public. Maybe when I mow the lawn."
This time she got a laugh from him, "Well, I think you could do one of those talent search shows and be famous or something. A lot of the people in glee I think could." he seemed to be relaxing a little.
She couldn't help herself and grinned, "No no no no, I want to do something fun like be a tower crane operator or a cranberry farmer."
He laughed again, "Oh, illusions of being taller huh? You could probably pull off the hip-boots. Is that a CS?" he pointed to the forgotten console in her hand and she had to look back at it to remember.
"Yeah, I have to play it after I get super nervous."
"You were nervous? You didn't seem nervous." he said.
"Terrified." she bit her lip.
A contagious smile spread on his face, "I remember when I first started here, I'd get all sarcastic too. Do dorky impressions. 'Cut me Mick.' " The last phrase he did with a horrible Brooklyn accent.
"Rocky?"
"Yeah! Most of the time people don't get those." Sam was taken back.
Mckenna shrugged, "Rocky's one of my favorite films." she admitted. "'If you wanna dance, ya gotta pay the band, if ya wanna borrow, you gotta pay the man. Come on, gimmie some money.'"
"And I thought I sounded bad." he shook his head. Sam looked in the direction she had been heading, "Were you going to the game?"
She nodded, "Yeah, I have to give one of your more severely concussionized players a ride home, so I'm stuck here."
"Oh," he began, looking as though he had something else he was going to say then decided against it, "I'm going that way too."
"Aren't you on the team Sam? It seems you gleekers have a lot of stuff you all do. It's impressive."
He smiled and shrugged, "Yeah, but my shoulder's injured. Well this is my last game I have to miss, I can play at the game in two weeks. So you like football?"
McKenna's face soured before she could stop it and he caught the expression.
"What?" he asked as they began to walk down the sidewalk to the stadium.
"Well, I'm more into international football, Soccer. This, how you say, american football is like watching a train wreck complete with time stoppage whiplash." She winked at him before she thought better of it.
Cheesy, she knew, at a time like this she just figured it was who she was and if it weirded someone out then it's better to find out now.
'Consider yourself warned blondie' she said to him silently.
But he didn't seem uncomfortable, he did however counter, "Hey, I play football, this football!" he defended with a half hearted and unexpected shoulder bump which sent her flying.
"And I'm sure you rock the tight pants and mouth guard…" She stumbled to recover.
'Ugh, did I just say that?' She flinched.
He reached up and flicked one of the fuzzy ears on the hoodie and laughed, "And you can say that because you're wearing...what exactly...is that..?" he squinted at the ears.
"Yes," she sighed, "I'm a rehabilitated teddy bear poacher. I've paid my debt to stuffed animal society and am no longer a threat to their little textile bodies." she blurted.
This time he laughed for a while, she tried to keep her face straight but she giggled too.
"You're pretty weird aren't you?" he concluded honestly with a smile.
"Probably." was all she could come up with as they entered the filling stands.
She climbed up to the top, surprised when she saw him following, but he didn't sit down on the cold, metal bench as she did. His gaze was directed towards the cheerleaders who were collecting on the track lanes that framed the field.
One girl, Quinn in particular was walking up to the others. She was the one he was looking at. Something in McKenna's chest began to settle and sink. She swept a frown away from her face quickly and said, "She's a hottie."
Sam looked back at her surprised, then back down at Quinn who was stretching and talking to Santana and Brittany.
"Oh, you...like...girls? I mean that's cool you know." he assured her.
McKenna almost snorted, "Um, no. As friends, they're ok. But I think girls, especially teenage girls are super annoying."
Now he definitely looked confused but McKenna hurried on, "I mean, they start getting needy, paranoid, wanting you to buy them stuff…"
His faint smile returned and he flopped her ear again, "Definitely, completely...really weird."
"Don't get too close. My doctor says it's contagious." she put a strand of hair in between her lip and nose to make a mustache.
His smile was so cute, she'd be weird all the time if it kept him smiling.
He began to turn back down the stairs, "Well, I'd better get going. Nice to talk to you McKenna." he said as he went back down to the opening in the fence to the field and stopped to talk to the cheerleaders as he passed them.
Sighing McKenna refused to go back over the conversation. That ship had sailed and she would just see what came of it.
'Flames, lots of flames, capsizing and sinking.'
She had never been the type to dote on a boy. Not lately. It occupied too much precious time and brainpower. She had found it was easier to just dispense with the expectations and hope early, and just take what was given to her. She could be happy with a humorous acquaintance with Sam. After all, he was in an up and coming show choir and would spend most of his time with others there. She also had her plate full with her activities and homework, and home life. So it seemed this is where the road ended with this one.
She shifted to get her math book out and began to occupy her mind with the numbing equations, blocking out the game in front of her.
