Chapter 4.

I wake up, slightly dazed, to the soft snoring of Nami in the girl's chamber. From the dim light that filters through the closed curtains I deduce that it is breaking dawn. I swing my legs over the side of the makeshift bed the shipwright Franky installed late last night. It takes me a few moments but I start to regain my balance against the subtle movements of the ship.

I look around the room but only see Nami's sleeping figure curled up under the covers. Robin didn't come to bed last night. I wonder, with a strange sort of guilt, whether my presence has something to do with it. I am a stranger on their ship after all.

I head to the bathroom and run the tap on full. The cold water breaks my chain of thoughts and takes my worries away with it down the drain. I look up to the mirror hanging above the sink and to my surprise my reflection no longer shames me.

My eye are no longer that dull, empty black like endless mines. They are full of life and hope and new found freedom. My skin, though still marked by cuts and bruises, has a vitality that it's lacked for years. My hair, long like black drapes, hangs limply over my waist. I grab a pair of scissors from the cabinet under the sink and slice off the strands until my hair hangs just above my shoulders. Just this small change and I look different. A bit older, a bit more mature. I give myself an encouraging smile and head for the kitchen, in hopes of catching an early bird awake on the ship.

When I reach the ship's deck I am stunned by its beauty. The sun's light just peeking over the horizon catches every minute detail that I missed the night before. The main deck is covered in dewy grass and the great sail that bears the symbol of the straw hat pirates casts a looming shadow over the ship. A light goes off in the room above the sails. I wonder briefly if Robin is the one in that room, but I leave my misgivings in favor of the kitchen.

Inside the sound of sizzling and the smell of smoke fill the room. On the edge of the room, behind the counter, I find Sanji flipping a smoking fish in saucepan with one hand and drawing on his cigarette with the other. I walk closer to him until my footsteps grab his attention.

Unfortunately I seem to grab too much of his attention. He showers me with compliments and pours me a glass of freshly pressed juice from a tray with three glasses, which I assume are for the other ladies on the ship. It makes me feel relieved to know that I am not the only target for his affections.

I say a quick "Good morning" when he allows me to get a word in edgeways. He beams a blinding smile, then midway through his serenading he remembers that only yesterday I was a patient on their ship.

"How are you feeling this morning?" He says, and I can see the genuine worry in his eyes. It almost makes my heart flutter. I look down at the ground in embarrassment.

"I'm fine now." I say, "I think the soup from last night did the trick."

Now he is the one who blushes and turns back to the saucepan he seemed to have momentarily forgotten. "I'm glad to hear that. I hope you will enjoy this too. Pan fried fish in white vinegar."

He gives the fish another flip, this time much higher than he had when I entered the room. I chuckle under my breath. He is definitely a classy chef.

"Do you need any help?" I ask when I notice a bowl of fish that have not yet been gutted. He declines but I am persistent.

The first step to becoming accepted anywhere is to do what needs to be done. In this case it is the fish that needs to be done. It takes me a while but after convincing him of my restlessness and my need to preoccupy myself, he relents and I grab the sharpest knife I can find.

I try to fillet a fish but it slips out of my hand every time I get the knife near it. Behind me Sanji tries in vain to keep his amusement concealed. He takes hold of my two hands and guides me through the motions with a precision befitting a first class chef.

"Have you never cut a fish before?" he asks. I shake my head. "You have to hold it firmly but loosely. Like something delicate that you don't want to break but you don't want to drop."

He makes it look so effortless.

"This is the first time I've had to do this." I say absentmindedly. In my early life I was too young to help out in the kitchen and by the time I met Alistair my only purpose was to make money performing; kitchen duties fell to the other captives.

I try again without his assistance and the knife glides through the fish, spilling its innards onto the chopping board. I feel nauseous at the sight of it. Only yesterday, that could have been my stomach.

"Hehe you're a natural—eh, what's wrong?" Sanji says, peering into my face.

I avoid his eyes and line up the next fish. "Nothing. I'm fine."

"You know, I've been meaning to ask you…" he begins, ignoring my unsure response. "It's just that…is there a reason you don't want to go back to your island?"

"No." I say a bit too quickly. "No reason at all. I just want to travel for a while."

"On a pirate ship?" he says sceptically.

I ignore him and pull out another fish. "It wasn't planned, but a pirate ship is better than no ship." I say casually. "Because of all the er…trouble on Blues Island merchant ships don't stop by often. It's not easy to leave that place."

"Oh…" he says simply, but I get the impression that he doesn't believe me.

The door opens and, as if on cue, Robin saunters in smiling. She greets us both politely and takes a seat on the table across the room. I smile back at her, but something about the way she was observing at me reminded me of the girls in the halls. Suspicious, hidden under the guise of cordiality.

Sanji and I prepare the last of the fish in silence and I am surprised to see that he hadn't left me in order to flirt with Robin. It confirmed my suspicions. They were watching me.

Not that I could blame them, of course. I would have reacted in the same way.

A lone girl refusing to return to an island guarded by marines, who seeks to journey the world on a pirate ship despite having implied that she was a victim of pirates. I could probably be a marine myself for all they knew!

I sigh and wonder what my next move should be. It won't be possible to stay on this ship forever.