"Mr. Scheu," Rachel leaned over his desk, her eyes intense and her voice solid, "I have worked a long time for this. We had it all planned out. You can't change everything."
She was backed up by Mercedes and Kurt who murmured their agreements. "Look guys, it was part of the terms...they wanted open auditions and I can't just ignore what we heard today." the curly headed man tried to reason with them.
"I've put my heart and soul into everything I do. This is my life! I work hard in glee, I will do the same for this! You don't know anything about this girl. If she's reliable…"
"She looks like she's on psych-meds or should be to me." Mercedes added.
Mr. Scheuster coughed, "You want this to be a good performance don't you? Don't you trust me to make the right decision?" he asked.
The lack of immediate response was answer enough.
Rachel looked hurt. He knew she was, it had taken these two an hour to get her to come out of the bathroom stall after the auditions.
"Look, if you do this, I don't think I can face coming to class either." she stammered dramatically.
Mr. Scheuster shook his head, "Now Rachel. Don't be like that. Take the weekend to think about it. It's not as bad as you're making it."
"We agree Mr. Scheu. This is very important not just to Rachel but to us. We will stand by her." Kurt said seriously.
Rachel was almost in tears again, "Please Mr. Scheu. Don't take this away from me."
Monday came too quickly. McKenna made a mental note to herself to make time for an oil change as she shut the hood of her truck after examining the mucky dipstick. Torri was already ahead of her talking to some girls as they headed, yet again, for the building. She could only tag along with him for so long she knew then she had to get her own friends.
Trudging along she somehow found her way to her classes. Tina wasn't there so McKenna felt extra isolated. Suddenly she remembered the castings should be posted. When lunch came she found Torri and told him she would be back after looking at the list and he nodded, wishing her luck.
Trying to walk quickly in a long skirt made of parachute material was proving very difficult and she finally came to the music department in time to see a large crowd gathered around the bulletin board. There was no directed attention to what would be a list, it must not be out yet. All of the glee kids and some others were talking excitedly as they waited.
McKenna stopped across the hall, letting her eyes wander over the posters for different clubs and the homecoming dance in a couple weeks. Her credits would all be satisfied with this play so she didn't have to worry about joining anything else.
She had gone to one homecoming dance but figured if you had gone to one they would all be fairly similar. Maybe not in her case though...a story for later.
Glancing back over to the crowd she spotted Sam who was talking to Quinn. She held herself very distracted with her nails and a file, making him exert extra effort to keep her attention. Torri had said she seemed to be a very smart, slightly snotty girl. He had adopted a strict code against dating cheerleaders because it seemed they were like butterflies, never happy with the flower they were with at the time and always eyeing the next. Yeah, she never let him live that analogy down. It was true though, many girls seemed to not appreciate what they had when they had it. But what did it matter when you were 17 anyway? McKenna wanted to enjoy being a teenager and was in no hurry to grow up. What was the rush?
The woman she had talked to at the audition came out of the music room, instantly getting mobbed by the group of giddy high schoolers. She struggled to get to the bulletin board and hurriedly skured the paper with a thumbtack and retreated.
It was like black friday at the mall. McKenna half expected someone to get trampled. Most of the faces were bright and ecstatic. Only a few walked away with clouded or sad expressions. The glee group stayed around, patting each other on the back and the girls jumped up and down hugging each other.
McKenna began to step over as the crowd dispersed but as she walked up Artie, Brittney and Santana's eyes followed her. McKenna began to wish she would have just skipped the next class to come and look but she forced a smile and inched closer to where she could just make out the names:
Artie-Jean Valjean, Mercedes-Fantine, Javert-Sam, Thetenars-Mike and Brittany, Cosette-Quinn, Eponine-Rachel...
McKenna barely scanned the rest of the leads, disappointment hit her like a slap in the face. She was angry. She had always been a good sport about castings and was never overconfident, except now. Maybe it was because of who she failed in front of. She was angry with herself for being upset like the prima donnas she had always been critical with.
'Oh man, I am one. I'm acting all nuts.' She groaned inside.
At the very bottom of the alternate chorus list her name grabbed her eye but she turned and walked away quickly. She didn't even know what an alternate chorus was.
The play would be incredible with this selection and the teachers obviously felt it had the most synergy or...whatever the stupid word was.
She passed through the group without making eye contact with anyone, schooling her face to look impassive. Restraining the ridiculous feeling to kick an innocent garbage can, she walked back down the hall towards the outdoor common area, the pressure of tears suddenly, irritatingly trying to erupt. Behind her the crowd began to forget her already. Only Sam's eyes followed her until she had turned the corner.
She went to band slightly late, after finally calming down and putting on a cheerful face. Ms. Winkleman must have known what happened but didn't mention it.
Instead McKenna began to learn her guitar part in the music she would not be singing. She'd be ok she decided.
At the end of the period she told Ms. Winkleman that she would rather be in the orchestra than chorus. Hesitantly, the woman nodded, it was McKenna's choice and she was happy to have her.
Most of the class had gone by the time she had gotten 'Jim' the guitar back into tune and was playing a quick song she'd learned on the internet. Mr. Scheuster walked into the room and he paused when he saw her plucking away.
"Hi McKenna." He said and walked over to the piano, setting down his bag.
"Hey Mr. Scheuster." she said with a smile that stung her inside. "Sorry I'm just leaving."
She began to pack up her guitar. He watched her until she headed for the door but he stopped her, "Hey, the rehearsals for the musical start tonight. I'm excited to have you in it." he said genuinely.
McKenna's smile almost broke but she shrugged, "Oh, yeah, I was going to ask you about that. I think, I think it's going to be more complicated than I thought to do band and that together. I'll have to drop it, if it's not too much trouble."
His face turned a dull shade of disappointed. He knew her true feelings and she hated herself for it but her pride was definitely getting the best of her.
"I wish you'd reconsider. You have a, an awesome voice. I wish you would join the glee club." he finished just as Rachel and Finn came in, arm in arm.
A sudden feeling of calm came over her and she smiled again, "I think I would have a lot of catching up to do. You guys are awesome and the last thing you need is someone gumming that up. I've gotta go finger paint now." she concluded and walked to the door.
"Congrats guys!" She said to Rachel and Finn.
She meant it, or she wanted to mean it.
Out in the flow of the hall she let a deep breath out.
'Seriously over that.' she thought when a hand grabbed her arm and she was pulled to the side of the hall.
"That's messed up." Sam said shortly.
Ugh the last thing she wanted was his sympathy or pity.
She looked away with a sigh, "Mr. Evans your lack of subject definition is driving me crazy. Are we talking about the pathetic amount of cheese on the cheesy rolls at lunch or the nominations for president?"
"McKenna, you know what I mean. You should have gotten a lead." he was so serious, she liked his smile better.
How come she couldn't get him to smile like Quinn could?
She slapped herself emotionally and shrugged, "I don't know, I think they picked the right people for it. You'll be amazing as an obsessive mean cop. Just don't fall on me in the orchestra pit k?"
He blinked at her, "The pit? You're in the chorus though?"
"Oh um, yeah I guess I'm doing the alternative and playing in the orchestra." she informed him adjusting the strap of her bag slightly.
He had the Mr. Scheuster face, disappointed, "Come on. Don't do that. That's like, exactly what Rachel would do if she didn't get what she wanted."
There it was. Someone said it. And the truth that she was bitter about it tasted all the more sour since he had said it. He knew nothing about her nor cared and here he was lecturing her about good sportsmanship. She needed to calm down, she could handle this like a semi-mature woman.
"I know. And if it was just that I think I could just go with it. But, I don't think I wasn't very considerate of Ms. Winkleman, to do that without telling her first. And probably, now that you mention it, Rachel for that matter. She obviously feels really strongly about this and I'm glad she got it. Really. She deserves it."
There, blame it on other people. Good move. And from the thoughtful look on his face she thought he was buying it.
"Are you going to join glee club then? We could really use another voice. New York?" he tried.
McKenna glanced in the doorway at the group all sitting in their chairs and talking to each other.
"You know what Sam. I don't belong in there. And that's ok. There's a whole world outside that room and to be honest I kind of like it out here." she swept her hair around over her shoulder and smiled.
"It sounds like you're not giving them a chance. We're not that horrible McKenna."
"I know that. I just, have kind of my own thing and I don't want to push that on anyone else who doesn't like it." She flinched as she listened to herself say it. It made no sense, he did.
Quickly she looked for another diversion and pulled a baggy out of her bag.
"Drugs?" he frowned with a slightly visible raised eyebrow.
She laughed, "Ew no. Cinnamon bear. Gotta go."
She presented him with the candy and turned to go to class.
"You're sulking!" she heard him call after her.
Ugh Diversion fail. After all that he still nailed it. How could a cinnamon bear fail?!
She looked halfway over her shoulder but decided it was better to pretend not to hear. She could almost smell the smoke of the bridge she'd just burned. She needed to paint.
Oh, there was a soccer game tomorrow. She'd take out her frustrations on some poor defender and the back of the net.
She didn't talk to Torri much on the way home when he asked about everything. With another shrug she told him she didn't make it and from the serious look on his face she knew she didn't fool him either. Gritting her teeth she wondered how guys were starting to get so intuitive but he gratefully left it at that.
